A.N. So I got this idea whilst watching the Greys Anatomy episode where George's dad died. I couldn't help but think how hard it must be to go against every instinct you have as a doctor to actually let someone die, to take them off life support. The result is this story. Also there are Grey's Anatomy quotes added throughout the story like where Meredith does the voice overs on the show, these are mainly between scenes.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Do No Harm

-LILEY-

"My mother used to say that for a surgeon, a day without death is a rare gift. Every day we face death, every day we lose life. And everyday we're hoping for a stay of execution. We're attached to death, chained, like prisoners. Captives." – Meredith Grey

-LILEY-

Dr Lillian Truscott had been training since high school for her career in surgery. It was fast paced and hard work and she loved every second of it but this situation she had no training for. Her best friend since kindergarten had been diagnosed with lung cancer. He had never smoked a day in his life, it was almost impossible to believe you could get lung cancer without smoking but he had it. Surgery had been the best option but the operation to aggressively remove the cancer had not gone well. She had been in the room with Mr. And Mrs. Oken and Miley when her boss, the man who had been her resident when she was an intern, Dr. Hope, had given the news that Oliver would not wake up. She hadn't been able to breathe until Miley had taken her hand in her own and gripped it tightly, tears falling down her face. Lilly had turned to look at Dr. Hope to try and focus the swirling mix of emotions that were running through her. Dr. Hope was explaining that the kindest thing to do would be to take Oliver off life support, that his organs were failing, that he was dying slowing. Mrs. Oken had burst into floods of tears and when she had got herself under control, she had looked to Lilly, the woman who was practically a daughter to her and whispered, "Lillian, what do we do?"

Lilly hadn't known what to say to that, she had sat with her mouth opening and closing with no words coming out, part of her wanting to scream that he would wake up, he had to wake up but the doctor in her knowing he never would until Miley had finally spoken up.

"Oliver is in pain Mrs. Oken" she said with tears still running down her face, "Like that, he's not the 'smokin Oken' we love and ..." Miley couldn't finish her sentence but instead turned to lean into Lilly's shoulder burying her face in the crook of her neck. Lilly took a deep breath and finished what Miley had started.

"He won't wake up, Mrs. O. His body just can't cope. The only decision you have to make is whether you want Ollie to go now or later in more pain" she couldn't sugar coat this and she knew that the usually tough Detective Oken would appreciate her honesty. She nodded her head and looked at her husband, who had still to say anything.

"She's right Owen, he wouldn't want us to let him suffer like this" she whispered. He finally moved his head to look and he wife and slowly nodded in agreement.

-LILEY-

"We go into medicine because we want to save lives. We go into medicine because we want to do good. We go into medicine for the rush... for the high... for the ride. But, what we remember at the end of most days are the losses. What we lay awake at night replaying is the pain we caused or failed to cure. The lives we ruined or failed to save. So the experience of practicing medicine rarely resembles the goal. The experience too often is ass backwards and upside down" – Meredith Grey

-LILEY-

And that's how Lilly came to be stood at the side of her oldest friend's bed as her mentor removed the tube connecting him to the life support system. She wanted to scream at Dr. Hope that he shouldn't take that away, that it would kill her friend. She choked down the words and squeezed Miley's hand as she was stood by her once again. As Dr. Hope moved away from the bed Lilly and Miley came to stand next to his left shoulder and took his hand between theirs. They watched as Mr. And Mrs. Oken both whispered goodbye's to their son and then it was their turn.

"Bye Smokin Oken" Lilly whispered, "Give the ladies a break up there, yeah?" she smiled and leant down to kiss his forehead.

"Yeah let's retire the Ollie Trolley" Miley half laughed as she too leant down to kiss his forehead, "I love you donut" she whispered.

"I love you too Ollie" Lilly added. Her eyes turned to the monitor as she heard the unmistakable sound of the heart flat lining on the screen. She again had to fight against her instinct to call a code blue and start saving the man lying there. God, it was her job to save people, she took the damn Hippocratic oath! She was supposed to do no harm, but surely this was harm, surely she hadn't spent years of her life learning procedures for it all to fail her when she needed it the most. She was still fighting the instinct when Dr. Hope turned off the monitor, silencing the room. She could barely hear a word as he called time of death.

Oliver was dead.

Her oldest friend ... was gone.

She's never be able to call him in the middle of the night because her secret was dragging her down and endlessly debate the pro's and con's of spilling said secret to the person the secret was about. Then it hit her, she was now the only one who knew. Lilly looked down at Oliver's white face and almost retched. This couldn't be happening. She stumbled away from the bed, wrenching her hand from Miley's. She barely heard Miley's concerned voice asking if where she was going before she was out of the door and running fast down the corridor. She didn't know where she was going, she didn't care how she was supposed to be with Mr. And Mrs. Oken. She just wanted to put as much space as possible between her and ... Oliver.

