AN: This is Crack! at it's most extreme.

"Cas, hold still. Why're you wiggling so much?"

"I don't know." The angel was writhing on the floor with the tips of Dean's fingers in his ribs, making little circles. He couldn't explain it but this insane fleshy human laughter was erupting from him in bursts and he couldn't be still. "What're you doing to me?"

Dean was holding all of his own laughter in and doing a damn fine job of it if you asked him. "I'm just trying to calm you down. You look like you're having a seizure and you've lost both of your shoes."

It was true. Castiel's stocking-clad feet were digging into the carpet and kicking at the air in intervals as he rolled from his back to his side, curling and un-curling.

"Dean, quit teasing him." Sam said from behind his laptop as he attempted to do a little research through all the chaos. Dean's guess was that the shoe comment struck home with his younger brother who was a buzz kill anyway, really.

"Aw, but Sammy...he's just so cute!" Dean pinched Castiel's cheek. The one nearest him, which, as it happened, was not one of the ones connected to his face. The angel yelped and jumped back away from his aggressor, finally managing to get a breath in and sit up.

Sam wasn't going to deny that it was a little cute. But he sure as hell wasn't going to admit it either. "He doesn't look too happy, Dean."

"He's not a baby, Sam. He can talk for himself."

Castiel was in a pout as he got to his feet, rubbing the pinched area of his ass and towering over Dean for once in a conscious attempt to reassert his authority. He would not be humiliated by the human he ripped from the pits of Hell and shared intense and passionate make-out sessions with whenever they found themselves alone. "What were you doing to me?" He demanded.

Dean, too, got to his feet and looked down at the angel who, now, was a few inches short of his own height. "What're you gonna do if I don't tell you?"

"Withhold my kisses."

"Ooh-hoo-hoo. Yeah, real big stakes there, halo boy." Dean smirked, teasingly.

"Could you two just cut it out? Please?" Sam begged.

"Could you just stay out of it?" Dean barked back, turning his attention to Castiel once again. "I can get my kisses elsewhere, unlike you."

"Is that a challenge?"

"It is."

"Alright." Castiel held out his hand to be shook. "The first person to convince a kiss out of your brother wins."

"Deal." Dean narrowed his eyes, shaking the angels hand without forethought. "Wait, what?!"

"Um...I did not agree to this..." Sam interjected once more.

"That's the whole point." Castiel reasoned.

"I was just tickling you!" Dean blurted out. "That's all it was! A tickle-fight! An unfair one."

"We're not playing for that anymore. We're playing for my kisses and bragging rights."

"What do you know about bragging rights? And if you know what bragging rights and bets are, which by the way I believe gambling's a sin, then how the hell did you not know what tickling was?"

"Dean, shut up. Bet's on. You shook on it."

"Under duress!!"

"Ignorance, you mean." Came Sam. "And I'm not taking part in any of this."

Castiel crossed his arms and looked over at the younger Winchester. "Then I suppose you'd rather suffer through it until one of the two of us, and I assure you...I'm just as stubborn as your brother if not more, gives in?"

Sam closed his laptop and rubbed at his temples. He obviously was not going to accomplish anything this afternoon like he'd hoped. At least, like Castiel said, not until he gave in and made out with one of them.

"Come on, Sammy." Dean pleaded. "You know you want your big brother to win."

"I'm not frenching you, Dude."

Dean thought it over. "Yeah, you know, you're right. I'm not frenching you, either."

"So you forfeit?" Castiel smirked.

"No. I didn't say that!" Dean had a dilemma to sort through. What mattered more to him? Keeping his tongue out of his brother's mouth? Or maintaining his rank as bitch-master of resident angels? It suddenly became very clear to him and he made a mad dash at Sam's face.

"The fuck?!" Sam put up one of his monster-sized hands and Dean crashed into it face first. "I'm NOT kissing you, Dean."

"Well you didn't have to hit me!"

"He didn't." Castiel defended.

"Well of course you're siding with him."

"Why does God want me to referee the two of you guys' first marital dispute?"

"Shut up, Sam. It'd all be over if you'd just get over yourself."

"Sam..." Castiel said soothingly "Remember...you don't have to choose Dean."

"I don't want to kiss either of you. Besides, I've seen you kiss Dean. You use your angel mojo on him, and I don't want any part of that."

"It's ecstatic. Why wouldn't you want it?"

"It's gay."

"You're gay." Dean felt he had to throw something in.

"Says the guy who likes to make out with men who're possessed by angels."

"Well maybe men who're possessed by angels just do it better."

"Thank you." Castiel gloated.

"Have you two even made it past second base yet?"

"Yes." Said Dean.

"No." Castiel over-rode him. "Don't lie about that, Dean."

"Well don't tell our business about that, Cas." Dean glared.

"Why'd you tell him 'yes?'"

"None of your business."

"I think it concerns me a great deal, actually."

The look on Sam's face was of utter mortification. "Well I'm one hundred percent sure that it does not concern me." He said, standing up and preparing to make his leave.

"Sit down." Came the unanimous voices of Dean and Castiel.

"I don't think it's something we should talk about in front of my baby brother."

"Well for whatever reason, you seem to want your baby brother to think that we've had sex."

"Well the only reason we haven't yet is because you're such a prude."

"I'm an ANGEL!"

"An angel who's a cock-tease."

"So you want sex, then?"

"I wouldn't keep reaching for your belt knowing I'll probably get my hand slapped if I didn't."

"Okay. Stakes are raised, then." Castiel smirked. "If you manage to get a kiss out of your brother, I'll sleep with you tonight. If I kiss him first, I'll sleep with you whenever I choose and you'll be on bottom."

"Oh my god." Sam closed his eyes as if that would shut out everything he had just witnessed.

"Fine." Dean spat. "If you wanna cheapen our first time, go ahead. I'm not even going to bother playing." The color rose in his cheeks. He felt like such a damn woman right then, but it really was how he felt. He really did love Castiel and he really did want their first time to be special. He didn't even care if Sam knew the extent of his feelings, however embarrassing.

Castiel read Dean clearly, but he remained cold as steel. He was going to win this, by God.

AN: I wonder who'll win. I don't even know myself, at this point, lol.