Push -- As a result of trying my hand at Leonardo and Raphael ...

Disclaimer: Not mine. But you knew that already… thanks for rubbing it in.

Warnings: Turtlecest, raphxleo -- I'd be lying if I said the following is considered normal for siblings…

… This is a parody, btw. I wanted to see how angsty I could make a story.

The tension, intolerable glances, never having the right thing to say, sweaty palms, stumbled words, absence of touch, avoidance, hate… over the past eternity has only led to this: a chance meeting on some random rooftop. Evasion is the best policy for the moment but neither chooses to escape.

At first they square off, broad shoulders level with the ground in nothing less than a stubborn show. Of course, distance is kept; the other kept within reaching distance as if creating a self tease, but no attempts are made.

No words are spoken. No sudden movements. No eye contact. These everyday incidents are not necessary, therefore not executed. Though each appears lost to time, they are quite conscious. Their minds are racing. And they are waiting. Dependent on one another to take the first step. Each mentally praying the other will choose to flee. End this scene like the ten before it.

Red flinches his hand involuntarily. Blue's breath hitches. It does not go by unnoticed.

There is a grumble from the clouds above. It sounds like impatience to both of them. Something has to happen. They can not stand this way forever.

That does not mean they are not going to try, though.

So they stand there, on a random rooftop for some time, waiting for an answer, but receive nothing. No more signs of weakness from either of them. Each brought his best performance to the game tonight.

Red is faltering, though, and they both know it. One's nature is unavoidable, and though adamant, Raphael will not take this much longer. His brother knows this. His options are growing narrower, but there is still time to resist. Still time to leave. Answers are not worth the price in this instance and both know it. Still, feet remain planted.

An unpleasant growl escapes Raphael's lips. Frustrated and on the verge of combusting, he finally makes that move. He lifts his head up, stares at his leader. His brother. He tries his hand at burning a hole through his face with his eyes. No, he gained no such power with his mutation. But it feels good trying.

He convinces himself he is the stronger one for stirring first. That will keep his features steady for the moment. Bravery, not impatience, marks his budging and he smirks at the confidence he is awarded for the thought. His act is history. It is time for Leonardo to react.

So blue finally meets the gaze currently assaulting his features. And he is taken back by the site. He expects anger. Rage. Fury. Hatred. He even prepares for wanting and lustful eyes. But his shield drops upon capturing the flickers of sadness in his little brother's stare. Hopelessness and absolute suffering are dancing in the dark areas of golden pools.

As Raphael notices his reflection through his brother's reaction, the sadness disperses, covering up the leak of emotions with obvious annoyance. Eyelids narrow. They find themselves at a stand still again, except now it is a staring contest. Leonardo's features close up as well, and the brief but dangerous crack leading to an emotional freefall of certain doom is avoided.

The unreadable air between the two has faded though with the shift of glares. Now, Red is hot, wasting his fuel to heat up the air around him. And Blue is more self absorbed than ever, despite his onslaught on his brother's dangerous expression. Eyes remain unreadable, but it is irrelevant. Each knows what the other is thinking. Each knows what the other is feeling.

Red is falling fast into a pit of rage and misunderstanding. His vision keeps blurring in front of him, a tall tale sign that he must take action or just walk away and yet he hesitates. He always hesitates. Dangerous, they both know, for an emotion is an emotion, and one may soon open the door for more.

Blue is drowning under guilt and self loathing, for as the leader, he knows this is entirely his fault. The clear and present solution is to just walk away and yet he hesitates. He always hesitates. But this time, he does not trust in his own abilities to solve his predicament, and they both know a leader should never second guess.

So maybe they need a new leader.

And alas, Red's infamous short fuse is burnt past that point of no return. He has only one target and so he aims and fires.

Raphael rears back his fist and he loses sight of Leonardo. It is not that his brother moved, but that everything faded from his vision. He could hear, though. Another boom of thunder from above syncs with his maneuver, at least he thinks it did. No impact. He misses. No, he never --

There is no fighting, as much as they both would prefer it. If Leonardo knows one thing, though, it is that only one of them will make it home this night, should he allow Raphael to continue. Red gives him exactly what he needs: an action to react upon and thoughts fade as body and reflex take over.

