Sacrifices for a Broken Future

Summary: What would you do if you could change the future? Would you give up your entire life? What if you didn't have a choice?

Characters: Fai D. Flowright + Kurogane

Rating: T

Genre: Fantasy/Adventure/Angst

Copyright: Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle belongs to Clamp. Any other recognizable media belongs to their respective owners.

Crossovers: Card captor Sakura- Clamp; xxxHolic- Clamp

Couples: KuroFai, SyaoSaku

Author's Notes: Written as of Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle Chapter 215. This means that when I wrote this Clamp had just finished writing that chapter. Anything revealed after that point may, but probably won't, be wormed into the plot somehow. I'm sorry for the differences. No, it's not your imagination. The spelling of Syoaran's name does change suddenly and then back again. I needed a way to tell real and cloned apart.

Last Time: Fai has nearly made it to the end of the race. However, the use of his magic has placed stress on his already overly-taxed body. And, at the end, Kurogane's courageous sacrifice to keep the princess in the race has shaken him. He still has a lot to learn.

"Talking"

'Thinking'

"Talking through Mokona"

Chapter 10-

Fai raced forward, his head spinning. He was beginning to feel light-headed. His body didn't like all the stress he was putting it through. But he didn't care. Kurogane was what was important. Kurogane was all that mattered.

He couldn't lose him. Not again.

He came up to the group just as Kurogane shouted at Sakura to go. He watched as the young girl nodded and darted ahead. He couldn't though. Kurogane was still down there.

"Kurogane!" he shouted, maneuvering to hover over the man. Kurogane looked up at him in annoyance. A second later the glare the ninja had prepared faltered as he looked at Fai. There was such a large amount of panic in the blonde's face. "I'm fine." Kurogane shouted up. "Go on."

"I can't just leave you!" Fai shouted. He sounded pretty hysterical, he mused detachedly. Kurogane glared. "Oh yes you can! You are not giving up because of me!" his glare hardened. "I said you'd changed, mage. Don't you dare prove me wrong! Now go and finish this god-damn race!"

Fai bit his lip as he stared at the man. He couldn't just leave him. But he had too. He had too!

Snapping his eyes shut and turned and flew the firefly away from the man. He could feel tears push at the back of his eyes but he pushed them away, the same way he pushed back the pounding in his head and the aching loneness that had built like a fog around his heart.

"You never change, Kurogane." He whispered sadly, his head bowed.

Fai looked up as he entered the clearing with the water-falls. He glided down next to Sakura, smiling dimly at her. "Hey, Sakura-chan."

She looked at him, worried. "Are you alright, Fai-san? You like a little pale." She asked.

He laughed weakly. "Oh, I'm fine. A bed would be nice though. Any idea how we get out of here?" he asked, motioning around him to the covered areas. He would probably do it himself just to get out of here but his head was killing him and it hurt to concentrate.

Sakura frowned in concentration. "Well, Tomoyo-chan is the one who's holding this event, right?" she asked. Fai nodded. His sight was doing something weird. He shook his head to clear it and looked over at the young girl. Sakura smiled. "Then there must be a way out of here!" she stated confidently.

Fai smiled at her belief. He glanced over his shoulder, towards where Kurogane would still be in the water if they hadn't gotten to him yet. He was worried. His head hurt and his magic was buzzing beneath his skin in an effort to force his over-worked body to make adrenaline.

He took a deep breath and looked back at Sakura. He cursed under his breath when he watched the girl forward towards the waterfall. He would have used magic to pull her back but his mind chose that minute to remind him, 'hey, she did this before. It's a wind thing; you should have figured it out already.' He groaned softly in annoyance and followed the girl.

---

Fai quickly pushed his way through the thong of people to where Syoaran and Kurogane were standing watching Sakura take her feather. He stopped behind them, breathing heavily. His head was spinning.

Kurogane turned towards him but Syoaran had eyes only for Sakura. The ninja raised a hand in greeting. "Yo." He greeted gruffly.

Fai took a deep breath once again and smiled shakily. "Hi. You alright?"

Kurogane nodded and held up his other hand. "The medics took care of it. What a pain!" he groused. Fai glanced at the wound and felt a shock of horror shot through him. Despite his pounding head he could still remember the ugly yet small cuts lining the back of Kurogane's hand the first time he did this.

This time a clean white bandage was wrapped around the ninja's lower arm, just above the wrist.

