A/N: Yo, peoples. For those of you who are new to the convoluted depths of my mind, welcome. For my friends, welcome back.
Normally, when I start a story, I know exactly what I will write about. Not so much this time. I'm writing this as I read the series, so it will likely follow Kubo-san's plot for a few chapters before it takes its own turn. However, feel free to review or PM me with suggestions I'll credit you if I end up using them:).
Also, I will do my best to make this a stand-alone story, but it would help if you are familiar with at least the first 100 chapters of bleach. (And, if you are between chapters 100-167, beware of spoilers!)
Okay, I'm done talking. Here we go…
Chapter One: Breaking Point
-Hinamori Momo
I moved swiftly forward, both my pace and my breath quickening as I rounded the corner. The Central 46 Chamber loomed in front of me; large, imposing – a challenge. I could see neither Matsumoto-san nor Captain Hitsugaya, but I knew they were inside.
Captain Hitsugaya…
Even the thought of his name formed a lump in my throat and sent my thoughts in a whirl of confusion.
Our relationship had not been one that can easily be described. We did have a lot in common. Not only had we grown up together, there was our closeness in age and our prodigious abilities that had made our entrance into the Gotei 13 possible, making him the youngest-ever captain, and I, the youngest lieutenant. I suppose, in an unusual sense of the phrase, I could call him my best friend.
But he had always seemed so…protective of me. Though I cannot imagine why – we are not even of the same company. Despite this, I had always thought…that I could…
…trust him.
But now – everything had changed. All of a sudden, I couldn't trust anyone.
Captain Aizen…
The lump in my throat swelled, and my eyes brimmed with tears, but I swallowed, blinking them back.
The horror of being the first to see my captain's murdered corpse will never leave me; of that I am certain. I felt as though whoever had thrust their blade through his heart had killed me, too. Buried under sorrow and blind rage, my judgment had deserted me. The moment I had seen Captain Ichimaru standing there, with his ever-present disconcerting smile, I had immediately known – or thought I had known – that he was the murderer. Without thinking, I had drawn Tobiume and lunged at him. If Kira-kun had not defended him, I would not have hesitated to kill him. I was even prepared to fight Kira-kun, my friend through all our years of training, but Captain Hitsugaya had ordered us both arrested before we could proceed.
I had been angry then. Why? Why couldn't he let me…? He knows how much Captain Aizen meant to me. My mentor, my guardian – I had always adored him, even before I joined the Gotei 13. But as his assistant captain, he was like – a father to me.
I loved him.
Then, later, Assistant Captain Matsumoto had brought me the letter. Aizen-sama's letter. Again, I had been overcome by emotion, honoured that my captain's last words were for me.
But, as I read it, the horror returned. With the recent events, it nearly made sense, in a twisted way. But I still didn't want to believe it. For, in his own calligraphy, the one my idol had named as his killer was none other than –
Captain Hitsugaya!
-Hitsugaya Tôshirô
Matsumoto and I stood in shock at the sight that lay before us.
The forty-six council members – every single one of them –
Dead.
The entire room reeked with the sour odor of long-dried blood. I did not glance at Matsumoto's face, nor did I need to, for I knew that her thoughts would be evident, and that they would exactly match my own.
Who could have done such a thing? And why?
One thing was grimly certain. Every order we had received from the council for the past several days had not been from the council at all.
The execution date of Kuchiki Rukia being moved ever sooner.
The orders to find and destroy the invading Ryoka.
All from someone else.
Another piece of the puzzle had fallen into place. But only the outside had been filled in. I had yet to find who stood in the gaping hole that was the centre of it all. Aizen's murder, the false orders, the schism of the Gotei 13.
Who?
I, much like Hinamori, had my suspicions of Ichimaru Gin. He possessed not one iota of my trust, and I had outright vowed to kill him if he ever harmed Momo. Though she did not know it I had had her arrested for her own safety. Though she was an adept fighter and highly skilled in the demon arts, she often let her emotions control her – now more so than ever. I could see she would get herself hurt – especially if she strayed too close to Gin. I hadn't any choice, really, but to put her in a cell. I myself had put up the protective shield around it.
Not to keep her inside.
To keep everyone else out.
At that moment, my eyes caught a flicker of movement in one corner of the room, at the same instant Matsumoto hissed, "Tôshirô!"
I saw it then – the flash of a lieutenant's badge bound to his upper arm. Three black slashes indicated the sign of the third company.
"It's Kira!" I shouted, but he was already running.
"Let's go!" I called. "After him, Matsumoto!"
-Hinamori Momo
Though Captain Hitsugaya's shield would work for the purpose of keeping others out, I was determined not to let it keep me in – I had to go after him.
By masking my spiritual pressure, I was able to slip right through the shield. After that, I followed Captain Hitsugaya's footsteps exactly, keeping my spiritual pressure surpressed so I could remain undetected. When the moment was right, I would confront him. I would not rest until I had, at the very least, an explanation.
I had already decided, too, that I would kill him if it became necessary.
