Title: Kiss for the Iron Bat
Movie(s): Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, Batman (Nolan-verse), Ironman (movieverse)
Pairings: Harry/Perry, Bruce/Tony, Bruce/Harry, Tony/Perry
Genre: Romance, Humor ?
Rating: NC-17 to be safe
Warnings: SLASH, Crossover, sap, guys kissing, OOCness maybe...

A/N: I didn't know where to put this, but since Harry's the one telling the story I consider it to be the main movie. To my knowledge this hasn't been done yet. If I'm wrong point me to the others so I can read them! I've been writing lots of Bruce Wayne/ Tony Stark stuff lately because they're one of those rare pairings that shouldn't be rare at all but I got stuck writing the next part to my other Bruce/Tony fic I just posted, so I went back to this one that I'd actually started first. I hope you like it.

So I bet you're sitting there thinking, yeah, I saw this coming. Harry Lockheart turning gay for his gay partner that he works/lives with because his little dream girl isn't who he thought she was. Well that's bullshit. I wasn't gay for Perry. Actually I wasn't gay for anyone until I was, even then it was for the money and fame.

No actually it was for the look on Perry's face. Totally worth that by the way.

Fuck you know what? I was gay for Perry, but like I wasn't good enough for him. Perry's type is all class and muscle which, big surprise, I'm not. So when a billionaire playboy asked me to marry him…

Ok let me stop right there. You're probably wondering how I met up with a billionaire. Well I was at another one of those LA parties, because apparently that's where Perry gets most of his business from. He was chatting up some cute girls about shoes or whatever bullshit that Perry talks to girls about and I was staked out at the bar, because it's the only place Perry thinks I'm safe at.

That's how I met him. Only I didn't really meet him so much as he met me.

"You didn't tell me you were going to be here."

I was in mid-sip of a rare glass of scotch, so turned around to see him staring at me. My first thought is wow he looks familiar but I was buzzed and that's as far as the thought went, "Excuse me?"

His eyes narrow, "What happened to your beard?"

"Look, I think you have me confused with someone else," I said because really, no one knows me at these parties unless they're high and/or drunk. Of course people like that know everyone. My point is he didn't look either. Plus I'd never had a beard.

"I think I know you when I see you Stark," he sounded mad.

"Stark?" I remember one time few years back one of my dates had told me I looked like this Tony Stark guy, only younger and dumber, the later by a lot, because apparently he's like a fucking technology genius or some bullshit like that. Oh and he's apparently the Iron Man too. "Tony Stark?"

He's frowning at me more and I can't tell by his face if he's starting to guess I'm really not the guy he thinks I am or if he thinks I'm still trying to fool him.

"Look Mr.-"

"Hey everyone look! Iron Man's on TV!"

The guy and I turn to look at the television hanging at the far end of the bar to see the bright red and gold superhero taking on a huge robot. People are clapping and cheering loudly.

"See! Not Stark!" I also make sure he sees my stub of a finger on my left hand so there's no doubt.

The man pulls his head back, "My apologies Mr.?"

"Lockheart. Harry Lockheart."

"Mr. Lockheart. Are you here with someone?"

"My boss," I say looking into my drink because now he's going to ask who that is and after someone thinks you're Tony Stark you really don't want to tell them you work for Gay Perry.

His eyes wander over the crowd, before coming back to him, "Mr. Van Shirke?"

"How'd you-"

"He's watching you very closely."

"He thinks I'm an idiot that can't handle going to the store alone. That and he's afraid I'll do something stupid and embarrass him. And how do you know Perry?"

The man eyes me for a moment before looking over at where Perry is, I guess, "I come out to L.A. often. Are you two together?"

I know what he means. Everyone asks me that, but never Perry because he's fucking scary about shit like that, "No," and I don't sound pissed off. Really. But I guess to his ears I do.

"Mr. Lockheart would you be interested in doing me a favor?"

"What?"

"Marry me."

So I spat my drink out just slightly to his right, spraying him with a fine mist, "What?!"

"Idiot! You did NOT just spit liquor on Bruce Wayne!"

I turned to look at the 'guy' I'd been talking to and realized two things. That Perry was right, I'd been talking to the Prince, no King of Gotham City for about 10 minutes and didn't realize it. The second thing I realized was that he had seriously just asked me to marry him.

