I've made some huge changes to this epilogue, adding somewhere in the neighborhood of five pages to it, and overall making a fic I am very proud of. And for those who still want to know how he could afford the ring: NERV pays well. Very well.

Rage Against the Dying of the Light

Epilogue

One More Final: I Love You

I still don't know where to find happiness.

But I'll continue to think about whether it's good to be here…

whether it is good to have been born.

But in the end it's just realizing the obvious again.

Because I am myself.

-Shinji Ikari

Shinji ran, his breath hitching painfully in his chest.

"Asuka!" he called, "Asuka, wait!"

She gave no indication that she had heard, and continued to run. She was in better shape than he was, and he was losing ground rapidly.

"Please wait, Asuka!"

With a final, desperate burst of speed, he caught her. Unable to slow himself down, he crashed into her, and drove them both to the ground. She tumbled to her feet and tried to run again, but he grabbed her by the shoulders, holding her against him as she struggled.

"Asuka, please don't do this."

She struggled harder, screaming at him. She raised one hand and slapped him hard across the face. His head snapped back and he saw stars. For a moment, she stopped struggling, shocked at the force of her blow. Then she resumed trying to break free from his grip.

"Let me go, godammit! Let me go, you baka hentai!" she screamed into his face. He smiled at her and held firm.

"Why are you doing this?" he asked calmly.

"Because I want to!"
"I said before that you don't have to go back to being the way you were. It is still true."

She shook her head, and the tears ran down her cheeks.

"I love you, Asuka."

"Stop saying that!" she shrieked, "Don't ever say that again!"

"But I mean it."

"No you don't! You never did!"

He grabbed her gently by the chin and lifted her face up to his. She averted her eyes, refusing to look at him. He pulled her forward and kissed her gently on the lips. She screamed against his lips and tried to shove him away, but he refused to let go. He pulled away, his eyes shining.

"I love you, Asuka. I always will."

Finally, she succeeded in shoving him away. Unsteadily, she got to her feet. She looked down at him, her face wet with tears.

"No…you don't…"

She did not run this time. Instead, she stared down at him, her entire body trembling. He slowly got to his feet and put his arms around her. She struggled against him for a moment, then slowly calmed down as he held her tighter. Her whole body shook.

"Why are you frightened, Asuka?"

She tried weakly to push him away.

"Because you're lying to me."

He shook his head vehemently.

"Never, Asuka. Not to you."

She lowered her head.

"Why are you doing this?"

"Because I love you."

"Godammit, Stop saying that!" she screamed at him.

"Not while it's still true."

She fell to her knees, sobbing. Her body shook with each trembling gasp for breath. He held her and she cried against him.

"You never could love me! No one could ever love me! So stop lying!"
She shoved him violently to the ground and backed away. He looked up at her, his face anguished.

"I…guess this is it then, Asuka. At least…at least I tried…"

She stepped away hesitantly. He tried to smile, and found that it worked to some small extent.

"Go ahead, Asuka. It's always been…your choice. I guess this is…goodbye…"

She nodded, and then turned and walked away. Shinji watched her until she faded into the distance, and then he began to sob.

Asuka walked, heedless of destination. Her mind tormented her.

This was your last chance, and you blew it.

Screw that spineless wimp! He was lying, anyway!

He was not lying. He loves you.

So what? I don't love him!

Yes, you do. Stop lying to yourself. And stop running away.

I'm not running away!

Yes you are. If you leave him now, you lose him forever.

So what? I don't want him!

Yes you do. You want him…

No!

need him…

No!

love him…

No! No! Godammit, no!

Then why are you here?

She looked up, and was shocked to find herself right back where she had started. Lying on the dead grass before her was Shinji Ikari. He held his knees to his chest and sobbed, cries of anguish and loss that tore Asuka's resolve asunder. She knelt down before him, and he looked up, startled.

"Asuka?"

She smiled weakly.

"Shinji…listen…I-I'm sorry…"

He gaped at her. She put her arms around him, and he gasped in disbelief.

"I don't love you, Shinji. But…I did once, and I could again."

He began to sob again, but this time, the tears were not of anguish, of suffering. They were of joy. He hugged Asuka tight against him, sobbing her name.

And the heavens exploded.

Shinji and Asuka pulled apart in shock. The skies above them detonated into light, white power that spilled from on high. Shinji unconsciously hugged Asuka against him as the light descended to Earth. It rained across the ground, and where it fell, flowers sprang into life and the grass burst into green magnificence. Where once had been nothing but death and dust, life sprang forth anew. Birds burst into the air, filling the sky. Shinji and Asuka lay in awe of the heavenly power before them.

