Disclaimer: Um, seriously?

Author's Note: Sorry that I totally like abandoned this fic… I don't really have a good excuse this time… Anyways… I hope you enjoy this 2669 words of LoSHy goodness! C:

...

The next evening, Louise entered their chamber and was greeted by her Sultan.

"Good evening, Kell," Louise smiled, actually happy to see him for once. Kell slowly nodded his head in acknowledgement.

"Are you finishing the story so I can execute you tomorrow?" Kell asked coldly.

Louise looked at him quizzically, Okay, this guy has some serious bipolar issues. "Um, yeah… I'll finish the story. But first, how was your day, my Sultan?" Maybe there's a reason he's being less than amiable?

"Horrible. Now tell me the rest of the story," Kell commanded.

"Aren't you going to ask how my day was, darling?" Louise batted her eyelashes, feigning innocence.

"Mmm, not really. I can behead you now if you don't want to go on with the story," the Sultan said effortlessly.

"Okay, fine. Geesh," Louise muttered. "So we left off with the cobbler…"

...

Imra lead Chuck through town, until she reached the edge of the main market. She pulled out a blindfold from her satchel and looked at Chuck sympathetically. "I'm going to have to blindfold you from here on… But don't worry. I'll lead the way," she explained as she wrapped the piece of cloth around his eyes.

They reached the house, but Imra didn't remove the blindfold until they were inside. She took the cobbler into a dark, empty room without windows were Mekt's body was.

"I need you to sew this up for me," she asked sweetly. She lit a lamp and put it on the table next to the bed where Mekt lay.

Chuck carefully took a look at the body and shuddered, "I have to… Sew thatup?"

"Yes, please."

It took a little while, but Chuck had finished the job and was about to leave. "Wait," Imra halted him. "I need to take you back. You don't know the way."

Chuck nodded in agreement as she tied the blindfold around his eyes and led him back to the market. There, she pulled out a bag of gold-foil covered chocolate coins and handed it to him. Then she pulled out another, "Forget the last three hours, okay?" she asked, handing the second bag to him.

...

"Tyr, sir," Ron-Karr bowed to his leader. "I was making rounds in the city today and that man who we cut up… He had disappeared completely!"

Tyr looked visibly shocked, "B-But... How?" he muttered to himself. He quickly recomposed himself. "Well, we'll need to get to the bottom of this! Any volunteers?" he looked to his forty thieves.

"Oooh, me! Pick me! Pick me!" Ron-Karr raised his hand wildly.

"Very well," Tyr nodded. "If you find out who did this, you will be rewarded handsomely. If not, your punishment will be grave. Understand?"

"Of course," Ron-Karr bowed once more before exiting and heading out to the town. In town, he went straight to the market and looked through all the stores. One booth looked particularly suspicious, as its owner had three bags of gold foil chocolate coins sitting on a back shelf.

"Hmmm," Ron-Karr mused as he approached the stall. "Good morning."

"Good morning, sir. What can I do for you?" Chuck, the cobbler, asked brightly.

"Answer me a question," Ron-Karr replied, tossing a bag of coins onto the table.

"Um, alright," Chuck replied, feeling a little uncomfortable.

"Have you seen or done anything… odd in the past day or so?"

"I'm talking to you, aren't I?" Chuck chuckled. Ron-Karr did not. He tossed another pouch to Chuck.

"Tell me," Ron-Karr said forcefully.

"Well…" the cobbler sighed. He took the thief up to the spot where Imra had blindfolded him. "I don't know the way after here… She made sure I couldn't see."

"Very well. Thank you," Ron-Karr nodded before walking off. He continued walking until he saw a large neighborhood and stopped.

"This one looks suspicious," Ron-Karr guessed. He pulled out a piece of white chalk and drew a X right above the door. He laughed wildly before going back to the cave.

Coincidentally, the house with the white X was actually Garth Ranzz's. Ayla and him were at work, while Imra had gone out to do the groceries. On her return, she noticed the white X and got a little worried. After going inside to put the milk and yogurt in the fridge, she walked outside and drew white Xs on every single other house in the neighborhood.

"That should do it," she nodded, happy with her work, before returning to her own house.

Meanwhile, Ron-Karr had rallied up Tyr and was leading him to the neighborhood.

"See, I don't exactly remember the house, because they all looked the same, but I drew an X with chalk, so don't worry," Ron-Karr was recounting the tale proudly. He looked to Tyr, who was not amused. "What happened?" Ron-Karr paled, noticing Tyr's anger.

"Every single house in this neighborhood has a white X on it, you dumbass!" Tyr yelled, his blood boiling.