I think I fainted. Blacked out. Whatever, I'm not sure, but the next thing I know it's morning and I'm laying on silk sheets, which means I'm in Perry's bed, but then after looking around I realize that this can't be Perry's room because it's too big and the walls aren't plumb colored. And before you say anything about me calling it plumb colored, I had to paint it so I know.

"Ah you're awake."

Perry doesn't have a British butler either because if he had I wouldn't have to wash dishes, "Where the fuck am I?"

"You're at Master Wayne's penthouse, sir, in Gotham City."

"Gotham?" Only people like Bruce Wayne would fly out to a party on the west coast and then fly back for work the next day.

"Master Wayne is away at the moment. He'll be back from the office in a few hours I imagine."

"Where's Perry?"

"Who, sir?"

"My boss? He and I and…Wayne were at a party last night. In L.A."

"Master Wayne brought you in last night and you alone. I haven't any idea where your boss is."

"Can I have a phone then?"

"I'm afraid not sir. Master Wayne said you weren't to talk to anyone but me until he returns."

"Wonderful."

"Yes," he sounds actually happy, which is weird because why would anyone be happy about finding out the man they work for is gay.

"If you knew half the things about Master Wayne that I do, you'd see that this is a step toward normal life, not away from it."

Damn. I need to stop thinking aloud.

"Yes. Now would sir like me to draw you a bath?"

"I have a name," I yell from the bed because the butler's already gone off into what I can only guess is the master bathroom. "It's Harry Lockheart."

"And you may call me Alfred, Master Harold," he calls back cheerfully.

I sigh.

I wake up later to find Wayne sitting on my bed, wet like he's just taken a shower. It's 3 in the morning. Fuck I can sleep!

"You're awake. Alfred said you were up earlier while I was out but I was starting to think that-"

"Where's Perry?"

"Working the case I put him on I imagine."

"You hired Perry? YOU hired Perry?"

"Actually I bought his company."

"So you're my boss now? Because I work for Perry and if Perry works for you-"

"You're not here because you work for me Harry. If you want to go back, I'll put you on a plane in a second…and we can be done."

"Why AM I here?"

Wayne frowned, "I told you that last night."

"What? That you wanted me to marry you? I didn't agree to that by the way!"

"No you fainted."

"And Perry let you kidnap me!"

Bruce smiled, "If it makes you feel any better, he wasn't happy about that."

I try to fight of the ridiculous smile that tries to show itself, "Really?"

Wayne chuckles, "Yes. He has a very good right hook."

I noticed that Wayne was sporting a bruise on his jaw and I grinned, "Gay Perry punched YOU? Over me?"

"He's rather fond of you," Bruce smiles.

I blushed. Yeah I had it bad, but then I sobered up, "I'm still here though so…not fond enough it seems."

Bruce shrugged, "I wouldn't know, but there's one way to find out."

I gave him a pissed off look.

"I didn't tell him what I asked you. If you want to see if he is 'fond enough' of you, then get engaged to me. If he is, he'll try and stop you. If he isn't-"

"You're doing the same thing to get Stark!" I blurt out.

"Tony Stark is…" Bruce looked pained.

"He's a super hero that you can't win over by money or anything else that's ever worked before to get whoever you want. So since I look like him you're settling for me. What happens if he like, I don't know, notices you have a boyfriend that looks just like him?"

"Then we'll go from there," Bruce shrugs.

"What happens if neither Stark or Perry-"

"Then you can marry me or go back to LA. Your choice Harry."

So that's how I became Bruce Wayne's guy because no matter what any guy tells you, he'd totally pretend to be gay if he got to live like Bruce Wayne, but the story doesn't end there. I have to get Perry and now you're thinking why would I want to leave a guy like Wayne to be gay with a guy like Perry? I don't know. Why do you buy a different flavor of gum when your favorite is sitting right beside it? Answer is, I just wanted Perry.

"What the fuck are you thinking Harry?!"

Wayne made an announcement today that he was engaged and that in a few weeks he was going to introduce me to the world. Perry of course caught on in like two seconds, I don't know how, and somehow got the number for the penthouse.

"I'm think I need to get an off white tux…What's that color? Eggshell? Is that a cold white or a warm white?"