The day rolled by slowly. Lilly had ended up at some small beach she had never been to before and had sat on the rocks, watching the waves with tears flowing down her face. She knew Miley would be worried sick, she knew that Oliver's parents would be heartbroken because she had promised she would be there through it all and she had just bailed. Oliver would never forgive her if she continued to behave like this, but Oliver was dead, what did it matter anymore. As the day wore on, she found herself thinking about the last conversation she had with Oliver. It had been the night before his surgery and they were alone in his hospital room as Miley had gone to the canteen for something to eat with the Oken's. Lilly had volunteered to stay with Oliver.

(FLASHBBACK)

"So Lilly" he smiled at her, "When are you gonna tell her?" he asked with a smirk.

"Oliver" she sighed as she rolled her eyes.

"Don't give me that look, Dr Truscott" he told her firmly, "You're 30 years old. You've been dancing around your feelings for practically half your life and if there's one thing that this experience has taught me, it's that life is too short to be worried about what other people think. You've just gotta do whatever it takes to make yourself happy and SHE would make you happy"

"She already does Oliver, I don't care what anybody else thinks, only her"

"Then tell her already" he told her.

"I can't, what if she reacts like my dad did?"

"Ok, one she knows your gay, it's not gonna come as a huge shock to her that you have a crush, after all she knows you're not exactly as pure as the driven snow and two, she would never abandon you and three, if you're still hung up on her you're never gonna be able to find anyone else" he reasoned.

"I don't want anyone else, just her, I'm happy being the best friend, the one who knows her best ..." she tried to reason.

"That's bullshit Lilly!" Oliver exclaimed suddenly, "You and I both know that you're not happy just being her friend, you want all of her but aren't willing to give up the part you have and gamble on everything! It's worth the damn risk and I want you to promise me right here, right now, that you WILL tell Miley Stewart EXACTLY how you feel!" There were several seconds of shocked silence as Lilly stared at Oliver. "I'm not messing around Lilly, if I don't make it through this then ..."

"Oliver stop it!" she said forcefully, she could not hear that Oliver was even thinking that he may die.

"Lilly, you're a doctor, you know the odds, IF I don't make it through this" he put up his hand to stop any further objections, "Not that I'm not gonna be fighting as hard as I can to stay with you guys, but I want to know that you won't withdraw from Miley or anyone else from that matter. You have to promise that you'll tell her either way"

"You have to fight" she said.

"I will" he promised. She looked at him for a few more seconds before finally speaking.

"Alright, I'll tell her" she frowned, "But only if you fight your hardest to beat this thing"

"That goes without saying but Lils, if the worst comes to the worst, don't leave me here to suffer, make my parents let me go"

"That's enough with the depressing talk" Lilly said firmly, "Everything's gonna be fine, Dr. Hope is performing the surgery and he's the best so let's talk about when you're gonna make detective like your mom"

(END OF FLASHBACK)

That was the last time they spoke alone, she had made a promise to Oliver. Now she had to decide whether she was ready to lose her other best friend in an equally painful way. She stood and dusted the sand off her trousers.

"You better know something I don't Oken" she whispered to the open sea before turning, hoping against hope for a good outcome and started to make her way home.

-LILEY-

"As surgeons, we live in a world of worse case scenarios. We cut ourselves off from hoping for the best because too many times the best doesn't happen. But every now and then something extraordinary occurs and suddenly best case scenarios seem possible. And every now and then something amazing happens, and against our better judgment we start to have hope." – Meredith Grey

-LILEY-

It was about an hour later that she arrived back at the apartment she shared with Miley to see said brunette pacing their living room. As she walked in, Miley looked up at the opening of the door and let out a huge sigh of relief.

"Thank God" she yelled and rushed over to her and engulfed her in a bone crushing hug, "Where did you go? I was so worried"

"I just had to get away for a while and think, I'm not sure exactly where I ended up ... some beach" she said.

"You should have called" Miley admonished as she finally broke the hug and led Lilly over to the sofa where they both sat down. There were several minutes of silence as both women stared at each other and didn't break the contact between their hands. Lilly took a deep breath, it was now or never time.

"Miley," she began, "I made a promise to Oliver that I would tell you something and I have to see it through" her voice broke slightly as she said his name but she kept on looking straight at Miley. She nodded.

"I have to tell you something too, Oliver made me make a promise" she smiled, "But you go first"

"Well ... I'm not sure exactly how to say this without you freaking out on me so I guess I'll just say it ... I'm in love with you Miley Stewart, you're the first thing I think of in the morning, the last thing I think of at night and you occupy every thought in between. I've felt like this forever and although I know that nothing will ever happen, I had to tell you. I can't spend the rest of my life waiting anymore. Oliver was right" she was rambling and she knew it but she couldn't seem to stop, "Since I met you, I knew you were different, you were just so ... you. You've supported me through every major part of my life, from my parent's divorce, high school, med school and now ... this. But you were also there for me when I first came out, you didn't abandon me despite my dad turning on me for it. So my point is that I know you don't feel that way for me so I guess we should just forget it, yeah, we should just forget I ever brought it up because ..."

