The Real Thing

So many of you writers are terribly misinformed! Want to know how I ACTUALLY got together with 'the' Vincent Valentine? Two-shot. Read on …

Author's Note: This story is not meant to insult or offend. It's meant to be a light-hearted story from Yuffie's point of view - basically what I think Yuffie would think. Chapter 1 will have three situations, and how Yuffie first started liking Vincent. Chapter 2 will have a few more situations, and how they got together.

Okay, okay. Many of your writers are terribly, horribly, horrendously misinformed on the reason and way Vincent Valentine and I fell in… ugh, love. I love it that you're all writing these amazing stories where you make me out to be a total babe, which, I am, and Vincent to be hotter times ten than what he really is. But really now, everyone. Let us now analyze the few situations that I, in my opinion, are more than just off the beaten trail. They're in the forest and underneath a big tree. Really. This fanfiction place is a real cool place. Some of these stories are cool... and some are just not. (Cid and I? Really?) So now I will write you all a lovely piece on just how, Vincent Valentine and I fell in love. On the way, I will share with you the first three types of stories I've stumbled upon.

Situation 1:
Babealicous Yuffie Kisaragi is beaten and abused, and Sexy God-Like Vincent Valentine saves her!

I understand where love gets into this. Yuffie is hit and goes 'owwww' and then Vincent, her loyal friend starts magically loosening up to her at this time, finds out, kills the person doing it, sweeps me Yuffie off her feet and they live happily ever after.

Okay.

Excuse me? Me? Yuffie Kisaragi? Beaten and abused. I am indestructible! Okay, well not as indestructible as someone like Vincent Valentine, whom, I admit, would be a great person to go to if I was abused.

Facts first. My father is Godo Kisaragi. He might not be the coolest guy in the world but he wouldn't abuse me. By the way, guys, he's a King. A king! If anyone tried abusing me, he'd kill them. Literally. While my father is a hard-nosed man, he DOES love me. I think. Furthermore, I'm a freakin' ninja. A N I N J A. You know, those really fast, super strong, crazy smart, stealthy people? I was trained as one for sixteen years, and I've BEEN a ninja for six years now. I think that my abilities need justice. I can run up walls, and my vertical jump is fifty inches. If a man tried abusing me, I'D kick his ass. As you can tell, quite a few people would kick this person's ass. AVALANCHE included. I would LOVE to see what Teef would do to a man like that. Even Godo, who loves me. I think. But he can't have the Princess of Wutai with bruises all over her body, anyway. It'd be a, and I quote this because it's the single most childish thing my dad's said, "Totally way-not cool, absolutely and incredibly not good for a hormonal young man who wants to make babies with my beautiful, sexpot daughter."

Well, I added the beautiful, sexpot part, but hey, a ninja needs some love sometimes, too.

"What if Godo sets Yuffie up with some hunky but psycho husband and makes her marry him?!"

Get this through your head. If my father tried doing that, I would get my pocky gun and shoot away at him. Really.

Situation 2:
The Stunning Yuffie is emo one day and when the gang suddenly decides to, totally out of the blue go to a karaoke bar, and then Yuffie sings an amazing song and Vincent Valentine suddenly falls in love with her.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Sorry, sorry, I'm so short of breath.

ME? SING? That is the single most funny thing I've ever heard! Although I am very talented, I can't sing. Me singing is a cat scratching out your ears, scratching a blackboard, and all those other clichéd metaphors. I can run, I can jump, I can spy, I can fight, hell, I'd be able to kick a grown man's ass. But I can't sing. End of story.

Want to know a secret, though? Vincent sings to me. He's amazing at singing, it gives me this feeling in my tummy and my knees and oh my. He only sings occasionally though - it's a shame.

I did, however, and I take this to be one of my greatest feats, get Vince to sing the Chocobo song. It was the most amazing night of my life. Besides, you know. Sex.

But that's another story.

Situation 3:
Yuffie the Super Sexy Ninja confronts the Anguished Vincent Valentine about that stupid bitch Lucrecia. Vincent gets mad but then they fall madly in love.