"You can't fucking marry Bruce Wayne!"

I frown, "I think I can. He asked me to. It looks cold to me. I want a warm white."

"Oh so you'd marry anyone that asked you?!"

I cover my mouth so the bubbling half laugh doesn't escape. "Maybe," I say seriously.

"Of ALL the idiot things to do Harry, this one-"

"Look. Harmony's got some big shot guy and no one else wants me. You can't honestly tell me that if he hadn't asked you to marry him, you'd have turned him down."

"Yes I would have!"

"No you wouldn't have," I sing-song to him.

"Yes I-"

"Alright you couldn't stop him then. He'd have you like he got me. In fact he does have you too because he owns you. You work for Wayne hence you couldn't say no either."

"That's not the same as marrying him!"

"Yes it is," I correct flipping through a tux catalog Alfred hands me as he passes by.

You could hear Perry sizzle.

I love this, "So are you going to help me with this wedding thing or not?"

"Can't Wayne get you some wedding planners?"

"Well yeah but I still have to pick stuff out," I adjust the phone as Bruce walks past, and smile at him.

"I'm busy Harry. Some of us have to work."

I look up at Bruce who's seated himself on the back of the couch and is watching me with an amused look, "I'm sure I could talk your boss into giving you some time off. Huh Bruce?"

He shrugs, "Sure."

"Bruce says you can take the day off, Perry," I say smiling.

"…"

"Perry?"

"Look tell Wayne that I have a lead on his case. I have to go Harry," and then the line goes silent.

I pull the phone away, "He says he has a lead on your case."

Bruce's amusement turns into a grin, "Good."

"And then he hung up on me."

"Even better."

"How is that good?"

Bruce gets up, hands going into his pockets as he walks off, "He's jealous."

A few weeks later Bruce takes me out some high fancy to do party. I've grown a beard, which looks surprisingly good on me and gotten used to wearing sunglasses at night. He has me wearing an expensive suit and I can feel the weight of his hand in the small of my back through the material.

"Bruce is that Tony Stark?" an older woman asks.

"No. This is Harry Lockheart, my fiancée."

The woman gasps and holds a hand against her heart, "Your fiancée? Bruce-"

"Yes. My fiancée," he uses his hand to guide me closer to his side so we're hip to hip. I'm so nervous I'm shaking. I'm actually glad I can feel his hand because I think it's the only think keeping me from passing out again. "He hasn't picked out his ring yet but he's working on it."

"But Bruce!" The woman says loudly, "He's a man!"

"And I love him," Bruce says back louder than he has to.

Everyone in the room turns toward us.

"Yes I'm in love with a man," Bruce says looking around the room at everyone. "If that bothers you then you aren't worth my time."

"Is that Tony Stark?" Someone asks from the crowd.

"No. He's not Tony Stark. His name is Harry Lockheart."

"I've never heard of him," someone else says.

Bruce nudges me and glances out over the crowd.

"I'm not from Gotham," I say, my voice shaking.

"He sort of sounds like Tony Stark too," the same guy from before mutters.

"Well I'm not Tony Stark!" I shout angrily for no reason. "I'm Harry."

A younger man steps forward, "Mr. Lockheart I'm with the Gotham Gazette. I have a few questions for you and Mr. Wayne if you don't mind?"

And just like that all the other reporters in the room surge forward.

"Relax Harry," Bruce whispers hotly into my ear. He presses a kiss to my temple and I close my eyes against the four million flashes that go off.

But I do relax.

The phone's ringing loudly in my ear which means Alfred must be out running errands. I grab it and drag the hand set over the bed to my ear, "What?"

"Who is this?"

"Harry," I groan into the phone, "Who's this?"

"Tony. Stark."

I sigh, "Oh hi. Nice to meet you."

"Where's Wayne?"

I rub my face with my left hand, "I don't know."

I hear him take a drink of something, ice hitting the sides of a glass, "Are you drunk?"

"Are you?" I snap and I hang up on him.

Later I wake up to a hand rubbing my back and I look up to see Bruce smiling down at me, "What?"

"I got a call from Tony today while I was at work. He doesn't like you."

I groan, "Sorry."

