Title: Free to Fly
Warnings: Song Fic, slightly angsty, 3x4.
Disclaimers: I don't own any of the Gundam Wing boys, but they are so much fun to play with. The song 'You Can Still Be Free' belongs to Savage Garden so sadly not mine either.
Notes: Ok, so Siren really went nuts on this idea. She basically insisted I write a fic to as many Savage Garden songs as I can manage. This is the third of mostly non connected fics. I just hope I've done those Australian boys justice to their fantastic songs. Also this is the first 3x4 only fic I've ever written. I thought I'd have a change for once, so feedback would be wonderful thank you. Not dark like the last one you will be glad to hear I'm sure!
Bold denotes lyrics
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Cool breeze and autumn leaves
Slow motion daylight
A lone pair of watchful eyes
Oversee the living
It was cool on the top of the hill now that autumn had arrived. The trees all around had become gold and garnet, painting a beautiful picture of colour on the countryside below. The sun was gradually setting, casting long shadows and making the ruddy colours all the more intense with the watercolour of pastels across the sky.
The whole world seemed to slow down at this time of day, as if it lingered in slow motion, trying to hold onto the suns rays for just a little longer before night finally took over. The breeze had picked up slightly and was playing around with a few leaves, rolling them around and tossing them in the air before dropping them at a single figure's feet. Shoulders slumped forward and head lowered, he looked like a man with the whole world pressing on his back.
The breeze picked up once more, this time tugging at a coat, a loose shirt, blond bangs. The playing went completely unnoticed as large, teal eyes gazed at the houses down below. Watching as people came home from their jobs, greeted their families, laughing loudly. Watching as life went on while his stood still. What he wouldn't give to be like those people down there. Just to be able to go on with life. To be… normal.
Feel the presence all around
A tortured soul
A wound unhealing
Trowa watched his friend from a distance, not wanting to disturb the blond from his thoughts. He could almost see the emotions radiating off of Quatre, could feel them without the Arabian saying a word. Quatre had never forgiven himself for what he did to Trowa in the war. Sending him off into the cold of space after destroying the blue suit he had been piloting at the time, the Vayeate. Even after all this time the blond still couldn't forget that moment. Trowa knew that was what he was thinking about. When he had been like this before, so withdrawn, every time Quatre had looked at him, he could see the anger and self loathing burning in his eyes.
Quatre was like a broken ornament. He had been fragile to begin with, like spun glass. But now Trowa needed to know how to fix him. He would never be perfect again. He would always carry the scars. But he needed to heal. It pained Trowa to see his love interest so tortured. It would have been just as painful to see Quatre physically bleeding. Perhaps this was worse, as there was no physical injury to see. The blond would never admit it, to himself and certainly not to Trowa himself; he needed the tall, silent Latin.
No regrets or promises
The past is gone
But you can still be free
If time will set you free
Trowa walked steadily over to Quatre, making noise so as not to surprise his friend. Quatre looked up at him. Trowa's heart broke seeing those feelings in the teal eyes once more. The tall youth looked out at the darkening landscape before breaking the silence that stood between them.
"Quatre. You need to forget about the past. You cannot regret what happened. We all made mistakes." There was a pause. Still looking forwards Quatre finally spoke,
"I can't Trowa. You know I can't." Trowa turned his head to look down at his Arabian friend.
"Quatre. I'm still here beside you and although I can't promise that I will always be here, that would be a fool's promise, I'm here now." He was sure he could see tears forming in the teal eyes. "It's all in the past. It's gone. There's nothing you can do to change it. Learn from it and move on. Stop regretting what has happened and live for now and what will come."
Time now to spread your wings
To take to flight
The life endeavour
Quatre finally turned and gazed up into the single, visible emerald eye.
"How can I forget something like that? I hurt you. I will never forgive myself for it. It doesn't matter that you regained your memory. That you came back. I still failed you." His breathing hitched, suggesting that he was holding back from crying. He turned away again, trying to keep control of himself. Trowa held his arm and turned him back,
"If you don't forget you can't move on. You need to move on. Do you remember the time we first met?" Quatre gave a half smile,
"Of course. I will never forget that." Trowa returned the smile.
"Remember when we played music together, how that made you feel." There was a shine that lit up his eyes for a moment,
"Like I was flying. I was free." The Arabian's voice was a whisper.
"Remember the good memories Quatre. Forget the hurt, move on. If it helps, let our music guide you." Trowa could clearly see tears running down the pale cheeks now. It was the only emotion Quatre had shown him for a while. Quatre had become cold lately. Not cruel or angry just… detached. The memory of his past had been eating him alive.
Trowa longed for happy, innocent Quatre once more. But that didn't stop him loving the blond. That was why this was so important. Maybe at last he could tell Quatre in words, his feelings for him. Perhaps that was what Quatre needed to heal.
