Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.

Careless Whisper

By: ChoCedric

Sirius Black was sitting on his bed in the Gryffindor dormitory, feeling more miserable than ever. As the seconds ticked by, he couldn't help but believe very strongly that he'd lost two of his greatest friendships. James Potter was not talking to him, and he knew that Remus Lupin would want nothing more to do with him either. But he knew he deserved it. Last night he'd done a terrible, terrible thing.

Severus Snape had confronted him after Sirius had had a little rendezvous with a pretty girl from Hufflepuff; they'd been getting up to mischief on top of the Astronomy Tower. On his way back to the common room, he'd been stopped by the hook-nosed, greasy-haired boy.

"If it isn't Black," Snape sneered as he strode over and stood right in Sirius's path.

"What the bloody hell do you want, Snivellus?" Sirius snapped.

Snape clenched his fists. "My, my, my, a little testy today, aren't we?" he drawled nastily. "And where are your little friends? I notice Lupin's not looking well, poor baby. What's wrong with him this time? His body doesn't seem able to take much strain, does it?" he smirked.

"Shut the hell up about Remus!" Sirius spat, his temper rising.

Snape just snickered. "I know you four are up to something. And believe me, I'm going to find out what it is. And when I do, all of you will be expelled."

"Get out of my way, Snivellus!" Sirius snarled.

"You know," said Snape silkily, "it is rather nice to be good mates with your little brother. He's a fine young wizard, unlike you."

"Get away from my brother, you asshole!" Sirius roared.

Snape smiled evilly. "He knows the proper etiquette," he went on. "He knows not to associate with mudbloods and blood traitors. He gets the love of his family while you get ridiculed and spat on."

At this, Sirius snapped completely. He'd just run away from his family the summer before, and anything he heard that involved them forced all his bad feelings to the surface. He grabbed Snape's robes, and stood so their noses were inches apart. "You know what, you sonuvabitch? Perhaps you'd like a little stroll by the Whomping Willow," he said quietly. "If you really want to know what we're up to, go there in about fifteen minutes. Find a stick, and then prod the knot. That's all you have to do to freeze the Willow."

Snape's smile grew even wider. "Why, thank you very much, Black," he drawled. "That's all I needed to know." And with that, he turned and strode away.

Now, a day later, Sirius didn't know what he'd been thinking. He'd sent Snape right into the jaws of a werewolf. And not just any werewolf; this was Remus Lupin, one of his best friends. And one of Remus's greatest fears was biting or killing someone, and Sirius had used him as a weapon against Snape. He'd treated Remus like a thing.

"I'm going down to the common room, and don't you dare follow me," snarled James Potter as he glared ferociously at Sirius. "You can be here to face the music when Remus returns from the hospital wing. Actions have consequences, Sirius, and what you did was unforgivable. I won't blame him if he never speaks to you again." Still glowering, he banged angrily out of the dormitory.

Sirius hung his head in shame and continued to sit glumly on his bed. Five minutes later the door opened, and Sirius's heart filled with dread as Remus Lupin, looking tired, depressed, and bedraggled, walked into the room.

At first, he said nothing. It was the most uncomfortable silence Sirius had ever known. He wished Remus would speak, wished he'd find the words to say to condemn him. Couldn't he just get this over with?

Finally, the werewolf's voice penetrated the quiet of the room.

"Why, Sirius?"

Sirius looked up at him, and guilt filled him in huge bursts as he saw the completely betrayed expression on Remus's face. "I'm so sorry," he muttered quietly. "I didn't mean to."

"Sorry?" Remus whispered. "That's all you can say when you almost made me a murderer?"

Sirius was speechless. He just stared at Remus, wishing he could express in words how much of a jerk and an asshole he was at the current time.

"Listen," Remus said, "I'm going to tell you what would have happened if your so-called "prank" had gone forward, Sirius. I would have bitten Snape or murdered him, and do you know what happens to werewolves who bite or kill people? Do you really want to know?" His voice rose as he spoke. "Answer me, dammit! Do you want to know?"

"I already know," Sirius said miserably.

"Tough," Remus snapped. "I'm going to tell you again, just to spell it out for you. I would have been executed by the Ministry, put down as a dangerous creature. Is that all I am to you, Sirius? Just a creature, a weapon to be used for revenge against enemies?"

"N-No," Sirius stammered, looking at Remus with sincerity in his eyes.

"You say that now, but at the time you were perfectly willing to throw the last six years of friendship away just for a moment to get back at Snape. You know, Sirius, you're more like your family than you think you are."

Sirius looked at him in shock; that was a low blow. But he couldn't deny that Remus was speaking the truth. "I'm sorry," he whispered again.

Remus sighed. "I can't accept that right now. Just leave me alone, okay?"

"Moony ..."

"DON'T CALL ME THAT!" Remus suddenly shouted. "YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO CALL ME THAT ANYMORE!"

