I walked into the audition room, my cold sweaty hands clutched together. I wasn't ... I didn't want to do this, I just wanted to prove him wrong, to show him I wasn't so worthless. Slowly, I stood on the X and stared at the faces of Edward, Jasper and Emmet - the X Factor Judges. I wasn't too worried about Emmet - he usually said yes to most people just to annoy Jasper and Edward, I was worried about Jasper and I was terrified of Edward. He always said no, a yes from him was rare and I knew from James that I would never get through but I had to try.

I saw the camera men, pointing the camera in my direction, the microphone above me and the giant sign saying 'The X Factor!' I'll admit it - I was scared, but when was I not? This was the one thing I wanted to do, and see if I got through. I knew if I didn't, I'd know for a fact I really was completely worthless, I really was what James said I was. As I stared around at things I had only ever seen on TV before, I was hit with nerves.

"Hello," I said, my voice shaking slightly, but it was what happened all the time when I talked to anyone. It was only when I sang I felt at home, that I felt happy, like I was safe and would never be sad again. They stared at me, calculating almost as if they were wondering how I would sing and whether I was worth their time. Probably not, if I were truthful.

"Why are you here?"

"Um ... " See, this was the question I didn't want to have been asked. Because I was going to have to lie. Yes, I was here to change my life, but more because I had hoped that if I went to the X Factor there might be enough protection for James not to get back in my life. I didn't want to see his face again. I mean I could really say Oh, hi guys! I'm just here because I wanted to prove to my ex-husband who was abusive by the way that I'm not that worthless! It would REALLY go down just jolly, wouldn't it!

In stead, I said, "I wanted to see what people thought of me." And it was true, in a way. I did want to see just how worthless I was, how much truth was in James' words.

"Great, another unorigional person." Edward muttered. I knew I wasn't supposed to hear it, and I knew that Edward was always like that. I suppose I should have been used to it what with James but why was it that tears sprouted to my eyes when I heard it? It was pathetic. No, I was pathetic!

"What song will you be singing today?" Asked Jasper, who was always polite.

"When you Believe," I answered.

"Well, go ahead," Edward said before muttering, "and stop wasting my time."

Many nights we've prayed
With no proof anyone could hear
In our hearts a hopeful song
We barely understood
Now we are not afraid
Although we know there's much to fear
We were moving mountains
Long before we knew we could

I don't why, but they were staring at me, their mouths hanging open. Perhaps I really that bad, still I continued singing, in my safe place, where everything was good, and nothing bad happened.

There can be miracles
When you believe
Though hope is frail
It's hard to kill
Who knows what miracles
You can achieve
When you believe
Somehow you will
You will when you believe

Maybe there is miracles. Perhaps one could happen for me, I would like it. Of course, I belived they happened for everyone, just not for wrecks like me.

In this time of fear
When prayer so often proves in vain
Hope seemed like the summer birds
Too swiftly flown away
Yet now I'm standing here
My heart's so full, I can't explain
Seeking faith and speaking words
I never thought I'd say

And had I ever thought James was evil? I hadn't till the abuse started, and even then what was I supposed to say? hey, police, sorry for disturbing you but my date's abusive.

There can be miracles
When you believe
Though hope is frail
It's hard to kill
Who knows what miracles
You can achieve
When you believe
Somehow you will
You will when you believe

Or tell mom? Yeah, that would be a LOVELY topic at dinner.

They don't always happen when you ask
And it's easy to give in to your fears
But when you're blinded by your pain
Can't see your way clear through the rain
A small, but still, resilient voice
Says help is very near

I wondered when they were going to stop me. Usually after about a verse, they stopped people but tehy were lettting me finish. I wondered why. None the less, I went back to singing, struggling to fight back the nerves.

There can be miracles
When you believe
Though hope is frail
It's hard to kill
Who knows what miracles
You can achieve
When you believe
Somehow you will
You will when you believe

Finally, I stopped. All the camera men were even looking at me in shock. Perhaps it was the tears that were coming from my eyes? I swear they come in the most embarrasing moments - its like my body loves humiliating me. I quickly raised my arm to wipe them away, and waited for them to speak.

At last, Emmet stood up and started clapping his hands, "Come on guys! Standing ovation! She's good enough to bow down to!" Edward and Jasper glanced at their brother as if questioning his sanity.

"It was brilliant!" Jasper said.

"Exactly!" Emmet boomed, his loud voice fulling the silence of the room.

Emmet and Jasper turned to Edward who was looking at me speculatively. "It was ... okay, I suppose." he informed me.

"Oh come on Edward! you and I both know it was the best audition we've ever had! You just think no one can beat your Leona Lewis of last year!"

"I never said that-"

"You totally thought it!" Jasper interrupted.

"Hell yeah, brother!" Emmet screamed.

"If you do recall, we have a ... " he looked me up and down, "person, " he said with scorn, "here."

"I say YES!" Emmet said. "Can you be in my catagory?"

"Nuh-uh! She's going in mine!" Jasper said.

"You've got 2 yes's so far! So you don't need smelly-pants over here!" said Emmet, pointing at Edward.

"Yes." Edward said.

"OMG! That's the first yes that's come out of here in the past 2 days! You really sre good Bella!" Emmet squealed.

"Emmet, I forever question your straight-ness." Edward said, cracking a smile for the first time.

"Well, look at that, he's smiling B! Do you mind if I call you B?" Emmet asked me.

"Course not."

"Emmet first letter calling is for teenage girls," Edward said, laughing now.

"You must just brighten his day, Bella!" Jasper noted.

"You can go now Ms. Swan." Edward informed me.

"Feel free to come talk to me after the auditions!" Emmet screamed. "I can take you out on a date!" He called as I walked out.

I heard Edward say, "Emmet, there is no relationships allowed between the judges and the audition-ees."

Dermott was waiting for me outside, "How was it? As bad as you thought?"

"I don't know. I mean, Edward was as mean as always," Dermott nodded understanding, "but he said yes to me. I don't understand why."

Now Dermott looked shocked. I guess it really must be big deal for Edward to say yes to people. "Edward said yes?" He asked.

"Yeah. Is he on drugs or something?"

Dermott laughed, "No, you must be really good! So, I'll see you in boot camp?"

"Sure."

"Is there anyone waiting for you outside?" Dermott asked me.

"What? Oh, no. I came here by myself."

"Well, I'm sure your family will be happy to find out that you've got through."

"Yep, I'm sure they will," I muttered sarcastically, before walking to the exit and praying that James didn't know I was here.