Me: YOOOOOSH! IT IS TIME FOR ANOTHER YOUTHFUL-!

Neji: YOUTH! (Has spasms and drools)

Me: (eye twitches) Anyways it's time for the last chapter of the Neji files!

Tobi: Yay! Tobi is so happy!

Me: Tobi go away.

Tobi: (sad) But why Tally-chan?

Me: Because (grabs a ice cream cone that came out of nowhere and tosses it)

Tobi: ICE CREAM! (Chases)

Me: (watches) Okaaaaaay. Anyways dear readers! You all think that I forgot about Tobi didn't you? Well I didn't! HIS dirty secret is reveled in this chapter.

Neji: (still drooling)

Me: MAHAHAHAHAHAHA! (Lightning flashes and evil music plays)

Evil Tobi: MY lightning!

Me: Hi!

Evil Tobi: (bleep!) you!

Me: …. Oh your gonna get it now. NEJI!

Neji: FUDGE MUFFINS AND PIGGY BEEF WITH CORNO JACK BACON COOKED IN MAPLE SUGAR!

Me and Evil Tobi: OKAAAAAAAAAAAY

Me: Yosh let's start this thing!

Neji had thankfully recovered from the mental images that plagued his mind for the past five days. Everyone forgot about the whole thing… well ALMOST forgot the WHOLE thing. Let's just say Neji and Hidan stayed VERY far away from each other.

Come on Neji! Your final mission! Operation rat out the gay!

Neji sighed. Yeah I know.

Well get going.

I am, I am!

Neji walked into the living room to find everyone already gathered there. They ignored him as usual.

Say hi!

No.

SAY HI!

"Hi" Neji said. They all stopped whatever they were doing and stared at him. Neji felt really retarded.

Now they think I'm queer.

Well you are. You did just say hi to a group of S-rank criminals.

Neji unlashed a mighty roar. "YOU TOLD ME TO SAY HI TO THEM!" He yelled. Neji just about killed himself on the spot when he realized that he just said that out loud. He slowly looked at the Akatsuki sitting on the couch. He could tell what they were all thinking.

'That kid is insane.'

"I can explain" he quickly said. "I hear Tally Mai's voice in my head!" He received you-belong-in-a-mental-asylum looks in reply.

Remember the mission Neji.

"(bleeping)(bleep) THE (bleeping) MISSION!" He yelled. Activating his byakugan he jumped into the center of the room and slammed his fists down on the coffee table nearly snapping it in two.

"FESS IT UP NOW! WHICH ONE OF YOU IS GAY?"

"…" The Akatsuki were seriously scared. They of all people knew not to mess with crazy and insane people. Tally was a supreme example of that. She invented a jutsu that turns things into mushrooms for petes sake! (Me: See my other story Me, my friend and Akatsuki. chapter 20 for the chapter featuring that jutsu (wink)

A glint appeared in Neji's eyes as he pointed at Sasori accusingly. "Is it the puppet man who was partnered with a snake who molests children?" Sasori's eyes widened and he gasped.

"Are you accusing me for being gay just because I worked with Orochimaru a few years back? You're insane! I only love my art! Beside's …I'm Homophobic"

Neji pointed next at Kisame. "Or is it the half human half shark demon sword fighter? You seem so found hurting people. Maybe you like to cause pain in other ways."

"What!?" Kisame growled. "I am perfectly straight! And so what if I like to chop off a few appendages? That DOES not mean I like to do that! I'm anti-rape! My mother was raped for petes sake!"

"Really?" Everyone asked stunned. Kisame blushed madly and hid his face behind is kick butt sword Samantha- I mean Samehada.

"Or is it you!" Neji pointed next at Hidan. "The religious zealot who performs rituals on a daily basis. Tell me dose your religion promote gay love?"

"HECK NO!" Hidan had a look of pure hate in his eyes. Neji didn't question him anymore of fear of his life and instead pointed his finger accusingly at the next Akatsuki. "Then how about the infamous Uchiha! Who-"

"No." Itachi had his Sharingan activated and boy if looks could kill… wait a sec…. In Itachi's case looks CAN kill.

"Okay! It's not Itachi! Then how about you!!" he pointed at Deidara. "The mad suicidal male bomber that looks like a girl! You purposely look like a girl to get "attention" from other males!"

"NO WAY, UN!" Deidara resorted. "I can't help it if I'm born this way! Yeah!"

Neji nodded his head. Yeah you can't help it of your born like a girl. "Then what about you Pein! You have six bodies! Having a six some are we?"

"Oh heck no. And if you so much as try to contradict me I will castrate your (bleep) to (bleeping) next Tuesday."

