Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto

Chapter 1: Flight

"YOU… MONSTER"

Those two words, mere shadows in memory, echoed through the dejected boy's head as he slowly packed his belongings. As he looked around his almost empty apartment, his eyes lingered over the remaining decorations. The alarm clock that never woke him up for important missions, the pile of his favorite ramen cups sitting in the corner, but most importantly, the picture of Team 7. With a sigh, a dejected Uzumaki Naruto left the room and headed out into the Konoha night towards the village gates.

'Kit, you should just forget about them and move on'

'Maybe you're right, furball'

Naruto dashed into the night, dropping his hitai-ate to the ground.

Flashback

It has been months since a bloody and broken Naruto returned from his mission, hauling an unconscious Sasuke over his shoulder. Both shinobi had long-since recovered, and the very atmosphere around the Hidden Leaf village was lighter than ever before.

"Sakura chaaaaan"

"What is it now, Naruto?"

"Wanna eat ramen after training? I got something to tell you…"

"No"

"C'mon" pestered Konoha's number one unpredictable ninja, "my treat"

"Not interested"

Exasperated, Naruto tried one last time.

"Sakura-chan, I just wanna…"

"NARUTO, FOR THE LAST TIME, NO"

"But… but…"

Maybe it was the stress of working missions, training with Tsunade, as well as yet another rejection by Saskue, but finally, something in Sakura snapped.

"Naruto," Sakura raised a clenched fist and set it ablaze with chakara. "I am absolutely sick of you trying to ask me out on dates every time we get back from a mission. I have never and will never even dream about being with such a BAKA who's only dream is to be Hokage. GET A CLUE Naruto. Sasuke is leagues better than you in looks, attitude, dedication, taijutsu, ninjutsu and genjutsu, and I CARE ABOUT HIM. WHY THE HELL do you think I went through all of that training with the Hokage-sama? So you ask me out on a date, asshole. Just give up on me, give up on being the Hokage, and JUST LEAVE ME ALONE."

Naruto made one last effort to reach out and calm the raging pink-haired kunoichi

"BACK OFF… YOU… MONSTER" Sakura yelled, slapping Naruto in the face and strode away

Naruto's sapphire eyes flew wide open, and for the first time in his life, he felt his mask completely shatter.

End Flashback

'Damn it… damn it… damn it'

'WHAT WILL YOU DO NOW, KIT?'

'I don't know… but right now I can't face them… I need to leave for a bit"

'HEH, READY TO DO THINGS MY WAY?'

'…'

'LOOK AT WHAT THEY'VE DONE TO YOU, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO DESERVE IT?'

'…'

'WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO NOW?'

'…'

'KIT?'

'Okay, fine… we'll do it your way'

'YES!! NOW, FIRST TRAINING- GET READY TO SHOUT AS LOUD AS YOU CAN…'

And with that, the young shinobi perked up and raised a cry that could be heard throughout the lands:

"FUCK YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"

Inside Konoha

(Tsunade looks up) "grumble… stupid hangover"

(Hinata turns over in her sleep) "mmm… harder Naruto…"

(Lee jolting up from bed) "YOSH! THE SPRINGTIME OF YOUTH WAITS FOR NOBODY"

At the village gates

A kunoichi bent down to pick up the abandoned hitai-ate 'oh, naruto-kun'

Inside the Kazekage prefecture

(Garra) "damn, I finally managed to fall asleep too"

Land of the Waves

(Inari sits up) "I want a cookie"

Unknown cave

(Orochimaru mumbles in his sleep) "Perfect ten? Two five year olds…"

Unknown bathouse

(Jiraya looks up) "Damn, looks like I have some work to do"

A few days later, by walking through the streets, it was clear that many people, especially the older generation were celebrating the departure of the demon child. Some were subtle, some weren't. At a well-known bar, it soon became a custom to shout "Great week, isn't it", just to be given one 'on the house'. This practice died down quickly after a certain angry patron hospitalized the customer with an axe-kick that left a crater in the ground. The Konoha 12 continued with their regular lives. They were trained professionals, as was he. There was nothing to be done.

