Disclaimer:

Jeh-kun: okay I was watching some youtube amvs for sailor moon and it got me thinking of how long Mamoru was gone, I might slip up and put in the English names, please tell me because I am more comfortable with them, if I miss spell I will not bite off your head if you tell me.

Lea-chan: wait, what are you talking about, you sound so cavalier?

Jeh-kun: (continues) This takes place without the romantic involvement of the Sailor Stars but the battles still go on, don't worry I will eventually put some in. I am trying to make this as long as possible so please bare with me. I will mental torture Serna/Usagi as much as possible so have fun.

Lea-chan: are you forgetting anything?

Jeh-kun: I don't know that was way too much work to try and inform instead of making you all guess.

Lea-chan: (sigh) she owns nothing, I beg you to get out while you can.

Jeh-kun: ouch.

TIME TO STOP CRYING

Lita stood outside of Serea's house staring at the window as Mina ran by, it was time that school normally started, but today was Sunday.

"Hey Mina where is Serena? She hasn't been to school in five days…is she sick?" Lita asked stopping her friend from running by.

"So you have noticed too? Artemis found out from Luna that she hasn't been home for a week. She has been staying at Darien's place. Rei went to get her to bring her to the living world. It's time she has stopped crying. We are all headed there, come on grab some stuff were spending the night with her, and she needs to know that she has people to depend on."

"Poor thing, has she gotten any word from him?"

"She refuses to talk about him; she keeps forcing herself to smile for our sake." Mina held her head in shame.

"How long has it been?"

"He has been gone for eight months and he has another eight to go."

"Poor Serena."

DD

"He isn't here." Serena said with a sigh as she curled up in the rose scented blankets. She had on a loss button down shirt that belong to him. She closed her eyes as she shook with tears, she wanted to be strong, but that wasn't going to work today. She looked across the room to see her school uniform tossed on the floor. She thought how she should go or the girls would get worried, and she shouldn't do that to them. A bang on the door startled her as she snuggled deeper into the blankets letting her tears fall freely.

"This is Rei and I know you're in there meatball brain!! I want you to open this door by the time that I count to ten or I am getting the landlord to open it forcefully!" She hollered through the door. Serena slowly rose to her feet and rubbed at her already red and puffy eyes.

"Hey Rei!" She said with a forced smile. "I figured you guys would notice that I went missing eventually." She let out a small laugh. Serena's shirt slipped off her shoulder to reveal her bra strap, she had sloppily only done the two button in the middle and she was too indecent to be out. Rei pushed herself into the apartment and closed the door.

"Alright it is time to stop crying. It is time to get ready for school." Amy said seriously.

"I don't think I am up to going to school again." Serena said going back to the bed and slipping under the covers.

"No it is not time to do this! You look like a mess!" Rei dragged her by the arm with more force than necessary; Serena wasn't strong enough to fight back. She shoved her in the bathroom, "There are two ways we can do this, you take a shower on your own will or I will give you one. The others are coming; do you want them to see you in this bad shape?" Rei said as Serna fell to the floor.

"Yes, mame." Serena stripped and went into the shower not even closing the door or caring for her modesty, she had no strength left, morning for Darien took too much effort and she was sick of crying. When she came out of the bathroom the three other girls were there. She barely held her towel to her.

"Come on, I'll do your hair." Mina said with a small smile.

"Okay." Serena said cooperation. They were all late to school because of her, but none of them had on their uniforms, but she saw a few duffle bags next to the bed that she had used to hide in for the past few days. She had no clue what day it was.

"When was the last time you ate something?" Lita asked her.

"I'm not sure…" Serena said in a small voice. "I am not hungry so you don't have to go through the trouble."

"That's not the Serena we all love, what would Darien do if he heard you now?" Amy said fiercely.

"He'd probably take my tempture and laugh at me." Serena said with a small voice, but stopped as she felt Lita put her hand to her forehead, the physical contact made her have a flash of being held in Darien's arms. She reached out and held Lita to her letting her body warm her frozen body, it was then she realized how icy and pale her skin was, her cheeks had sunken in and she could feel her skin stretched over her rib cage.

"Something to eat would be nice." Serena said letting go realizing how hard she was holding on.

Mina continued brushing Serena's hair on one side and Rei was already pinning the other side in Serena's signature meat ball buns. Amy was picking up the clothing around the room as well as all the other debree that was scattered. After picking up she dug in a bag that looked familure to her pulling out a clean set of clothing that was brought from Serena's house so that she could change.

Serena held her towel to her realizing what was happening. Everything for the past few days she had spent crying her eyes out, but now it felt like she had no more tears to cry. She shifted her towel to cover more of her body, realizing how boney and rundown she must look.

"I am sorry for making you all worry for me. I must seem really pathetic, I am always crying it seems." Serena said in a small voice making everyone stop what they are doing and stare at her.

"Well then the only solution to that is to stop your belly aching and smile again so we can have fun!" Rei said as she gave the last tug to the meatball she just finished while Mina pinned up the last part on her side.

"I have worried all of you so much, thank you for caring for me. I don't derive friends like you." Serena took the clothing that Amy handed her and changed in the bedroom. As she looked at her body in the mirror she saw that her bones were visible and her skin stretched over it, she had lost her healthy glow and lost a lot of weight. She had noticed how red and puffy her eyes were from crying for the past week straight. She had stopped eating sweets and had spent all her spare time in Darien's apartment for the past three months; it was recently she had hidden away there. She would find herself reading his school notes to see his hand writing, calling his answering machine just to hear his voice and wearing his clothing so she could be wrapped in the familiar sent.

