Title: Mikey, the Mystic Master

Author: Stormy1x2

Warnings: Humor, AU from S4's "Good Genes, part 2", Elemental Mystic OC'ness.

Word Count: 2252

Notes: Written purely for fun. Don't attempt to take it seriously – your brain may break. Done for LJ's fanfic100 community, prompt #52: Fire.

Summary: After the Mystics tricked Bishop into destroying the amulet that gave Karai control over them, the Mystics choose a new Master.

Mikey, the Mystic Master

Leo knew they were in for a long day when the Shredder's four Elemental Mystics appeared in the middle of their kitchen that morning, hovering over the Chocolate Wheaties.

His brothers, naturally, responded in true ninja fashion – Raph choked on his toast and turned the same shade of blue as Leo's bandanna, Donatello dropped the transistor radio he was attempting to fix, scattering the pieces all over the living room, never to be seen again, and Mikey screamed like a little girl, diving for cover under the kitchen table. As for himself, Leonardo reached for swords that were unfortunately still in the dojo, and had to scrabble for anything that could be used as a weapon. He wound up brandishing a pair of butter knives at the Mystics and cursed them silently for their early appearance.

Leonardo was not a morning person.

"What are you doing here?" he demanded, scowling as threateningly as he could with blunt kitchen utensils in his grasp. "What do you want?"

"We have come to serve our Master," one of the Mystics replied calmly. It was the metal one, the apparent leader of the quintet. "We are free from Karai's control, and have chosen our new Master."

"Me?" Leonardo fairly squeaked.

The Metal Elemental frowned. "Not you," he said peevishly. "The one they call, Michaelangelo."

Leo's eyes widened. "Mikey?"

"I knew it," came a choking gasp from Raphael, who had managed to dislodge the toast in his throat with Donatello's Heimlich help. "It's all Mikey's fault."

Obviously there needed to be some sort of explanation, and the turtles herded their 'guests' into the living room, weapons at the ready (once Leo had discretely made a run for the dojo to retrieve his swords and discard of the butter knives). The Mystics seemed amused at their attempts to appear threatening.

"What do you mean, Michaelangelo is your leader?" Leonardo asked.

"A better question would be why the heck did you choose him?" Raphael snorted.

"Where's the cat?" one of the Mystics asked eagerly, looking around the lair. His request seemed to throw everyone off guard.

"Cat?" Leonardo blinked at the non-sequitur.

Mikey scowled. "Are they talking about Klunk? Why are you talking about Klunk?" Mikey snapped off a few impressive rounds with his nunchakus before tucking them under his arms in a ready position. "I won't let you hurt my – KLUNK?!"

As Mikey was making his brave statement, the cat in question appeared in the lair, padding calmly over to the Elemental that looked like it was made of wood. The Elemental made a sound that Leo was astonished to realize was pure glee, and swooped down on the animal, scooping it up carefully and cuddling it close. In return, Klunk was purring so loudly it sounded like a lawn mower going off in the lair.

Leo watched the Metal Elemental heave his shoulders and sigh loudly. "Earth..."

"Sorry!" The Elemental – Earth – said contritely, and reluctantly set the animal down. Klunk pushed against the Elemental's legs – the bits he could reach as they were still floating – and continued to purr with contentment.

Leo raised his eyes back to meet the Metal Elemental as if to say, 'well?'

Metal shrugged. "Earth likes animals," he said resignedly.

"Okay then." Leonardo seriously felt this day could not get any weirder. "Would you mind answering the question?"

"We have chosen Michaelangelo to be our new master," Air said calmly. He was swaying back and forth in a breeze only he could apparently feel. "I really do not understand what is so difficult to comprehend about that statement."

"Why?" Raph repeated, with an edge in his voice that was one part anger, and one part hysteria.

"We had to have someone," the Fire Elemental spoke up. He was juggling small fireballs in his hand. "He was the one we agreed on."

"You said you broke free from Karai's control," Donatello said suddenly. "How did you do that?"

"That amulet you stole from Karai and surrendered to Agent Bishop was the only thing that could control us," Metal explained. "We appeared before Bishop in his mind and made him think we were an alien entity patching into one of his secure frequencies. We were the ones who told him to retrieve the amulet, and he sent you four to do it. Once it was in his hands, we told his underling, the one you know as Baxter Stockman, to set their lasers for a frequency that would shatter it. Once it was destroyed, the power to control us through it was gone forever."

