So, I wrote this about two years ago for the Valentine's Day issue of the Neopian Times, but it was rejected (since characters were inviting other characters to party-esqe events). I still really like it, though, and the idea for "Annunciation, Arguments, and Airspray" was sort of mutated from it. If it seems out-of-date (and has a suspicious lack of Roxton references), that's why.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters, nor Neopets itself. If I did, I'd be Viacom... and that'd be scary.

Ah, Faerieland! That miserable- no, she meant wonderful- place.

The Happiness Faerie crept through the streets of Faerieland, her eyes darting back and forth in a most suspicious manner. It seemed that this faerie was taking a day off from spreading happiness and glee, for instead of flittering about Neopia as she usually did, she was sneaking throughout Faerieland's cloud streets. Normally this would have aroused suspicion in the other faeries, but the Happiness Faerie was sure they hadn't noticed her. She was awfully good at sneaking, after all, even if that wasn't a normal attribute of happiness or joy.

"Ah, Happiness Faerie, there you are! I have been looking for you."

The Happiness Faerie stopped mid-sneak. She knew that voice, that dreaded, er, beloved voice. A shudder ran through the faerie's body which had to be of excitement, not fear- for why would any faerie, even a particularly new one, be afraid of her queen? The Happiness Faerie slowly stood up straight and turned around, a pained smile plastered on her face.

"Why, hello Fyora." As always, this faerie's voice was squeaky and much too high-pitched, not really sounding dainty or even feminine at all. "Did you need me?"

The Faerie Queen smiled gently and floated over to where the Happiness Faerie was standing, her feet touching lightly on the cloud. "Oh, I just wanted to talk," she replied in a low, quiet tone that emphasized power and royalty more than any bellow or shout ever could.

The Happiness Faerie flinched.

"Uh, er, that's nice," she stammered, twiddling the flowers she always held in her hand nervously, "but, I was, ah-"

"And I'm sure you aren't busy, since you were walking at such a leisurely pace. Why were you walking, dear? It's better for the wings to fly."

The Happiness Faerie glanced back at her wings, which she knew weren't all that good for flying. Cardboard and wind didn't tend to mix well. "Well, I… I wanted to take in the ground scenery."

"Ah." Fyora smiled knowingly and started walking forward, her purple wings streaming behind her. The Happiness Faerie found that she had no choice but to walk with her, her wings bouncing and appearing to be quite insignificant when compared to the Queen's. They walked quietly for a while, the Happiness Faerie attempting to find a reason why she really couldn't have a nice, long chat with the Faerie Queen. It was harder to think up an excuse than she would have previously thought.

"I've wanted to talk to you for a while now… what was your name again?"

The Happiness Faerie drew herself up proudly. "Dr. Sloth- er, ah, I mean Doc… tria… Slof… ern… ia." The faerie seemed to fall into herself as she hesitantly spoke the last part of her sentence, her gaze slowly falling to the ground.

"Doctria Slofernia. Interesting. Do you mind if I simply call you Sloffy?" Slofernia flinched, which Fyora apparently took as a yes. "Well, Sloffy, have you ever heard of the Annual Faerie Valentine's Day Convention?"

Slofernia's head popped up, and the faerie stared at her queen incredulously. Her voice seemed a bit deeper (and more natural) when she next spoke. "The what now?"

"Come, come. I'm sure you've heard of the Valentine's Day Ball?"

The slightly disgusted look on Slofernia's face must have told Fyora otherwise, for the faerie's smile grew. "The Valentine's Day Ball, where all of the faeries in Neopia invite certain lucky Neopians to join them in the feasting and dancing of the party, located in a certain themed spot in Neopia."

"Er, yes, now that you mention it…" Slofernia grimaced, almost as if she was recalling some kind of bad memory.

"Of course. Well, at the Convention, all of us faeries get together to tell each other who we're inviting to the Ball, so that we can make sure no two faeries are inviting the same person. And the Convention just so happens to be occurring tonight."

"But it's the middle of November!"

Fyora shrugged. "Yes, well, it's a tradition, started by a mind-bogglingly long story that you really don't need to hear."

"Ah."

Fyora glanced at Slofernia's drooping face and decided that this faerie might need a better reason to come. The Faerie Queen looked up thoughtfully before mentioning, "Of course, after naming our choices, we always discuss important topics that will highly influence future Neopia. Oh- and did I mention that we provide free coffee?"

