A/N: This is not Ryuk x Light. Unfortunately shinigamis cannot have sex. (Read the rules, boys & girls!) The inspiration for this came from a picture on Photobucket, oh yeah. x3
Disclaim: Although I do not own Death Note, Ryuk, Light, or the picture on Photobucket, I do own this ficlet; & I wrote it myself, I did indeed.
Title: Your Name And Sexuality, Please.

Ryuk lolled about playfully on the bed in his general let's-aggravate-Light manner.

"Liiiight," said the shinigami in a pseudo-seductive tone.

"What is it now, Ryuk?" Asked Light, obviously uninterested and not wanting to give into his roommate's childish attention seeking strategies.

Ryuk snickered a little before saying, "Your sister's TV shows are so interesting."

Light didn't answer or give any sign he had heard. He just kept his eyes and mind on the homework in front of him, trying to get it done so as to maintain a good grade, but fast enough so he would still have time for the Death Note, as was always the case.

"There was a man and woman kissing," Ryuk continued nevertheless, and then paused for a moment as if trying to do some sort of calculation in his mind. "Is it only ever a man and a woman? I mean, what about just men, or just women?"

Light exhaled heavily and continued ignoring Ryuk. The last thing he wanted now was some twisted shinigami version of the birds and the bees.

"Liiiiight," complained Ryuk. "Stop ignoring me!"

There was a brief moment's silence and then the flutter of wings as Ryuk elevated himself from the bed and came to float upside-down, a hair's breadth away from Light's face, making Light pull back suddenly. Needless to say, the death god really had no sense of personal boundaries.

"Have you ever kissed a man?" Asked Ryuk, with a huge jester like grin bearing all of his sharp pointy teeth.

Many a man may have been intimidated by this, but Light merely pushed the shinigami aside and replied, "No, Ryuk. I'm definitely not gay."

Ryuk's eyes widened as if he was seeing something only he could see. He floated about aimlessly in the air for a while longer before having another bout of snickering, which eventually turned into a full-blown laughing fit, which sounded much like a smoker on his last lungs.

"Hey, Light." He managed after the initial uncontrollable stomach spasms from all the laughter had subsided.

"What?" Replied Light sharply, still not lifting his head or eyes from the desk.

"Your name." Said Ryuk, still snickering. "Your last name. Write it down, but backwards."

Light hesitated, what was this, some kind of trick? Was the shinigami going to somehow trick him into writing his own name in the Death Note? Was there some kind of backwards name rule that Ryuk had conveniently forgotten to tell Light about? No, that would be pointless, thought Light. So just as a means of shutting Ryuk up, Light did as he was told, and wrote his last name 'Yagami' down, backwards. He was still extra careful to make sure it was on a piece of scrap paper and not a flyaway piece of the Death Note. He then handed the piece of paper to Ryuk.

Ryuk instantly grabbed the pen out of Light's hand before the boy could complain and made a couple of marks on the paper. Then the paper was once again handed back to Light.

"Read it," said Ryuk as he started to snicker and snort and laugh once more, flailing about in the air.

Light looked at the piece of paper out of curiosity to see what had the shinigami so worked up.

The paper that once held Light's last name backwards clearly stated:

IM-A-GAY