Aim for the burning sun
You're trapped inside
But you can still be free
If time will set you free
But it's a long long way to go
His voice sounded as broken as he looked,
"Trowa. I feel so trapped. I can't let it go. I try to be happy, but it's just a mask. A mask that's crumbling." Trowa hesitated for a moment before running his fingers through hair of spun gold.
"I know. That's why I'm here. To give you something to aim for. To help you pull yourself out of this darkness you have let yourself fall into. I don't expect you to do this alone. It will take time, but all wounds heal with time Quatre. I'm just here to start the process."
"Trowa… I…" He didn't know what to say. What could he say? He had switched the tall youth off lately. Didn't want him to get close and yet the more he pushed the more he fell into despair. He was slowly beginning to understand what Trowa truly meant to him. Trowa was what made him happy, and the emerald eyed Latin was there with him. That was true. Could he really free himself?
Keep moving way up high
You see the light
It shines forever
The Latin looked uncomfortable for a moment, as if contemplating something.
"What is it?" Watery eyes looked up at him. The last remnants of sun turned his hair to pure gold, casting a halo around his head. At that moment Trowa truly believed he had fallen in love with an angel. Faults or no, Quatre was the most beautiful thing he had ever looked upon. It was an ethereal moment but it strengthened his resolve. He had always loved Quatre, from the moment he had met him. Now he had to save him.
"I have something to tell you." His voice was low but calm. Quatre looked a little worried about what he might say. He gulped slightly.
"What is it?" Trowa made Quatre face him completely and held on to his upper arms. It was more to steady him than to hold Quatre. The blond raised his hand and held the sweep of brunette hair away from Trowa's face so he could look into both eyes for once. Somehow he knew that whatever the Latin was about to say, it was important. He wanted to see all of Trowa's face for this. Trowa couldn't help the smile that tugged at his lips from the action.
"I have seen the light Quatre. It shines brighter than any star we have ever seen. That light is you." He paused, taking a shaky breath. "I want you to forget because I don't want to see you hurt anymore. I want you Quatre because… I love you."
Sail through the crimson skies
The purest light
The light that sets you free
If time will set you free
He could see Quatre crumpling as those words sank in. On his knees the blond looked down at the leaves that surrounded him. His arms still held by strong hands, he had become a rag doll. Trowa knelt down in front of him.
"Quatre? Say something. Anything." Quatre finally looked up. Tears poured from his eyes leaving silver salt trails down his cheeks. But what took Trowa's breath away was the bright smile that lit up his face. A smile he hadn't seen the like of for a long time. The blond practically glowed in the sunset. Quatre raised shaking hands and held Trowa's face, running a thumb across his cheek.
"I love you too." His voice was shaking but the smile bellied any fear. Both of them knelt up and met each other in a fierce kiss tasting of tears. It was their first step to healing and freedom.
Sail through the wind and rain tonight
You're free to fly tonight
And you can still be free
If time will set you free
Darkness surrounded them like a comfort blanket. The rain pattered irritably against the window. The downpour had begun just after sunset. They had been inside by then. It was a silent but mutual consent that they would consummate their relationship this night, now that they had really found each other.
The first view of naked bodies had each other blushing but far from stopping. They both took time to learn each others weak spots, what the feel of the others skin felt like, what they each liked receiving. Fluttering kisses, languid licks, playful bites. They soon had each other moaning for more.
It was decided that for their first time Trowa would take the lead, as it was he who had brought them together in the first place. Quatre also made it very clear that he would take the lead the next time. Trowa, amid kisses, agreed. They both knew there would be a next time and many more after.
Finding the tube of lube he had hidden in the drawer, Trowa took a moment to look at his lover. He never thought he would have Quatre like this. He had dreamed of it of course but reality was far beyond any of his imaginings. The Arabian was truly breathtaking. Trowa took his time to prepare the blond, knowing the first time could be uncomfortable. It was only when he had Quatre clawing at the sheets and moaning loudly did he prepare himself. Quatre gazed up at him with large eyes, willing him on. It was only when they were completely joined did they really and truly understand how right they were together. They had both waited too long.
And going higher than mountain tops
And go high the wind won't stop
And go high
Trowa soon had his lover moaning loudly and clinging on to him as if his life depended on it. Trowa knew to an extent, it did. Thoughts were lost to them as they spiralled together; working themselves up to a frenzy they knew couldn't last.
Together they flew in the darkness, in each others arms. They were both beyond thought but not beyond feeling. With a guttural moan Trowa found his release. Quatre found his quickly after. Both fell off the cliff into oblivion without looking back. Trowa collapsed half over his lover, Quatre wrapping his arms tightly around Trowa, never wanting to let go. Their heavy pants mixing with the sound of tapping rain.
Gazing at each other in the darkness, no words were necessary. They may have fallen over the edge but they had not fallen back to earth. While they had each other they would never land. Together they would fly into the sunset. Together they would be free.
Free to fly tonight
Free to fly tonight