As quickly as it had begun, it stopped, and the sky turned blue once more. But on the wind, Shinji and Asuka could hear voices, human voices. They whispered of light and hope and of dreams fulfilled. Shinji and Asuka got to their feet, looked at each other, and began to walk. Asuka's hand moved of its own accord and grabbed Shinji's. They walked towards the ruins of Tokyo-3, and to them they were no longer ruins, no longer the discarded remnants of a dead world. A breeze sprung up, and it brought with it the smell of hope.

December 26th, 2016

The doorbell rang, and Misato sprang to her feet, knocking aside her beer.

"I'll get it!" she proclaimed loudly, and ran for the door. She opened it, smiling. Standing on the other side were Touji Suzuhara and Hikari Horaki. Hikari held a bag full of gifts. Misato smiled and bowed.

"Please come in."

They bowed back, and stepped inside. The house was fully decorated, nearly every inch covered with holiday garlands.

"Shinji! Asuka! Your friends are here!"

Two "hai's" rang out from the kitchen. A moment later, Asuka was there. She hugged Hikari warmly, then turned to Touji. He smiled and extended his hand. She took it and shook it, albeit harder than truly necessary.

"Shinji can't come right now. He's busy setting up the last of the decorations."

Hikari and Touji nodded.
"I'll help him out!" Hikari said, smiling, and departed the hallway. Misato followed her a moment later, mumbling something about beer. Asuka and Touji locked eyes.

"I still can't believe Shinji fell for a demon like you."

"I still can't believe Hikari fell for a stooge like you."

The snarled at each other just as Hikari poked her head back into the hall.

"Touji, stop trying to pick a fight with Asuka and help me out here!"

He tried to come up with a retort and failed. After giving Asuka one last venomous glance, he walked into the kitchen. Asuka followed him, grimacing in distaste. She entered the kitchen, where Shinji and Hikari had their hands trying to string the last of the lights around the oversized Christmas tree. The doorbell rang again. Asuka sighed, and turned to get it. She opened the door, and standing on the other side was Koyou Fuyutski. She bowed, and he bowed back.

"It is nice to see you looking so well, Secon-Asuka."

She smiled.

"You as well, Commander Fuyutski."

Fuyutski had been given the position after Commander Gendou Ikari had failed to return from the LCL. Though the angels were gone, NERV still needed to exist in a perpetual state of self-defense, and thus, a skeleton crew was kept on hand. He stepped into the hallway and followed Asuka into the kitchen. Upon seeing him, Misato instantly stopped what she was doing and saluted rigidly. Fuyutski smiled and waved his hand.

"No need, Katsuragi. This is no longer work."
She smiled sheepishly and turned back to her beer. The doorbell rang again. Asuka sighed wearily and went to get it.

The guests had all arrived. Fuyutski had been followed by Ritsuko and Maya, then Aoba and Hyuga, and finally Kensuke, carrying his camera. Kaji and Rei's whereabouts were unknown, and it was generally believed that they had not returned from the LCL. All the guests sat around the table, talking and drinking. Misato had wanted one final party before their little group was disbanded and sent to other divisions of NERV. Shinji sat beside Asuka with one arm around her shoulders and tried to ignore the disgusted looks he received from Touji and Kensuke. Conversation died down as Misato stood up and raised her beer can.

"I'd like to propose a toast, if I may," she said, her words slurring slightly. "To old friends we've lost and to battles we've won. It's nice to be together again after all we've been through together."

All the guests raised their glasses or cans in the toast and cheered heartily. Misato blushed and then sat back down. Gifts were distributed, passed from hand to hand. Shinji smiled and proceeded to open the box he received from Touji and Kensuke. A note fell out.

Dump the Demon!

Shinji chuckled, and opened the box. Inside were several SDAT tapes and a colorful picture of Asuka burning in hell. He chuckled again and was proceeding to open the next present when he felt Asuka's light touch on his shoulder. He turned, already knowing and dreading what she was going to say.

"You forgot to give me a gift, baka." she said softly.

"I-I well, I figured I should give it to you in private…"

A snicker from across the table. Shinji turned to see Kensuke and Touji laughing into their hands. Asuka grabbed an empty box and threw it at them. She turned to him again, confused.

"What do you mean?"

He stammered, unable to find the right words.

"Well…I-I-I thought that…"
Misato called from the other end of the table.

"Stop running away and give it to her, Shinji!"