Bruce laughs, "He's not supposed to like you Harry, but I can't believe that you, someone who could hardly speak last night to a few reporters, can hang up on Tony Stark."

"He was loud. I was hungover."

"He was drunk when he called me."

I smiled slightly, "Wedding called off yet?"

When Bruce doesn't answer I crack an eye to look up at him and he's frowning at me slightly.

"What?"

"Nothing," he says, but his hand his gone from my back.

I roll over so I can really look at him and then something occurs to me, "You like me."

"Yeah," he mutters turning his head away.

"But you like Stark more," I'm getting nervous, "right?"

He refuses to say anything, but I know what he's thinking. Tony was a long shot to start with and I'm here letting him touch me, standing beside him.

I lean forward and grab his hand because I'm an idiot like that. Perry's a long shot too, "Okay."

"Harry don't-"

"I'm not," I promise him with a half sad smile, "You said I could either marry you or go back. Gotham's growing on me."

He's turning my hand over in his own, "But am I?"

I search his eyes before I raise my other hand and pull his head toward my own, kissing him softly, "Like a fungus."

I don't see much of Bruce for the next few days because Batman's warned everyone to stay where they are because the Joker's on the loose. It occurs to me then, that Bruce lives in a weird fucking town when a clown can cause this much trouble. Then I see film of the guy on the news. You couldn't make me leave the penthouse.

Alfred tells me that Bruce made it to Wayne Tower before all hell broke out but I can't talk to him because communications are restricted inside the city.

While he's out Stark keeps calling.

"Bruce home?"

I sigh, "No Stark. Bruce isn't home."

"Have you shaved yet?"

I look at the phone, "What?!"

"You look too much like me. It's weird. Shave."

"Uh no."

"It's my registered look. You owe me royalties."

Then I get this terrible idea, "Bruce'll pay for them. He likes me looking like this. Turns him on."

Stark's in shock, I can tell.

"You know," I growl into the phone because this is the 5th call today and I'm getting tired, "I think it's more than me just looking like you that's the problem. It's me with Wayne."

"What?"

"That's what you're so fucking pissed about isn't it? I look like you and I'm with him and you see it as you. Well you want my place? Come and get it Starky."

He slurs something into the phone that sounds like, 'shut up' but I can't be sure. So I hang up on him again.

I don't wake up later to find Bruce has snuck into bed with me, but I know he's home. He'd been doing that lately, sneaking into the bed I'm sleeping in, fully clothed and cuddling up against my back. I missed it while he's been away. I'm pretty sure he thinks I get mad at him for being gone at night sometimes when things at work come up, which is sort of stupid because it's not his fault. Ok it is, but I don't get mad at him.

Any way I don't find him in bed with me so at first I think that maybe he just hasn't made it to my room yet, but then Alfred comes into the room looking pale.

"Fuck," I mutter grabbing a robe and pulling it on.

"He's resting Master Harold," Alfred says as he leads me down the hall into one of the guest rooms. "He's in a bad way though I'm afraid."

It's happened before, Alfred says. One last bad guy does some little bit of evil and Bruce gets caught in it. Only this time, "Jesus! Was he helping Batman or something?"

Alfred grimaces, "Apparently an argument broke out while everyone was cooped up in Wayne Tower sir. Master Bruce tried to break it up and got caught in the middle of it."

"He should be in the hospital!" I look over his black and blue face and bloody wrapped chest and realize, I've never seen Bruce without clothes on. There are huge scares all over his arms and chest. All different shapes and sizes.

"He insisted on coming home. He says there are worse off people than him that need care and if he goes to the hospital, the doctors and nurses will only fuss over him and no one else."

"Do I want to know," I ask softly sitting down on the edge of the bed, "where these other scars came from?"

"Surfing off the coast, rock climbing…I believe a few are from explosions at work."

I point to one that's almost covered with bandages, "That's a gunshot wound. "

Alfred sighs, "Master Wayne was gone for 7 years around the world. He never speaks what happened to him while he was away but I believe that injury was there when he came back."

I look at him, pale and all but dead. The only thing I can see is Perry, all I can taste is blood and I close my eyes.

"I want to get married as soon as you're better," I tell Bruce as soon as I think he can handle hearing it.

He stops eating and stares at me, "You're sure?"