Ohh, Leviathan. This old one. Clichéd, and what a hurting subject.

First and foremost: Lucrecia Crescent is definitely and absolutely a crazy, weird bitch.

Pardon my French. But who in their right minds picks Hojo, who, is greasy, long haired, doesn't smile, and has BIG HUGE SHINY GLASSES - over Vincent - Sexy, Caring, and Kind? Especially someone as beautiful as her. I mean really, when it comes to that decision, I'm not the only one who would go with Vincent.

Second, Vincent and I already had that conversation. When were friends. I didn't call her a crazy bitch, and I didn't press him on it either. Vincent and I were friends and I simply asked him,

"Vincent, why does your heart still hurt about Lucrecia?"

And it wasn't because I had some undying confession of love hidden somewhere in me, it's because I was curious and the way my good old friend Vincent was still sad, made me sad as well.

Let's see how many of you will get this right. What do you think Vincent said back to me?

a. "That's none of your business, you stupid brat."
b. "…"
c. "Because, Yuffie…" -gets into a three hour long explanation- "Oh Yuffie, I love you so!" -kiss kiss kiss-
d. -walks away-

Well, you're wrong, fokes! It was a trick question. I'm a ninja, it's my habit…

But anyway. Vincent has never called me a stupid brat in my whole life. Nor will he ever! Second, although my big brooding man has a tendency to reply with 'dotdotdot's, that was not his reply. Third ... oh please. Just please! Vincent doesn't even proclaim his love for me like that now. Now, he does it just the way I like it - through his looks, his actions, his touch. The things he says that indirectly mean, "I care for you, Yuffie. I love you, oh sexylicious sexpot woman!" Just kidding, but you know. Fourth, well that's ridiculous. And stupid, really. The last, well, Vincent has more manners than that. He's actually quite a gentleman. You know, in that 'my life sucks and some crazy bitch left me for a greasy guy and I wish I could die but I need to atone for my sins first' kind of way.

So, what WAS his answer? This is what happened that night…

"Vincent, why does your heart still hurt about Lucrecia?"

We were at the Seventh Heaven. It was back when I was seventeen, almost eighteen, and it was just a few weeks after we defeated Sephiroth. It was late and we were all rooming there. Tifa and the others had retired to bed, the bar was closed, and we sat at a couch together, our arms touching lightly, a warm fire lit in front of us as our only source of light. He had his glass of water raised up, poised before his lips as he stopped and looked at me from the corner of his bloody-red eyes. Vince and I had gotten real close over the course of two years.

He didn't answer for a little while. He lowered his glass and leaned back into the cushy feeling of the couch.

"Yuffie, do you know what love is?" he asked me, staring into the fire, the red flames unrecognizable from his eyes.

I looked at my glass. The liquid sloshed as I held it unevenly; I had a little too much to drink tonight.

"Totally, Vince," I slurred slightly. "It's, uhh. It's when you love someone."

Vincent's lips curled into a ghost of a smile. "If things were that simple…" he mumbled.

I blinked my eyes together hard, to wake myself up. I felt the sober side of myself. Sweet.

"Well," Vincent tried again. "Do you think you love Cloud?"

A laugh bubbled from my throat. "No, of course not. I only had a crush on him, Vinnie, you know that. I don't like anyone now. What I felt for Cloud was definitely not love. But now? I do love Cloud. He's my friend. He's like family to me."

"That's a good start then," Vincent turned to me. "So what do you think love is?"

I sighed impatiently. "Vince, I'm seventeen and I'm tipsy. Not real patient. Wanna just tell me what you think love is? And then answer the question?"

Vince's ghost-like smile appeared again. "There is a love. You can… love your mother, or your father, your dog, or your best friend," he started. "When they move away, you cry. When they hurt, you hurt. When they are happy, you feel happy as well. If they die, it's like a piece of your heart was torn away, leaving your heart bloody and broken."

