Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece. It's too good for me.

a/n: Nami's up to her tricks again. And of course, what better to do than destroy Zoro's reputation? :) Written because, I SWEAR, Zoro has a three fetish. :V

Usopp stared at the magazine in horror. No. Horror couldn't describe half the way he felt at that moment, looking down at the cover.

It was not the fact that the magazine's title read: XXX Sword-Play Weekly.

And it was not the fact that he had found it in Zoro's second pair of boots either.

It was the person – no – the monster on the front that made him want to scream in terror, and chuck himself off the boat.

On the front of the magazine cover was one of the many enemies that they had had to face on their way to Alabasta – Mr 3. But it wasn't like a normal picture, such as one you'd find on a wanted poster – the bespectacled man was posing to the camera in a very suggestive way and was dressed in…(he could hardly bare to even think about it) a mankini.

He wanted to shrivel up and die. And it wasn't even his.

Slowly rolling up and replacing the magazine in the boot, backing up a few paces, before running as fast as humanely possible from the room, shell-shocked.

Fortunately, when he reached the deck, the swordsman was nowhere in sight, and he was free to stumble to the side of the ship and throw up the contents of his stomach which had become so unsettled at the sight of the picture.

"Usopp?"

The sharp-shooter spun around at this, still green from vomiting, paranoia fuelling his expression of wide-eyed terror.

Zoro, who had just come out of the galley with a bottle of rum in hand, was looking at the sharpshooter in slight concern. "You okay?"

With a shriek Usopp jumped backwards crossing his fingers together and shoving it towards Zoro, in hope of protection. "B-Begone demon spirit! W-What have you done with Zoro?!"

Zoro just stared. "What are you talking about?"

Usopp looked at Zoro, turning green again. There was three swords on his belt. Three earrings. It was all three. There was no escaping the torture.

"Oi, Usopp, pull yourself together," growled Zoro who was obviously alarmed at the sharp-shooter's odd behaviour, walking towards him to shake some sense into him.

Usopp screamed in response, flailing his arms in the air. "NOOO! I'll NEVER SUBMIT TO YOUR SICK MR.THREE FANTASIES, YOU MANKINI CRAZED PSYCHO!" running in a circle before zooming into the bathroom and locking himself up, leaving Zoro staring after him eyes wide in shock.

The swordsman looked up. Sanji, Chopper and Luffy were standing outside the galley, eyes bulging in shocked revulsion.

"My innocent ears," whimpered Chopper, distraught.

"Mankini," muttered Sanji, turning blue.

Zoro's face twisted in defense. "Don't tell me you believe it?!"

"Zoro has a three fetish," Luffy said weakly, rocking himself from the corner.

"IT'S NOT TRUE!"

Somewhere, hiding on deck, Nami grinned. Mission to ruin Zoro's life – a complete success.

a/n: You rock Nami. I wonder where she got that magazine from though…hmm. R&R my luvs.