It's not my first kill, but -

The man lies there, his hands stretched wide in a sick parody of symbolism. His chest's a mess of blood. Snake knows that it had to happen, but as he holsters his gun it takes four or five tries because his hands are shaking too hard.

He might not be that young - people always guessed his age older which he thought was flattering - but he's still young, he rationalises. He doesn't have the cool effortlessness of Fox, the powerful mind of his Boss. He's learning - he trembles as he reaches for the Transceiver - and before this mission Big Boss had said that -

"Big Boss," Snake says, his voice huskier than usual - he wonders if, if he carries on killing, his voice is going to get rougher and rougher until none of the original timbre is left.

There's a burst of static.

"THIS IS BIG BOSS," comes the reply. "...OVER"

"I killed a man, Boss," Snake says. Sweat is dribbling down his face, free of the bandanna. "I was trained, but - I can't think - "

"THIS IS BIG BOSS," replies the commander, mournfully. In Snake's mind's eye he sees Big Boss's face shadowed, heavy with shame. "THE FIRST KILL IS OF REMBER... FOREVER."

"I - " Snake chokes. "It's not my first, but - "

"THIS IS BIG BOSS. THAT DELICATE MIND. FIRST TO BE TAKING CALM FOR MISION." His voice becomes intense, quiet. "FIRST REMBER OF KILL FOR A BOSS... THE FACES OF THE PEOPLE PRESENT ARE CONTRACTED IN A HORRIFIED GRIM, AND SEVERAL OF THE OBSERVERS SEEM GOING TO DIE."

Snake picks himself up from the dusty floor.

"I see," he says, realising for the first time what burden he was carrying. The man still lies there as he turns off the radio and walks away.