Went to the Islanders home opener (w00t! We're beasts!) and this just popped into my head. I apologize.

Warnings: slash, suggestive themes, misuse of beloved winter sports

Disclaimer: Not owning.

Maybe it was the way the men slammed each other against walls or the way the goalie stretched. Sora didn't understand it, and he really didn't care. All he knew was he couldn't sit through an entire hockey game. Why couldn't he sit through all three periods?

He always found himself immensily turned on.

This little fact embarrassed Sora greatly. He grew up in Canada for God's sakes! He couldn't even think about the national pastime without getting all hot and bothered.

Now, when Riku suggested that their group all go to the home-opener, Sora really couldn't be mad at him. Riku didn't know that Sora had a slightly perverse mind. Sora attempted to beg his way out of it. Riku was having none of that.

Sora found himself sitting five rows from the ice. He silented cursed whatever diety was listening, trying not to pay attention to the game. Sora had excused himself to the "bathroom" six times already, and the first period wasn't even over yet.

A bulky, uniformed player was slammed against the plexiglass right in front of them. Sora surpressed a wimper and crossed his legs.

The player doing the pushing ground into the player agisnt the wall.

"I have to go to the bathroom."

Sora sprinted up the stairs, running passed the ridiculously long women's line, and jogging into the men's room. He locked himself in the handicap stall and paced.

"Naked nuns, Cid in a bikini, boobs, my brother fucking Axel. Ugh!"

"Are we playing the disturbing imagery game?" Riku's voice called through the door. Sora stared at it wide eyed. Riku's head popped under the door, and he slid the rest of the way through. "I hope you realize what a huge sacrifice this is. My hair touched the restroom floor."

"Riku, get out! I'm going to the bathroom," Sora said, standing three feet from the toilet with his belt buckled tightly. Riku smirked.

"Yeah, okay. And you don't think hockey is super hot."

Sora gaped and spluttered. Riku waved him off.

"Don't bother. It's so apparent even Selphie had noticed."

Sora pouted.

Riku's smirk grew.

Sora was shoved into a wall, stretched like a goalie, and put Riku in his penalty box for high sticking.

Sora always did love hockey.

Tell me what you think. Reviews are love, flames are welcome.

Because Hockey Is A Sport For The Perverse,

With a side of stereotype