Warning: Contains car accident, Tokyo Tower, machine guns, nuclear bombs, a blue blue BLUE sky... and... a bald gorilla.

The Story Of How Hyoutei Died!

Once upon a time... in a faraway land... there lived the Hyoutei boys' tennis team regulars... BUT! They will not live for long! Because that's the whole point of the story. Okay okay... on to the point...

SO! There was this day when Oshitari was walking on a road, BUT! Then a toad jumped out, and freaked him out, then a car came out, and bumped into him. So his soul flew away into the depths of the blue, blue, BLUE sky.

BUT! Exceptions DO occur! After the car bumping incident... Which Gakuto just HAPPENED to witness... How did he witness it? Ahh... He was in the car that bumped into Oshitari. Because... Gakuto thought it'd be cool to hack into his dad's car and drive it around. But then... now it might not be so cool afterall...

One down... seven more to go...

"OHH! YUUSHI! How could you leave without me?!" Gakuto cried to the blue, blue, BLUE sky.

...But sadly, there was no answer...

"OHH! You abandoned me! I shall join you!" Gakuto knelt down beside Oshitari's dead, now cold, corpse.

"..." The corpse didn't reply. How could it?! Tsk tsk.

"YUUSHI!!" Gakuto paused. "Yosha!"

"..." The corpse still didn't reply, but it was definitely angry.

"AHH!! WAIT! WAIT FOR ME! YOU CAN SEE ME IN A WHILE! HANG ON THERE!!" Gakuto weeped.

And guess what he decided to do? He decided to jump from the fifth floor of a random building nearby.

BUT!! Exceptions DO occur! It's not likely that you will die if you jump from the fifth floor... especially if you're an awesomish acrobatic like Mukahi Gakuto!! SO! Gakuto was not able to join his Yuushi in the depths of the blue, blue, BLUE sky...

"AHH!! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!! WHY THE FREAKING HELL CAN'T I DIE?!" Gakuto screeched when he landed perfectly on his two feet after jumping off the thirtieth floor, gaining a few wierd glances from the innocent by-passers.

"YUUSHI! I AM SO SORRY! I AM GOING TO JOIN YOU! JUST WAIT FOR A BIT MORE! AND WE CAN SEE EACH OTHER AGAIN!!"

SO! He decided to take the train to the Tokyo Tower. And thus... Gakuto soon found himself standing on top the Tokyo Tower, yes, on TOP of the Tokyo Tower. "YUUSHI, I'M COMING!!" He shouted.

And... our beloved red headed acrobatic tennis player of HYOUTEI (NOT Kikumaru Eiji from SEIGAKU.) jumped off the Tokyo Tower bravely... BUT! What happened was... he jumped off. And he still landed flawlessly. BUT! He landed on a camel. And the camel... was pissed... REALLY pissed... SO! It did an awesome camel-style back kick, and hit Gakuto's hair.

"AHH! HOW DARE YOU HARM MY PRECIOUS HAIR?!" Gakuto demanded, pointing an accusing finger at THE camel.

The camel stared him... This red head reminded it of someone...

"AHHH!" Gakuto started to punch the camel... BUT! That just made it more pissed... And... it really pissed out!

"AHHHH!! THIS STINKS! YOU DIRTY CREATURE!!" Gakuto jumped away from the camel's piss, and proceeded to swear at the camel. Then came the kicks... proceeded by the headbutts.

BUT! All this made THE camel even MORE annoyed... so it poked Gakuto with its tail.

"AHHH!!" Gakuto shrieked. "YOU low life creature!!"

Suddenly... at least ten helicopters surrounded Gakuto and the camel. "Give up now! You are surrounded! We're the Atobe police!"

"...what the fuck?" Gakuto glanced around.

"Surrender, now!! You cannot escape!!" The police repeated.

Suddenly, THE Atobe Keigo himself stepped out... of a tank... holding a... a... machine gun... "You cannot run away from Ore-sama now!"

"What the fuck?" Gakuto repeated. "You want to kidnap me?!"

"No, Ore-sama does not want to kidnap you." Atobe answered. With his awesomish powers of insight, Atobe suddenly notice THE camel slowly edging away...