Slofernia's mouth was curving up in a gleefully happy, if also malicious, grin. "Wonderful! Help with world domination!"

"What did you say, Sloffy?"

"Err… free coffee! Yay?"

Fyora smiled rather smugly. The coffee always got them.

As the two faeries walked off down the cloudy road, Fyora's voice drifted back to any bystanders who happened to be listening. Although only one sentence she said was caught but eavesdropping ears, it was enough to spread rumors throughout Faerieland, as innocent sentences stated by prominent figures always do.

"Oh yes, Sloffy. There was one other thing I needed to ask of you…"

-o-

"THE ANNUAL FAERIE VALENTINE'S DAY CONVENTION IS STARTING IN FIVE MINUTES. ALL FAERIES SHOULD REPORT TO THE CONVENTION ROOM. NOW."

Slofernia winced as the Library Faerie Allfria's voice vibrated through the hall she was standing in. Magical amplification, no doubt, as the girl was usually quiet- or so Slofernia had heard. Taking a sip from her cup of coffee, the Happiness Faerie wished that she was somewhere, anywhere other than this… convention. The free coffee was good, of course, but the dozens of young faeries that kept barraging her, asking for ways to make themselves happier, were driving her insane. It didn't help that Aethia had sidled over to her a few minutes before and started questioning her on when she had attended Chazt University. It wasn't until the Battle Faerie mentioned that that was where faeries learned magic that Slofernia realized she wasn't talking about Neoschool.

"Oh. Er, I… studied with the Alien Aishas," Slofernia had quickly replied. But that had only attracted Nepta's attention, who had rapidly flown over and started firing questions at Slofernia about how all her old friends with the Aishas were doing. It had been most uncomfortable, making up stories under the watchful eye of the Space Faerie.

Now Slofernia dragged behind the rest of the faeries, wishing that she could just run away right then. But no… she had promised to Fyora that she would come. So Slofernia straightened her Smiley pin, sipped at her coffee, and followed the other giggling faeries into the Convention Room.

Almost the whole room was taken up with a tremendously long table and its chairs, apparently where they would all be sitting. In fact, some faeries were already seated and chatting at each other. Fyora was at the head of the table, listening to Illusen as the Earth faerie talked quietly. At the other end sat Aethia, deep in a serious discussion with Taelia and the Grey Faerie, who (oddly enough) appeared to have ordered a Super Sour Melon Tea. Trying to avoid the eyes of both Fyora and Aethia, Slofernia dove for a seat near the middle of the table.

"Oh. It's you."

Slofernia gulped and chose to stare into her coffee cup instead of at the faerie who was probably glaring her down right then. "Hello, Jhudora," she mumbled, hoping that she at least sounded cheerful.

"The Happiness Faerie sitting across from me. Perfect. Well, don't you dare to try and spread happiness or whatnot around me. Though I suppose you can't be much worse than the decorations."

Ignoring the sarcastic edge of the Dark faerie's voice, Slofernia glanced around at the 'decorations'. It was enough to make her gag. Huge pink heart balloons were floating around the ceiling, and pink and white confetti had been enchanted to fall from the balloons, hit the ground (or whatever else got in its way) with a puff of pink or white smoke, and then flitter back up to the ceiling and start again. Slofernia quickly put a green hand over her coffee mug before any of the confetti could fall in and continued looking. Lace streamers fluttered from wall to wall, and zooming continually around the room were four giant teddy bears that had magically grown wings. The only normal aspect of the room was the coffee shop owner, who appeared to be giving out free refills from her stand in one of the corners.

"Nauseating" spit out Jhudora, her long fingers steadily drumming the outside of her coffee cup. "I loathe this holiday. I suppose you are enjoying the frivolous color?"

"Um," Slofernia replied. She couldn't quite bring herself to lie that much, not even for safety's sake. The glaring colors were just too much.

"I only come here to make sure that Illusen doesn't try to steal my choice," Jhudora went on, giving the giggling Air faerie who had just sat down next to her the evil eye. "Interfering goody-two-shoes. Look at her, sucking up to the Faerie Queen like that."

Before Jhudora could find anything else to complain about, Fyora herself stood up and clapped her hands once. All the talking around the table died down as every faerie turned to listen to the Faerie Queen. She smiled and spread out her arms, welcoming them all in.

"Welcome, faeries, one and all, to the 8th Annual Faerie Valentine's Day Convention. I hope you all had a safe trip here, as I know there were some weather problems at Terror Mountain."