"Come on girl, it is time to stop this, if not for yourself then for the girls." Serena dressed slowly, she needed to be strong. She stepped out of the bed room with a fake smile across her face as she forced herself to socialize.

"Okay food is ready!" Lita said with a smile as she placed lunch on the table with a smile as they all gathered around.

"Are you guys all skipping school for my sake?" Serena said with the same small voice that sounded like it hurt to talk that didn't go with the smile on her face, that was slowly fading.

"No today is Sunday, You have been out for a week." Amy said with her head lowered.

"It seemed longer." Serena said as she started to eat slowly bringing the food to her lips, eating for her friend's sake and not to soften the screaming that her stomach was doing. The forced smile had slipped from her features and a frown took place as they ate in silence for several moments.

"So let us see them!" Rei said looking at Serena's frown.

"See what?" Serena asked wondering if she wanted to see suicidal scars that she knew she wouldn't be able to afflict on herself.

"The letters and emails that Darien have sent you!" Rei demanded.

"I don't have any." Serena said in a small voice that was almost inaudible.

"What was that?" Amy asked knowing full well what she said.

"THER AREN'T ANY! I HAVENT HEARD A SINGLE WORD FOR EIGHT MOUNTHS! I KNOW HE MUST HAVE RESENTED ME, BUT I DIDN'T THINK THAT HE FULL OUT HATED ME TO NOT EVEN SEND A SINGLE FUCKING WORD! I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF HE GOT OFF THE GOD DAMN PLANE! HE COULD BE DEAD AND HERE I HATE HIM FOR NOT LETTING ME KNOW!" Serena said as she should and pounded her fist on the table all her friends' staring up at her in shock. A tear slipped down her cheek and stung her already burning eyes from crying so much.

"Not a word?" Mina asked as she placed her hand on Serena's arm. She had sat down and looked at her plate pushing more food around to the edges so it looked like she actually ate something. Serena couldn't deny the truth, they saw through her and would find out eventually.

"He's probably dead and I am not sad that he left, I told him that he needed to do this. He wanted to stay with me and it's my fault if the plane crashed, I called the airlines his plane never landed." She looked away from her friends she couldn't take the horror stricken looks that they had plastered on their faces.

"I think the funniest part is I am still mailing letters to him in America when I very well know that he hasn't gotten a single one. I just want to believe that he isn't gone. I'll even take that he had left me without a word for another woman better than this." Serena felt all her friends wrap their arms around her and hold her as her body started shaking again, more tears. None of her friends had any words to express what they wanted to say to her.

"I am sorry I am burdening you guys with my troubles. It is bad enough that I force you to fight alongside me for three years. I am sorry." Serena pushed away from them, she felt that they should hate her as well.

"WHAT ARE YOU SAYING? DO YOU HAVE MOON ROCKS ROLLING IN YOUR HEAD!?" Rei said fiercely.

"We love you with all our hearts and no matter what we will always be your friends." Amy said holding her to her own warm body.

"I am sorry." Serena said with a small smile that she didn't have to force.

"Well you shouldn't be!" Mina said helping her stand up.

"Let's just pretend that he is too busy doing school work that he totally forgot about calling you. I bet that you got the flight wrong and that is what happened." Lita said with a laugh.

"You guys are probably right, Amy could you find out for me if it did land, or if he ever got to where he is staying?" Serena pleaded.

"I will look it up when we go to the arcade." Amy smiled.

"Okay." Serena smiled thinking she could love this lie that they will create that she can indulge in for the next eight months, which would seem like an eternity.

"Plus we would have never met Rini if he died." Mina said off handedly that made everyone smile. Serena started to laugh a feeling she hadn't used in a long time. It started in the heart and warmed her insides. Relief crashed her all around like a water fall. What Mina said was true, it will all be okay because Rini wouldn't have existed without him….unless she met another man, but then Rini wouldn't be as smart as she was, or as attached to Darien as she had been. A grin filled her face and she suddenly felt like a triple deluxe ice cream. Her friends laughed with her all with as great relief as she felt.

DD

Dear Mamo-chan,

I haven't written in two months. I am sorry for that; you really must be too busy. I told the girls how I called the air line and they said your plane never landed. Maybe you missed your cross over in London and got on another plane. I wonder what happened to the loved ones who still don't know…have they cried in their loved-one's clothing, hiding in their room. Yes, I am sorry but I stayed at your place hiding from those around me.

If you saw how skinny I am now you might not recognize me anymore. I have stopped eating sweets for some time now, and the others came looking for me. I am really lucky to have them; I wouldn't have been able to get this far without them. I depend on them so much.

I shouldn't tell you all my troubles, you must have too many of your own because you haven't even had time to tell me about them. Please at least call and hang up so I can hear your voice again. I really want to hear your voice again and know that you are okay.

With all the love in the world

Usako.

*** updated 11/1/08***

Jeh-kun: for those of you who all me normal readers I apologize for taking soooooooooooooooo long. I had stopped to study for my midterms. After my mid terms and papers were all done… well I still have one more to complete I found out that I have misspelt a lot of the names and also switched from English and Japanese names. So I am just going to give up and end up re doing this all in English names, it's easier to explain to Lea-chan who only knows the sailor moon philosophy after being awake for 40 some hours.