Disclaimer : Dont Own Inuyasha!
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Speach Problem!
By: Izayoi Tashio 18 , with help from Ekie, my best guy friend.
(He came up with the concept)
Chapter 2 : Law Enforcement, Squirrels, And Bonding!
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Thank you to :
UnicornEva, Luna-Chan96, impulse960
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Full Summary :
Think before you speak... Here are 4 more reasons why you should think before you speak. These are sadly personal experiences myself, my mate, and our children have had. Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take the words back... or that you could crawl into a hole? These Are Kagome's Testimonials!
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FIRST
TESTIMONY:
I was at work yesterday when a gentleman came in wife and children in tow. I didn't recognize him untill he told me his name. He was a police office that usually came in, in uniform, but was in civillian clothes. Since he was not in his uniform I said to him. "Oh! I didn't recognize you with your clothes on!" It was akward because I quickly realixed what I'd said. Fumbling to explain myself his wife laughed and said. "Don't worry about it! You have no idea how many times I've heard that!" Safe to say I will never tell my mate about this!
SECOND TESTIMONY:
While eating at WacDonalds the other day my daughter was acting up. She was old enought to know better being 12 years old and all. Just being silly I said to two detectives sitting at the table across from us. "I'm leaving her here with you! Put her to work if need be."
6 years down the road a family member of ours passed away. While at the visitation the same two detectives were there. As I walked past them I said. "Thank you for coming." To which one replied. "Your welcome, do you still need us to take your daughter? Or is she being good now?" I replied. "She is being good, but you can still take her if you want to." Over hearing our conversation my mate approached us, with a straight face he stated. "Take them both, I desperately need peace and quiet. Angry I turned to him and replied. "You ain't gettin a piece of this, so be quiet." All eyes fell on me. Leaving I yelled to the heavens. "WHY DO I ALWAYS SAY THE WRONG THING??"
THIRD TESTIMONY:
While on the way to doctors office today my son said something that had me busting with laughter. As we backed out of the driveway and got to the end of the road I turned. At the side of the road was a squirrel holding a nut in his mouth. As the squirrel ran across the road infront of the car I stopped. I didn't want to hit the squirrel, he was so cute. So I waited for him to cross the road, while waiting my son said the funniest thing I had ever heard. He turned to me with excitement in his eyes and exclaimed. "Mommy look, that squirrel has his nuts in his mouth!" To add insult to injury he told everyone he saw about the 'Squirrel carring his nut's in his mouth.' The doctor, the PA, even a homeless man. But the real fireworks started when we got home, and he told his father. When we walked in the door my mate asked me how it went. I couldn't help myself, so I turned to our son and spoke. "Tell your father what we saw today honey!" His eyes lit up and excitement once again crossed his face. I had told him he couldn't tell anybody about it, it was to be our secret. Still I couldn't help myself. Jumping on his father's lap he began his story. "We went to the doctors today, you know what I saw daddy?" So my mate replied. "No son what did you see?" Flailing his arms around he finished. "A Squirrel daddy. And guess what? He was carrying his nut's in his mouth!" With that exclimation my mate began laughing so hard he fell off of his chair and hit the floor. Usually the stoic, aloof, serious one. Our son easily had him in stitches.
FOURTH TESTIMONY :
This one is kinda graphic. You have been warned
I was at a club with my friends, mate, and brother-in-law last night celebrating for the company merger we won today. I don't drink much, and alcahol has little affect on my mate. His brother is a different story, seeing as how my mate was paying for everything, he let himself nearly drownd in it. The party was going good, but he never really knows when that last drink was one too many. So we ended up having to carry him out of there. Deciding to let him crash at our place for the night, when we got there my mate dropped him harshly on the couch waking him up. As his sleep clouded eyes turned to me, and in the most serious face I had ever seen him have he asked me. "K'Gome?" To which I answered "Yes?" Turning to me he asked. "You wanna bond?" I answered "Sure why not!" Not noticing my mate standing in the doorway, his smirk crept forom ear to ear. Continuing he said. "K... I'll dip... Dip my balls in... In your mouth... You'll gag... And well both... Have a... A... A Laugh." And then promptly fell back asleep with a loud snore. Mortified, and a blush covering most of my body my mate burst into peels of laughter. I will never look at my brother- in-law the same again!
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After much deliberation I have decided to continue this. I don't know how long it will get, but I hope you enjoy!