Back to the shadows…..

It had been four weeks since the end of his 5th year and Harry Potter was a wreck. Every second of the day seemed like an eternity to him. He had locked himself in his room, only coming out to use the loo and occasionally grab a bite to eat, a bite was an understatement. His friends had tried writing him letters, trying to reassure him that Sirius' death was not his fault, but they never heard back from him except for a few quick words that had nothing to do with their letters. Remus had come by a few times, looking no better than Harry himself, and tried to talk to Harry, but they both knew that Remus blamed himself for the passing of his old friend also. Sleep only came for an hour or two a night to Harry, his dreams haunted by images of Sirius, his friends, even his teachers falling into the veil and he could never do anything to stop them. He would wake in tears, sweat soaking his entire body, and curl into a ball and cry until he had no tears left.

To make matters worse, his fight with Dumbledore only added to his pain. With the revelation of the prophecy, Harry felt a very heavy burden placed on his shoulders. Not only did he have to face Voldemort, he had to kill him or the entire world, wizard and muggle, would be cast into a shadow. He thought about all of this and secluded further into himself, trying to push his friends further away so that none of them could get involved. At night he would stare out the window, hopelessly wanting someone to come along and take him away form all his pain.

It was the first week of July, and Harry was once again sitting by his window, looking out into the night sky praying once again for someone to come relieve him of this burden. He sighed and turned his eyes to Hedwig, who, much like Harry had been in a bad mood all summer. He couldn't figure it out but every time he tried to cheer the owl up, she would just put her head down and turn from him. He slowly got up and went to his trunk, deciding to see if he could get some homework done since he obviously wasn't going to be getting any sleep tonight. It was 2'o'clock in the morning, Harry had woken 3 hours ago from one of those nightmares and had only just recovered from it.

He sat down and started rummaging through his trunk, when there was a soft taping noise on his window. He looked up to find an owl sitting outside, but unlike any owl he had ever see, this one was completely black. He curiously opened the window and took the rather large package from the owl who, after being relieved, quickly flew away. Harry watched the owl for a second before opening the letter on top of the package.

Dear Mr. H. Potter,

Although I am not able to come and take away your burden, I am able to make it much easier on you. Inside this package is a book and a portkey. The portkey will take you to a place where you can train and learn more about magic, it will also help you break through the barrier that holds your powers back. You can thank your Headmaster for that, I imagine by now releasing that barrier will cause you a bit of pain, seeing as its been growing, up until now. If you feel unsure and do not want to be taught all this, then simply cast Finite Incantartum on the package and you will never hear from me again. If you do decide to accept, however, I will be waiting for you.

Sincerely,

T

Harry sat on his bed re-reading the letter over and over until one thought finally broke through the cloud in his mind. What the hell?Harry put the letter down and walked over to Hedwig's cage. He slowly stroked her feathers and pondered what to do about the letter. On one hand it seemed like a trick from Voldemort to lore Harry into a trap, but then again, why wouldn't he have just made the letter a portkey and got Harry that way? He sighed and looked back out the window just in time to see another owl heading his way. It glided into his room, dropped a letter and immediately left. Harry, for the second time that night, picked up the unknown letter and read it.

Dear Harry,

I wanted to write to you to say thank you and to apologize. First off I want to thank you for training me how to fight this past year and for accepting me into your group of friends, I've never had friends before. I want to apologize, though, for the things I am about to say.

Harry, Hermione and Ginny both owled me and told me that you are secluding yourself from everyone. They say you are blaming yourself for your god-father's death. Listen to me, it is not your fault. When I was a child, my mom was killed, and do you know how? I tried to surprise her one day when she was working on a new charm she had been trying to invent. She was just finishing the incantation when I jumped out to scare her, I was just trying to play a joke, but it caused so much worse. She didn't say the last word correctly and it caused the charm to have a back fire on her, the curse reverted back into her body and within an hour she was gone. My father told me not to blame myself, that it was a very unstable curse and he had told her not to work on it in the first place, but I couldn't help feeling guilty. I stopped talking and eventually hid the pain by acting like I was in a different world a lot of the time.

But then you and your friends came along and took me in when no one else would befriend me. I started to see that all the pain I kept inflicting on myself inside had caused me to put on an act that made me push others away and I finally started to see the error in my ways. It wasn't till I saw the pain in your eyes and the presence of guilt that came after Sirius' death that I really realized yours and my situation were not much different. I have finally broke through the shell I created and now I have you to thank. So ask yourself, do you blame me for my mom's death? A child just trying to play a joke and it turning bad? There was nothing I could do and I knew no better. So stop blaming yourself, Sirius would probably hex you for acting this way, it was Voldemort who showed you that vision, it is his fault you went, Sirius is probably proud that you would risk so much just to save him.

I'm sorry if I have hurt you further, and if you do not reply I understand, but I thought I might be able to help you get through this, and I want you to know I am here if you need to talk. Just think about it, ok?

Your friend,

Luna

Harry went through a roller coaster of emotions when reading the letter. At first he was confused about who was writing to him. Then anger and depression soon took over when they told him to stop blaming himself. That quickly turned to wonder at how someone could blame themselves for their mom's death when it obviously wasn't their fault. Then understanding hit him, he couldn't have known it was a trick by Voldemort, he did what he thought he should and risked people's lives to save his godfather's. A sense of calm rushed over him, he finally felt at peace and knew Sirius was proud of him. It wasn't till he was done reading and had been sitting on his bed thinking for a good half hour did it finally hit him. Luna wrote that?! He always pictured Luna with the off in the distant look and weird sense of reality, never someone that could make him feel so many emotions in just a matter of minutes!

He sighed and for the first time in weeks, he smiled and started chuckling to himself. All this time he never knew that Luna had been hiding who she really was.

"And I was just getting used to her weird way of thinking, I'll have to try and get to know her better, after all, she did just do what Ron, Hermione, and Ginny have been trying to do all summer," he thought to himself.

He quickly scrambled through his trunk and got out a quill, some ink and a sheet of parchment. He wrote a letter to Luna telling her that she finally made him see the truth and that he would like to get to know her better if she wished. He told her he'd be gone for a little while but to send her letters with Hedwig and he'd get them. He tied the letter to Hedwig's leg and told her to stay at Luna's till he got back. With that, Hedwig looked a lot happier and nibbled affectionately at Harry's ear before taking off. He watched her until he could only see a faint dot in the sky before turning back to the letter and package on his bed.

"Well here goes nothing," he said to himself and unwrapped the package. There was a bright flash of light and then he was gone from Privet Drive. He felt the familiar tug from his navel as he was traveling through space and time, clutching for life at the portkey. It seemed like hours before he stopped and fell face first into the ground. Cursing, he stood up and jumped when heard someone say something behind him.

"Well the first thing we need to work on is your portkey landing," an amused sounding voice said.

Harry spun around and his mouth dropped before he muttered three words, " Oh Bloody Hell!"