Three years later

Throughout Konoha

Ino passed through the village gates, returning from a successful solo mission, but there was something else on her mind as she walked through the village, spotting familiar faces. Hinata was able to finally gain acceptance as the Hyuuga heiress. Kiba was still a pervert, but had finally come to view Hinata as a sister, so he stopped hitting on her. Shino was himself. Neji was growing more irritable, but was no longer blaming things on fate. Tenten could be seen wiping away tears now and then, but largely trained with a renewed focus. Lee maintained his energy, shouting about a certain blonde shinobi's youthfulness and springtime of youth. Shikamaru and Chouji kept with their regular routine, Shikamaru would stare at the clouds while Chouji ate everything in sight. Ino was nowhere to be found. Sasuke and Sakura were growing closer together, perhaps comforting each other in spite of Sai's comments on Sasuke's lack of a penis. Occasionally, Sakura would wonder exactly what it was Naruto wanted to say. However, all of them shared a common thought:

'Naruto, where are you?'

In a distant, mysterious land

"ACHOOOOOOOOOO"

'BLESS YOU'

One more year later

In the middle of nowhere

"Well, I'm on my way back" a white-clad man said to nobody in particular, with a foxy grin starting to appear.

"Naruto-sama, I would advise you to refrain from being an arrogant prick upon your return" an older

man jabbed.

"Well, after having an ero-kitsune locked in my body for so long, it's a wonder I'm still sane, and…" the younger man's voice trailed off.

"a virgin" chortled the vulpine man as the pair drew closer to their destination, the laughter quickly stopped after they felt a threatening presence nearby.

"Naruto-sama, leave this to me"

Minutes later, two Sound ninja were lying on the ground, dead in a pool of their own blood. Blood which, for some reason, was still streaming from their noses.

No longer able to contain his excitement, Naruto let out a primal scream

"FUCK YEAAAAAAAAAAAA"

Back in Konoha

Tsunade was at her desk, oblivious to the mountains of paper that threatened to topple over at any moment. Things these days were just too quiet. The Hokage missed seeing the exuberant youth burst in angrily demanding harder missions. She was even wishing she could hear the familiar "baa-chan" cry one last time. Still, she felt deep inside that he was still alive, waiting for the right moment to make his return. After all, he was the number one unpredictable ninja, right?

Suddenly, there was a faint POOF as a masked ANBU appeared, startling Tsunade out of her reverie. The ANBU soldier placed a scroll in her hands. As Tsunade continued reading the scroll, her eyes got wider and wider. Her eyes, previously hazy, had a sharp glint.

"Summon all the jounins and ANBU captains to the stadium at once."

Five minutes later, Tsunade was standing in front of the pride of Konoha, the elite force that had obtained the greatest respect of all the hidden villages, where she made a startling announcement.

"It appears that a terrible situation has risen. Orochimaru has returned." There was a noticeable shiver through the shinobi.

"I thought he was dead."

"Didn't the white flash finish him off? As well as the rest of the Akatsuki?"

Tsunade raised a hand to quell the voices.

"And that's where are troubles start. The Akatsuki are also back, and have joined forces with Orochimaru. They are currently making their way to Konoha and will be here in three days. We will now be commencing emergency defensive procedures. Dismissed."

With that, the shinobi split off to their respective stations.

Tsunade heaved a sigh, 'oh brat, please hurry back'

Loud shouts and explosions could be heard over the constant clang of kunai and shuriken. At each front, the Konoha ninja seemed to be holding up well, in spite of the massive onslaught of Sound ninja.

Lee and Gai were back to back, surrounded by a steadily increasing pile of bodies. For once, the two were no longer thinking about youthfulness, or pulling strange sunset genjutsu. A trio of foolish Sound chuunin jumped into the fray, brandishing katana. Without breaking stride or looking back, Lee lashed out behind him with a fierce kick, catching the first wide-eyed chuunin in the gut, and flying into the pile of broken bones and dead bodies. Quickly pivoting on his left foot, Lee turned around and threw a punch right through the guard of another chuunin. The third chuunin met a similar end when the . Gai had his nunchaku out and was dealing heavy damage left and right. Still, the two were fighting hard. Gai had opened his sixth gate and subconsciously noted with pride that his former pupil only had his fourth gate open. 'Gotta do extra training' he thought, smashing in a shinobi's face while avoiding random shuriken and kunai thrown his way.

Neji, Hinata, Hanabi and Hiashi were in another area, fighting off the invaders in true Hyuuga style. If Janken from one Hyuuga was scary, four at once was absolutely terrifying, comparable to the Tsukiyomi. Four jounin flew through the air each throwing a pair of windmill shuriken. "KAGE SHURIKEN JUTSU!" The eight shuriken became fifty, as they flew in from all angles. Neji smirked and activated his kaiten. The jounin could only stare as the lethal weapons fell down to the ground, leaving the young ninja unharmed. The four jounin gulped. They knew what was coming next. The four Hyuuga members's eyes contracted as they activated the byakugan and slid into a stance that promised a lot of pain.

