Warnings: None! :0
Notes: The first part of this oneshot is directly from All Out Assassin Attack, but the rest is new. It's a companion piece but not necessary to understand AOAA. This is my 50th fic (yayness) and one of my favorites. Please enjoy!

Serpentine

"Loki, you are banished." Odin said, eyes glowing in a way they hadn't before.

"No! You can't--what about Sigyn? What about the twins? You can't force me to abandon Narfi and Vali like you forced me to abandon my other children! You just can't! Why, Odin? What have I done?" Loki asked, tearing up.

"You killed Baldur." Odin answered, red eyes not meeting Loki's green gaze.

"It was self-defense! No, you can't do this to me!" Loki said as he was flung from Asgard.

He landed on Midgard, his powers still remaining for now. He tried to think of his options. He didn't know how to return to Asgard, and Sigyn couldn't help him. He was utterly alone.

"Just like your children." Something inside him whispered. "The children you abandoned."

Loki gripped his head, feeling utterly miserable and helpless. He should have never let Odin take his children, he should have freed them centuries ago. Everything was so wrong.

Consumed by his guilt, he tried to think of a solution.

"Go to Midgard until you can find a way back. You can use your remaining magic to build a home and you'll still have enough to defend yourself if he sends assassins. That one Midgard country with all the fish seems like a good option." That voice had to be his brain, he decided.

"But won't it be lonely?" He felt his heart breaking again. "No Sigyn, no Narfi, no Vali, no Fenrir, no Hel, no Midgardsormr...you'll be all alone in a world you don't know."

"You have enough power left to bring one of them with you..." His brain suggested.

He felt his heart beating rapidly. He had enough power to bring one of them with him. But Sigyn and the twins were still in Asgard, and he was already on Midgard. Hel was deep beneath him, guarding the afterlife. Odin would never harm her because her job was so precious. Fenrir could defend himself easily--he had, after all, eaten Tyr's hand already.

But Midgardsormr...? He was a giant snake, but he was also quiet and helpless. Loki often felt that he had done worse to Midgardsormr than his other children because Midgardsormr was in the middle. Loki and Angrboda's attention had always fallen to the other siblings.

He also couldn't be held and he didn't talk. He was the least fortunate of Loki's children.

Determined, Loki got to his feet and focused on transporting himself to Midgardsormr's location.

X

He finally reached the cliff overlooking the ocean. The giant snake rose to meet him, sadness in his eyes. Even Midgardsormr had heard of Loki's banishment.

"Midgardsormr, would you like to take a journey with me?" Loki asked.

The snake was again surprised. A journey with his father? His father had chosen him over Fenrir, Hel, Sleipnir, and the twins? Why?

"Please? I've been banished, but I don't want to be alone. I'm going to Midgard--to a nice country by the sea. I know you know the feeling of loneliness, and I want to make it up to you. Please, Midgardsormr." The god of fire said, lowering his head. "Let me free you and come with me."

Midgardsormr just nodded, though he wasn't sure what Loki's intentions were.

"That's wonderful..." Loki said, incredibly relieved. "I hope this doesn't hurt. It'll only be like this until I find a solution." He used some of his magic to decrease the snake's size and break the prison. Picking up the now average-sized serpent, he headed to Midgard.

X

The old woman had died a natural death and her land was up for auction. There was no will or heirs.

The land wasn't expensive and the auction wasn't well-attended, so it was easy to conjure some yen and buy the large plot along the streets of Japan. The tall man with a snake on his shoulder stepped onto his newly purchased grounds and waved his hands, chanting something.

A neighbor living in a house down the street was surprised to find the next morning that a mansion had literally appeared overnight. A boy of about fourteen, with a snake on his shoulder, was nailing up a sign that said "Enjaku Detective Agency".

Loki sighed. "Midgardsormr, I'm becoming younger with the more magic I use. It's very odd...but hopefully with a detective agency, I'll be able to gather evil and gain my powers back. It shouldn't take long."