The wound had changed. That was all he could think; the wound had changed. Yuko's voice drifted through his head, 'Even if you do things the same way you will not get the same results.' Fai stepped forward and grasped Kurogane's arm, gently fingering the wound covering. "I'm sorry."

Kurogane frowned at him. "What the hell are you going on about? This isn't your fault. Whoever rigged this race is to blame." He scolded.

Fai wanted to tell him that he was wrong. It was his fault that Kurogane had received the wound, because he had mettled. Instead he merely muttered. "Two people. Two different people rigged the race."

Kurogane stared at him and nodded. "I know." The ninja stated. Fai smiled weakly and stepped forward, letting his head drop onto Kurogane's shoulder. He felt the ninja stiffen slightly before he relaxed. "You okay, mage?"

He smiled weakly but didn't move. "I feel so tired." He answered. "I think, I might have pushed myself a bit too far back there." He muttered. He heard Kurogane growl in annoyance and could almost see the scowl on his face. Kurogane glared down at the mage resting on his shoulder. "Idiot." He muttered harshly but Fai heard a hint of affection.

"Maybe." He agreed. Kurogane placed a hand on Fai's shoulder. "You need to rest." He ordered. Fai straightened and looked at him with pleading eyes. "Not yet. I don't want to ruin this for Sakura. She needs this victory."

Kurogane glared hard. "I think she'd prefer you rest instead of making yourself sick no matter the situation." Fai looked up at him from beneath his blonde bangs. The soul-deep pain was back in them and Kurogane felt his heart wretch at the sight. Why did the mage always have to look so sad?

"Please, Kurogane." Fai begged. "Don't make them worry. I…I don't want them to worry about me." He whispered. Kurogane stared at him for a minute. "If you feint, I not going to carry you." He hissed and turned back around. Fai smiled softly. "Thank you."

---

Fai leaned thankfully against the couch as the party echoed around him. "So, Sakura-chan, you're not going to absorb the feather?" he asked of the girl sitting across from him.

Sakura smiled softly and hugged the feather closer to her chest. "Because I have a feeling that if I absorb the feather I'll fall asleep. I wanted to thank Tomoyo-chan first." She paused and glanced up at Tomoyo across the room. "But she's been so busy I haven't had the chance."

He smiled at the younger girl. "I'm sure she'll always have time for you Sakura-chan." He assured, causing the younger girl to blush. "Thank you as well, Fai-san. For helping me through the race."

He smiled and turned his head as he spotted Nokoru walking towards them. Fai shook his head as the blonde held out a flower. He leaned further back into the chair, closing his eyes. Almost immediately a sharp buzzing met his ears. He winced, sitting up straighter and rubbing at one ear.

Kurogane glanced over at him. "What's wrong?" he asked, causing Syoaran and Sakura to look at him as well. Fai frowned. "My ears hurt." He muttered and glanced at Mokona. The white creature was grasping at his long ears in pain. "Mokona too." He muttered.

His eyes widened when the glass around him shattered. Quickly, without thought, he sent a blast of magic from his fingertips to stop the shards from hitting his group. The weak barrier dissipated mere seconds after it was summoned but it lasted long enough.

Fai looked up at the shadow standing near the windows and glared. "Kyle-sensei." He ground out. Now there was one man he never did quite like. He glanced over at the children and winced. "Sakura-chan, Syoaran-kun, you alright?!"

The two glanced at him before Sakura swung her attention back towards the glass-encased feather. "It's breaking!" she shouted.

Cries came forward when Tomoyo burst from the protective circle of the guards to race to where Sakura was. "Tomoyo-chan!"

Tomoyo glanced at the girl she was trying to protect. "Take the feather inside you, Sakura-chan." She ordered, causing the two children to gasp. Fai's eyes widened as he watched the feather fly from the princess's grasp over to the doctor.

He ran over to where Sakura was sitting just as Syoaran got up to chase the feather. "Sakura-chan, you alright?" he asked, glancing briefly at Tomoyo. The girl didn't answer for at the minute Mokona sucked in the feather and popped it back out in front of her. Fai carefully guided the feather towards her, allowing her body to absorb it.

Sakura stared tiredly at Tomoyo as her eyes slid closed. "Tomoyo…chan…"

Fai gently lowered the princess onto the ground and smiled, brushing the brown hair out of her face. "She was right." Tomoyo whispered, staring at him. "You have a heart of gold, Fai-san."