I nod, trying not to cry, because when I look at him I still see Perry laying on the street.

"Harry," he says softly, eyes wandering over my face, "I'm fine."

"Yeah well. Next time you might not be," I give him a serious half smile.

"And that makes you want to marry me?"

"Yeah," I say because no it really doesn't. It makes me want to run back to California and check on Perry and burry my head into his chest and just…lose it.

"Alright." He knows I'm lying.

It takes all of three days to get everything ready. A lot of it's just stock stuff, but it's all fit for a King. Our rings are simple, Platinum with a single thin gold stripe in the center. We decided against a church so Bruce found a fancy ballroom, that looked vaguely greek. I smiled and gave him a peck on the cheek after he showed me around.

I even got a warm off-white colored tux. Bruce picked out something in a warm black to match.

But even as I look at myself in the mirror-

Harmony smiles at me, "You look good Harry."

So my dream girl's here, helping me get ready for my gay wedding. Laugh it up. I like to really feel the weight of my mistakes as I make them, "Yeah. Almost straight huh?"

"Well asking me to be your bridesmaid really shoots that theory to hell, Harry." Her dress matches my suit. She looks beautiful.

"I asked Perry first," I defend because yeah I wanted him there close enough to, object and grab me and tell Bruce to fuck off, even if he wouldn't but he'd been ignoring my call for a while now so fat chance of that happening.

She goes quiet for a minute looking at me, "You know I thought you two would end up together."

And that's what breaks me. I flop down in the nearest chair and just cry. Because yeah I thought we would too.

"Harry?!"

"I don't want to marry Wayne," I say through my teeth, tears pouring down my face, "Perry was supposed to come and call me an idiot and stop me from doing this."

"What?!" Harmony snaps. "God Harry! You agreed to marry Bruce Wayne to make Perry jealous?!"

"And now I have to marry him because I like him, well, enough, and Perry doesn't like me and Stark won't come and take Wayne for himself-"

"Tony Stark?! God! Is he in this too?"

I nod. I'm worn out but the tears don't stop. I'm such a fucking girl.

"Harry," she grabbed my face and made me look at her, "tell me everything right now."

So I told her the about the party and about Wayne and about how Wayne bought Perry's company. I even told her about Stark's many phone calls and Wayne's scars. I know I need to shut up, but I can't and when I finally do I never want to talk again which is saying something.

"Well that explains a lot," She says, hands on her hips, "You want to know why Perry's not here?"

"No," because then I'll want to forgive him.

"You know that case Wayne put him on? It was to stake out Stark. Perry thinks that Wayne only wants to marry you because you look like him and that you're so gullible that he's managed to make you think otherwise. That's why he just dropped me off and is coming to pick me up la-"

"Perry's in Gotham?" I ask.

"Duh Harry! He loves you! He couldn't stand to watch you get married to Bruce, but he couldn't stay away either when you asked him to come."

"Wait," I ask, "Where's Stark?"

"What? Why do you care-"

"Because Perry might love me but he's not going to just up and drop a case. Is Stark in Gotham?"

"Yeah," Harmony frowned, "Perry said he was at a board of directors meeting in New York but he likes the night life here better so-"

I jump up and run out of the room to the front of the building, where Bruce was supposed to be greeting guests. If I'm right –

"This is a nice place Wayne. I'm sure your little groom to be thinks it's heavenly."

I come out of the hall and see Bruce and Tony staring each other down just outside the door.

"Tony," he says, "I don't remember inviting-"

"Kid looks just like me, little younger maybe."

Bruce says nothing, but squints against the flashes of the cameras.

"You know Wayne, if you wanted me you could have just said so."

"Who said I wanted you? I like Harry."

Tony stepped into his personal space, "The fuck you like Harry. I caught his ex boyfriend staking out my place and I'd have to say," Tony smirks, "I enjoyed catching him. " He turns and looks at me, "He didn't mind it either by the way."

My fists tighten.

"You slept with-" Bruce sounds shocked but I don't see why. Fucking is the guy's middle name.

"Yeah," Tony says still staring at me, "figured I owed Harry one."

I'd punch him but the look of disgust Bruce is giving Tony is more damaging. And I fight for shit, "Well Wayne," I turn my eyes toward Bruce, "I guess this is where the game ends."