No less impressive was the battle that the Uchiha survivor fought. With the dreadful chidori lighting up both arms and both legs, Uchiha Saskue fought like a man possessed by a demon and was now locked in fierce combat with the asshole who had promised him the world, but tried to take his soul instead.

'Damn it, he's still strong after all of these years. What is the secret behind his immortality, anyways?' he thought, twisting around Orochimaru's Kusanagi. Sasuke swiped across Orochimaru's body with a roundhouse kick and aimed a chidori-laced thrust at his face.

Other equally impressive battles raged outside the gates of Konoha, but nothing compared to the epic struggle that the legendary Sannin Jiraya and Tsunade fought against the miraculously revived Akatsuki. Katsuyu and Gamabunta towered over the battling shinobi in an effort to even the odds. Even with the help of the two boss summons, however, the Sannin were still being pushed backwards by the incredible strength of the Akatsuki members. 'That's strange,' thought Jiraya, 'they were never this strong before. Their stamina is almost as great as the little brat's stamina. Jiraya's musings were quickly brought to an end as the Hokage punched the ground with all of her might, causing massive tremors that momentarily stopped the battle. 'Kami, that was scary' thought Jiraya as the battle went on.

Unfortunately, the battle was not going well. Sure, the elite ninja were living up to their name, but it was evident that they were running low on Chakra reserves. There were only a few Sound ninja left, but Orochimaru and Amatsuki were still going strong. "How… how?" panted Sasuke. "Stupid fuck, I'm immortal, it's no wonder I let you run away, dobe," replied Orochimaru. Meanwhile, the remaining Akatsuki members stood, slightly winded. Tsunade had just separated Zetsu's weird flytrap from the rest of his body with a chakra-powered kick. 'Weird little bastard,' she thought, almost fainting from sheer exhaustion. Next to her, Jiraya stood panting, covered in wounds. As the enemy slowly advanced forward for the kill, a nerdy silver-haired shinobi holding a pair of glasses in one hand started to chuckle inwardly

Tsunade hung her head. "What am I fighting for?" she asked nobody in particular, "since when have I been so devoted to protecting this village as Hokage?" Jiraya smiled sadly and answered, "I think you know the answer." The two were weakening and they knew it. In their prime, this battle would have been a fierce struggle, but they would have had the advantage. Thirty years had not been kind on the two Sennin, even though with Tsunade, it wasn't immediately obvious on the outside. 'We can't give up yet, otherwise we wouldn't ever be able to face Naruto,' the two thought, struggling to get back onto their feet.

Suddenly, there was a massive burst of chakra behind them. The shinobi all turned and searched for the source of this new strength. There, on top of a village gates stood two men. The first man was wearing a black ninja gi, His face was almost entirely hidden, but his dark red eyes conveyed great wisdom and… something else. Next to him was the actual source of the previous burst of chakra. There stood a man with a regal bearing. He wore a pure white cloak that billowed in the wind with a matching turban that completely covered his face. There was a pause, as the Konoha shinobi looked at this new arrival with suspicion. The bright blue eyes crinkled in amusement. There was a brief flash, and then the turbaned stranger appeared between the exhausted Konoha ninja and their enemies. Turning to face the shinobi of Konoha, he spoke in a husky baritone voice.

"Things will be alright now. I'll crush these assholes and punish them for their crimes."

Turning back to face Orochimaru and Akatsuki, the man growled, "Now, it's time to send you bastards to hell" sending chills down the spines of all the spectators.

Hidan was the first to step up and challenge the stranger. The shinobi in white smirked and proceeded to go through a series of complicated seals that nobody watching knew. His eyes went blank for a second, as did the other man's.

'Heh, brat, you'd never have guessed it but…'

'Haha, you're right. I wonder why I didn't notice it before'

By now, Hidan was ready to charge forward, but before he could even flinch, there was another flash and the white ninja was behind the death-obsessed psychopath. "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?" he shouted, confused, but his eyes widened as he heard what white shinobi was saying to him.