One hand reaches over Red's shoulder to steady the hand. Fist remains suspended in air. Without propulsion, Raphael cannot remove it from Leonardo's grasp. The other wanders to where the subconscious longs to travel. Leaning into his younger, but bigger brother, Leonardo steadies himself with the free hand on Raphael's shoulder and neck. He freezes with the touch. He regrets it immediately.

-- Had a chance to take a swing at his older brother. Vision catches back up with him and now he just feels confused. Of course, all of his black-out moments do that to him. He tries to survey the damage, but he realizes he has done nothing physical. Leonardo looks pained to be so close to him. He is not feeling the greatest, either. His body receives orders from two different commanders now. What logic wants and what nature desires. And so he fights to remain in control. But in the past, that fight has always been a losing battle. Why would this one be any different?

There is a breaking point and neither one of them knows who starts it. It would be easier to blame the other. So they each blame themselves. Half a second later they are going under, overtaken by something they both find out the hard way they can not control.

Submerged in the guilt that maybe they wanted to lose control all along.

Frantic lips trace skin, hands firmly squeeze and though they can not be any closer to one another, they appear to try anyway. Weapons clank against the ground; leather straps are barely less than violently pulled. Unrehearsed kisses miss their target in the confusion, but eventually one hits home, and they hold it for dear life.

Raphael penetrates his brother's mouth with a curious tongue. He presses inward, intoxicated by his brother's taste and the sounds his intrusion causes his big brother to make. It only pulls him closer to that edge logic is begging him desperately to avoid.

Leonardo is pushing him now, pressuring towards a direction. But he does not know where, so he refuses to comply and keeps his ground steadily. This earns him an annoyed grunt, but Leonardo is not exactly going with his flow, either.

Leonardo has the sudden fear that this is going to become another battleground between them.

That is, until he gives in; his urging stops completely and he finds himself tumbling backwards under his brother's weight. With this vulnerable predicament, the last thing Blue wants is a fight. He wants it to be his fault this happened.

Raphael is silently and subtly offered the leading role, and God strike him down if he is going to give Leonardo another chance to think it over. He wants it to be his fault this happened.

And so two selfless brothers find themselves finally taking something they each want greedily. Selfishly. Their actions help no one but themselves.

Their eyes rarely meet, but when they do, their expressions are identical. Stubbornness and regret. Regret for what they have done. Regret for what they know they are going to do.

Raphael realizes he loves the flavor of his brother's skin and maybe he overdoes it with the tasting, but he never exactly got around to reading "Foreplay with Your Brother" and Leonardo does not seem to mind.

Neither lets up his assault on the other, because a moment of contemplation could allow second thoughts. Red comfortably straddles across his big brother's hips. He has no desire to pin Leonardo; quite the opposite actually, assuming Blue will take that as too aggressive or even a challenge. Part of the game is to keep them both comfortable, and they both hate to be held down. And so Leonardo's hands are free to roam, and there they go, firmly rubbing hot head's thighs as he works.

Their eyes meet again. Raphael's are begging Leonardo to end this. Pleading Blue to order him to stop. Tell him he's sick for wanting this. But this is in vain, because Leonardo's eyes would mock a mirror if only they had the same coloured eyes.

There is no rewind. The two stubborn brothers, so absorbed in their own pride and righteousness, keep tripping down that unfamiliar path in desperate hopes that something will enlighten the legitimacy of their decision, rather than illuminate the fault. But instead, they find what they both know will be there; shadows to hide their offensive actions within, so they do not have to stare at this mistake directly.

Leonardo is first to release himself at his brother's coaxing, and Raphael can only guess what to do from there. Delicately, he rubs his hand up and down his brother's erection and Leonardo watches him attentively. This is the slowest point of their evening, as Raphael exercises precautions to the best of his ability. Impatient grunts from Blue hurry Red on his way, though, and their quick pace is matched again. No free moment means no time for consideration.

Red drops down. Another quick contest of the eyes and both gold and hazel are filled to the brim with desperation. He does not know what to do but he knows what he wants to do. Leader is rather resistant when Raphael positions himself between his legs, but he seems to get the idea. Red pushes the defensive tail out of the way and aligns himself.