The snake just blinked.

"I can't leave you like this, though...I don't know what to do with you. I can't restore you to your normal size..." He entered the fully furnished mansion and fell onto a couch. "Any ideas?"

Midgardsormr glanced over at a bookshelf, remembering the books Sigyn had read to him. He slithered off Loki's shoulder and towards the shelf, knocking a book on the bottom row onto the floor.

Loki stood up and approached the book as the snake rolled on the pages, managing to flip them with his tail.

He finally reached the page in question and tapped his tail against it.

Loki picked the book and his son up, placing Midgardsormr on his shoulder, and began to read. "As soon as the princess kissed the frog, he became a handsome human man."

"You want to be human?" He asked, wondering if he had enough magic left. "Really?"

The snake hissed affirmatively.

The god sighed. "Okay, but it might hurt. You'll also have to learn speech, how to walk, how to--"

The snake put his tail in Loki's mouth and moved his head around, indicating that he understood what was necessary.

Loki placed Midgardsormr on the couch and stood up, moving away. "Okay, but no complaining later." As his son closed his eyes, ready for the worst, Loki tried to think of a spell.

He had never really considered turning his children into humans before because it seemed wrong to change who they were. After Odin imprisoned Fenrir and Midgardsormr, he feared that it would make Odin angry. After all, turning them into humans meant freeing them. Still, the situation called for it.

He made up the spell and invoked the ancient runes. He made sure to specify that clothes appear as well. His son began to tremble and make odd noises, hissing as his eyes spun around.

Loki watched in horror, wondering what he had done. Finally, a burst of light and smoke filled the room and a large THUMP met Loki's ears.

Loki blinked, glancing down at himself. He had become younger again. He had to be about nine now. He rolled up his sleeves and made his way through the smoke until he saw what he had done.

Midgardsormr had become a human man with long green hair. He was wearing a black suit thanks to the clothing specification Loki had added in on the spell. Midgardsormr was also on the floor, having rolled off the couch. Thus the thump.

As his son woke up, Loki found that Midgardsormr couldn't stand. "Are you feeling okay? It worked pretty well." Loki commented as the former snake became confused by his own hair.

The god in child form helped Midgardsormr up and smiled. "Now, as promised, I have to teach you how to talk and interact with humans. You'll need a name too."

The radio chimed in helpfully. "That's all we know about the strange string of robberies. Now here's Keiko Yamino with the weather."

A female voice replied. "Thank you, Ryusuke-san."

Loki and Midgardsormr exchanged glances. Maybe this wouldn't be so hard after all...

X

"Okay." A childish Loki said, crossing his arms. "So we've decided upon your name. Ryusuke Yamino."

Midgardsormr gave a slight nod with his human head as he tried to keep his balance from his position on the couch of the newly-created Enjaku Agency.

Loki watched as his son, new to humanity, bent his fingers uncertainly. Midgardsormr never spoke but perhaps humanity would change all that.

"I'll have to teach you how to talk, how to walk, how to interact with humans..." Loki said to himself, earning a frightened glance from his son.

"Don't worry, you'll be fine. There are things about humanity that are...nice. Plus, you are a demigod. You should learn faster than humans."

The former snake looked away, towards the fallen book about the frog prince. He struggled to pick it up, but finally succeeded and stared at the page.

"At least you can read." Loki commented softly, reminded of Sigyn's efforts to teach the snake basic literature. His wife had worked for months with the snake. "Let's work on speaking. You need to mimic my mouth's movements. Just try it." He wasn't quite sure how to teach his son to speak, but this way seemed simple enough.

"Ryu..." Loki started slowly. "Ryu...Ryu..."

Midgardsormr moved his lips in the same motion but no sound came out. He frowned, growing confused.

The god of fire sighed, trying to remember how Fenrir had learned to speak. Midgardsormr had the same chances to do so, but he never picked up on speech.