-Hitsugaya Tôshirô
Though Matsumoto and I ran with great speed, Kira had had a head start, and we were hard-pressed to catch him.
"Kira!" I yelled out, without slackening pace. "Is this your doing?!"
He didn't even look back as he replied, "I have done nothing here, Captain."
"Then why do you run?!" I called, frustrated.
Abruptly, he stopped and turned, his breathing slightly labored.
"Haven't you realized?" he said. "Don't you know the one you should be concerned about now is – Hinamori?"
My steps faltered, and I stopped in my tracks. Matsumoto, now unsure of what to do, stopped also, although we were now within six feet of Kira.
"What do you mean about Hinamori?" I demanded, fighting back the fear that threatened to break into my voice.
He did not respond right away. In fact, he seemed to be focused entirely on something else.
"Start talking, Kira," ordered Matsumoto.
"Well," he said, slowly and deliberately, "hasn't it occurred to you that a protective shield is only any good if the person inside wants to be protected?"
"What – are – you – saying?" I hissed through gritted teeth.
Kira's voice rang with obvious relish, though, as always, his narrow features betrayed no expression.
"Hinamori – has escaped. She's been following you for hours, Hitsugaya-san."
My chest tightened and, beside me, I heard Matsumoto take in a sharp breath.
At that moment, I realized three glaring truths.
First, if Hinamori was following me so obsessively, given the present circumstances, she must be laboring under some sort of false impression. And I could guess right away what that impression likely was.
She can't think – I killed Aizen?
But there were some who would derive great pleasure from tormenting her by telling her the supposed 'truth'. What if this was told to her so she would avoid me…? No, she would start following me – like now – retracing my trail so relentlessly that she wouldn't even take the time to… look behind her…
…which only reiterated the second truth? Momo was far beyond my help – I couldn't shield her if I couldn't find her, and doubtless she was cloaking her spiritual pressure, or I would know she was gone.
Third…
Kira!
I knew what he had been so focused on.
He was counting seconds.
A distraction!
And if Kira, lieutenant of the third company, was involved, that could only mean…
Ichimaru Gin!
-Hinamori Momo
I could wait no longer. I had to reach him before he left.
I reached the doors of the Central 46 Chamber, then hesitated. I now remembered what had seemed so odd about how Captain Hitsugaya and Matsumoto-san entered.
Always, one needed permission from someone inside the building to enter. From following the pair, I knew they had none.
How, then?
But I had other answers to discover first.
Taking a calming breath, I pushed open the door, and stepped through the narrow, yet towering, doorway.
There were a few steps down a hallway, shrouded in darkness, but then I passed through another doorway and found myself in a room bathed in glaring light.
If only it had been blinding, and then I wouldn't have had to see all the bodies of the council members – all forty-six of them – and the black blood that crusted every surface.
I stifled a shriek and fought to slow my pounding heart.
Hitsugaya-kun?
No, he couldn't!
But Aizen-sama…
All of the blood was dry, so it was impossible for Captain Hitsugaya to have killed them.
It only proves he didn't kill them just now, anyway.
I had to choke back a sob.
Hitsugaya-kun, what have you done?
I took another breath and affirmed my resolve.
I can't weaken now…
At that moment, a hand fell upon my shoulder, capturing me in an unshakeable grip. I was frozen, too frightened to scream.
A cool, mocking voice whispered in my ear: "Welcome, Hinamori." I shuddered, and felt the blood drain from my face.
Captain Ichimaru…
-Hitsugaya Tôshirô
"Matsumoto." I struggled to keep my voice from breaking. "Can you handle him?"
Kira turned and ran; the coward.
"Yes, sir," she replied.
"Then, please –"
"On it!" And then she was gone, running with her feline grace. I was not worried for her – though she may not appear as such, Matsumoto-san was a lethal force in combat. Kira would be no match for her.
But Hinamori versus Gin – Gin was a master of tricks and traps, and Hinamori, inhibited by rage and sorrow as she was, would be more than likely to fall.
Without pausing to regain any strength, I ran back the opposite way, doubling my pace. I could not afford to come too late. I had to arrive before –
--what, exactly?
-Hinamori Momo
At an unspoken command, I followed Captain Ichimaru back across the hall to a much smaller room, this one almost completely dark, lit only in one place by a dusty shaft of light that seemed to spiral down from the one cracked window.
A pressure fell upon my shoulders as I stepped through the door, and my breath caught in my chest. It was like a warning – an overwhelming sense of foreboding that urged me to run away. But the captain guarded the only door. Though he stood almost casually, I knew I was not going to be allowed to leave.
I swallowed, but my voice trembled anyways. "W-why have you brought me here, Captain Ichimaru?"
When the captain of the third company spoke, the note of amusement that always resided in his voice was far more prominent. "Why, there's someone here who wants to see you, Hinamori-chan."
His pretense at friendliness only served to make me even less at ease.
"S-s-someone to s-see – me?"
His smile widened, if that was even possible.
"He's behind you."
I had forgotten how to think, how to move, how to cry out. I could only repeat back what he said to me.