"Then what about you Kakuzu! You seem awfully interested in money hmm? Maybe it's because you use that money to pay men to "do" things with you!"

"Oh please. All the money I get goes straight to the vault."

"It's true" Pein confirmed. Neji nodded his head thoughtfully. Only three left. It has to be one of them. "Zetsu!"

"I swear I'm going to eat you. We're not gay." Neji sweat dropped.

"Yeah right, two guys in one body?"

"You're dead. We're the same person just different personalities."

"Ahh…." Neji knew for sure he was going to be covered in paper cuts for this but it had to be done. Maybe Tally Mai would save him from Konan's wrath.

Don't count on it.

"Konan!" he hollered. "A woman who sells yoai pictures of the Akatsuki ion the internet! Surely you are gay yourself." Konan reminded calm on the outside but on the inside… she was imagining all the ways she could kill him.

"No, just ask the yoai fan girls. They're not gay."

"… okay… and then there was one."

"TOBI HAS SEX ONCE WITH A MAN! BUT TOBI WILL NEVER DO IT AGAIN! TOBI WAS DRUNK! TOBI'S A GOOD BOY! TOBI'S A GOOD BOY! HE WIL NEVA, NEVA GET DRUNK AGAIN!"

"You… had… with a man?"

"Tobi's not gay! Tobi swears on Deidara-sempais grave!"

"I'm not dead Tobi, un!"

"Oh, Hi sempai!"

"…."

"…."

A vein throbbed on Neji's forehead. "I'VE HAD ENOUGH! ONE OF YOU IS GAY AND I'M NOT STOPING UNTIL I FIGURE OUT WHO!" Silence.

"It's me." Every head turned to look at…. Tobi!

It's evil Tobi!

"Evil Tobi?" Neji asked. Evil Tobi laughed manically.

"Yes! But I am not Tobi, or "evil Tobi" I am! (spoiler) Madara!" Lightning flashes and corny music plays. "dang radio" Madara muttered. "Never plays the evil music I put in it.

"How?" Neji snapped. Madara chuckled.

"It's simple really. After being alive for so long you eventually tire of woman. Men, oh men are much better! Their hormones are much more responsive! And (this part is censored for this is a T rated fic. Sorry if you wanted to hear this). You under stand now?"

Everyone was just too shocked to speak.

"I did not see that coming" Zetsu's black side said. "Kakuzu you owe us money."

"Dangit."

"OMG FRIGGEN GOSH I'M FREE! NO MORE MISSIONS!" Neji did a little happy dace before being knocked out with a tazer. Tally Mai proofed into the room and poked Neji in the arm.

"You better be insane Neji" she whispered. When Neji woke up he stared to hop like a frog while barking like a dog. Tally was thrilled.

"Yosh! I can finally get my money back from Tsunade! Oh Hi guys!" She waved cheerfully at the still stunned Akatsuki members. "I must say. Evil Tobi being the gay one was most surprising. I was so sure it was Kakuzu. Such a shame. Anyways I'll be taking Neji back to Konoha! Oh and I'm staying here next week so don't forget! Bye!" She grabbed Neji and slung him over her shoulders like a sack of potato's and proofed out of the room.

"What's that?" Good Tobi was back again and picked up a video tape that was on the ground where Tally proofed away. "it says 'Akatsuki details' on it"

"Let's watch it." Kisame suggested. The others agreed seeing they had nothing better to do.

The Akatsuki had just watched the end of the tape that was actually the recordings from the camera's in Tobi's and Neji's eyes. Things will NEVER be the same within the Akatsuki again.

"This is all her fault (un)" The entire Akatsuki chanted together

Me: The end! So sad I know.

Neji: Hello Tally! (Flowers swirl around Neji)

Me: I see Tsunade fixed your brain.

Neji: (very cheerful) Yep!

Me: Well since your feeling so better I can announce my next story!

Neji: What?

Me: THE NEJI FILES 3!

Neji: (flowers instantly wilt away and Neji freezes with horror) NO! MY CONTRACT IS OVER WITH!

Me: Oh and here's your money (gives Neji the money I promised him two stories ago.)

Neji: (greedily grabs the money)

Me: Do you accept the money?

Neji: Heck yeah!

Me: Great! Cuz in your previous contract in invisible ink it states that if you accept the money promised to you then you are officially under the second contract that lies in coordination with the first one.

Neji: WHAT!

Me: Basically accepting the money means you're under contract again.

Neji: NUUUU! I don't want it!

Me: Too late. Now for your fourth mission you will be coming to my world!

Neji: You come from another world?

Me: I'll explain later… anyways your first mission in my world is to learn the secret ingredient in Krispy Kreame Dounuts!

Neji: What?

Me: Okay people you know the routine. Review for the sequel!!