Near the other end of the table, Taelia shivered her agreement and slurped at her Snowberry Tea. Slofernia noted that there were a few pieces of hail stuck in the other faerie's hood.

"As always, we will begin this meeting by finalizing who is inviting who to the Ball. Remember, once your choice has been recorded by our host, Allfria, you may not change it. If the person you ask says no or they cannot be located by the night of the ball, you must arrive alone. This year, the ball is taking place on Kreludor. The doors open at 7, and they close at 9. Are there any questions?"

A few of the younger faeries were still giggling, but no one ventured a question. So Fyora sat down and picked up her Tchea Tea, her eyes slowly traveling over the hordes of faeries.

For a few moments, there was an awkward silence as everyone glanced around at everyone else. Finally, the Library Faerie cleared her throat nervously. Every pair of eyes in the room snapped onto her.

"Um," she mumbled, her soft voice barely able to be heard at the other end of the table. "I kind of wanted to invite King Hagan…"

"That old Skeith? Boring."

Allfria glared down the table, trying to find who had spoken up. "He's very intelligent, for your information! And he reads a great deal."

No one had a serious reply for that, so Fyora smiled. "It looks like you have no competition. Go ahead, dear, you may record it."

Allfria quickly jotted something down onto the paper and then collapsed back into her seat, a relieved smile barely hidden on her face. Slofernia kept one eye on the Library Faerie as Allfria sipped her Blairnut Tea, her quill held loosely in one hand.

Somewhere on the far end of the table, one of the Dark faeries decided to pipe up. "I wanted to invite Jazan," she murmured, trying to sound more evil than eager.

"You're joking!" Jhudora thundered from across the table from Slofernia, her expression a mixture of disbelief and anger. "I was going to invite him!"

"I thought he was married," muttered the Fire faerie who was seated next to Slofernia. Jhudora shot her a disgusted look.

"Oh, come on, Jhudora. He's a reformed villain who wasn't even all that evil in the first place. Wouldn't you want someone darker?"

"Don't get into this, Illusen!"

"I think she's right. Let me get the Kyrii."

"Now, Jhudora," Fyora said, her voice ringing out over the excited chatter that had sprung up all around the table, "She did ask first."

"FINE!" Jhudora slammed her cup down on the table, her Grackle Bug Brew sloshing over her lavender fingers and running in little rivulets down the table. "If you're all going to keep conspiring against me like this, then I'll just pick Scarblade instead! Are you happy now?"

She snatched up her coffee mug and drank a huge gulp of it down, glaring murderously at everyone and anyone. No one else dared to speak up.

"All right," Allfria murmured absentmindedly, scribbling onto her paper. "Malicia and Jazan. Jhudora and Scarblade. Next, please!"

The room was silent for a few moments, with an occasional poof as a bit of confetti exploded into smoke. Then Illusen put down her Meridellian Blend Coffee and carefully folded her hands onto her lap. "I was considering inviting Garin."

"That reminds me!" the Battle Faerie shouted, her hands curled around a Banana Cream Coffee. "I was going to invite Jacques!"

"Aww, I was going for him… but you can have him, I guess." That was another faerie, one that Slofernia couldn't see.

"I call Armin!" Slofernia kept looking around, but now she couldn't tell who was talking, as more voices were piping up.

"Are you joking? He's so short, I'd prefer Razul…"

"Can I invite the Snowager? Maybe? I'm sure I can convince him not to blast anyone…"

Suddenly Slofernia was surrounded by voices as all the faeries shouted out their choices. To her surprise, there weren't all that many conflicts, though there was a raging debate over the Nightsteed at one point, during which one faerie's Spicy Herbal Tea was knocked over. Allfria wrote the names of pairs down at a furious pace, her list growing longer and longer as time went on.

"I believe we're almost done now," Fyora calmly said at one point, smiling down the length of the table. Slofernia looked around. Many of the faeries were now seated back in their chairs, sipping their coffee happily, but a few were still on the edges of their chairs, their faces grim.

"Well, we all know what that means," Jhudora muttered, glaring into her coffee mug. Slofernia was surprised to notice that the Dark faerie was actually grinning.

Fyora's smile grew wider, and… was that a mischievous sparkle in her eyes? "Now, anyone who wishes to may venture a claim for Sloth."