"Oops."

That evening, Ron-Karr was swiftly executed. The next morning, Tyr approached his 39 thieves and asked if anyone else was brave and smart enough to try again.

"Does anyone think they can do it?" Tyr challenged.

"I think I can!" Hunter stepped up.

"Very well. The conditions are the same," Tyr replied. "Good luck."

And with that, Hunter rode into town. He too, saw the cobbler and stopped by his stall. In fact, he did everything exactly the way Ron-Karr did it, but when he reached the Ranzz house, he remembered Ron-Karr's tragic error- using white chalk. Hunter pulled out a piece of red chalk and scribbled an X on top of their door. He quickly left to get Tyr.

Not much later, Imra returned from the butcher, the baker and the candle-stick maker's and saw a red X right above her doorway. She went inside, dropped off her meats, breads and candles and took a piece of red chalk and drew an X on every house, much in the same manner she did the day before.

As soon as Imra returned home, Hunter had come back with Tyr. He, again, was not amused. Hunter shared the same fate as Ron-Karr, leaving Tyr with only 37 men left.

"I can't keep sending my men off like this… I can't lose more of them," he said to himself. And suddenly, he got an idea.

This time around, it was Tyr who visited Chuck the cobbler and got directions. Once he reached Garth Ranzz's house, instead of putting any sort of marking, Tyr simply memorized what the house looked like so when he returned that evening, he wouldn't fail to remember.

Meanwhile, in the neighboring village, Tyr had sent some of his men to buy nineteen mules and thirty-eight leather jars. They loaded two leather jars on each mule and each of the 37 thieves hid in a leather jar, leaving one left. Tyr filled the last one with oil. Tyr had now disguised himself as a traveling oil merchant who needed somewhere to stay for the night.

"My good man," Tyr greeted Garth Ranzz, who was sitting outside his house. "I'm a traveling oil merchant and I have nowhere to stay for the night. I must get to the market early tomorrow morning… Do you have room in your home and heart to let me stay here?"

Though Garth had seen the leader of the thieves back at the cave, he did not recognize him in his disguise. "Sure! No problem," Garth welcomed him in and had Imra make him dinner while Ayla led the mules into the backyard. After she left, Tyr walked in and whispered to each man- "I'll let you know when it's time. Don't come out until then."

Garth had had a long day, so he went to sleep, but Ayla and Imra had some work to finish up. In the middle of it, their lamp went out and Ayla went to fetch some oil, but they were out.

"How are we supposed to get this done?" Imra sighed. "All the stores will be closed by now. Its dark out."

"Just get some from that merchant's jar in the backyard. We can pay him back tomorrow morning," Ayla suggested.

"Good idea," Imra nodded as she went out to the yard.

The first thief, hearing footsteps asked, "Is it time?"

Imra, who heard a man where oil should have been, was tempted to scream, but didn't. She quickly understood that these were the thieves and the 'merchant' was their leader. She cleared her throat and deepened her voice and pretending to the 'merchant', she said, "Not yet. But soon." Imra did this 37 times, until she reached the last jar- the one that actually had oil in it.

She took the whole jar back inside the house. Imra put a little oil in the lamp, but boiled the rest in a kettle.

"What are you doing?" Ayla asked Imra, seeing her and the kettle. "We already had tea."

"Shh, I'll explain later," Imra whispered. "I'll be back in a few minutes."

And with that, Imra stepped outside and dumped enough oil into each jar to stifle and kill each robber. When her courageous deed was done, Imra went back inside and waited to see what would happen.

About a quarter of an hour later, Tyr saw that all was quiet, so he threw some pebbles at the jars on the mules. When nothing happened, he grew a little uneasy and went out to the yard. Again, nothing happened.

"Are you asleep?" he asked angrily to one thief as he opened the jar. He smelled the hot, burned oil and quickly went to the other 36 jars with thieves and the empty oil jar. Tyr quickly became aware of what had happened. He jumped over their fence and ran away.

The next morning, Garth woke up and noticed that the merchant was gone, but his mules and jars were still there. Imra recounted the tale to him and Ayla, telling them that the merchant was really the leader and he had escaped.

"Wow, Imra," Garth said. "You saved my life! How can I ever make it up to you?"

Imra smiled, "You don't have to. I love you, Garth."

"I love you, too," he replied, pulling her into a warm hug.

"Eww. Go get a room, you too," Ayla pretended to be disgusted.

Tyr returned to his now lonely cave and decided to avenge his men by killing off Garth Ranzz.

...

Kell yawned, "This is getting boring."

"No, its not," Louise replied. "It's like at the climax now."