The entire table turned to look at him and his face turned beet red. Slowly, tentatively, he pulled from his pocket a very small black box, only big enough to hold a piece of jewelry. A piece of jewelry like a ring. Asuka felt all the blood rush out of her face.

"Shinji?" she asked, her voice small and weak.

He extended the box towards her, and she opened it slowly. Inside was a beautiful gold ring with the largest ruby she had ever seen set in the center. The whole room gasped in shock. She looked away from the ruby, shocked, to see Shinji looking at her, his face pleading. He got down on one knee, slowly. She watched as if in a dream.

"Asuka" he asked, "Will you marry me?"

The whole room gasped again. Touji and Kensuke simultaneously screamed 'No!' and Hikari hit them. Asuka looked from the ring to his face. For one horrible moment she considered saying no, but then she remembered how he had held her, how he had loved her, how he had needed her.

"I…yes."

Touji and Kensuke collapsed. Shinji grabbed her by the shoulders and kissed her on the lips. Misato began to cheer, and the whole room joined in, even Fuyutski. Hikari lunged forward and grabbed her friend around the waist, crying in happiness. And somewhere, a girl with blue hair and beautiful red eyes smiled.

Shinji woke up when his door opened. He turned over just as Asuka stepped into the room. She walked over and crawled into the futon beside him.

"A…Asuka," he croaked, terrified, "Maybe we should wait until after we're married…"

She giggled.

"I'm not here for that, baka. I just wanted to sleep with you tonight. Like we did after Third Impact."

He nodded, embarrassed, and tentatively put his arms around her. She sighed in contentment, and snuggled deeper into his arms. As her warmth began to lead him into sleep, he spoke.

"Asuka, I love you."

She nodded.

"You'd better. I love you too, Shinji."

He kissed her lightly on the forehead, marveling in her beauty.

"I'm glad I'm not running away anymore," he said softly, "I'm glad you caught me."

She nodded again, already half asleep.

"And mother was right. Love is…the greatest thing man can ever have…"

And he smiled.

The void stretched out before Shinji, desolate and cold. He shivered and put his arms around himself. He was alone here, and it filled him with a fear that was primal in intensity. He whirled around and began to run, screaming for anyone to come, to help him.

And she was there.

Asuka was walking towards him, her stride full of purpose and poise. It was like seeing the old Asuka again. He ran towards her, his face breaking into a massive grin of relief.

"Asuka! I'm so glad you're here!"

He reached her and moved to embrace her, to hold her in his arms. She walked right through him as if he wasn't there. In shock, he cried out her name and tried to chase her. But he was growing...dim. His form was disappearing. On legs that seemed more liquid than solid, he stumbled, and fell to his knees. Tears spilled from his eyes to strike the cold black floor and vaporize instantly into steam, like water droplets on a griddle.

"Asuka, I love you! So please...don't leave me..."

And a hand gripped his, warm and solid.

He woke from the dream with a gasp, sweat pouring down his face. He turned to see Asuka clutching his hand tightly in hers. Her deep blue eyes stared into his own. Seeing her face brought the dream back in full force, and he opened his mouth to tell her.

"Asuka, I-"

"You talk in your sleep."

"Oh. Sorry. What did I say?"

"It doesn't really matter now. You're awake, aren't you?"

He slept the rest of the night through without nightmares.

To Asuka, the rows of graves looked barren, desolate and untouched by humanity. She shuddered, and not just from the chill wind blowing across the barren expanse of land.

She glanced at Shinji out of the corner of her eyes. His stride was purposeful, intent. He turned slightly and his eyes met hers. She smiled.

"You didn't have to bring me along."

"Yes I did." She waited for him to continue, but he seemed to be satisfied with the answer he had given. She shook her head.

His pace slowed, then came to a stop. Shinji's hands tightened around the bouquet of flowers he carried.

The grave before them bore a single name etched into the stone with mechanical precision.

The name was Yui Ikari.

I'm here, mother. And I've brought Asuka with me.

If the grave had heard his thoughts, it gave no sign. Shinji kneeled, then placed the bouquet gently at the foot of the grave. He got to his feet and turned around.

The first thing he noticed was Asuka, smiling at him with a benevolent kindness that he never would have believed she possessed when he first met her.

The second was Kaji.

If Asuka hadn't been so startled by it, she would have laughed out loud at his double take. Instead, she simply turned around, and did a double take of her own.

Kaji looked like he had been through several train wrecks in a row, then a couple plane crashes for good measure. His clothes hung in rags, and his hair was tousled and full of twigs and grass. His seemingly permanent stubble had become a full grown beard. He smiled. It was the same roguish smile that they had seen in their dreams for so many nights.