This scared Sirius out of his wits; Remus hardly ever raised his voice. But now, he could see the anger in the lycanthrope's eyes, and it was truly a dangerous thing to behold. "Okay," he said sadly. "I'll leave you alone."

"Good," Remus snarled. He pulled the curtains around his bed so that no one would bother him.

When the four Marauders went to bed that night, Sirius lay awake, tossing and turning endlessly. More guilt crashed down upon him as he heard soft sobbing coming from one of the other beds. James and Peter were already asleep, so Sirius knew it was Remus. He'd give anything to go and comfort him, but he knew how the other boy would react. So all he could do was lie there, listening to Remus weeping and feeling the worst he ever had in his whole life.

xxx

An entire month went by, and it was an extremely bad month for Sirius. No one else in the school knew what was going on; he was extremely quiet and did not pull a single prank. The entire student body noticed that the well-loved Marauders had become divided, and Peter was the one always going back and forth to deliver messages to Sirius and then to James and Remus. He also had to hear endless taunts from Snape and his group of cohorts about how the "dream team" had fallen apart. Normally, Sirius would become furious and raise his fists at the other boys, but all the fight in him was gone.

But everything changed again one cold day in December. Quidditch practice had just ended, and it had been yet another one where all James did was stare at him silently. The messy-haired boy had now gone back to the common room, probably to play a game of Exploding Snap with Remus and Peter.

Sirius sat on the bleachers, his misery consuming him. How many times did he have to tell Remus and James he was sorry, he wasn't thinking? But at the same time, he knew that "sorry" could never be enough. If the prank had gone forward, Remus and Snape would probably be dead right now. Two lives would be lost just because of a stupid revenge plan. Sirius sat with his head hunched low, the tears he'd been trying to hide for an entire month spilling forth.

Sirius Black never cried. He'd been taught as a little boy by his family that crying was for the weak, it wasn't something that Blacks indulged in. This had been drilled into his head so firmly, and no matter how much he hated being a Black, the rule had almost been embedded into his skin. If something was really, really bothering him, Sirius laughed, a mirthless, humorless laugh. He'd been doing that for the last month, but now, his resolve crumbled. Forget about being a proper pureblood. Forget about damn family values. All he knew was that he'd gone and blown it, and lost two of the greatest friendships he had ever had.

He didn't know how long he'd been sitting there, tears streaming down his face, when suddenly, he felt a hand on his shoulder. Looking up, he saw the blurry outline of none other than Remus Lupin.

Sirius gaped at the werewolf in shock. Why had Remus sought him out? For a month the other boy hadn't even looked him in the eye, let alone tried to find him. But now, he was looking at him with a sad, concerned expression on his face.

"Remus," Sirius sniffed. "Gods, Rem, I'm so sorry. I know it'll never be enough, and you never want to see me again. I was thinking, do you want me to talk to Professor McGonnagall and see if I can change rooms? I'd rather not bother you, James, and Peter anymore."

Remus looked at him, a myriad of emotions crossing his face. Finally, he whispered something, so quietly that it was barely audible.

"No."

"No, what?" Sirius asked, hardly daring to hope.

"No, I don't want you to change rooms," said Remus softly.

"Why not? You hate me," Sirius said, more tears falling from his eyes.

Remus sat down next to him. "I don't hate you, Sirius," he whispered.

"What?" said Sirius in surprise. "I almost got you killed! You have every right to hate me."

"Look, Padfoot," said Remus, and Sirius's heart clenched at the use of his nickname, "I know how sorry you are, and I admit, I was angry with you for a long time. What you did was very, very wrong, and you hurt me a lot. But I know you, Sirius. I've been friends with you for six years, and I know you don't like to cause harm intentionally. You just have to learn not to be so rash. But I think what's happened has been a good lesson for you. And I just want you to know, I accept your apology."

Sirius looked at him, his eyes lighting up in amazement. "You do?"

"Yes, I do," Remus answered, smiling softly at him.

"Do you think ..." Sirius hesitated.

"Do I think what?"

"Do you think ... we could try again? Try to be friends again? I'm willing to try if you are."

Remus slowly put out his hand for Sirius to shake. "Me, too." He held out his arms, and the two embraced. Sirius couldn't believe his eyes. Remus was his friend again!

"And that goes for me too, mate," said another voice. James Potter whipped off his invisibility cloak, which had been hiding him and Peter. They both went to join the group embrace.

Sirius was overwhelmed that these people were so forgiving. "Thank you," he said in a choked voice. "I know I don't deserve it."

"We all do stupid things," Remus assured him. "And as long as we learn from our mistakes, everything should be fine."

After the group hug, Sirius and Remus got up off the bleachers. "Let's go back into the school," James suggested. "Yeah, I'm starved!" Peter added.

"You're always hungry, Pete!" James laughed. "But okay. C'mon, let's go! Marauders forever!"

So Sirius Black, with his faithful friends at his side once again, made his way back into the school. Things might not be perfect yet between the four of them, but they were well on the way.