The radio chimed in helpfully. "You can now get the super-ultra-amazing dust removing cloth--removes it like magic--for 2000 yen! That's right, only 2000 yen! But you'll have to act now because these deals will sell out soon--remember, only 2000 yen!"

"Only 2000 yen? For a cloth? I've only been on Midgard for a day and I already know that that's a ripoff." Loki muttered.

Midgardsormr was watching Loki as he spoke to himself and listening to the radio announcer's advertisement.

He moved the human lips, pushing through his fear and confusion, only to hear a scratchy noise.

"Only...two-thousand...yen."

Loki's eyes widened and he turned to his son. "Did you just...?"

In the neglected voice, Midgardsormr struggled to repeat the words. "Only...two-thousand...yen..."

The banished god grinned madly. "I knew you were a genius! You had to be, considering the lineage. Now let's try your name!"

X

"I...can't." It was a few days later and Midgardsormr had finally learned basic speech, though his words were rough and his throat still hurt when he spoke. "I can't stand up." He said slowly. "Walking...is not possible."

Vocabulary hadn't been an issue, as Midgardsormr had been able to understand speech for quite some time. Now he only needed to learn how to move like a human.

"Look at the progress you've made already. Walking is easy compared to speaking." Loki noted.

"If you learn to walk, we can go explore Midgard. Don't you want to see the sunlight as a human?"

Midgardsormr's eyes widened. "The sun...?" He had yet to go outside. Without the ability to walk or stand, he had been sitting on the couch for the past few days. His human legs hurt and his stomach was making odd noises.

"There are also interesting foods to eat and more books to read. So I've heard." Loki said, assuming all Midgard towns were the same. He hadn't been on the odd planet since the time he spoke to Xerxes.

"Books? Sigyn..." Midgardsormr was more than a little concerned about his stepmother's welfare.

Loki tried to push all thoughts about his wife out of his head. "I'll help you stand, then we can practice at the house for a little while."

Midgardsormr nodded.

X

"The human world is pretty amazing." Loki noted as the duo walked down the crowded street.

Midgardsormr was walking slowly but well, considering he only had a few hours' worth of practice. He gave his father a single nod as he tried to take in all the sights.

Still, something was wrong. He waved a hand in front of his face, confused. "Is it...meant to be blurry?" He asked his father slowly.

"Blurry?" Loki repeated, turning to Midgardsormr. "What do you mean?"

"It's hard to see..." The demigod said, squinting at his hand.

Loki stared at him for a full minute before realizing what he meant. "Oh! Glasses! I should've known; Hel needed them too..."

"Glasses?"

"They'll make it less blurry." Loki assured him. "Let's go do that now, then I'll teach you how to cook..."

X

One Week Later...

"Welcome to the Enjaku Agency. Do you have a mystery we could assist you with?" Loki asked, letting the woman inside.

"Oh, yes, my cat has gone missing again. Little boy, is your father the detective here?" She replied, smiling warmly.

"I'm the detective, ma'am." Loki said with a sigh, reminded of his size. "I'm not that young..." He was older than she was...unless she had been around for centuries, too.

Her mouth opened a little in surprise. "Oh my, you're living in this big house all alone? Don't you have any family?"

"Loki-sama!" The clear masculine voice reached the client's ears and she turned to the green-haired man in relief.

"You must be his father. I'm Miyako Ono." She offered him her hand.

He stared at her, as if thinking out his words. "I'm actually Loki-sama's...helper. I am Mi--no." He took a deep breath. "I'm Ryusuke Yamino. That is Loki-sama, the detective." He gestured to his father, who had a look of pure pride on his face.

X

"Mou, this is a detective agency!" The pink-haired girl exclaimed as she wandered outside the gates and spotted a green-haired man. "That must be the detective; maybe he can help me with the doll! Excuse me, mister!"

Ryusuke Yamino glanced up from his sweeping and smiled warmly.

After all, it was just another day on Midgard, and another client...

X X X X