Fai jerked and looked at her wide-eyed. "What?" he whispered, but he didn't get the chance to get an answer. Kyle interrupted. "When you go to a new world you meet the same people living completely different lives. But you never know. They could be the originals."

Fai gathered magic to his fingertips, glad suddenly for the adrenaline rush he was moving on. He knew without it he wouldn't be able to do this. He just was too stressed. He threw the magic out just as Kyle pushed himself back out the window. The magic wrapped easily around the man's leg and zoomed up his body, dragging him through the window.

Fai smiled and stood on shaky legs. "Yes, well. We won't have to worry about you at least." He said, enjoying the look of shock that spread over the man's face. He must have thought Fai was still working for Fei Wang and so wouldn't hurt him. "B-but you…" Kyle stuttered. Fai smiled wider, "Hello." He stated and waved cheerfully.

He turned and smiled at Tomoyo. "Would you like to do the honors?" he asked. Tomoyo stared at him and nodded, standing. Fai watched as she calmly ordered the people around, giving no hesitation to anything.

Kurogane walked up next to him. "Any idea why he was so shocked to see you?" the man asked. Fai blinked and smiled widely. "Not a clue." He lied smoothly. It wasn't something he thought Kurogane was willing to hear just yet.

He turned and called to Tomoyo. "Tomoyo-chan! Can I let him go? It's giving me a head ache!" he asked. Tomoyo nodded, smiling at him. Sighing, Fai let the magic he was using to hold the man in place go.

"That gave you a head ache?" Kurogane asked, gazing at him in concern. They both knew that Fai should be able to handle much more. Fai smiled. "Over-worked myself again. Nothing a little rest won't cure."

Kurogane huffed, staring at the mage. Did the blonde always have to be so stubborn? His eyes widened when Fai's knees gave out suddenly, making him sink to the floor. He caught the blonde's shoulders to steady him, watching as he shook his head. "You should lay down." He muttered.

Fai blinked and nodded slowly. "Yeah, I think I should." Syoaran looked over at him in concern. "Are you alright, Fai-san?"

Fai smiled blindingly. "Yes, of course. Syoaran-kun. I'm afraid I've just over-worked myself too much. I'll be fine in the morning."

---

Kurogane glared as he helped Fai in the kitchen. "Why am I doing this?" he asked. Fai hummed, still smiling. "Because, Sakura-chan's unconscious, Syoaran-kun's not going to leave her side, it's rude to make guests work, and I need another pair of eyes. You should feel honored."

Kurogane glared harder as he helped bring the cups into the living room. "Oh yeah. Really honored." He hissed, watching as the blonde laughed.

Fai set a cup of tea in front of Tomoyo and smiled. "Would you like to explain something, Tomoyo-chan?" he asked. Tomoyo smiled sadly and nodded. "The one who rigged the race was me." She replied.

---

Fai smiled as he watched the party take place around him. There was something calming in the chaos. He turned his head as Kurogane and Tomoyo came back into the house and smiled at the two. Kurogane nodded to him and walked away while Tomoyo walked over to him.

She sat down next to him, remaining quiet. It was up to Fai to start the conversation. "So I take it, Tomoyo-hime remembers me?" he asked.

Tomoyo glanced at him. "She asked me to check on you. She seemed very worried about you. Are you alright, Fai-san?" she asked, staring at him in concern.

Fai smiled widely. "Oh yes, I'm just fine."

Tomoyo turned towards him fully. "Please, Fai-san. She told me not to trust a word that comes out of your mouth until I've had to push you for information." She giggled softly. "She says you have quite the bad habit of lying. You know, that's a mental condition in my world."

Fai smiled, gentler this time. "No, I had no idea." He paused and thought. "Tell her…it's hard. Beyond hard. And lonely too sometimes. I over-work myself and I worry too much and I'm terribly afraid I'm going to screw this up and it'll all be for nothing. I fear that I'm going to change something so big that someone's going to get hurt badly and I can't lose them again. They'll take what's left of my sanity with them."

He stopped and smiled softly. "But it's fun sometimes too. It's nice to see Sakura-chan smile so brightly and it's nice to not see Syoaran-kun look so sad all the time. It's nice that Kurogane is still so twitchy around me, like he's afraid I'm going to go berserk, instead of afraid I'm going to break. And it's nice to see Mokona again.