Lilly's rambling was cut off my Miley placing a finger on her lips, which caused Lilly to look up at Miley since she had first started talking. She was surprised to see tears falling from her eyes.

"Lilly, be quiet" she laughed, "Oliver is ... was quite a sneaky boy, I love you too" she admitted, causing Lilly's world to stop for the briefest second.

-LILEY-

"Some days ... the whole world seems upside down. And then somehow, and probably, and when you least expect it, the world rights itself again." – Meredith Grey

-LILEY-

Miley moved her hand from Lilly's lips to cup her jaw. "How long did he know?" she asked.

"Since we were about 18" Lilly managed to croak out, not quite believing what she was hearing. Miley laughed again at this.

"We are quite a pair" she shook her head softly in disbelief, "I told Oliver when we were about 20. I had had way too much vodka one night during college, you had an exam the next day and I told him. He stayed up with me whilst I cried all night because I was so sure I'd never have a chance with you. He's kept trying to get me to tell you all these years. And he knew that we both loved each other" she chuckled in irony as her thumb softly brushed against her cheek. "I'm sorry Lilly, I should have told you years ago that I was bi, I just didn't know how to tell you when you were so brave coming out to your family, and I didn't want to think how to deal with people finding out about Hannah ... I've been stupid, forgive me?" she asked. Lilly was speechless for a few minutes but when she finally found her tongue she spoke softly.

"You love me?" she asked.

"Yes I do" Miley confirmed, staring into Lilly's eyes, "I think I always have". There was another pause as Lilly digested this. Miley loved her, she really loved her! Oliver had known all these years and every time he told her he KNEW she should tell Miley, wasn't him being optimistic, he had actually KNOWN it. She could have everything she had ever wanted, right now, forever. Miley watched as Lilly's face remained impassive and started to grow unsure. She dropped her gaze and instead stared at their hands. "I mean I don't expect you to forgive me, I wasn't honest and if this means that I screwed up our friendship or potential relationship by not being honest, then I understand, I'll just grab my stuff and ..."

"Shut Up" Lilly said suddenly. Miley's gaze snapped back up to Lilly's, "Just ... shut up" Lilly finally smiled and pulled Miley to her in a heart stopping kiss. She kept up the momentum causing her to fall back onto the sofa with Miley falling on top of her, crushing them together. Lilly groaned in pleasure as Miley settled between her legs and she pressed her lips harder against Miley's. The passionate kissing lasted for several long moments until Lilly started to slow the kisses down, lingering her kisses on Miley's lips, making her really feel them and eventually stopping as she rested her forehead against Miley's. "I love you so much" she whispered, almost brushing her lips against Miley's again as they were that close. "Please don't ... please don't leave me" she choked out as the tears once again, started pouring down her face. Miley started crying too as she saw this and gently wiped them away.

"I'll never leave you" Miley said, firmly before placing a kiss on Lilly's cheek, "No matter what happens to me, I'm a part of you just like you are of me and ... and Oliver is of us both. He'll never leave us either"

"Never?" she asked.

"Never" Miley confirmed.

"So what does this mean?" Lilly asked, "I mean I know that I want it to mean, but you have commitments, and I have com..." Lilly was silenced by a short kiss.

"I want us to be together, we've wasted too much time" Miley said.

"But what about your family? I mean I know what my family thinks but Mr. S and Jackson don't ..." she started.

"Lilly, they just want me to be happy, I've always been happiest with you" Miley told her, "I'm sure this won't come as much of a shock to them, as they know how happy you make me"

"I just want you to be sure" Lilly whispered. Miley stared at her for a few minutes until she finally spoke again.

"I'm sure of you" she answered as she looked into Lilly's eyes. Lilly smiled, that was all she needed to know. She placed a small kiss on Miley's lips and stood but paused as she held her hand out for Miley to take which she did.

"I'm ready to get some rest, how about you?" she asked.

"Well ... I'm not sure on the rest part but I'm following you" Miley smirked as Lilly blushed at the innuendo but didn't miss a beat as she tugged Miley to her feet and towards her bedroom.

The last coherent thought from both women that night was a prayer and thanks for Oliver, the most patient and loyal friend in the world.

-LILEY-

"Change; we don't like it, we fear it, but we can't stop it from coming. We either adapt to change or we get left behind. And it hurts to grow, anybody who tells you it doesn't is lying. But here's the truth: the more things change, the more they stay the same. And sometimes, oh, sometimes change is good. Oh, sometimes, change is ... everything." – Meredith Grey

-LILEY-

The End.

A.N. I hope ya liked this, I just couldn't get the idea out of my head, please review :D thanks Nicki xoxo