"So absolute control over you and your powers no longer exists for anyone," Donatello murmured. His eyes were shining. "Fascinating."

"Indeed. And now we serve you." As one, the five Mystics turned and bowed to Michaelangelo. "Master."

Mikey squeaked and backed away, hands up. "Wait a minute, I didn't ask to be anyone's Master!"

"We chose you," Air said in that same, calm, matter-of-fact tone.

"Deal with it," Fire advised in a sotto voice, patting the ninja on the shoulder.

"But the amulet's broken," Mikey objected weakly. "Doesn't that mean you guys are free to wreak havoc and destruction and infinite amounts of chaos?"

The Mystics looked at each other, and then shrugged as one. Metal stepped forward, his arms folded and his helmet tilted to the side as though he were considering Mikey's question with care. "Well, see, we were originally created to serve," he said, stressing the word. "The amulet was a way of keeping us under control of whomsoever held it. With the destruction of the amulet, we are free to choose whom we wish to serve."

"And we choose the kitty—I mean, you!" Earth chirped, petting the happily purring Klunk.

The turtles exchanged confused looks. Leonardo cleared his throat. "Why Mikey? I would have thought you would prefer to serve your original Master's descendants. Why choose the enemy of your Master?"

"Karai's an idiot," scoffed Fire, snorting flames through his nose to show his disdain.

"Even if she does look delicious in the shower," drooled Water suddenly. Everyone looked at him warily. Air smacked him in the head, making Mikey wince in sympathy, and Raph grin reluctantly in recognition. Leonardo just looked ill at the comment, while Donnie continued to look fascinated.

"Well, we had planned to resurrect our Master to serve him once again," Metal admitted, going back to Leo's original question. "But then Master Michaelangelo touched the amulet and we Saw him."

"Saw?" Donnie blinked.

"We do not always See people who touch the amulet," said Metal. "Only those with highly developed chi – or those with the potential for such powers – can trigger the Sight in us. We saw Michaelangelo's potential--"

"--and he has a cat!" Earth put in, excitedly. Air zipped over and smacked him too. "Ow!"

"--and frankly, we're tired of being ordered to kill, maim and destroy," Metal finished. "It gets very tiring after centuries of pillaging."

"We wanted something new," Fire said, slinging an arm around Mikey's shoulders. "I was all for you being our Master, you know – I saw in your memories that explosions tend to happen a lot around you four. I want in!"

"So you guys essentially adopted Mikey as your Master because you liked what you saw in him?" Donnie's fingers were twitching, like he wanted badly to be making notes. "Metal's tired of war-mongering, Fire hates Karai and loves Mikey's destructive nature--"

"Hey!" Mikey objected.

"--and Earth seems to have a crush on Mikey's cat," Donnie finished. He pointed at Water and Air. "What do you get out of this?"

The Elementals exchanged a look, and then held up their hands in resignation. "Our very nature makes us go with the flow," Water said, moving his arms and legs like a hula dancer to simulate water. Or something. After a minute of staring, his movements were starting to look vaguely suggestive. All four turtles averted their eyes.

Air shrugged and smacked Water again before answering. "In my case, it's on the breeze." He pointed at his Elemental brothers. "If they want Mikey as Master, who am I to argue? It's too much trouble. And at least this one won't be constantly whining at us to find people with our psychic powers. Nag, nag, nag, that's all Karai ever did." He shook his head. "So troublesome."

"And those visions," added Fire. "All that death, doom and misery, and not once did she let me burn a single city to ashes. Talk about being a wet blanket."

"I object to that statement," Water protested mildly.

"So anyway, we have Chosen. You cannot refuse," Metal said calmly. "Once we have made a Choice, we are bound to our Master for the duration of his life."

"'Till death do us part," Water said, winking suggestively. Raph took a step further away from the Water Elemental.

Mikey looked dangerously close to fainting. Leonardo directed Donatello to get out the smelling salts, just in case.

Having come to the conclusion that there was no way, at least at that point in time, to make the Mystics go away, the next obstacle to overcome was in the form of the other Master of the house. Splinter was less than impressed with the events of the morning.

"No."

"It's not like we have a choice here, really," Donatello said worriedly. "We can't make them go away. They're bonded to Mikey."