He can feel Blue's knees trying to tighten against his sides, but he ignores it. This is that edge, and he is more than just teetering off the side. With a less than graceful swan dive off the proverbial cliff, he pushes forward into his brother and his arms fly down to brace himself on the ground.

Leonardo's eyes widen, and he is silent, unlike his momentarily blissful brother. A tearing, burning sensation fills his bottom half, and he cringes. Fingers dig into Red's grounded arms; his knees brace against the hothead's side, begging Raphael not to move again until he is ready. But Blue is silent.

About this time it starts to rain. Of course it does. One loud boom and it all pours down like the loss of innocence between them has torn a rift in the sky. Leonardo and Raphael are both unmoving, one adjusting and dealing, and one desperately trying not to destroy his brother's body.

Water splashes all around them and is quick to puddle. The two sinners should be glad to feel the rain. Rain, a symbol for purity. It should be comforting that their crimes are being washed away. But for these two, another reality is understood. Their silver lining is absent. The rain only serves as further proof that the heavens are disgusted with their actions and wishes to clean the blemish away.

Even heaven can not stop them now.

Raphael risks another push and he is buried to the hilt into his older brother. For a brief moment, he does not understand why something that feels so good could be so bad. He feels Leonardo relax for him and he moves again. He notices Blue's wilted shaft and feels another hefty load of guilt wash over him as he slowly pumps his organ into less resistance.

But like hell he is going to let Blue be the martyr.

Red wraps his hand around leader's shaft and strokes with more force than before. This earns him a surprised gasp, but his own rhythm is thrown off of balance. Who knew this act of insolence took coordination? He picks up the pace eventually, and lowly growls when his partner in crime intervenes.

Pain is apparently no longer on Blue's mind. He reaches up for his younger brother's shoulders, and pulls him closer, or at least tries to. The effect is that they meet at a middle ground; Leonardo lifts and he moves his legs behind Raphael's to hold on in case Red has something to say about the change.

Raphael is in no position to argue anyway. The arm he has left to brace with wraps behind his leader's lifted shell and Red depends on his elbow for the majority of his support. His other hand works diligently at stroking his brother.

Rain pours on and muffles the sounds the sinners make as they grind and grasp one another. Movements are growing more fervent than before. Fingers dig into the softer parts of flesh. The rain stings each of these cuts, but it only adds fuel to the fire. Raphael is coarse and unpracticed. Red is rough, but Blue can take it.

Leonardo is doing his best not to choke on the rain that keeps collecting in his open mouth. His eyes are closed to shield from the drops, but to also avoid awkward glances at his brother. He is so close and he has already tumbled from his pedestal, so all that is left is for his body to get its prize for its betrayal.

A red bandana gracelessly hangs onto its owner from his frenzied movements and his brother's aggressive hands. The downpour is not helping matters at all, as soggy material uncomfortably mats to his eyes. Red raggedly breathes but refuses to stop. Nature demands obedience and will power is gone with the wind.

A bolt of lightening dances across the otherwise black clouds above. Immediately following, a deafening thunder accompanies their shaking bodies as all movement suddenly stops in a stand still. Water washes away a sticky line of white from Blue's plastron as quickly as it appears.

Actions are catching up them now. Full realization.

Raphael collapses to the side of his brother and wants the rain to pummel him into that shadow realm where he can hide in his shame. His conscious prepares to tear him apart. Now that Blue sees the monster Red has become… What did Leonardo think of him now?

Leonardo winces with his brother's thud on the roof. He shifts his eyes down to view his body. To make sure he is still there. He assumes some blackness will devour him for his immorality. Now that Red sees the wicked side of Blue … What did Raphael think of him now?

The wind picks up. Raphael risks one final look into his brother's eyes, fearing it will be the last time he will ever see the unique shade of hazel. The last time they will ever be able to look each other square in the face. Eyes glow back at him from another flash of light in the sky. In his brother, he recognizes the same panic.

Notes: I just wanted to see how angry kid I could make it. This was for my own amusement.