Sooo sorry it's been so long! Just been really busy with school and the election. HOORAY FOR OBAMA!!! OK so thank you all SO MUCH for your reviews! Keep them coming loves! I promise you won't have to wait this long again for another chapter!
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Chapter 2: "Never Dream Alone"- Ashlee Simpson
In the cold, in the cold winter
Under the full moon like a midnight sun
In the cold winter
Underneath the stars
Fall asleep with my hand on your heart
I won't let it skip a beat
In the cold, in the cold winter
Hey love, I won't hurt you
Night will come and go
I won't hurt you
You'll never dream alone
Dreams, dreams in a vivid slumber
Were connected, when I hold my breath
You're the only one who knows how to wake me
And underneath the stars
Fall asleep with my hand on my heart
You won't let it skip a beat
In the cold, in the cold, cold winter
Hey love, I won't hurt you
Nights will come and go
I won't hurt you
You'll never dream alone
I won't hurt you
Nights will come and go
I won't hurt you
You'll never dream alone
Chapter 2- Never Dream Alone
Of course it wasn't long before Bella had fallen asleep. I loved to watch her while she slept. She talks when she dreams, and it lets me see into her mind unedited. Plus, she makes the cutest faces and sounds. Although I didn't want to wake her, I knew I had to. She was still human and needed to eat. I shook her softly, gently jostling her and her eyes fluttered open and a yawn came from her mouth. Once she was staring at my face, I smiled.
"Time to awake sleeping beauty. You need to eat," I said.
"What time is it?" she asked, sleep in her voice. I waited for her to stretch before answering.
"Almost six. I've got to get you back to Charlie's," I told her and she sadly nodded. She got up, putting her shoes on and grabbing her things, which I took from her so I could carry them. We went downstairs where Carlisle and Esme were sitting in the family room. Carlisle was reading and Esme was sketching on a large pad. They looked up as we entered the room.
"Taking Bella home?" Carlisle asked. I nodded.
"Goodnight Carlisle, Esme," Bella said and smiled at the both of them.
"Goodnight Bella," they both replied, returning her smile.
"I'll be back shortly," I told the both of them before I lead Bella out the door. I opened the passenger side door for her as she got in. The drive back to Charlie's was quiet as usual. She hated when I looked away from the road, so we couldn't talk. Plus she had fallen back to sleep. We were back at Charlie's in no time with my speeding, and I kissed her forehead, making her wake up.
"Edward?" she asked.
"Yes. We're here," I whispered and kissed her forehead. Before she finished unbuckling her seatbelt, I was already out of the car and opening her door for her. I took her hand and helped her out, quickly grabbing her schoolbooks before we ran to the front door to get out of the rain. She unlocked the door and we walked in, pulling our jackets off and hanging them on the coat hanger.
"Dad I'm home!" Bella called to Charlie. I followed her into the kitchen and Charlie appeared in the doorway behind us. I tapped Bella's shoulder, getting her attention and she turned around.
"Hey Bells. Edward," he said.
Ugh. What is he doing here? Why is he putting my daughter through this? He's just going to leave again.
Charlie's thoughts ran through my head and I had to try my hardest not to wince. Charlie had not welcomed me back with open arms like Bella had, and he was rightful to hate my existence. I hurt Bella by leaving her, and I hurt myself. I shook my head to clear those awful memories from my mind, though I definitely cringed when an image of Bella, catatonic, her hair greasy, unwashed, and tangled, in dirty pajamas, lying in her bed staring straight ahead flashed through my mind. Charlie was thinking about it and Bella looked up at my face with confusion. I threw her a smile, but I couldn't completely cover my pain up.
"What do you want for dinner dad?" Bella asked Charlie.
"It's all taken care of kiddo. I ordered pizza. Are you… um, staying for dinner?" Charlie asked me reluctantly.
"No thank you Charlie. I just came to drop Bella off. I have some studying to do," I replied and he nodded before grabbing his raincoat and his keys.
"I'll be back soon Bells. I'm gonna go get the pizza," he said.
"OK dad." Charlie walked out the door and Bella buried her face in my chest, inhaling deeply. I kissed the top of her head and smoothed her hair. After a moment, she looked up at me. "Why did you cringe before?" she asked. I sighed.