"No."

"Master Splinter, they have promised not to harm him, or us. Or anyone, really," Leonardo said, pleading with his sensei.

"No."

"Master Splinter, I don't get it." Raphael's brow was furrowed, like he was trying to figure out a secret no one wanted to share. "I thought you'd be happy to know Shredder's most powerful warriors switched their allegiance to us."

Splinter stared at him gravely. "That is an incorrect statement, my son."

Leonardo blinked. He was doing that a lot, lately, it seemed. "Sensei?"

Splinter clarified. "The Shredder's most powerful warriors have allied themselves to Michaelangelo."

Leonardo didn't understand. Then he thought about it carefully. His eyes suddenly widened, and he debated the pros and cons about giving in and having a shock-induced heart attack. "No."

"I don't get it." Raph threw up his hands in disgust. "What the heck are they so worried about?"

Leo grabbed Raph's bandanna tails and yanked hard. "Think about it Raph," Leonardo hissed. "Mikey now has the powers of Shredder's Mystics at his command!"

Raphael's face was blank as he digested Leonardo's words. Then he nodded once, calm and collected. "I think I'm gonna throw up."

Mikey was standing there, still shell-shocked. His eyes were wide and unseeing, and Donatello moved next to him. Leo came to his other side. "Mikey?" Leo asked hesitantly. "Are you okay?"

"Do you understand what's going on?" Donatello added worriedly.

Mikey blinked, and then slowly, a large, tooth-filled grin begin to take over his face. "Yes. Yes, I do." An unholy light shone in his dancing, blue eyes. "I have minions."

Three turtles stared at their sibling in mortal terror. Mikey cackled maniacally.

It had taken a while to calm Mikey down, and get Raph's trembling form pried down from the ceiling. Klunk had disappeared during his owner's mini-spazz-out, much to the Earth Elemental's acute disappointment.

"Are you sure there is no way to convince you of the utter HORRIFFICNESS of your decision?" Donatello asked despairingly. Mikey was still giggling in shock, unable to contribute to the discussion at the moment.

Leonardo kept patting his shell. "Calm down, Mikey," he said patiently. "Breathe in. Breathe out. Good boy."

"We are bound," Metal said imposingly. "The Bond cannot be broken except by death." The Mystics all glared at the turtles, impressive, despite their stature (or lack thereof), and intimidating. For a whole thirty seconds, anyway.

"Kitty!" shrieked Earth happily, as Klunk returned, abandoning his post as Top Right Corner Scowler to play with the kitten again.

The turtles looked from the Earth Mystic, to Metal, to Earth again, and finally back to Metal. Mikey broke free of his hysteria-induced paralysis, and jerked his thumb at the giggling Earth Mystic. "You wanna explain that?"

Metal sighed, bringing a clawed hand up to rub the side of his helmet. "Being an Earth Elemental, he feels a natural kinship with the creatures of the land." He shrugged. "We've learned to just deal with it."

"Oh, please," Earth snorted, turning from Klunk to point accusingly at the Water Mystic. "Like you haven't caught HIM cavorting with the Sea Leviathans before. That's worse than anything I've ever done."

All eyes turned to Water, who backed up, wide-eyed, hands held out in front of him. "What?"

"Cavorting with sea creatures?" Mikey frowned. "As your Master, should I be worried about this? Do you need therapy?"

Raphael shuddered at the words, 'As your Master'. "Donnie, you got those salts handy?"

"Right here."

"Don't listen to him, Master," Water said soothingly, swirling around Michaelangelo. "You all seem focused on doing the honorable thing, and I promise, everything that happened was consensual."

Donnie hit the ground with a thud. Mikey stared accusingly at his new minion. "We're gonna have to have a talk, young man," he declared.

Raph shuddered again. Splinter was repeating, "No," over and over again in a quiet but desperate tone of voice. Leonardo looked at his cowed siblings, his seemingly broken Master, and finally, at his youngest sibling lecturing an Elemental Mystic about the wrongness of bestiality.

He was beginning to regret not letting Karai destroy him like she had vowed.

End part 1

Notes: I...apologize? :D Both for this chapter and the one to follow. Next up: fun with illusions, perverted Water elementals, and learning to care for your Metal Mystic (note: rust is BAD).