"… and that's when I figured your technique would really help out your sex life. I mean, this way, you two are guaranteed to… finish together. Just be sure to get her blood beforehand." With a wink, the mysterious stranger jumped back to his original position and waited. A faint blush crept over Hidan's cheeks as he stammered, "I… I… can't do this anymore… other important engagements… I have to… quit" leaving the confused Akatsuki yet another member short.

As realization of their opponent dawned on some of the enemy, a couple more antagonists stepped up to fight, but the rest blanched and disappeared, leaving the Konoha ninja even more confused as to what was going on. Orochimaru and Kabuto were the only ones left standing, somewhat bewildered at the sudden betrayal. The two slowly inched their way forward, but stopped as they saw the white-clad warrior's eyes turn crimson red, which went unnoticed by everybody except for Orochimaru and Kabuto. There was a brief pause before the shock registered on their faces. The white shinobi flashed through a series of hand seals so fast, Kakashi and Sasuke blinked their eyes, wondering if they were seeing double.

HIDDEN TECHNIQUE: RETURN TO YOUTH

'Oh shit' thought Orochimaru as he pissed his pants.

'What the fuck' thought Kabuto.

Naruto focused for a moment, his jutsu lighting the area momentarily before he smiled. He was pleased at this new technique. It allowed the user to forcibly modify the personality to return the victim to childlike innocence, innocence that ironically Naruto would never experience.

Kabuto was seated on the grass, plucking up loose blades of grass and scattering them to the winds. The subtle, yet scheming gleam in his eye was replaced by one of youthful innocence. As the grown man continued to pluck away the foliage of Konoha, a bird flew by, startling the previously fearless shinobi. As his hand flew back to regain his balance, he squished an ant on the ground. Tears started to well up into the eyes of the previously cold-hearted man as he lamented the death of the poor insect.

The group then turned their attentions to the other ninja, first with a look of consternation, but then a growing smile. Orochimaru dropped Kusanagi as a butterfly flew by. "Pretty…" he murmured, chasing the harmless creature around the battlefield. The others looked on with a strange mix of horror and amusement as Orochimaru started to roll around, frolicking with the bunnies and squirrels. Naruto smiled underneath his turban.

Jiraya and Tsunade were doing their best not to break down and laugh at the sight of their psychotic ex-teammate and his subordinate playing like children, when they heard a chortle from the least likely source. Aburame Shino, after years of hiding underneath his uniform and sunglasses, snorted at the ridiculous sight of Orochimaru and Kabuto frolicking together.

The bug user's outburst cut the tension in the air as everybody started to laugh, all dignity forgotten.

Orochimaru and Kabuto linked arms and skipped along towards the Land of the Flower Fields while singing a stupid song about being fucking teapots and getting steamed up. A sudden thud made the group look back at the mysterious visitor, who had just collapsed face-first onto the floor. Before any of the concerned leaf shinobi could make a move, the other mysterious visitor appeared in front of Naruto and poofed away.

Minutes later, the duo was resting in a small cave.

'YOU DID GOOD, KIT'

'Thanks'

The village was in an uproar, as ANBU officers were sent left and right to look for the unknown pair. Lee and Gai were at the forefront of the chase, spouting the same crap about youthfulness.

"YOSH!! THE TWO HEROS HAVE SURELY SHOWN GREAT YOUTHFULNESS!!" screamed Lee.

"HAI! THEY ARE SURELY IN THEIR SPRINGTIME OF YOUTH!!" responded Gai.

"LEE"

"GAI-SENSEI"

"LEE"

"GAI-SENSEI"

"LEE"

"GAI-SENSEI"

Tenten and Neji quickly separated the youthful duo before they could complete the deadly kinjutsu: SUNSHINE AND CRASHING WAVES JUTSU.

Everyone was so busy trying to break up the gruesome spectacle that they missed the two figures that flew over their heads. Not that they would've been able to see even if they were paying attention.

Tsunade was once again at her desk, surrounded by paperwork. Her eyes were shut as she concentrated on the odd feeling fluttering through her chest. That man in white. Why was he so familiar? Tsunade tried to rid herself of this odd feeling, when a voice shouted out. A very annoying voice: "WAKE UP, TSUNADE BAA-CHAN!!" Tsunade jerked awake at the sound, ready to lash out at the perpetrator dressed in white, when the words registered in her mind. Falling back into her seat, Tsunade could only stammer "Na… na… naru… Naruto?"

