(A/n: This story is AU from book five onwards, and at the moment they are in their sixth year at Hogwarts. Their fifth year was the war, and the light side prevailed, Voldemort is gone for good. And, just a warning, there will be some slash, but it's light, and mostly there for humour and if I need a filler (incase, for some reason, a chapter is too small).

I should also point out that I'm from NZ, so if you're from the US or whatever, spelling may differ.

And before I forget:
Disclaimer (and this applies to the whole story, therefore every chapter – I do not own Harry Potter. The Potterverse belongs to one J.K. Rowling.)

Chapter One

- - -

Delusional
I believe I can cure it all for you, dear
Coax or trick or drive or
drag the demons from you
Make it right for you sleeping beauty
Truly thought
I could magically heal you
Sleeping Beauty
Poisoned and hopeless

- - -

Once upon a time, in a land not too far away, lived a brave, noble princess and a beautiful sadistic serpent in an enchanted castle - With hundreds of other men and maidens. This castle, you see, was a castle of learning; it housed wizards and witches. Quite a strange way to begin a fairytale, I suppose. But then again, the princess and her serpent were far from ordinary.

…and nothing's ever normal when Sleeping Beauty's a boy. But I really am getting a bit ahead of myself. Let's go back to when it all started…

- - -

He used to think his worst fear was Professor Snape. He still feared the greasy haired man, but having had him safe his life in the war, the once overwhelming terror gradually faded until he was only slightly afraid. Then his biggest fear had been Voldemort, but seeing the golden trio- in particular Harry Potter- defeat him, this fear too lessoned. The wizarding world was safe from Voldemort once and for all, not to mention Lucius Malfoy and most other prominent death eaters.

Looking back on this now, Neville Longbottom felt foolish. He had finally found – unintentionally, of course - the one person he should have feared all along. Draco Malfoy.

Or, as the golden trio liked to call him, the amazing bouncing ferret.

"You're dead, Longbottom! I'm going to enjoy this…" Draco Malfoy sneered at the cowering boy in front of him, smirking at the hoots and laughter from his fellow slytherins. "You should have known you wouldn't be able to avoid me forever."

During the war, each of the Slytherins before Neville had either helped the light side or gone into hiding. Draco had fought with the light as a double agent with Snape. He had saved Ginny and Fred Weasley from torture chambers when they'd been caught, and he'd been the one to – facing his worst fears - kill his father. Funnily enough, everything the Malfoy's owned was left to Draco in his parents will, making him rich, with large amount of property, including all of their holiday homes. (Witch weekly, in finding this out, announced him to be the second most eligible bachelor in the world, right after the boy who lived. – Excerpt from article: "Sexy, cunning and richer than Harry Potter himself, Draco Malfoy owns mansions all over the world. Who wouldn't want this fine specimen of a man?")

Neville Longbottom whimpered, glancing around pathetically at the other sixth year Slytherins. Last week - on a horrible day for Griffindors of double potions with Slytherins - Neville had been carrying back an eye of newt to Hermione Granger, but had tripped. Unfortunately for him, the eye of newt fell straight into Malfoys cauldron, causing an immediate explosion. Blue smoke was let out, only reaching one person as the others hurried out, the closest person to the explosion- Draco Malfoy. Malfoy passed him on the way to Hospital Wing and whispered words he knew meant he was done for. "You. Are. Dead."

Sure, he was a hero to the Gryfindors, especially when Malfoy came to class the next day completely blue, sprouting tentacles, and his trademark sleek blonde hair a green afro (for some reason, he still had hufflepuff's swooning).

But was it really worth it? Now here he was, a week later, cornered after class in an abandoned hallway, surrounded by jeering Slytherins, all just waiting to see Malfoy did next.

No, Neville decided, it was most definitely NOT worth it.

He shuddered and took one last step backwards, hitting the wall behind him. He felt in his pockets desperately for anything that might help him- not his wand, Malfoy already had that. He grasped a random object and pulled it out. The Slytherins advanced, laughing as he pointed a needle at them.