"It's nothing Bella. I promise," I reassured her. She started to argue, but I pressed my lips gently against hers and she forgot what she was going to say. She pulled herself even closer and I gently broke away from her to meet the pout on her face. "You constantly undermine my self-control," I said with a chuckle.
"You seemed pretty in control to me," she mumbled.
"I was, but that doesn't mean it can't slip," I warned as she stared at my lips. "Now my love, I should go before Charlie gets back."
"You'll come back later… right?" she asked, tightening her arms around my waist even more. The pain in her voice was excruciating to hear. I kissed the tip of her nose.
"When Charlie is snoring, I will be back," I whispered.
"I can't wait that long," she murmured softly. Again I was glad for my over sensitive hearing. Sometimes her words were mushed together and it made her even harder to understand. I sighed at the sad look in her eyes. We both hated the agony of having to be apart for any small amount of time.
"I will never forgive myself for leaving you, or for anytime you were hurt because of me," I said clearly, making sure she read my lips clearly. Her fingers traced the crescent shaped scar on her hand absentmindedly and I swallowed hard, trying not to think about it.
"James wasn't your fault Edward. It was mine. I walked into the trap," she said strongly, trying to ease my pain. Bella had known James was at the dance studio from Alice's vision and decided to sneak away from Alice and Jasper to go to him. Later, while she was lying in a hospital bed I asked her why. It took her a few tries to explain it to me since the medication was making it even more difficult than usual to pronounce her words. She went on her own because she felt guilty about causing my family so much trouble. Hearing her say that was unbearable.
"If you would have just waited Bella, I would have protected you," I said.
"It's over with Edward. Let's not think about it anymore," she told me before forcing a smile. "I'll see you later?"
"Of course. I love you."
"I love you too Edward." With one last kiss, I headed back out to my Volvo and made my way home. As soon as I walked into the house, I heard Alice singing the National Anthem in every language possible. A suspicious look crossed my face as I headed up to her room and knocked on the door.
"Yes Edward?" she asked when she opened it.
"What are you keeping from me?" I asked and crossed my arms. She shrugged.
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"You wouldn't be singing the National Anthem in French in your head right now if you weren't," I pointed out.
"Maybe I feel like being patriotic!" she exclaimed. I rolled my eyes.
"What is it Alice? Is it something bad? The Volturi?" I asked, starting to panic. She mirrored my eye roll.
"Oh stop Edward. If it was bad, I wouldn't be keeping it from you!"
"So you are keeping something from me," I said with a smirk.
"Yes, I am. You will find out later. It's a surprise!" she told me and slammed the door in my face, starting to sing in Turkish now. I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose. Why did Alice feel the need to test me this way? I stormed up to my room and put on some Debussy to calm myself. It was hard to resist the urge to go rip Alice's door off the hinges and force her to tell me what was going on. Thankfully the music calmed me for the few hours I had before I was off to Bella's again. I took off running as soon as I was out the door. Running, feeling the cool air on my face, helped clear my mind. When I reached Bella's, I didn't stop as I jumped up to her window. I stopped breathing at the sight that met me. So this is what Alice was keeping from me. There was my Bella, sitting up in her bed, legs crossed, and in a silky, deep blue nightgown. A freesia scented candle was lit on her nightstand, heightening her scent. She looked nervous, but excited at the same time.
"Bella…" I whispered. "What are you doing?" She didn't answer, but crooked her finger, beckoning me over to the bed. I had no control over my feet, which moved on their own accord until I was sitting down on the edge of her mattress. "What is all this?" I asked.
"I wanted to do something nice for us," she said. She was so nervous that it made her speech impediment worse. She took a deep breath and got on her knees, crawling over towards me. Her warm lips pressed against my cold, marble ones and my throat burned with the familiar thirst I felt. I ignored my inner monster and kissed her back eagerly. Her trembling fingers found their way to the buttons of my shirt and I froze. This wasn't just "something nice" that she wanted to do for me. I grabbed her wrists and pushed her away, my face heavily disapproving.
"No, Bella," I said, making sure she saw my lips moving clearly.
"I want you," she murmured, her face hard as she pulled the straps down on her gown. I quickly pulled them back up before anymore of her body was revealed to me. It would only be harder to resist if it was. I pinned her wrists to her sides and shook my head.
"Stop it Bella," I said sternly.