Tony blinks, "Game?"

It takes about 3 seconds for Bruce to catch on, "Yeah. Thanks Harry. I owe you one. I believe Perry is in Gotham Park."

"Game?!" Tony demands as I brush past him.

"Yeah," I snap turning around to face him, "Bruce always wanted you. That's why all of this," I waved my hand around, before taking off my engagement ring and pressing it into Wayne's hand, "And for the record Stark. You didn't owe me anything." I waved a hand in the air between myself and Bruce, "We never did anything , because we didn't want each other." I start to walk off but turn back around , "And Perry never was my boyfriend, because he likes guys like you better, so," I shrug and turn my back on him.

I think Harmony yells after me but I don't care. I'm going to Gotham Park, because even if Perry's not there it's a good place to start. Perry likes parks and those little coffee shops that pop up around them. So I'm not surprised to actually find him at one of those instead of in the actual park, that looks sort of spooky any way.

"Coffee any good?" I know I look stupid standing there with my hands in my pockets wearing a tux that probably cost more than this place makes in a day, but I don't care because Perry looks like shit and he never looks like shit.

"What the fuck are you doing here?"

"Uh talking to you. "

Perry waves back down the street, "Don't you have a wedding?"

"Yeah about that," I sniff, "You were right. I can't just marry Bruce Wayne because he's rich, and a good kisser...and a beast in bed..."

"Harry shut the fuck up."

"No! You slept with Tony Stark! I deserve this! You owe me!" I yell at him because yeah, that pisses me off. Perry'll sleep with Stark but not me.

"Dickhead I don't owe you anything!" He's on his feet glaring at me," You're going to marry Wayne! How many times did you fuck him?!"

"I didn't," I counter bitterly, standing up so I'm as tall as I'm going to get. "And I was going to marry Wayne."

"You just said-"

I snort, "I tried okay, but I kinda have this thing for my boss slash roommate who SLEPT WITH TONY STARK!! Yeah we made out, and we slept in the same bed but that was fucking it!"

Perry blinks at me, his face going slack, "You didn't ?"

"No! Because you were supposed to come to the wedding and object and be all fucking romantic about it."

Perry's still blinking at me like I'm not speaking the same language he is.

"Or Stark was. One of you was supposed to get the fucking clue and get all jealous and save us from ourselves."

"Who's idiot idea was that?!" Perry snaps. It figures a stupid idea would wake him up.

"Wayne's!"

Perry looks pissed for all of 2 seconds before he surges forward and wraps his arms around me, "Fucking idiot!"

I sigh, because yeah, Perry's about a hair away from sobbing big gay tears but he smells really good. He's warm too, and solid. God I missed him.

"Don't you ever fucking do anything like this again!" He says into my ear, squeezing me too hard, the railing is digging into my stomach painfully.

"You slept with Tony Stark," I mumble, turning my head to lay it on his shoulder.

Perry pulls back, and gives me a slightly disgusted look, "He looks like you…but older."

I close my eyes and laugh.

Finally Perry lets go of me long enough to drop some cash on his table and then come around to the other side of the railing and wrap his arm around my waist. Yeah it's weird and a few people are looking at us funny, but I'm pretty sure it's because Perry's in old worn jeans and I'm in a fucking white tux. We make it back to the building the wedding was supposed to be in and the first thing I notice is Stark seated on the ground just outside the door, hands buried in his hair. All the reporters are gone and so are the guests.

"Uh is Bruce-"

Tony snaps his head up and glares at me completely ignoring Perry, "You win. Call off the dogs."

I didn't want to help him. Stark was a complete ass, but Bruce liked him so he couldn't be all bad, "I'll see what I can do."

Perry frowns and holds onto me, "No."

"Bruce deserves to be happy and if this guy makes him happy," I turn back to Stark who seems miserable, "Besides…I can't say that if I was him," I look back at Perry, "I wouldn't have done the same things he did."

"Fine. You have thirty seconds."

I shove him lightly, "Five minutes." I start walking into the building but turn around and walk backwards a few steps and give Perry a wink, "I'll thrill you later."

Bruce isn't hard to find. He's sitting in one of the chairs in the middle of the room we were supposed to get married in. I moved down the row and take the seat next to his.