He remembered back to when he had left for the Hogwarts express. His gran had been rereading a book of fairytales, and had passed him a suspicious looking black needle. "Here. I've cast a charm on it so that it won't hurt you, otherwise I know you'll forget about it and use it on yourself. I know you can take care of yourself, but incase of any bullies, all you need to do is prick them with this, okay dear?" She turned away from him and he heard her mutter under her breath, "The Royal Association of Happily Ever After better appreciate this. All I've done for them..." He shrugged it off, thanking her. Back in the present, Neville prayed his gran wasn't crazy and this needle would help his current situation.

With a lunge faster than most would consider possible for him (but still not that fast), Neville leapt at Malfoy, whose last minute reflex had him with his hands up to shield his face- and Neville pricked his finger.

Malfoy blinked lazily, watching as Neville drew back in horror and a drop of blood ran down. "Is that all? Pathetic, Longbottom, rea-" Malfoy stopped, his eyes rolled back into his head, and he collapsed.

For a moment there was complete silence. And then- "My drakkie poo!" Pansy Parkinson shrieked, rushing to the unconscious blondes' side. Startled, none of them noticed the loud footsteps down the hallway.

"What the bloody hell just happened?" A voice called. Harry, Ron and Hermione walked towards the scene, and a stricken Neville ran to them. "I-I, I just- I didn't mean too, but what else could I- I mean you c-can't-" He stuttered.

"Calm down, Neville! What just happened?" Harry asked, alarmed by the state of Neville and the seven or so slytherins crowding around an unconscious Malfoy.

"Yeah?" Ron sneered, looking past Neville to the slytherins. "What are you snakes doing lurking around here? Run out of dark places to hide in the dungeons?" He snorted.

Hermione ignored him, quickly assessing the situation. "What's wrong with Malfoy? Someone needs to take him to Hospital Wing." She said, taking charge.

Pansy, still sobbing, got Millicent Bulstrode, and after a few tries managed to levitate him slowly in the right direction.

"Now then," Hermione glared around at them impatiently. "Would someone like to tell me what's going on?"

"Sod off Granger, we don't have to answer to you," the handsome Italian Slytherin Blaise Zambini answered. She glowered as his eyes traveled down her, making her cross her arms over her chest. Blaise smirked wickedly. "Tell you what though, you do something for me, I do something for you." He lifted an eyebrow suggestively.

"Bugger off, you wanker!" Ron snarled next to her.

Hermione sighed in exasperation. "Fine, don't help. We'll ask Neville what went on, and if something serious happened, I'll be reporting all of you," she paused to eye each Slytherin, "to Professor Dumbledore."

Blaise held up his hands in surrender. "No need to get your knickers in a twist, Granger! We were just leaving." The other Slytherins scowled but said nothing, and they retreated back down the corridor.

Hermione turned back to face the others. Harry had managed to get Neville to calm down and stop Ron from trying to – in his own words – 'Protect Hermione's honor,' at the same time.

"So what happened, Neville?" Hermione asked.

- - -

Having managed to get Neville to tell them what had happened, Hermione, Ron and Harry had taken Neville to Dumbledore to retell the whole thing to him. They bought him to where Draco was unconscious in Hospital wing.

"…And then I pulled out the needle and… pricked him." Neville finished, looking at his shoes.

Dumbledore nodded, eyes twinkling. "And that's what put Mister Malfoy in Hospital Wing, I presume?"

"I didn't mean to kill him sir! It was an accident, I swear! I was just scared, a-and please don't send me to Azkaban!" Neville babbled.

Dumbledore grimly smiled. "It's alright, Mister Longbottom, Mister Malfoy is not dead or dying. Quite the opposite, in fact," He said thoughtfully. "Also, nothing will happen to the Slytherins for what they tried to do to you, I'm afraid, as they did nothing to you because of what happened. However, until a way is found to wake up Mister Malfoy, the authorities may question you. But, Neville, and this is very important: is there anything you can tell me about that needle?"

