Author's note: Since I finished Defenceless on such a low note, I thought I'd do something light-hearted. And, be honest, someone had to do it. It's juvenile, but humour plays havok on an idle author's mind. I came up with the list when I was walking home from work yesterday. Enjoy!

30 ways to annoy Arthur

1. Tell him that his armour is back to front.

2. Ask him if guys dig the haircut.

3. Bow to him every ten seconds, shouting out 'Yes, my liege', even if he hasn't said anything.

4. Whatever it was, say Merlin did it.

5. Find a picture of him and place it in a love heart in Morgana's room. Tell him that she wants to speak with him, and then tell her that Arthur is sneaking into her room. Caution: Stand well back.

6. Place a picture of Morgana in a love heart in his room.

7. No. 6 + Tell him Merlin did it.

8. No. 6 + Tell Morgana.

9. Tell him that Merlin has gone back to bed.

10. Place a lady's undergarments in his room, in plain sight. Tell Uther that Arthur wants to speak with him, and then tell Arthur that his father is in his room. Caution: Keep at least one floor between you and them (You'll hear it anyway).

11. Ask him if he prefers Morgana in a low-cut.

12. Tell Morgana.

13. Tell him that Uther is arranging a marriage between him and Morgana.

14. Ask him when the last time he threw a tantrum was.

15. Ask him if he shaves yet.

16. Ask him if he and Merlin are… 'close'.

17. Ask him if he and Morgana are… 'close'.

18. Remove all but one sock from his room.

19. Tell him that Morgana has the rest.

20. Agree with Merlin on every negative detail about him. Make sure that Arthur is in vicinity.

21. Tell him that Merlin is smarter than he is.

22. Stare at him for long periods of time. (Watch and wait for the reactions, it should be more amusing the longer you can keep it up.)

23. Grin and flutter your eyelashes whenever he speaks to you.

24. Make a list of all his faults and send it to him. (Remember not to sign it.)

25. Send the list several times for an intensified result.

26. Leave a list in Merlin's room. Tell him that Merlin has gone back to bed. Caution: Maintain a safe distance.

27. Ask him random questions. (For example: Do you like kittens?)

28. Tell him that his sword is a bit blunt.

29. Tell him that his aim is off.

30. Pretend to fall asleep when he's talking to you.