That clinched it for Asuka. With a cry of joy, she sprang into Kaji's arms.

"Kaji!"

He winced at the sudden impact, stumbled, then fell backwards, Asuka still clutching him in a death grip.

"It's…um, nice to see you, too." He said when he regained his breath.

Shinji stood there, unable to say anything. In fact, he didn't know what he would say even if he could, so it pretty much evened out.

Kaji grinned at him.

"I knew we would meet again, Shinji Ikari. Life seems to be so much more boring without you."

"Wh…where were you? Why didn't you come back with the others?"

Kaji smiled again, but this time his smile seemed…forced.

"I was…meditating."

Shinji simply looked at him, and he continued.

"After you destroyed Malkiah, I was given a choice of whether or not to return from the LCL. It was a difficult decision, but I decided to return. I returned in the woods far outside of Tokyo-3, and instead of coming back right away, I decided to spend time by myself; mediating on whether I should truly come back to Tokyo-3, come back to Misato and all of you. I was trying to find an answer…about myself. My purpose here."

"Did you find it?"

Kaji grinned again, and this time, it was genuine.

"Nope."

Misato Katsuragi was not the most dignified person at the best of times. Finding out the man she loved had come back from the dead was not exactly one of those times. She leapt into his arms, knocking him on his ass for the second time that day. Then her mouth met his in a kiss that made Shinji and Asuka blush, and look away for a moment.

And another.

And another.

"Wanna go get some tea, Shinji?" Asuka asked, beginning to feel very, very awkward.

He was already gone.

"Baka!" she screamed, and ran into the kitchen after him

Misato and Kaji stopped kissing for a moment, and looked at each other.

"You were going to tell me something?" She looked at him expectantly.

"Oh yeah, that. I love you. Now, you were showing me something?"

She was perfectly happy to continue the demonstration.

The glittering stars shone overhead, making the night glow with an ethereal light. Shinji and Asuka sat together, holding hands. They simply looked up at the beauty before them. Kaji and Misato sat together as well, the sanctity of the moment making them cease kissing, if only for a moment. Shinji broke the silence first, his voice barely above a whisper.

"I wonder…if we were right."

Asuka cocked an eyebrow at him curiously.

"Right?"

"About everything. About rejecting Instrumentality, about continuing like this."

Behind them, Kaji laughed softly.

"Shinji, I've been asking myself that question since I first returned to this world. I don't know…if we were right, if this is what should have been…and I don't think it matters. Life isn't always about right or wrong. Sometimes, it's just about the choices we make. The choices we live with."

"And you believe that?"

"I have to. For my peace of mind."

"Oh. But-"

"You talk too much," Asuka said, then covered his mouth in hers. Kaji and Misato both burst out laughing, then followed suit.

Sometimes life is just about the choices we make. The choices we live with.

I can believe that.

Shinji closed his eyes into the bliss of Asuka's kiss. A tear rolled down his cheek.

Above them, all eternity shone down, bathing them in its brilliance.

I can believe that. And I can believe something else.

I can make my own choices now.

Thus Ends Rage Against The Dying of the Light

*Cue Pachelbel's Canon

Buddha, I love that song. Easily my favorite song ever.

Well, I've made a lot of changes, and I'm much prouder of this Epilogue than the last one. It's longer, and the WAFF is slightly tempered by….umm, more WAFF. I think I asked questions that can never be answered, and left them as such. And, about my earlier resolution that I would never write again, that kinda went down the toilet. I've got a Cowboy Bebop and a FFVII fic out, named And Death Will Have No Dominion and All Heaven in the Midnight of the Sun, respectively. If I ever write again in the Eva continuity, I think it will be more short WAFF fics that stay in the universe I created with Rage Against the Dying of the Light. But you never know. That's the problem.

Interesting little note for anyone who actually gives a shit: I came up with this as I went along. In other words, when I finished Book One, I fully intended on having the Evangelion stay the main bad guy. Then Malkiah came to me, and I wrote Book Two and Book Three. Then a fun little fellow named bucky ball came along and told me in no uncertain terms that my story sucked. Well, there was little I could do about that, but his fun-filled review made me realize something: I had no idea how to end my story. So I came up with the whole reason for Malkiah on the spur of the moment and luckily, most of you liked it. My boring and pointless story is finished now. You can leave now, possibly cursing my name.

Send all comments, criticisms, and whatever the hell else you feel like to