Neville paused. "Um… My gran gave it to me before I left home; she said it was just in case I got bullied. Oh, she also said to give you this!" He grabbed an envelope from his cloak and handed it to Dumbledore. "Sorry I didn't give it to you sooner, I forgot," Neville said sheepishly.

Ron rolled his eyes and Hermione elbowed him.

Dumbledore read the letter and a strange smile graced his face. "I see. Well, for the first time in many years, it seems the Happily Ever After association has found a reason to play with fate at Hogwarts. An interesting past-time, theirs is." He mused happily.

Hermione gasped. "I've read about them- they recreate fairytales in the present day, by choosing the most worthy of people or couples to replay certain fairytales. They don't change history or fate so much as helping it along and adding a fairytale prop. Once the prop has been added they leave what happens to the people they have chosen."

"Sounds like a load of bollocks," Ron muttered to Harry.

Hermione ignored him and continued. "To think that they chose here! And I suppose that the element this time was the needle?"

Dumbledore beamed. "Excellent Miss Granger, yes!"

Harry's head turned to them. "Wait. Does that mean that Malfoy- Malfoy is Sleeping Beauty?" He asked incredulously.

Dumbledore nodded. "I'm afraid so, Harry. But you need not worry! No harm will come to Mister Malfoy, as no harm has or ever will come to someone affected by the Happily Ever After association. They do have that name for a reason." He added. "Now, I'm guessing you know how the story goes?" Dumbledore asked them.

Ron should his head, staring at the other two incredulously.

Hermione huffed. "Ronald, fairytales are better known – not to mention more accurate – in the wizarding world. Honestly…" She muttered.

"Would you like to tell Mister Weasley the story, Miss Granger?"

Hermione nodded and turned to Ron. "The basic story is this: there was a King and Queen who wanted a child. After a long time, the queen had a baby girl. Many people and fairies came to bless the child. However, one fairy had not been invited, and she came for revenge. She placed a curse on the child that meant that after its sixteenth birthday-"

Ron narrowed his eyes at Draco.

"No Ronald, Malfoy is actually seventeen- after her sixteenth birthday she would prick her finger on the needle on a spinning wheel and die. A good fairy that couldn't stop the curse, but could soften it, made it so that when she pricked her finger, the girl would only fall into a deep sleep until true love's kiss. The King and Queen ordered every spinning wheel in the land be destroyed, and watched as their beautiful daughter grew up to be humble and kind-"

Ron, eyes still on Malfoy, snorted in distain.

"Until one day, lured away from her family, she did indeed prick her finger. She, and all the others that lived in the castle, fell into a deep sleep that they couldn't be awakened from. They slept for one hundred years until a prince came to the castle, and found the girl – and kissed her. She awakened and they were married, then lived happily ever after." Hermione rolled her eyes. She didn't believe in true love and happily ever after. Being a realist, and because of all that had happened in the war, it wasn't much of a surprise.

"But… Malfoy's a boy." Ron stated, frowning.

Dumbledore nodded. "The Happily Ever After association does not choose based on gender. In fact, they are not biased in any way, when choosing candidates. Why, they could have chosen someone gay-" Ron looked horrified "-it wouldn't have mattered, as long as they believed the love between the couple they chose was to their specifications."

"In any case, we were lucky enough for this exact fairytale to have happened a few times in history, so potions and such have been invented for this exact situation. I will have Severus brew a potion that will show us the location of Mister Malfoy's true love. We are hoping he shall not have to wait a hundred years for his."

Harry smirked and exchanged a look with Ron. If they were lucky, it would take years for Malfoy to wake up.

- - -

"Did you hear? I can't believe…"

"He's sooo hot…"

"…Asleep until, you know-"

Hushed whispers of Draco Malfoy's condition followed Hermione to the great hall the next morning. The news had spread fast over night, and all the girls were gossiping over it dreamily. Hermione rolled her eyes as she passed Parvati and Lavender giggling about Malfoy.

