This is what happens when my best friend and I operate spots for this show and have nothing better to do than talk about weird pairings. This is probably the most normal one.

All standard disclaimers apply.

A Little Bit Overbearing

When it all came down to it, Tony's mother was a bit overbearing. Not that Riff didn't appreciate it; it was nice to know that no matter how many times he got kicked out of his own house, Tony's mom would let him stay the night. And the next. And the next, for as long as the case may have been! And man, she could cook! Tony wasn't joking when he said she lived in the kitchen and it showed in everything from her pot roasts to her pies. No, Riff could not complain one bit about all the care and hospitality his best friend's mother showed him.

Still, it was hard not to get a little, tiny bit annoyed with her on the days when she came back from shopping early because she forgot one thing or another. Of course, her bedroom just had to be right next to Tony's and, of course, she asked the boys if they needed anything.

"No, Ma," Tony would say, trying to stay as calm as possible under the circumstances, "Me and Riff have lots of homework and if you come in it'll distract us!" Meanwhile, Riff would try to stifle a giggle, both at the obvious lie – Tony would never be an actor, that much was for sure! – and how close she was to opening to door and finding out what apparently passed for studying these days. She's find the boys sitting together, pants unbuttoned and limbs entangled, and oh god Riff would die if Tony's mom would do if she found out what Riff had done with – to was more the problem, he supposed – her son.

Then again, after she was done lecturing them about condoms and whatnot, she might make them an apple pie. That might be worth dying for.