"Find him?"

"Yeah," I smile as I say it.

Bruce looks at me and the side of his mouth quirks up, "Good."

"Stark's sitting outside." I know Bruce knows that but I don't have anything else to say.

"He can stay there."

"You don't mean that," I say looking at him.

"I do," Bruce coldly looks back at me.

I stare at him.

"He slept with-"

"I know what he did, but I'm not mad. Fuck Bruce, we almos-"

"That would have been different," Bruce sounds angry.

"No. It's not. It's the same and I can't really blame him because I would have done the same thing."

Bruce turns back to me, his face almost thoughtful.

"And you would have too."

"No I-"

I hold up a hand to stop him, "Ok no. You wouldn't have, but you're a better man than either of us. We're weak Bruce. I couldn't just tell Perry how I felt and Stark couldn't just tell you, so we both did fucked up things to get us to where we are now. Perry forgives me though."

"He slept with Stark," Bruce growls.

I frown, because that's totally my line and Stark did that to piss me off but it looks like it made Wayne jealous, "Yeah, and you almost married me."

Bruce eyes me for a moment before sighing, "How's he look?"

"Like shit," I lightly slap him on the back of his right shoulder, "Like Perry and that should count for something because? Yeah neither of them ever looks like shit and they look like that over us. That's a win."

"You are weird Harry," Bruce says getting to his feet.

I smile, "Well you almost married me so what's that say about you?"

Bruce and I come back out with time to spare and Perry latches onto me as soon as I'm far enough out the door.

"You're grabby," I say to Perry who snorts, looking me in the eyes. Oh he's got it bad.

I look over at Tony who's staring out across the street looking all kinds of messed up. I feel for the guy. I can't help it.

Bruce bats his head with one of his hands, "Come on Stark."

"Why?" He asks.

"Because I have scotch back at my penthouse."

Tony looks up at him.

"It's the expensive kind, if you're wondering."

The older man looks at Bruce for a long moment before looking at me and Perry, "I'm sorry."

Perry holds me tighter to his side and lifts his head in defiance.

I roll my eyes, "It's fine Stark."

"Tony," he corrects looking at me.

Something in his face makes Perry relax his hold on me slightly and I wonder if that's how I look when everything's fucked up.

Bruce makes a noise and holds out his hand to Stark and waits.

Finally, Stark takes it and lets Bruce pull him up. The tug's a little strong though so he lurches into Bruce's chest, Tony's hands resting on his pecks.

"Opps," Bruce says with half a smile, watching him.

For a moment Stark looks like he's going to have a panic attack but then he relaxes and lays his head on Bruce's shoulder, " Now I could use a drink."

"Ok," Bruce waves one of his hands and a limo pulls up, "We'll get married tomorrow."

"Married?!" Stark's head snaps up.

Bruce's eyes glance to me and he smiles, before look back down at shorter man, "All of Gotham is expecting it. We'll just have to explain to them your name isn't Harry."

"I-"

"No!" I point at him, "You wanted my place. No backing out."

He looks unsure but then nods, "Ok. Stark-Wayne Corps. has a ring to it."

"We're not merging our companies Tony," Bruce sighs.

"Joint projects then," his eyes widen, "Bruce?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you know Batman?"

Bruce stares at him a moment, "Get in the limo Stark."

"That's not a no!" Tony says as he gets in.

Bruce shakes his head at me and gets into the limo with him, "I'll be in touch."

I laugh and tug on Perry's arm, "Let's go find Harmony and go home."

"She's at the hotel," Perry says, "where we're going to stay tonight. Then we'll go home."

I wonder how long it'll be before he starts treating me like he used to again. It's not that I mind love-dovey Perry, but it's not him. "Only if you stop acting like a girl. Fuck Perry, where's the guy that smacked me in the head with a case?"

He rolls his eyes and forces me down the street, "Trying not to beat the shit out of you for doing something so stupid."

I wave back over my shoulder at the limo, "That's better."

"Oh and Harry?"

"Hmm?"

"You're going to fucking shave when we get there. You look ridiculous."

A/N: And that's the end. Yeah bad I know...but I had to end it. So review if you want. I'll know if you people like it by reader traffic...thanks for stopping by!