I opened my mouth to protest, but he shook his head. "But you only fall in love once, and that is when if the person leaves or goes away, you don't feel like half your heart is missing , because you know you given that person half of your heart. You always feel like you're complete, no matter what they do, where they are, because you even though they have half your heart, you've got half of theirs."

I put the glass down - I couldn't hold it without spilling it at this point. I leaned my head into his arm to comfort myself. "Go on." I said sleepily.

"Although I fell in love with Lucrecia, and I did give her my heart, it still pains me to know that I couldn't help her. I feel this pain because half of my heart is with her, trapped in that cave." He took a sip of water and placed the glass onto the table, gazing into the fire.

I yawned, then furrowed my brow. "You're wrong, Vince."

He turned to me slightly, not disturbing my head against his arm. "Enlighten me."

"Will you eat me?"

No answer.

"Well, Vince," ooh the room is spinning. Wheeeee. "I don't believe that you fell in love with her. I think that you think you fell in love with her." I was on the right of him, so I lifted my head and pushed his arm back a little. Slipping my hand under his cloak, I pressed my hand against his chest, the texture of his silk shirt like the surface of a river against my hand. Something warm beat steadily against my hand. "Oooh it's there." I marvelled to myself.

"When you," I raised my fingers to a sloppy quote signal. "fell in love, with Lucrecia, you didn't give her your heart. She took it from you. She, at the time, thought she loved you too, right? I'm sure she did… but even though she played a role in your father's death, if she was truly in love with you, she would have overcame that. But instead she made mistakes. She took your heart from you, which was already broken. She ran away with the pieces."

Looking up at Vincent, I smiled. "It's time you took your heart back."

Slowly, Vincent's lips turned up into a smile. A true smile. He said nothing, but I could tell a part of him knew what I was saying. Last I remember was slurring about how bad that last drink was, and then Vincent carrying me up to my room, tucking me in, and closing the door softly behind him.

I'll give you all a moment to go 'aww' and then I'll continue.

Done? Happy? Good.

So as you can see, these three situations, I think, are appalling. I won't get into the others - me turning into some kind of monster and Vince turning me human, etc, etc. But I will, however, since you have so patiently read this, share with you how I actually fell in love with the Vincent Valentine. And how he fell in love with me. And how we got together.

Now come, children. Cross your legs and sit on the floor, it's story time. Let us rewind to that night, two years ago.

I'm actually not quite sure when it happened. Vincent and I were close, that much was apparent. We had been the misfits of AVALANCHE, at first. Back in the first two years, at least. We were always paired for missions. Just us two. They sent us on the stealthier missions. Cloud knew that I, as a ninja, would excel in that. Vince, too, was pretty stealthy. Not only that, but strong, and always clear headed. We could take care of each other well.

At first, Vince didn't talk much. I don't blame him. We didn't know each other well. I didn't talk to him much at first either. Not because he scared me, but because I thought he was really odd. But we began to open up to each other. Thank you's when we healed each other. Working together when we fought. We're probably the best duo when it comes to fighting - Vince knows just when to stiffen his back so I can flip out of nowhere, use his back as a platform, and flip back to my opponent. And I know just when to back flip or duck when he's shooting where my body would have been. Cloud and the others know it, too. They know that Vince and I would kick their ass if we were to fight two on two's.

And so, we just became closer. When AVALANCHE would do something social, like say, a fundraiser party hosted by some huge company, or even just a simply party, I would find him sitting near the fire. Although I'm very outgoing, I always took out a few moments to sit next to Vince and talk to him. Gradually, those moments turned to hours. And then more hours.

Then, it just spread to everyday life. He was always dressed and ready before I was, sitting somewhere waiting patiently for whatever was to happen that day. I'd go down and he'd greet me with a, "Good morning, Yuffie." which became predictable, he said it so much. I'd greet him with a, "GOOD MORNING, VINNIE!" and we'd talk until Cloud came and yelled at us about missions or whatever.