"Why don't you want me Edward? Don't you want to touch me?" she asked, still trying to advance on me. The scent of her arousal was strong and I had to stop breathing before my instincts took over and I took her right then and there. It smelled heavenly.
"What has gotten into you?" I asked, bewildered. Her cheeks were flushed and she was breathing heavy as her face fell.
"So… you don't want me?" she asked, the pain clear in her tone and my heart was torn into a million pieces. My exterior softened and I pulled her into my arms. My hands gently grabbed her face, and I made sure her eyes locked with my lips.
"How can you even doubt me wanting you Bella? I want you so bad it's painful to deny you," I said.
"Then don't deny me," she whispered.
"You know why I have to. It's too dangerous. I could kill you," I explained. It wasn't the first time.
"No Edward. I don't think you could," she argued.
"Don't start. I have to mind my actions every second I'm with you. It's hard enough when you're not wearing this," I said and grabbed a handful of the silk gown. "I can't imagine trying to control myself while making love to you. It frightens me knowing I can hurt you so easily." My hands stroked her cheeks softly and she swallowed hard.
"I trust you with my life Edward."
"I can't Bella. Later, when I don't have to worry about breaking you," I soothed and kissed her forehead. Tears welled up in her eyes and spilled over.
"Please. I don't want anything, but this. You keep saying you want me to have all the human experiences I can grasp. This is the one I need to have. I need to have you Edward. Just you," she said, trying to hold back sobs. Her plea tore me up even further inside.
"Do you know how unbearable it is for me to see you cry? Of all the things in the world I've wanted to give you, you ask me to give you the one thing that I can't," I said. She wiped her eyes and made eye contact with me.
Please Edward. I need you so bad. You don't have to promise me everything, just promise that we'll try. It's all I want. Please.
She signed and I was taken aback. Bella never signed.
"Why did you sign?" I asked.
I'm afraid to speak. This is my only strong voice.
She signed, referring to her hands. I sighed and closed my eyes, thinking hard. It was so hard to deny Bella anything. This was a big decision. My eyes popped open as one thought stuck out in my head.
"Marry me first," I blurted out. I had asked her to marry me after we returned from Italy, but she hadn't said yes, or no. "Marry me and we'll try and I'll change you." Her eyes widened and I bit my lips together. I was nervous.
"That's not fair," she whispered.
"I'm hedging my bets and making a compromise. Look, I've not exactly existed without sin Bella. This is something I want to do right, for your sake," I explained. She scowled and crossed her arm across her chest.
"How did this happen?" she asked. "How am I now…"
"Engaged?" I finished for her. She shuddered and I smiled brightly. "Is that a yes Bella?" I asked. She sighed and looked up at me, a glimmer of love and some happiness in her eyes.
"Yes," she choked out. I pressed my lips against hers, feeling her heart stop before pounding against her ribcage. I slowly pulled away and smiled at Bella. Her face was flushed and she was breathing hard. Once her eyes opened, I spoke.
"You've made me happier than you'll ever know."
I love you Bella. You are my life.
I signed to her and tears once again filled her eyes. When I first met Bella, I didn't know any sign language. I studied it relentlessly once our relationship started and I was now a pro. Bella had no idea I knew it. I showed her that I learned it for her a few weeks after we became official. The first thing I signed to her was "I love you."
"I love you too Edward," she replied, her voice shaking hard. I kissed her again and she wiped her eyes before standing up and I stopped breathing again. The gown was so incredibly sexy on her.
"I really like this on you Bella," I said, running my fingers along the hem, just at her mid-thigh. Her heart started to beat faster and I smirked. Her legs moved slightly, making my fingers lightly run over the incredibly soft skin of her inner thigh. We both moaned and out of nowhere, Bella's lips were on mine again. Her impatient human hormones were getting the better of her and it was starting to eat away at my control. Her arousal was back and much stronger so I quickly pulled away, moving to the open window. I took a deep breath of fresh air and stared at Bella, who was sitting on the floor, leaning against her bed.
"I'm sorry Edward," she whispered. I swallowed the venom back before crawling over to her. Once she was looking up at me, I spoke.
"Don't be sorry. It was my fault. Why don't you change out of this? It's messing with both of our controls," I suggested and she nodded. I got up and helped her to her feet. Once she changed back into her sweats and t-shirt, we crawled into her bed after I blew out the candle. With a kiss goodnight, she fell asleep in my arms.