Hi, all! I finally found the inspiration (and time) to start writing again! Hopefully this is as entertaining to all of you as it is to me. I always find myself imagining what would happen if the Twilight characters were put in certain situations. Like homecoming, for example. Mine passed just a few weeks ago and I could imagine so vividly how Edward and Bella would react to the whole mum/garter situation. And thus, this little anecdote was born.

For those of you who don't know, in the south (I live in Texas), the day of the homecoming football game, girls are given mums by their dates to the dance, and boys are given garters. Mums are big corsages that are worn in the middle of the chest like a breastplate. They have tons of ribbons, whistles, bows, even lights hanging from the centerpiece. They're kind of rediculous. Garters are slightly less flashy and are worn around a boy's bicep.

So this is what would occur if they celebrated the mum tradition in Washington.

Please R & R. I'm always so much more motivated to write if I have constructive feedback. Enjoy!

I had been very clear with Edward: No mum.

No ribbons, no bows, no nothing. No garter, no football game, and certainly no dance.

He had agreed reluctantly, but he'd agreed nonetheless. So I was confident that he'd respect our agreement and not put me through such embarrassment—he knew how clumsy I was. I cringed when I imaged what adding a fifteen pound mum to the equation would do.

I donned my jacket and headed out into the sheeting rain. I hurried as quickly as I could while still making sure not to slip in a puddle and slid into Edward's Volvo.

"Good morning," he said in his silky voice.

"Good morning," I replied, looking up at him and feeling the usual intensification of all five of my senses. My heart gave a hyperactive thud as I stared at the archangel, the perfection that was Edward. Even after all this time, I couldn't stop looking at him. I couldn't get used to the chiseled lines of his jaw, the high planes of his cheekbones, the bottomless butterscotch color of his eyes, his—

He cleared his throat.

I finally tore my gaze away from his painfully beautiful face.

And then my eyes fell onto a heap of yellow and blue adornments in his lap. My brow furrowed.

"Edward. Cullen." My voice was unusually high, an embarrassing side effect of the anger.

He looked remorseful as he held up the mum in all of its sickeningly romantic glory. It was colossal—it had three blue heart-flowers at the top, cradling three miniature yellow bears. Ribbons cascaded down in a million different textures and patterns, "Edward and Bella" printed in sparkly lettering every which way I looked. Bells jingled and whistles tinkled, as if to assure me that not only would I be obnoxiously ostentatious, but I'd be loud, too. It was so big that it had a thick rope at the top to go around my neck—it couldn't've weighed less than twenty pounds.

"Edward. Cullen." I repeated.

He grinned crookedly. "I'm sorry, love, I couldn't resist. I didn't want you to feel left out. You only go through high school once."

I glared at him, my fury escalating. "That's not true."

"Alright, you only go through high school your first time once."

"I can't believe you! I can't believe Alice!" This was very obviously her handiwork.

"I—we all—want you to take advantage of this time, Bella. You won't know how precious humanity is until you've lost it."

"Edward, you're the most precious thing to me," I mumbled pathetically.

He leaned across the console to cradle my head in his ice cold hands. His lips descended on mine, caressing them in glorious patterns. "Then wear it for me," he whispered into my lips. "Please?"

How well he knew me. His lips on mine, my thoughts all jumbled, his cool breath clouding my thoughts. Of course the only thing I could say was "yes".

I was wrong.

It must have weighed thirty pounds. I felt like I had a full grown child clinging to my neck as Edward and I made our way down the hall together. The only reason I wasn't toppling over head first was because he was clutching my side and supporting my weight.

He was right, though. I didn't feel left out.

I felt like a walking, talking banner for Forks High School, that's what I felt like.

Even Jessica—Jessica!—made a sour face when she saw the grandiose mum weighing me down. Mike shot Edward a hateful look when we passed him, but made sure to jeer, "Bella, where'd your body go? You look like a floating head!" Angela told me I looked "amazing" when she and Ben strolled past us, arm in arm. I wondered why Edward, for once in his eternal life, couldn't be a normal boyfriend like Ben and make me a reasonable sized mum like Angela's.

Alice's mum looked just as big on her as mine did on me, but she pulled it off flawlessly, appearing as if it were the most common of occurrences. I made sure to give her a piece (er, rather large chunk) of my mind.

I made it through the first half of the day without any major incidents, but I figured one was absolutely inevitable. Edward and I were walking towards the cafeteria, and as I took my first step to ascend down the stairs, one of the longer ribbons of the unwelcomed addition to my outfit tucked itself under my shoe.

And that was the end of it—my feet flew out from under me and I toppled down the flight of steps like a rag doll, all muddled up in a blue and yellow ball. Edward was by my side at the bottom of the stairs in an instant.

I glowered up at him. "Are you alright, love?" His voice was almost as frantic as at had been the day he saved me from Tyler Crowley's skidding van. He scooped me up and set me down on my feet effortlessly, brushing the hair out of my face and looking into my eyes to gauge my reaction.

My neck grew hot, my temper flaring. "Edward…" I growled.

"I'm sorry, love. Really, I am." He kissed my forehead.

"Edward…" I repeated, closing my eyes to avoid his ocher eyes.

"Here," I heard him say. Suddenly, I had nothing around my neck weighing me down. My eyes flew open.

"…Edward. What are you doing?" I asked, looking him up and down. My mum was fastened around his neck—he looked as ridiculous as a dog wearing sunglasses. I snickered.

"Here. Now we're even," he declared confidently, sliding his hand back in mine.

And then he led me down the hall, making small conversation, as if all 356 of Forks High School's students weren't staring at him.