I only thought of Vincent as a friend, at this point though. After the METEOR thing, AVALANCHE became the group that everyone went to, paying us to help out with chaos and disasters and such. So we became busy. We lived at the Seventh Heaven together. So we became closer. Mission after mission. He no longer cared when I called him Vinnie, and I no longer cared when he didn't answer some of my dumb, 'don't bother answer' questions.

Then, one day, Vince asked me something. It was about three weeks after the night he told me why he was still hurting.

"Yuffie?" he asked, standing behind me while I finished off the rest of my breakfast.

I gave the plate to Tifa, thanking her for breakfast. "What's up, Vinnie?" I replied, turning to him and leaning back against the counter, strapping more kunai's to my belt.

"Will you come somewhere with me?" he looked at me, his crimson eyes boring into me.

I knew I would go anyway, so I grabbed a few materia and my conformer, which rest on the counter. "Where to?" I asked, strapping the huge star to my back.

"…"

"Okay, okay. As long as you're not kidnapping me, I'll come." I joked, trying to lighten up his grim face. "Aw, come on, Vinnie. Lighten up. It's not like your dog died."

As if on cue, a Seventh Heaven puppy came barrelling down the stairs. When I was nineteen, Tifa decided that AVALANCHE needed a dog. And so, she bought a small, beautiful black dog, with soft fur. Unfortunately, and totally coincidentally, Barrett had decided that Marlene needed company, and thought that he should get an "AVALANCHE" dog, to be a part of the team.

Imagine their faces when they both came home, one with a small black dog, and another with a bigger, golden retriever. After they finished arguing over which to keep, deciding to keep both, we named the dogs Biggs and Wedge.

Biggs, the black dog, looked up at Vince and I. Vince's eyes lightened up at the small dog as he bent down to pet the little dog.

"Well?" He paused, looking up at me.

I nodded. "Let's go."

It took us about an hour on our Gold Chocobos to get to our destination. As we neared the location, I actually thought he was taking me to the Gold Saucer. But as my Chocobo followed his slowly, I realized where he was taking me.

"Oh, no, Vince… what are we doing…"

The Chocobo's crossed the mountains and stopped on the very little bit of field there was outside of the Crystal Caves. The entrance was eerie. I'd always hated it. It was dark, like a black hole, but inside deeper, there was bits of light, emitted from the crystals.

"Come, Yuffie."

I was rooted to the spot, staring deeply into the cave. It was Vincent who snapped me out of the trance, his cold, smooth hand grabbing my elbow and pulling me over to him.

I almost snarled at him, pulling my elbow back. He had a shocked look on his face.

"S-Sorry," I mumbled, following his slowly.

He led me through the caves, until we reached her dwellings. The rocks, the waterfalls, the crystals. It all glowed to me, so ethereal and perfect. Just like Lucrecia.

Vincent stood dead centre facing the crystal we'd all seen Lucrecia come from before.

"Lucrecia?" he spoke deeply. I'd always admired Vincent's voice. It was deep and beautiful, but it was like honey. It stuck to you way long after he'd finished speaking.

And then, fire flies floated out of the surrounding crystals. It was a spectacle. The flowing flies gathered in front of Lucrecia's crystal, sparkling from the original red-orange, to blue and green. Then, in a shock of light that hurt my eyes, Lucrecia appeared before us. More beautiful than ever before. In all truth I was half jealous of that woman too. So beautiful. But of course, I win, all-in-all. I didn't give birth to a psycho path.

"Vincent," her eyes danced. "and Yuffie?"

I nodded to her.

"Hello, Lucrecia," Vincent looked up at her, unsmiling. "How have you been."

"I've been well," her magical voice called. "Why are you here, Vincent?"

Vincent half smiled up at her. "I have an inquiry."

Lucrecia laughed, her laugh as beautiful as a song. "Ever so professional. I will answer it for you, Vincent. You deserve as much."

"Do you love me?"

Breath rushed out of my lungs as I looked towards Vincent. What was the point of bringing me here for this? I already think she's an evil bitch, I didn't need to be there watching her prove me wrong.

