Meddling Fangirls

Disclaimer: This is a purely fan-made piece that is using the world and characters from Masashi Kishimoto's Naruto and is made entirely for enjoyment. No financial gain has been made in the making of this piece

Summary: Since bullying doesn't seem to have any effect, Ino (and Sakura) decide to take some more direct measures to get what they want

Author's Note: Written for Kiterie's Mission Iruka Contest. I wasn't going to (really! I swear I wasn't!) but then I read something in the rules…and this came out. Possible out-of characterness

Constructive Criticism is always welcomed

Published: 10 October 2008

Rating: T

"You know, if we're going to do this regularly, we're going to need to expand our membership." Sakura pointed out as she made sure that she had enough film in her camera.

Ino got a manic look in her eyes. "Let's recruit Hinata! Imagine what she could do for this!"

"If we get Hinata, you know that we're going to have to invite TenTen, just so she doesn't feel left out."

"Whatever," Ino waved a well-manicured hand dismissively. "The more, the merrier. And the more chances we'll have to make things more interesting! Are we ready?"

"Just about. We're waiting on Lee."

"Lee? He's into this, too?"

Sakura shrugged. "I don't know. But somebody had to watch your body, and who better than Lee? He'll probably make it into some sort of challenge because he'll think it'll impress me or make him a better ninja."

"He'll talk anyone's ear off before anyone could get close to my body," Ino grumbled, miffed of not having thought of it sooner. "He'd better hurry up, or we're going to miss our first quota of the day!"

"I told him to meet us at—"

"DYNAMIC ENTERY!"

Lee skidded to a stop in front of the two girls, flashing a brilliant smile. "Good morning, Fair Ino and Lovely Sakura! I heard that you had a Youthful and Challenging Task for me and I Will Not Disappoint you! If someone has Smeared your Honour or Beauty, I shall Set Them Straight! If—"

"He's here, let's go!" Ino took off and Sakura followed, only pausing long enough to grab Lee's arm.

"Ah, we are in a Hurry!" Lee said the moment he got his feet under him. "If I had known that, I would have kept my Entrance Speech Shorter and Sweeter! I would have also Offered my services, as it would not only Get You To Your Destination Quicker, but it would have been some Very Youthful Training for me!"

"He's got a point!" Sakura yelled as she raced after Ino.

"We'll use him next time!" Ino stopped abruptly and hit the ground. Sakura barely had time to think about following when Lee caught her around the waist and had her on the ground before she knew what had happened.

Ino peeked over the hill and grinned evilly. She made a box with her first two sets of fingers and thumbs and squinted through it at her target. "Mission: Photo Come Together, commence!"

xXxXxXxXxXx

Chouji looked up from the new schedule that Asuma had made for him to see Shikamaru walking over very purposefully. "Hey."

Shikamaru only grunted slightly, which Chouji thought was weird. Usually, he got at least a return greeting before he flopped down next to him.

Now that he thought about it, Shikamaru wasn't moving the same way he normally did. There had been a definite…swagger to his walk, almost like he was trying to use his hips to their fullest extent. Generally, Shikamaru only shuffled places because it required less energy. His slouch also looked forced and not like the easy droop that often graced the Nara's shoulders.

Plus, he was crossing his legs at the ankles. When had he started doing that?

"Are…are you feeling okay?" Chouji asked tentatively.

"I'm fine."

Okay, that had sounded…perky. Chouji discreetly made the signs to dispel a genjutsu. Nothing happened. Shikamaru was still sitting next to him, ankles crossed and looking way too alert. Maybe something had happened to his best friend…? Maybe Ino made him drink coffee or something to try and 'cure' him of his laziness.

He dismissed that thought immediately. Ino wouldn't do that; her current thing to try and bully her team-mates into doing was things like holding hands and giving each other flowers and other such romantic stuff so she could get fix for boy-boy action. Shikamaru usually called her 'troublesome' and then conveniently noticed that Shino and Kiba (Ino's other favourite targets) were nearby (Chouji had the sneaking suspicion that Kurenai-sensei wasn't always coming over just to talk to Asuma-sensei any more). Kiba could generally be talked into just about anything if you used the words 'manhood', 'chicken', and 'triple-dog dare'. Shino, on the hand, refused and frequently was sending bugs to fly up Kiba and Ino's noses to get them to back off. Hinata just turned a vivid shade of red and stuttered worse.

This brought Chouji back to his original worry; if Shikamaru hadn't been bullied by Ino to ingest caffeine of some sort, then what was wrong with him?

"Nee, Chouji," Shikamaru suddenly said, "maybe you could help me."

"Of course!" Ah, that was why he was acting weird! He had a problem! And now Chouji was going to help and set the world right again. Perhaps once they got this worked out, they could go get some barbeque. "What can I do?"

"Close your eyes."

Chouji didn't even think to question the command or to argue; he simply obeyed. It was, after all, Shikamaru who asked and Chouji would do anything for him.