Naruto let his turban fall, only to be greeted by a fist in the face. Tsunade strode over to the young man, peeled him off the wall and enveloped him in a crushing hug. "I missed you so much, don't ever leave me like that again, Naruto-kun, ne?" Tsunade quietly wept tears, but this time, they were tears of joy.

"… and that's what I want you to help me do," finished Naruto.

Tsunade could only stare at the young man that appeared in front of her. Naruto was all grown up. His face exuded confidence, bright sapphire eyes sparkling. With a slight blush, Tsunade noted that he had become handsome since she last saw him. 'He's down right sexy, too. What I wouldn't give to have been born thirty years later…' 'or what you would give if you were born thirty years later. We'd take the Legendary Sucker routine to a whole new level' she thought, stifling a nosebleed. In spite of all this, she could sense that Naruto had not lost any bit of his boyish charm that she had grown fond of over time. In spite of all the harsh treatment through his life, Naruto was still able to keep that wide grin on his face, which truly warmed her heart.

Naruto darted around Konoha, executing his plan in order to get ready for his grand return. After all, Konoha's number one unpredictable ninja had to live up to his reputation, right?

The following day, the entire shinobi population of Konoha was gathered at the stadium grounds, wondering what was happening. They looked down at the stadium grounds and saw two of their esteemed officers, Hatake Kakashi and Uchiha Sasuke waiting with the Godaime. Once the crowd settled down, Tsunade made her announcement:

"I know you are all aware that we most likely would not have won the battle a few days ago had it not been for the assistance of two mysterious strangers. Since then, I have talked with the one in white, and I have agreed to make him and his companions Konoha nin in return for the great service they have done for us. You are therefore gathered to witness the entrance examination, which will determine the rank of our newest shinobi. This will be a match between a team of Hatake Kakashi and Uchiha Sasuke versus the White Flash."

There was a murmur of surprise, as the shinobi couldn't fathom who would be insane enough to challenge two of the best shinobi to a fight at the same time.

'Baka'

'Crazy'

'Troublesome'

'Chips…'

"Well then," continued Tsunade with a small smile, "Let's start."

"HELL YEA, LET'S GET THIS PARTY STARTED!" With a poof, Naruto appeared, identity still masked. Kakashi and Sasuke felt a sudden chill go up their spine.

"Hajime"

Before anyone could blink, Naruto disappeared in a quick flash, one that not even the Sharingan could track. A massive killing intent burst from right behind Kakashi, as Naruto went through a series of hand seals. The bystanders looked concerned, worried that their beloved jounin would be the target of a deadly jutsu. Sakura put a hand to her mouth. Tsunade raised an eyebrow. Jiraya started to laugh, as a growing suspicion became definite certainty. 'Oh shit' thought Kakashi. Naruto completed the dreadful taijutsu, shouting SENNEN GOROSHI, causing Kakashi to fly into the air, hands clenching a sore butt.

'We ain't done yet, right kit?'

'Yea.'

Naruto pulled out a small, orange book. The cover read "Icha Icha: Paradise volume 1, limited edition." Thanks to his sharingan, Kakashi could still read the cover in spite of the large pain in the ass he was experiencing, and his eyes widened at the sight of such a rare book. Naruto threw the book towards Kakashi, who had a familiar perverted grin. Naruto then made a series of hand seals and brought his right hand to his mouth. "Katon: GOKAKYUU NO JUTSU!" Tsunade started to chuckle. Jiraya went from a laugh to a complete meltdown, as did Kakashi. The two had anime-style tears streaming from their faces as their beloved book was burned to ashes. A quick blow to the neck quickly subdued the perverted jounin, leaving Sasuke and Naruto staring at each other.

"NANI" the crowd shouted, amazed that the copy-nin could be defeated easily. They turned their attention back to the fight on hand.

The Sasuke five years ago would have been overcome with rage at this new development. A new stranger had come up from nowhere and defeats Kakashi in a few minutes. Maybe it was the influence of his ex-teammate, but Sasuke was no longer the cold-hearted arrogant prick of old. Sure, he wasn't a bundle of unbridled energy, and sure, he often snuck sidelong glances at Sai once in a while, but he was no longer the broody teenager that ran away crying when Naruto proved to be the stronger man. Settling into the famous Uchiha taijutsu stance, Sasuke prepared to launch an assault. The strongest Uchiha charged into battle as onlookers drew a breath.

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Well, that's Chapter 1. Leave a review and let me know what you think, or if you have any ideas.

Until next time