A surprised look graced Lucrecia's face. "Yes, Vincent. I do."

"How?"

She smiled. "The pain you feel now is not nearly as great as what I feel, because you are hurt. I wish for you to let the pain escape you so that I, too, will feel no more pain."

There is a love. You can… love your mother, or your father, your dog, or your best friend. When they move away, you cry. When they hurt, you hurt. When they are happy, you feel happy as well. If they die, it's like a piece of your heart was torn away, leaving your heart bloody and broken."

"Half of my heart is gone to you, because I know you will keep it safe. Just like you gave me your heart. But I want you to also move on. To be happy."

You always feel like you're complete, no matter what they do, where they are, because you even though they have half your heart, you've got half of theirs."

Vincent stared up at her, his eyes smiling. "I didn't give you my heart. My heart was already broken, and you took the pieces."

Lucrecia looked surprised. "…I suppose you're right, Vincent. I think that because I… played a role in your father's death, I wanted to piece your heart back together. For him, and for me."

When you fell in love, with Lucrecia, you didn't give her your heart. She took it from you. She, at the time, thought she loved you too, right?

"To relieve your conscious."

She looked ashamed. "Perhaps a part."

I'm sure she did love you… but even though she played a role in your father's death, if she was truly in love with you, she would have overcame that. But instead she made mistakes.

"So you believed that our love couldn't overcome your guilt?"

She took your heart from you, which was already broken. She ran away with the pieces."

"Yes. That's true." Her eyes were downcast, but she paused, then looked up. "I've told you the whole truth. Is this why you came, Vincent?"

It's time you took your heart back."

Vincent smiled gently. "I came to get something. I believe… thanks to someone, that I've atoned enough now. Even if my heart is broken, I want the pieces back. Because someone, somewhere will put it back together for me."

Lucrecia's smile mirrored Vincent's. "I'm sure there is." She floated towards Vincent, hovering above him. Reaching out a pale, ghost hand, she placed her hand where she would have caressed her cheek. "I'm glad that you're moving on."

He turned his head just slightly away from her hand. Just a fraction. "I will never forget the love we had. Nor will I forget this valuable lesson."

"And what lesson was that?"

"I learned what love is," he looked at a nearby crystal, then up at Lucrecia. "Goodbye."

I bowed my goodbye and Vincent turned. I followed behind him slowly. He had already disappeared out into the blackness when I turned back to Lucrecia. She had floated back to her crystal, but stared at me with her beautiful face. She smiled at me.

"Please take care of Vincent."

"I-I'll try." I nodded to her. "Thank you."

I ran out of the cave to catch up with Vincent, who was feeding his Chocobo some greens. Vincent looked to me as I emerged from the cave, his crimson eyes meeting my gray-purple eyes. He smiled both with his eyes and his lips - something that I thought was so beautiful. He should do it more often.

"Thank you, Yuffie." he told me, his voice sincere.

I smiled back at him.

I think that's when I fell in love with Vincent Valentine.

Ugh, cue my "stress-slash-undying devotion-slash-'oh god I love you Vinnie'-ness." Okay well I never got that mushy, but let me tell you. It did get that stressful. Oh my. My fingers are now sore, thanks guys. Now I won't be able to do my ninja-ing and I'm totally gonna fail Cloud on the next mission. Oh. He's yelling for me to go on the mission. I will continue this remarkable journey of how Vincent Valentine and I fell in love, another day. Soon. Probably when I come back.

Looks like you'll have to review while I'm gone, now won't you?

NINJA PRYDE!

LUUUVV,
Yuffie KISARAGI -insert smiley face here-

SO HOW DID YOU LIKE IT? HEHE THERE'S CHAPTER ONE… I hope you enjoyed the first part of this oneshot, I really liked writing it. Actually, its 4 in the morning right now, I'm getting tired… not to mention it's freezing in my room. Hehe. REVIEW PLEASE! I'm aiming for fifteen or more reviews for this one. If I can manage. I'll finish it soon - when I get my 'motivation' -hinthint-