I sat in the kitchen with my arms curled around my knees, feeling the hole threatening to tear open, to rip around the edges, to make itself bigger, even though that was already impossible.

Upon the sound of footsteps, I quickly jumped up and pretended to busy myself by washing the dishes.

"Hey Bells, I was just going to go 'round to the Black's for dinner, I was wondering if you wanted to come?"

Well, I did need a distraction and being down at the Quileute reservation seemed like the perfect thing.

I nodded, knowing that if I were to talk, my charade would slip, and I would snap in front of Charlie.

I had to stop thinking about... I couldn't bear to say his name, even in my head, or I would fall to pieces.

Besides, seeing Jacob, my old friend, was a good idea- after all, being a zombie wasn't much fun.

"Jake, can you pass me the salt?" "JAKE!" Jacob jumped about a foot out of his seat, raising his half of the table, making the salt slide down into Billy's opened hand.

Before Billy had brought him back down to earth, Jacob had been staring at me in the strangest way.

Almost as if... as if he were a blind man seeing the sun for the very first time...