3. Queens love to be teased. They think it's cute.

"Quaxo! I'm sorry! Please, Quaxo listen to me!"

Quaxo continued walking in a straight line. He didn't have a specific destination. So long as it was away from Tugger.

"Quaxo, It was Bombalurina!" Tugger explained as he caught up to Quaxo. When he didn't get any reaction from his friend, he repeated himself, "Bombalurina!"

"I heard you the first time, Tug." Quaxo replied darkly. He sighed and stopped walking."Tugger, this is going to end up killing me."

"No." Tugger replied, shaking his head slowly, "not if you do it right."

"Well I don't know how to do it right!" The young tom exploded and started walking again, "This is your life, Tug, not mine. Plato's already planning my death and-" Quaxo was silence as Tugger clamped a hand over his friends mouth.

"Look." He said and pulled out his own copy of his list. "Number 3 can't possibly hurt out at all."

"What about when Victoria kills me for telling her that her coats ugly?" Quaxo muttered as he slipped out of Tugger's grasp.

"Well you don't say it like that!" Tugger exclaimed. "It's no wonder you don't have a girlfriend if you go around telling Queens that their coats are ugly!"

"But-"

"Shush! I must train you in the art of teasing!" Tugger grabbed Quaxo's hand and dramatically leaped off the pile of trash they had been standing on.

After pulling both himself and Quaxo out of the garbage can they had fallen into, he dashed off to their little clearing, dragging a protesting Quaxo behind him.

()()()()

Quaxo lay on his stomach, his hands rested on his paws, while he watched Tugger dance around the clearing. Tug was explaining the complex ways for teasing a female, but Quaxo was having a hard time paying attention. He just couldn't see how ANY female could find this appealing, let alone seductive. Maybe the things that worked for Tugger were only for Tugger. Maybe Quaxo needed a custom made list for himself.

As Quaxo pondered this, Tugger continued on with his lesson, blissfully unaware of the lack of interest from his pupil.

"Any questions?" Tugger finally asked as he finished.

"Yeah," Quaxo responded, "if this doesn't work can we please, please give up on it?"

Tugger thought for a second. "Yeah." He eventually replied.

"Because I think that this list may work for you but-... wait... yeah?"

Tugger shrugged. "I'll be blunt. I've never seen someone fail at both of the first two tricks. Maybe you just suck at this."

"Thanks, Tug. That's just what I needed to hear." Quaxo rolled his eyes at his friend.

"Don't worry about that though." Tugger explained as he led the two of them towards the Jellicle clearing, "just focus on Victoria right now. That's all that's important."

()()()()

Quaxo watch Victoria lay in the clearing with Etcetera and Jemima. The three kittens fawned in the sun, warming their bellies and chatting idly.

Tugger grinned silently at the young tom and pointed at them. He nudged his friend in the back and Quaxo stepped out into the bright afternoon light.

Quaxo walked forward. He tried to keep his chest thrown forwards like Tugger had taught him and he cleared his throat as he came close to the other cats.

"Good afternoon, ladies." Quaxo quoted Tugger, perfectly imitating the confidence in his voice, "Victoria, you're looking rather hideous today."

The tom held his breath as he waited to see the reaction of the Queen in front of him. Victoria opened one eye lazily and chuckled darkly to herself. "Back at you, Quax. By the way, watch out for Plato. He's out for blood." the other kittens giggled as Quaxo winced but quickly regained his composure.

"You really ought to do something else with your fur, Vic," he continued on with a sly smile, "'cuz whatever you're doing now doesn't seem to really be working for you."

Both Jemima and Etcetera let out a small gasp as their mouths dropped open. Victoria just raised her eyebrows and flipped over onto the stomach. She stood up and came face to face with the tom. "And yours is so much better?" she eyed him up and down mockingly.

Quaxo smirked. "You better believe it."

A grin escaped onto Victoria's face. She crouched down and bared her teeth, "You wanna fight about it?"

Quaxo grinned and let out a small chuckle, "You're going to regret saying that."

He crouched down with her and began springing up on his hind legs.

Victoria screamed in laughter, "Quaxo, don't!" But the tom had already launched himself. He smacked into her, tackling her to the ground, careful to keep her head from getting hurt.

She shrieked, but laughter poured out of her as well. She clawed playfully at the arms that pinned her down.

"I have better fur not, don't I?" Quaxo grinned down at her.

"Yes, yes!" She squealed, trying to twist her way out of the toms arms.

"In fact, I'm just better looking overall, right?"

She giggled and nodded her head. Quaxo smiled and looked up at the other two Queens. They both stared at him with amazement written on their faces.

"Should I let her up?" Quaxo asked them with a half-grin on his face.

They nodded wordlessly and the tom groaned. "You guy's are no fun." But he let the struggling cat beneath him up anyways. She jumped up and quickly formed a circle with her friends. They grouped together and began giggling madly.

Tugger had warns Quaxo of this. He called it "Female Giggle Syndrome" or FGS and apparently all the female cats do it. It unnerved Quaxo for a moment, but he quickly remembered his training.

"I'll see you beautiful ladies later... and you too Victoria." He shot one last smile in their direction as he sauntered out of the clearing, their giggles echoing in his ears as he went.

"Niiice work, buddy." Tugger congratulated him as they met up just far enough away that Victoria couldn't see them. "I told you. The list always works."