"Ouch"

By Uchiha-Griffin

What?! Of course I'm Kishi Masashimoto!! Creator of… um… Nay-roo-toe! --yea, that's it…--

Summary: A crack one-shot typed at 12:52 AM… I hope you likey! Based after a few pics on DeviantArt, but I can't remember who did them… if it's you let me know and I'll give credit.

I think one of them is Samurai-PET…

Anywho… enjoy, my dear faithful readers!

P.S. Kinda anti-SasuSaku. We all need to branch out every once in a while, cha?

Sasuke was back in the village.

He had killed Itachi. Check that off the list.

He'd killed Orochigaylord. There's another check.

There's just oonnneee box empty now… That's the 'get hitched and revive the clan' box.

Psh. Good luck with that one. Sasuke could've written a book titled "Ways to Offend a Woman in 2 Words or Less".

Number one way to annoy a woman? Leave your village even when she begs you to stay, then knock her out and leave her on a bench to rot. Wanna add to that? Come back after being gone for over three years and think things will still be the same between you and this girl.

Sasuke had tried that on Sakura. All he got was a nice, big punch in the jaw and the lovely comment: "You forgot I was a ninja, you emo duck-arse mo-fo!"

He and Sakura weren't on very good terms.

So why he had decided to ask her to marry him was beyond even his own comprehension.

He went up to her one day and said, "Hey Sakura! Will you marry me?" She glared at him. "Why in hell would I marry YOU?"

"Because I can't revive my clan by MYSELF, now can I?" Sasuke said. "You just want to marry me to revive your clan?!" She screamed.

"You fell nothing toward me except that I'd be a good person to…?!" "Um… yes?" He said, smiling sheepishly.

"TRY REVIVING YOUR CLAN NOW, BITCH!!" Sakura yelled, kicking him REALLY HARD where it hurts.

While Sasuke writhed on the ground in pain, Sakura put a foot on his back and her hands on her hips, the epitome of triumph.

Then Gaara walked up and said, "Hey, Sakura! I just realized I love you! Will you marry me so I can make my clan bigger?!"

"Oh, Gaara! I'd be delighted!!" Sakura said, taking his arm and walking away.

Sasuke sighed. That day, he got turned down by everyone he asked, even Ino. He didn't bother asking Karin. He stabbed her in the face.

And Gaara and Sakura lived happily ever after.

--

Hehe. That was fun. And random. Very random.

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW!!