"Yeah, whatever," Kell rolled his eyes.

Louise took in a deep breath, "Okay, what's wrong? I thought… I thought we were going good. Last night was good… And now it's like… not good," Louise stammered out, almost shocked by her own audacity.

Kell looked at her for what felt like forever before he started, "Just finish the story already."

Louise's heart sunk.

...

Tyr decided the best way to execute his plan was to go slow. First, he cut his hair and disguised himself as a harmless merchant. He loaded some of his stolen riches on his horse and entered town. He took up residence at a lodge and the next day, he set up shop at a stall across from Ayla's homemade jewelry store.

"Hello, I'm Billy Joe Bob and I'm new here," Tyr said politely, introducing himself to Ayla.

"And I'm Ayla. Nice to meet you, BIlly Joe Bob," she replied.

Everyday, Tyr would bring some small trinket for Ayla as a peace offering, trying to get her to befriend him. And as the days progressed, she did.

One day, on the way home, Ayla invited 'Billy Joe Bob' to their house for dinner.

"You really should. Imra makes the best food," Ayla added.

"Well, I'll stop by. But I can't commit to dinner," Tyr replied. They went home and Ayla introduced her brother to 'Billy Joe Bob'.

"Nice to meet you," Garth said, completely oblivious that it was Tyr, leader of thieves.

"Likewise. Now, I can't stay for dinner-"

"And why not?" Garth interrupted.

"Well, I don't eat salt, so…"

"Imra, you heard the man- no salt in our bread or meats tonight," Garth told his wife.

She forced a smile. "Of course," she said, before going to the kitchen. "What an odd man. Doesn't eat salt!" she muttered. Though Imra found it suspicious, she didn't pick up on the fact that he didn't want to eat their salt. See, in that culture, eating a host's salt means that one is indebted to the host and must protect him if there is any sort of threat during his stay.

And Tyr certainly wasn't going to do that. In fact, he was working on the opposite.

Imra entered the dining room, bringing in the food one dish at a time. On her second trip, she saw a bulge in his side… Something eerily knife-shaped…

Finally, Imra brought in the turkey and placed it in front of Tyr. "May I carve the turkey today, Garth?" Imra asked her husband sweetly.

"Sure, why not?" Garth replied, sipping some of his wine.

"Hurry up! It looks good!" Ayla exclaimed.

"Yup!" Imra replied cheerily. She glanced over at Tyr, who had his eyes on the turkey and decided to take advantage of his absentmindedness. Pulling the knife out and pushing it towards the turkey, she suddenly switched directions and plunged the knife through Tyr's heart. He fell to the floor, lifeless.

"Imra! Are you insane!" Garth yelled, shocked.

"Hardly," she smiled wryly as she opened his coat pocket and pulled out a butcher's knife. "The man won't eat our salt and he's carrying a giant knife around?"

"The leader," Garth whispered. "It's the thieves' leader."

Imra nodded.

"Wow," Garth grinned. "You saved me again. What would I do without you, Imra?"

And with that, the Ranzzes lived long, wealthy lives. Garth passed the story and magic words to his kids, who passed it down to their kids, who passed it down to their kids, ecetera.

The End.

...

"The night is still young, sire," Louise said after finishing the story. "Perhaps we have time for another story?"

"Don't think I don't know what you're doing," Kell replied. "You start a story every night and don't finish it so I don't kill you. And then the next night, after finishing the first story, you start another so you can live another day."

Louise paled. She swallowed, "I-It's not like that, sire. It, um, well, the-"

"Are you going to tell me another story or what?" Kell asked.

Louise brightened. "Of course!"

...

Once upon a time, there was a poor boy named Alabrin Londo, Brin for short. He wasn't the brightest, or the most handsome, but he had a good heart. He lived with his mother in a crappy shed on the outskirts of town. They did menial, laborious jobs for a living until one day… When Brin met a evil wizard.

...

Louise yawned, "You know what, I think I'm going to turn in. I'm really tired."

"You barely started the story," Kell pointed out.

"So?" Louise shrugged.

"You want to get beheaded tomorrow morning?" Kell asked.

Louise sighed, "You know what? You can't keep saying that to me. You can't try to control me by keeping me in fear of death. You know what, Kell? I'd rather you just kill me off than stifle me and force me to do whatever you want to do!" She prayed that her bluff worked.

"Very well," Kell narrowed his eyes. He stood up and left the room.

Louise, for the second time that night, went white.

Before exiting, Kell turned back and looked at her, "I'll see you tomorrow night. You better finish that story!"

...

Well, thanks for reading! I LOVE reviews! C: