A/N: Depending on my laptop, this will either be a quick story or one that will take forever. Altogether it's looking like 4 chapters. And: Thanks, ck!

It's so nice to be happy, Sam thought as his girlfriend giggled and lightly swatted him. Andi was sitting on the kitchen table at her house, and he was standing in front of her, feeding her spoonfuls of Cheerios. It was morning, and she looked gorgeous wearing one of her dad's oversized button shirts that she used to sleep in. Sam was wearing his t-shirt and a pair of boxers. But instead of feeding her food, he'd turn the spoon away at the last second and dive in for a kiss instead.

"Sam, stop it!" God, she was so beautiful when she laughed.

He quirked a mischievous smile as once again he captured her lips in a deep kiss. "Mmm. Breakfast tastes good today."

"You're so hot," Andi murmured as she lifted his shirt off and threw it.

"You're not so bad yourself." He grinned as the bowl of cereal joined his shirt on the floor.

They were alternating between making out and giggling when suddenly they heard a noise. Both whipped around, and the source of the noise became painfully clear.

It was Andi's mother, staring at them in shock. Her purse and luggage bag had obviously dropped heavily to the floor.

Andi screamed and dashed out of the kitchen, leaving Sam standing there alone with her mom. "Hi, Mrs. Prendergast," he said weakly.

"Hello, Sam."

"We, uh, weren't expecting you back until later."

"I took an earlier flight."

"Good, good. That's good." Sam stumbled awkwardly. He could feel himself turning bright red. Looking down, he saw his shirt lying a couple of feet away. He tried to remain casual walking over to pick it up, but knew he failed miserably. "I, uh, better go follow Andi, and uh, get dressed now. I, uh, have to be to work soon."

Mrs. Prendergast said nothing.

It was official. Hell could swallow him up whole right now. He wanted to die.

"So let me get this straight. You and Andi were about to - y'know - generate some stovetop heat without actually using the stovetop, when her mom walked in?"

"It's not funny, Sock!"

Ben sniggered. "Yeah, Sam. It really is."

Sock laid back on the lawn chair again, still laughing. They were in the stockroom at the Bench. "I'm surprised you didn't act like she did and run girlishly from the room too. It's what you usually do when you get scared by a soul."

"Shut up." Sam made a mental note to find better friends who would actually commiserate. "Man, the worst part was gathering my clothes before I could escape. I'd left most of them in the living room. It's hard to be dignified getting dressed in front of your girlfriend's mom." At the table, he slumped down into the chair next to Ben. "I swear, it was the most humiliating experience of my life."

Ben looked up in surprise. "Really, Sam? More embarrassing than that time we almost died dressed as giant condoms?"

"Or the time we were glued together with that stupid Christmas sweater when we caught that blob guy?" Sock added helpfully.

"Or the time Andi caught you playing dress up with the mannequins?"

"Oh yeah!" Sock exclaimed, while Ben nodded eagerly. "You said that was the most humiliating moment of your life too."

Sam just glared at them. "You're not helping."

"Oh, come on, Sam. It's not that bad." Still snickering, Ben tried to reassure him. "Her mom loves you. All things considered, it could have been a lot worse. It could have scared Andi off sex for life."

"Yeah, well, that may still be a very real possibility. She wants to meet me on my lunch break at some new place. I have a feeling I'll find out then." He sighed, got up, and walked over to pick up the box of new inventory he was supposed to stock. "Time to get to work, I guess. Might as well get started on these."

As soon as he picked the box up, however, it transformed into something he was pretty sure no longer contained shelving brackets. "Uh, vessel, guys."

Sock and Ben both jumped up excitedly. "Oooh, what is it this time?"

"Not sure, Ben. Kinda have to open it to see." Sam unlatched the box, and waved away the smoke. Then he reached in and pulled the object out.

Sock whined. "What? Another hair dryer? We've already had one of these!" He bellowed to the floor. "Way to be original there, Satan!"

"What do you think it means, Sam?"

"No idea, Ben. But I'm sure I'll find out soon." He sighed. "Meantime, I'd better go find the inventory lists and adjust them to account for yet another missing box before Ted finds out and goes on the warpath again. Otherwise he'll add even more video cameras, and he might finally think to cover the stockroom and break room."

All three pondered the things that happened in those areas they wouldn't want Ted to see.

"Yeah, that would be bad," Ben agreed.

As they started to walk out the swinging doors into the main part of the store, Sock suddenly stopped. "Oh! I got another one! What about the time we got stranded in the middle of the Seattle Seahawks' locker room when all the cheerleaders came in to undress?"

Sam narrowed his eyes. "Okay, now you're just making things up."

Sock looked disappointed. Wistfully, he sighed. "Damn. I was afraid that was more of dream I had than a real-life embarrassment."