"Behind – me?"
With a feeling of being utterly powerless, I slowly turned my head. Was it even of my own volition?
I would never know.
My eyes were fixed upon the square of light on the floor. A figure, robed in shadows, was barely visible above it.
And then – in the time it took to take one step, in the blink of an eye – I found myself staring up at the face of a man I had never dreamed I would ever see again.
I was overwhelmed by a flood of emotion; my breath came in rapid gasps.
"C-Ca-Captain Aizen!"
He smiled, that warm, gentle smile that had always been able to wash all my troubles away, and didn't fail to do so now.
"Hello, Hinamori-kun."
Drawn to him, I took several steps closer, until we both were coated in the dancing light.
"Captain Aizen – is it really you?" I reached out my hand; I had to touch him, to make sure he was real.
He chuckled softly, a sound that made my heart resonate with joy. He took his own hand and placed it on the top of my head, just as he had always done.
"I am here, Hinamori-kun."
I was full to bursting with happiness, nearly shaking with contained feeling. I wanted to laugh; I wanted to scream with happiness; I wanted to ask a thousand questions; I wanted to throw my arms around him and never, never let go. But I kept it down inside; I would not make a fool of myself in front of my captain.
"There was something I needed to do; something very important," Aizen-sama explained in his wonderful, calming voice – the most beautiful voice in the world. "It required that everyone believed I was dead." Gently, he took my face in his hands and tilted it up so he could look in my eyes. "Everyone."
I nodded, afraid to speak, lest I should say far too much.
"I wanted very much to tell you, Momo. But I wasn't able to. Do you understand?"
I nodded again, closing my eyes to preserve everything about this moment in my memory forever. His warm, gentle hands, cradling my face; the sound of his voice sending shivers dancing over my skin; even his smell comforted me, the smell that represented no tangible thing, that was just him, nothing but him. If I'd had any doubts that this man was an imposter, they vanished the moment I inhaled his scent.
"I can see that you were most concerned for me."
Once more, I nodded, squeezing my eyes shut tighter, but a single teardrop escaped.
"I'm very sorry to have worried you, Hinamori-kun."
I don't mind! I wanted to say. All I care about is that you're alive! You're here and you're alive, and I will never leave your side again, never!
At that moment, I couldn't take it anymore; I burst into tears. I pulled my head away from my captain and buried my face in my own hands, ashamed of my weakness.
But then his strong arms encircled me and held me close as my body shook with sobs. The beating of his heart – his whole, living heart – only made me cry harder.
"I'm s-s-so s-sorry C-Captain." I choked the words out through my tears. "I'm just s-so h-happy that y-you're h-h-here ag-g-gain. S-s-so h-h-ha-happy." And I wrapped my arms around him, too.
I want to stay like this forever...
"Ah, Hinamori…always so faithful – so loyal – so caring," he said, his voice no louder than a whisper. I could feel the vibrations deep in his chest.
"I want you to know, Momo," he said, lowering his voice even more, "that I am truly happy to have you as my subordinate."
There was nothing but him, and his voice, and those words, ringing through me and bringing my elation to higher than what I could have known was possible.
"Thank you, Hinamori-kun. Thank you so much."
I closed my eyes again, fully content. My breathing calmed and slowed, and everything was so quiet, I could hear his lips part to form one final word.
"Goodbye."
My eyes snapped open and my sense of peace was shattered. That one word echoed through my mind.
Goodbye
Goodbye
Goodbye
Goodbye, Hinamori
Goodbye
And, right then, time all but stopped.
I was suddenly aware that Captain Ichimaru had never left the room. He had been there, watching, listening, this entire time, and I could feel his gaze on my back, sending the hairs on my neck into a cold prickle.
He can't be trusted. I should take my captain away from here, where he will be safe. I am no better than a prisoner here in Aizen-sama's arms until I am sure he is safe.
I opened my mouth to speak, but there came only a gasp as I felt a sharp pain in the centre of my chest.
The pain gave way from sharp to excruciating as Aizen-sama's zanpaku-tô pierced my heart.
Time returned to normal then, but it still did not go quickly enough.
It was a terrifying sensation, watching my own blood pool around me. The only reason I was still able to stand is because I was impaled upon Aizen-sama's blade.
No. There has to be a reason. He wouldn't do this to me.
I turned my head to look my captain in the eyes. What I saw was even more horrible than when I thought I had seen him dead. There was love in those eyes, no compassion. They were empty, devoid of all feeling. His mouth lay as a straight, unmoving line. His entire face was a mask of utter indifference.
With my last breath, I gasped, desperate, "It – can't – be."
With my eyes, I begged him to tell me there was a reason. That it was for some greater goo that I had to die. But he didn't even blink as he pulled his zanpaku-tô from my body. Too weak to support myself, I collapsed, feeling my shoulder break as I hit the floor, while my captain watched.
The complete agony I was enduring – the physical as well, but much, much more so the emotional – was too much. The pain threw me over the brink of consciousness and, though I knew I would never again awaken, I did not fight, but let myself fall.