Chouji was completely unprepared for rough hands catching his still too-thin cheeks and lean chapped lips pressing against his. He almost jerked back and his eyes flew open.

Shikamaru didn't pull away and didn't stop kissing him. And…it wasn't bad. It was…kinda nice. Pretty nice. Very nice.

…Maybe Ino was on to something, after all.

He vaguely thought he heard the noise of a camera shutter snapping, but that wasn't all that crucial; he had his most important person kissing him.

When it finally ended, Chouji grinned a little self-consciously. He knew his face was pink and his hands were twisting his shirt, but he figured that was to be expected. It was his first kiss, after all.

Shikamaru suddenly blinked and something on his face…changed. Muscles shifted and Chouji had a sick feeling in his gut as he recognised it; this was Shikamaru and how he held his face. Before, it was almost how he held his face, but it wasn't right. It was just like…

…Just like the expression Ino put on her face when she made fun of the lazy chunin.

Chouji dropped his eyes and hated himself for being so gullible. Of course it was Ino in the Nara's body; Shikamaru would have never done that and he never would have crossed his ankles. Apparently, she was tired of waiting for them to give into her bullying and was going to take a more direct route to get what she wanted.

"I'm going to kill Ino the next time I see her." Chouji glanced out of the corner of his eye and saw real fury on his friend's face. "She had no right to mess with your emotions that!"

"I...don't. I should have known that she'd try this sooner or later." Chouji kept looking at his hands. "I just should have been prepared for—"

"Don't you go blaming yourself for this!" Strong fingers suddenly curved over Chouji's. He glanced up, surprised. "I'm going to make her kiss Kiba or a frog or something troublesome like that! See how SHE likes it! She had no right to do that to you!"

"Shikamaru…" Chouji took a deep breath. "Don't. She's got her pictures; maybe she'll stop bothering us now. Anyhow," he said, trying desperately to find the bight side of things. "It could be worse; she could have made you kiss Neji-kun or Lee."

"I would have rather kissed Neji because I don't care about Neji's feelings," Shikamaru huffed angrily. "For her to use you like that is unacceptable."

"She's using you, too." Chouji pointed out, noticing that Shikamaru hadn't let go of his hand yet and didn't seem to realise that he should be angry that Ino made him kiss the genin.

The other boy snorted. "That's different."

"How?"

"You're too nice, too kind. You won't do anything to her and she knows it. She could make the whole village kiss you and you'd forgive her." Rough fingers began to unconsciously rub the back of Chouji's hand. "She can't just go around hurting you like that just because she knows you won't retaliate."

"I…" Chouji shut his mouth when Shikamaru narrowed his eyes at him. He wanted to say that he wasn't hurt, but his friend knew him too well to let him vocalise the lie. He looked down again.

They sat in silence for a moment, Chouji berating himself and Shikamaru stewing when the Nara heaved a big sigh. "Troublesome!"

Before Chouji could blink, Shikamaru had ducked under and kissed him roughly, gawkily.

Chouji stared, feeling the flush come back hotter. Shikamaru sat back, looking defiant and embarrassed. "I won't have her between us like that again."

"…Oh." Chouji swallowed. "Um, does…does this mean…?"

Shikamaru rolled his eyes, but smiled. "Yeah, I guess so. If it's not too troublesome for you…"

"No! No, it's not." Bashfully, Chouji leaned forwards and kissed the corner of Shikamaru's twitching upwards mouth.

"Hmm." Shikamaru leaned on to Chouji's shoulder. "You're still too skinny. Wanna go get something to eat?"

"Can…can we do that in a minute?"

Another sigh was heaved. "Fine." Shikamaru lazily tilted his face up, and Chouji decided it might be longer than a minute before they left.

xXxXxXxXxXx

Ino grinned as Shikamaru and Chouji clumsily and shyly kissed again. "Get that, get that!" She hissed wildly at Sakura. "I want that to go next to that cute picture of Iruka-sensei blushing and Kakashi-sensei kissing his cheek!"

Sakura managed to break her 'awwww' moment long enough to snap a few more pictures.

Lee's eyes watered. "Ah, the Beauty of Youthful Love!" He sniffed dramatically.

"I think we should go before they decide to move," Sakura murmured quietly. Ino nodded her agreement and the three slithered away.

Once they were out of range, Ino gleefully checked off her team-mates names from her list. "We'll have to see if we can catch more pictures of them snogging later! Part one of Mission: Photo Come Together has been deemed a success! Now," she grinned maniacally, "let's get the other names on the list together! Sakura, do you have the masks?"

With a flourish, Sakura pulled out three medical facial masks and distributed them. "They're not foolproof, but it should slow those bugs down."

"Good enough!" Ino snapped hers on. "Come on, let's go see what we can get with Kiba and Shino! I bet we can get Kiba to hump Shino's leg!"

x Fin x