"Imagine… I bet it'll be me who'll be his true love…" Parvati boasted.

Lavender raised an eyebrow in disbelief.

"It's true!" Parvati insisted. "I know we have a connection..."

Ignoring the rest of their conversation Hermione sat down next to Ron, who was shoveling scrambled eggs down his throat. "Good morning," he said cheerfully, glancing across to the vacant spot on the Slytherin table where Malfoy usually sat.

"Indeed." Hermione murmured. "How on earth did everyone find out about Malfoy so fast…" Hermione mused out loud as she poured herself pumpkin juice.

Ron froze with his fork in front of his mouth, looking like a deer caught in headlights.

"Ron!" Hermione screeched, interpreting this look immediately.

Ron winced. "Sorry 'Mione, but the news is just too good. Me and Harry wanted to celebrate."

Hermione turned to glare at Harry, who had been unusually quiet since she had sat down. He adopted the same deer in headlights look as Ron, but he at least had the decency to look a little ashamed of himself.

Harry winced and looked down at his plate. "You know that sooner or later everyone would have found out anyway, Hermione." He shrugged nonchantly, looking away from her. "And I think Dumbledore is planning on making an announcement about it…"

As if to prove Harry's point, Dumbledore stood up and waited for the chatter to die down. "Students… as you may already know, only yesterday Draco Malfoy was put under a deep sleep. He is fine; however the state he is in will remain the same until his true love kisses him… He is currently locked in the highest room of the tallest tower."

Girls swooned and giggled.

"Severus created a potion that told us the whereabouts of the lucky lady. We know that she resides in Hogwarts."

Girls cheered loudly, ignoring the boy's glares.

"Bloody hell, who is she?!" An agitated Ravenclaw boy yelled, trying to get his girlfriends' attention back.

"…Unfortunately, we don't know anymore about her. Which is why for the next few months, until a kiss awakens Mister Malfoy, every girl in the castle will be required to kiss him."

For a moment, everyone was silent. Dumbledore, eyes twinkling knowingly, looked around the room at them innocently.

The students went wild. Some girls – including Pansy Parkinson, who was screaming "Stay back you vultures! He's mine!" – ran from the great hall supposedly to where Draco was sleeping. A couple of girls fainted on the spot, and some, like Hermione, ignored everyone and continued eating breakfast. Some of the Slytherin boys cackled gleefully, claiming Draco was the man. Most of the other boys were yelling in outrage, and holding back their girlfriends.

"Damn… Malfoy is one lucky bastard." Ron said in awe.

Harry grinned. "Yeah, but don't forget- while the girls are kissing him," he made a face, disturbed, "he'll be unconscious."

Ron laughed. "Yeah." He turned to Ginny and scowled. "Don't you even think about it." He threatened, seeing her watching the other girls run out of the hall.

Harry scowled next to him. "I second that."

Ginny smirked at her brother and boyfriend. "Think about what? You know, I'm kind of full. I'm just gonna go…" she motioned with her hand to the door.

Ron glared as she walked away; not noticing the look of longing Harry was sending Ginny's back.

Hermione laughed, waving bye to Ginny. "Come on, we've got double potions next, and I don't want to start this week with detention," she smiled at them, tugging Harry out of his seat.

"Ugh. Double potions with Snape, could it be any worse?" Ron scowled, falling in line with them.

Hermione coughed. "Actually-"

Ron stopped her. "-Don't answer that."

- - -

"…And then Seamus turned him into a rat, can you believe it?" Ron laughed, doubling over in hysterics.

Harry snickered. "And when he got turned back to normal he still had a tail!"