"What the fuck?!" Gakuto repeated again.

Then, suddenly... there was silence... Then...

"FIRE!!"

"What the FUCK?!"

Ten cannons sounded... BOOM!! But... THE camel and Gakuto were both unharmed...

"Ahn?!" Atobe raised his awesomish machine gun. "Since both of you aren't dead, behold the prowess of Ore-sama's charming machine gun!"

"What the fuck?!" Gakuto repeated AGAIN. "Why do you want to kill ME too?!"

"...didn't you just go like, 'WHY CAN'T I DIE?!' a moment eariler?"

Silence...

More silence...

Then...

"MACHINE GUN!! FIRE!!" And Atobe started firing at everyone with his machine gun.

GRUNT! THE camel grunted a grunt of horror.

BUT! It still didn't die! Why? Because Atobe's machine gun was a fake one, his bodyguards were afraid of him getting a REAL machine gun in his hands, so they switched it with one from the entertainment park...

Which means... The one in the entertainment park was the REAL machine gun!

"Atobe... why the fuck are you trying to murder a FUCKING DAMN CAMEL??" Gakuto asked.

"...because this camel escaped from Ore-sama's father's zoo..."

"..."

BEEP. Gakuto stopped working.

And an completely unexpected thing happened... Gakuto joined his Yuushi in the depths of the blue, blue, BLUE sky because of Atobe's stupidity...

Two down... six more to go...

But... THE camel was still edging away...

Atobe took out... something from his pocket... "BEHOLD!! Ore-sama's awesome nuclear bomb!!"

"..."

"..."

...boom.

They all died...

Atobe... and the camel... together... they died.

Three down... five more to go...

HOWEVER. On the other side of the world... not really, but still... somewhere still in Japan... Shishido and Ootori were in a theme park, deciding to play a darts game.

And they got toy machine guns as a prize for winning the game.

So they decided to play a game of machine gun war. And they started shooting each other. BUT! These weren't the normal toy machine guns. Why? Because they were REAL machine guns, they were the ones Atobe's bodyguards switched.

"AHHH!!"

KAPOW!

And there was an explosion.

And the entertainment park was reduced to ashes.

And they all died.

Five down... Three more to go...

Back to Atobe's zoo.

"Attention! Attention!" the loud speakers of the zoo boomed. BOOM! "A gorilla has escaped from this zoo. All visitors please gather in the butterfly house for safety! All police alert!!"

Kabaji, who was waiting patiently for Atobe to return, stood up. He will help Atobe catch that gorilla. Yay.

So he went. In search of the gorilla. And he found it. It was eating bananas.

Kabaji stared at it. How he wanted to eat those bananas!

The gorilla sensed him. And it turned around.

THEN! Kabaji decided to fight it. So he punched it, then pinched it.

The gorilla, acting as self defense, bit Kabaji. It bit his head. And Kabaji's head got bitten... halfway through.

"USU!" Kabaji roared. RAWR!

And he continued to kick it, then pulled all its fur off, making it a baldy gorilla.

"OHHHHIOIOIOIOIOIOIO!!" The gorilla roared in THE Tarzan-style. And it bit the rest of Kabaji's head off.

And Kabaji died. And the gorilla won. K O!

Six down... two more to go.

Hiyoshi stared at himself in the mirror.

No, he wasn't a narcissist. He was just staring.

He needed to gekokujyou someone... NOW!

So... he decided to gekokujyou himself.

How do you gekokujyou yourself? He thought.

THEN! Realization hit him.

If he would just kill himself, he would be gekokujyou-ed by himself. And that was a GOOD thing to do.

I am such a genius! He thought to himself.

And he decided to suicide. The end. He died.

Seven down. One more to go.

And all that was left of the Hyoutei boys' tennis team regulars was Akutagawa Jirou.

He was... sleeping.

He was... dreaming.

Dreaming of butterflies. He wanted to chase them. So he got up and ran after them. The butterflies were always out his reach. SO! He continued chasing them. And... he sleepwalked off the edge of the world...

...and died.

La Grande Finale!

Moral of the Story: ...don't try these at home... it's highly dangerous.

Thank you, thank you! :D