Slofernia, who had just started to take a sip of her Sludge Frappucino, started to choke violently. Though most of the other faeries around her were too wrapped up in the yelling match that had just started to notice, the Fire faerie who was seating nearby decided to take action.

"Are you alright?" The faerie slapped her on the back, clearing Slofernia's throat. The Happiness Faerie wheezed in air gratefully, and then nodded.

"Erm, yeah… some confetti got in my eyes…"

But Slofernia was too busy listening to the sudden commotion around the table to care about her choking episode, for the Space Faerie and the Darkest Faerie were now screaming at each other from opposite ends of the table.

"I don't care if he's pure evil!" Nepta shouted, slamming her hands on the table and standing up. "He lives in space, I live in space, I'm inviting him!"

"He's the most notorious villain in all of Neopia! I want him!" The Darkest Faerie was gripping her Spiked Dariberry Tea so tightly that it seemed like the cup might explode.

"This happens every year," Jhudora muttered, shaking her head wisely. "You'd think they'd have learned by now."

Ember, who was sitting next to Jhudora, chuckled. "It's not like you can talk. You were demanding the right to invite him last year."

Jhudora gave Ember her best evil glare, but the Gormball player was too busy slurping her Flaming Bomberry Tea to notice. Across the table, Slofernia was doing her best to sink under the table inconspicuously.

"I. Am. Going. To. Invite. Sloth." Nepta narrowed her eyes, her wings starting to flap dangerously. The faeries on her side of the table all grabbed their coffee cups before they could be blown away.

"It's not fair! You got him last year!" the Darkest Faerie screamed, her face contorted in rage. Slofernia inched away from the other faerie's side of the table.

"That is true, Nepta," Fyora murmured after sipping her tea, vaguely interested. "Why don't you give her a chance?"

The Space Faerie opened her mouth to protest, but first looked straight at Fyora. The Faerie Queen was giving her a very pointed look, so after a second she sighed and sat down. "Oh, alright. I'll just take… the Grundo Chef, I guess." She nursed her Orange and Mango Coffee moodily.

"Are we done, then?" When no one responded, Fyora smiled. "Alright then. Top secret business time. Do we want to do anything to the prices at the Hidden Tower this year?"

All the faeries except Slofernia shook their heads.

"Good. This meeting is dismissed, then, and we shall all see each other on Valentine's Day. Will Doctria Slofernia please stay for a moment? Otherwise, farewell!"

Slofernia winced and watched as all of the other faeries got up and flew out of the room, some getting free refills on the way. Once everyone had disappeared, Fyora wandered over to the chair Jhudora had been sitting in and sat down, shooing the coffee that had been spilled off of the table with her magic. "Hello."

Slofernia didn't want to bother with pleasantries. "You did that on purpose."

"What, the thing at the end? No, we do that every year. Dr. Sloth has always been the most popular among the choices."

"Fine, fine. I've learned my lesson, anyway. Less publicity from now on. Those younger faeries are annoying enough to kill."

"They're not that silly, you just have to give them time. Now, what did you do with the real Happiness Faerie. Sloth?"

Slofernia stared down into her coffee cup, feigning an intense interest in the liquid. "I've… got her locked up in the Space Station, of course. I wanted to see if I could do some undercover work."

"Uh huh." Fyora watched as Slofernia blew gently on the coffee, making ripples on the green sludge. "We'll discuss this later. Anyway, I'll see you on Valentine's Day then, right, Slothy?"

"No. Not Slothy. That's undignified."

"Oh, and calling yourself Sloffy and carrying around flowers isn't?"

The Happiness Faerie glared at the Faerie Queen in a most non-happy manner. "That's a disguise. It has a reason."

Fyora chuckled. "Whatever you say. Just be glad that I saved you from the Darkest Faerie."

"You should feel lucky that I accepted your offer in the first place!"

"Blackmail can do wonders when you use it right- right, Slothy?"

"STOP IT ALREADY!"

Over by the coffee table, Samantha, the Shoyru who ran the Coffee Shop itself, was surprised to see the Happiness Faerie stomp out of the room in a rage, leaving the Faerie Queen behind. So it made perfect sense a few months later when she later heard that the Happiness Faerie had not made an appearance at the ball. But she did hear that Fyora had arrived at the ball with Dr. Sloth himself, foiling all previously made plans. And though she didn't connect the two ideas together into one startling truth, she did observe one thing…

One could make a great profit off of Faeries once they had learned about the joys of coffee.