Even Hermione chuckled a bit. During potions, without the watchful eye of Malfoy, Goyle and Crabbe had been clueless. Finally Crabbe stumbled on his way to get an eye of newt and fell face first into Seamus' potion, turning him into a rat – which wasn't the intent of the potion, either. Snape let the class – which had only really been half its usual size, since all but three girls had gone to see Malfoy – leave early to take Goyle the rat up to hospital wing.

The trio turned down another corridor, walking towards charms. "I swear, that memory is only second to when Malfoy was turned into a ferret."

At the end of the hallway they saw a line of girls that continued around the corner. "What are they there for?" Ron wondered allowed, his eyebrows furrowing in curiosity.

"…My god. I think that's the end of the line for the girls waiting to kiss Malfoy." Hermione spluttered in disbelief, her eyes wide.

Harry sneered, his eyes narrowing. "No way. Even he isn't that popular- and that tower is another two floors away!"

"We still have another eighteen minutes until charms starts, let's go check it out."

They followed the line of shrieking girls up to the highest room of the tallest tower, where an exasperated Professor McGonagall was trying to explain something to them.

Parvati, who was first in line, was wailing like a banshee. "Why? Why are you trying to stop our love? It doesn't matter; you can't keep Draco from me!" She shrieked, trying to march through the door into the room where Draco slept, only to be tossed out by a magical barrier.

"Miss Patil, for the last time, control yourself!" McGonagall shrieked at the girl. "I have already told you, Dumbledore and I have decided to do this in a rational order. Which means we start off with only girls in his year-"

"I'm in his year!"

"-In Slytherin! Then girls in his year in Ravenclaw, then Hufflepuff, and THEN Gryffindor!"

Parvati sobbed as Millicent Bulstrode shoved her aside. "Out of my way."

The scarily man-like girl marched menacingly into the room as the trio, McGonagall and Parvati looked on in horror. Draco laid in peaceful sleep on a king size bed in the middle of the room, obscured from sight as a hysteric Pansy clung to him. "W-why wont you wake up, you bastard!" She stuttered, wailing.

Her eyes widened as she saw Millicent walking towards him, and she began kissing him fanatically. "Noooo!" Kiss. "Not-" Kiss, "My-" Kiss "Drakey-poo!" She slapped him, crying. "You bastard Draco! Why won't you wake uuuup? Stay away, Millie, you can't have him, you ca- oomph!" She fell backwards off the bed as Millicent pushed her away.

Every one looked away as she puckered up and planted one on him. "Nooooo!" Pansy squealed dramatically in the background.

"Aha! I told you Millie, I told you!" Pansy cried triumphantly when Draco remained unconcious.

Millicent sighed and strode back out the door, shrugging at McGonagall and the trio. "Thought I might as well try my luck… and get my name signed off the list." She said gruffly, gesturing to the long list McGonagall was holding.

"Thank you, Miss Bulstrode. Back to class now, please. You lot too, and take Parvati with you." She told the trio.

Harry and Ron nodded. Sending one last look of disgust in Malfoy's direction. Hermione took one last look too- and gasped, suddenly breathless.

How… how was it possible?

How did Draco Malfoy, the one boy she had loathed all these years, suddenly look so innocent and… attractive? His blonde hair was like a halo, framing his pale albeit rosy face. His lips looked enticingly sweet. He did not snore, she couldn't even hear him breathe, but she saw his chest slowly rise and fall in a small motion. He was as entrancing as a veela. For a moment, her complete desire for him had her oddly mesmerised.

"You coming Hermione?" Ron called, struggling to keep his grip on Parvati. "Don't want to be late for Charms, right?"

Hermione turned away, shaking her head. It was probably just a trick of the light. "Coming!" She called back, jogging to catch up with them.

After all, how could such a git ever look like such an angel?

(a/n: Yay. Done. Second chapter will hopefully be posted soon, but I'll be away for a while cause I'm going skiing :D I've only ever been to the snow once when I was three, so yeah… pretty excited. Ahem. Anyways, props to anyone who knows the song at the beginning. It's Sleeping Beauty, by A Perfect Circle).