"It's heart-racing and beautiful and scary and loving and I wouldn't trade it for the world. Tell her that." He finished, smiling widely at the girl.

Tomoyo smiled softly back at him. "I will. She'll be happy to know you're alright. She had one other question though." Fai glanced over at her when she paused. "What is it?" he asked.

"Well, I don't get it, but she requested I ask you what you'll do when you see the other Sakura again. She said you'd understand." Tomoyo whispered, looking at him in confusion.

Fai stopped and thought about it. He'd never actually thought about what the real Sakura had done to him and the life he'd pain-stakingly created. The entire trip he'd either been so determined it hadn't crossed his mind or he'd been so consumed with his pain that he couldn't.

And Fai realized he was undeniably angry. Angrier than he'd ever been.

It scared him.

Fai met Tomoyo's eyes coldly, causing the girl to recoil at the look on his face. "Tell her that I'll say, 'Welcome back, Hime.'" He answered before he stood and walked away.

---

Fai laughed as he watched Mokona dance around on Syoaran's head. Taking pity on the boy he walked over and picked Mokona up. "Why don't you go see what Kuro-daddy's doing, Mokona? We wouldn't want him to be getting in trouble." He watched as the animal bounced off and turned his attention to Syoaran. "How are you feeling, Syoaran-kun?" he asked.

Syoaran looked up at him and smiled weakly. "Thank you, Fai-san." Fai watched as the boy rubbed softly at his forehead before his hand dropped suddenly into his lap. Fai felt the crystal wrapped around his neck heat up and glanced down to see it glowing softly.

He looked back down as Syoaran looked up at him, eyes dark and sad and it had nothing to do with his hangover. Fai knew those eyes. The words that accompanied them still echoed in his head: "Tell her I'm sorry."

He smiled grimly. "Hello, Syaoran-san." He greeted. The real Syaoran looked up at him in surprise. "Fai-san?" he asked.

The blonde slid into the seat next to him. "Can't fool me, Syaoran-san. I know you're not the boy I'm traveling with. Are you doing well?" he asked. Syoaran stared at him as Fai tried to ignore the going heat from his necklace.

Finally Syoaran whispered. "I should have known a mage of your power would notice. I'm doing well." Fai smiled and curled his legs up to his chest. "Ah, that's good. How can I help you?"

Syaoran looked out the window he was sitting next to. "It's about the Country of Shara…" he muttered.

Fai shook his head. "What's done is done. Everything changes, nothing changes back. A wish made and paid cannot be undone. All we can do is look towards the future. Because sometimes that future is all we have." He reached out and patted Syoaran's hand. "It's best if we try to forget the sacrifices made for our wishes and merely ask ourselves, 'if we could do it all over again, would you change it at all?' and no matter the answer keep moving forward."

He stood than, smiling at the young man. "Everything will be absolutely alright. I'll make sure of it." Syaoran stared at him in amazement for a minute till he bowed his head and looked away. "But what we did…"

"Is unforgiveable." Fai finished. "It's considered the ultimate taboo to change the time lines. Because time and space can start to fall apart. Things can change. What right do we have to play god. Right?" he asked, smiling at the boy. "I can't tell you what's right or wrong. You have to decide on your own. But I can stand by you. Support you. Wait for you to join this little make-shift family of ours. And I will do that. Have no doubt, Syaoran-san."

Syaoran was staring at him. Slowly, a weak grin played across his lips. "Thank you, Fai-san. I had been worried about you in the beginning but…thank you." He whispered.

Fai watched as the darkness and sadness disappeared from Syaoran's eyes, leaving Syoaran in his place. Fai smiled warmly at the boy as the necklace cooled rapidly. "No matter what kind of person someone is, as long as that person retains the ability to love that person is human." He informed him. Syoaran blinked at him in confusion. "Never forget that, Syoaran-kun." Fai whispered turning and walking away.

---

Fai watched as Tomoyo and Sakura said their goodbyes. He smiled at the girl. "Thank you for everything, Tomoyo-chan. If you see Tomoyo-hime again, can you pass on a message for me?" he asked.

Tomoyo smiled at him. "Of course. What is it?" Fai leaned down to whisper to her. "Tell her, 'We're coming home. All of us. Together. Think you can handle it?'"

Tomoyo nodded, "I'll do that. Take care of them, Fai-san." He smiled at the girl. "Don't I always?" he asked jokingly.