Okay, so I got bored and, as usual, I started to write a story and, as usual, Vince and Howard are in it (though, granted, they're not exactly acting like typical Vince and Howard). It is a one shot… but I may be tempted to continue with it depends if it calls to me or not. Though, I may not to continue it because I find it hard to write in the present tense so I wasn't really sure whether to post it or not. Especially as people are probably fed up of me by now and I can't blame them. I'm fed up of me - I will stop bombarding you with stories soon. I promise.

However, for now, let's just do the disclaimers:

I pretty much own everything (including you, the reader) except all things Boosh. They're owned by two blokes from London and Leeds… just try and guess who they are.

Also, 'Ain't it fun' is a song - not sure who by but GnR covered it :D

And it's done! A life's worth of planning, a decade's worth of pretending, a days worth of destruction. Now I have everything I need… everything I deserve. I took Naboo's spell books first. I released Nanatoo but this time, this time I was clever, this time I learnt how to control her. It is Nanagedon, but it's my Nanagadon, the Nana's do as I please. They destroy who I want to destroy, they destroy those who almost destroyed me.

Bob Fossil: needle through the neck.
Naboo: bus pass through the forehead
Bollo: they just knitted his fur into a cardigan and he's gone into hiding with shame.
Saboo: tea cup through the stomach
Dennis, Kirk: killed by a zimmerframe
Tony Harrison: dunked like a tea bag into scolding tea.
And
Howard: that was more difficult than I had anticipated.

Don't tell the other guys in the gang but I haven't done it yet… but I will, don't go thinking I'm soft, I'm not! And don't go thinking I like him - he's an idiot, got it? But I couldn't let the Nana's have him, it didn't seem right.

I can hear him now, he's kicking and squirming in the boot.

"Help." he shouts "Vince, Vince. What's going out?"

"Shut up or I'll shoot you!" I shout back, but he doesn't believe me. He's naïve.

"You don't have a gun Vince."

"How many times?! My name is not Vince! That's fake! Like everything else. Like our friendship. Like me! You don't think people are actually like Vince, do you? Oh no, he was cleverly conjured up by me and the guys. The prefect man, innocent, naïve, a bit stupid, very likable. I am nothing like Vince. I don't even have long hair, that was fake too. And my friends aren't fashion-obsessed electro freaks, they're clever, hard faced, cold-hearted gangsters… and they're coming. You better keep quiet now. If they find you they'll kill you. In fact, they'll probably kill both of us."

I can hear them outside the van. Ricky (the brains) , Jonny (the American computer geek), Edward (the upper-class English money) and Roger (the back street thug) all talking. Where do I fit in? I'm the field man, the face. The one people see, the one people like, the one that no one believes is part of a gang like ours. A gang that is not only after money but is also after world domination.

"It done?" asks Ricky sticking his head through my window. I nod, silently, nervously.

"Excellent." he sneers "And you're flat mates?"

"Dead." I lie.

"Even better. You know what Kid? I thought you'd bottle it. Thought I'd have to send Ricky round to finish the job. You did good."

"Don't tell him that." growls Roger "He'll get big headed. And god knows he annoying enough without it."

"Get lost!" I scowl. "Camden people love me."

"No. They loved Vince. You Kid, are no Vince. You're a washed up orphan with a messed up mind and no friends." Roger says. I hate him. Although, I think he's jealous of me. He wants to be Ricky's favourite and everyone knows that Ricky's favourite is me.

"Hey guys." Jonny's geeky face pears into the car. "Edward thinks he can hear something in the boot. Just pop the trunk so I can show him he's deluded. I tell you what the sooner we can pop a cap in his head the better. I know he's rich but, flaming hell, can't we just take his money and kill him."

"He ain't so bad." I say, but I immediately regret it. We all pick on Edward, it's what we do. We're not supposed to show him sympathy, not even a bit.

"Steady on Kid." Ricky thumps me hard on the shoulder "you're beginning to sound like Vince."

"Screw you." I snap, spitting at his shoes.

"And you're back." Ricky says, a small grin pulls at the corners of his mouth. I told you he likes me. He'd have killed anyone else for doing that. Instead, he just wipes the saliva on Roger's trouser leg, and says

"Open the boot then Kid. Shut Edward up."

I panic.

"I… c-can't" I falter, I stutter. I don't know what to do but I can't let them see Howard.

"Why not?" asks Roger, he cocks his eyebrow. Oh no! He can smell fear.

"It's… broken."

"No problem." Roger's sneering now. He's happy and he's only happy when he's inflicting pain on others. "I can just force it open, I'll get the crowbar from the van."

"No!" I scream. I'm stupid.

"No?" Ricky asks. "What's got into you Kid?"

"Nothing." But I'm nervous, I'm going red. They know something's up. They're too sharp for my stupid lies.

"He's lying, the trunk ain't broken." Roger smirks, "Open it." He's pointing a gun at my head so I have no choice. I push the button, the boot clicks open and Edward opens it. He screams.

Roger, Jonny and Edward run to the boot. So I get out of the car and run too. They've seen him. Howard. I try to act as shocked as them but they can see right through me. They turn away from me and talk in hushed voices, as though I can't hear them.

"He lied to us Rick." Roger snarls, he glares at me over his shoulder.

"I know, but it doesn't matter. It's not too bad. We'll just kill this one now and everything will be fine." He's looking at Howard as though he's never seen anything more inconvienient. Howard looks at me, his eyes are wide and terrified. He doesn't know what's happening, but I don't care… I don't! All those times we spent together were just lies, he's not my friend. I don't like him… I don't!

"You can't do this!" Roger is furious. "We should shoot both of 'em." He walks towards me and pulls a gun from his jacket pocket. He points it at my head and snarls "We can't trust him anymore."

"Don't tell me what I can and can't do, Roge!" I told you he likes me, he can't help himself, even when he hates me - he still prefers me to the others. "I will have you killed. Anyway, the Kids got control of Nanagedon, if we lose him we lose everything. We'll deal with him later." He glowers at me. "But you can shoot this idiot." He points at Howard. Roger grins. This is the moment he's been waiting for. He hasn't killed anyone in a while and he had always wanted to kill the flatmates but the Nana's got their first. I got there first and he hates me for it.

Roger moves the gun from my direction and points it at Howard. Howard's wriggling and squirming with fear. He's mumbling through his gag. His eyes are wide, they are shining. His face is shining too, little beads of sweat trickling down his forehead. His hair is plastered to his forehead. He's so scared… so, so scared. And Roger's grinning. He's delighted. He loves doing this. He's taking his time, he's toying with Howard… slowly cocking the gun. His finger's on the trigger.

BANG!

Thanks for reading!

Sisi...xx