Title: A Lifetime of Haunted Memories

Pairing: Gelphie

Rating: G-R

A/N: These chapters are in reverse chronological order and tell Glinda and Elphaba's story through five incidents in their lives. The rating gets higher the longer the story goes.

The rain fell in torrents onto the broken ground. It washed some of the graffiti off of the pathways of Colwen Gardens, and the runny red paint resembled rivulets of blood. Thunder and lightning crashed, and the Witch pulled back from the window out of habit. She rubbed her thumb over the light red scar that her father's tears had left on her hand. Nessie's death had relegated her father to a sniveling scrap of a man. His life was all but over, and the Witch couldn't say that she minded. Her father had made her life miserable. And yet, despite all of that, he still held some spell over her. Glinda had been right; she wanted those shoes so that her father would love her more. They weren't just shoes to her.

Thunder crashed nearby, and the door to her room swung open. The lightning illuminated a figure that the Witch hadn't expected to see.

"Glinda," she said softly, turning to observe the sorceress.

"Elphaba," replied Glinda, frozen in the doorway. Neither spoke until Glinda stepped into the room and let the door close behind her.

"You've changed out of that ridiculous dress," commented the Witch, gesturing to Glinda's nightgown. Glinda hugged the thin fabric around herself and blushed.

"I'm sorry, Elphie, about what I said," whispered Glinda as she neared the window. She paused and watched the storm churn in the night. "I had no right to say it. The shoes are yours according to Nessarose's will; I shouldn't have given them to the child. I didn't think you'd mind."

"But I do mind," protested the Witch, her voice low and gravelly.

"I know that now," said Glinda, turning to face the Witch, "And I'll go retrieve them if you wish."

The Witch sighed and sank to her knees, her body deflating. She didn't have the energy to fight with Glinda anymore. They were friends - best friends - and this disagreement was tearing them apart.

"No, you're right, they don't matter. I'm being ridiculous."

Glinda smiled and reached out to stroke the Witch's cheek. "It's not like you to give in," she commented lightly. She knelt next to her friend and laced their fingers together as they watched the storm.

"You'll go after her tomorrow, won't you?" asked Glinda after some time.

"Yes," admitted the Witch.

"Elphie, do promise that you'll be careful. I don't want anything to happen to you," cautioned Glinda, squeezing the Witch's hand.

"You know I can't promise that," countered the Witch.

"But if anything happens to you...I can't lose both you and Nessie in the same week. You mean too much to me."

"What about Sir Chuffrey?" asked the Witch mockingly. She regretted the words the second they came out of her mouth.

The light from the storm turned Glinda's skin a light shade of green, and the Witch finally understood how people felt when they looked at her. The color was other-worldly and mesmerizing.

"Sir Chuffey is just a person," stated Glinda, her eyes focused on a point in the distance.

"And what am I?"

"You're more than just a person to me. Would I be here if you weren't? I don't generally travel around the provinces on pleasure trips, you know. But for you...surely you must know that I'd do anything."

A lump settled in the Witch's throat, and she found that she couldn't say anything. She wrapped her arms around Glinda's thin form. Just for that moment it seemed as if the past two decades hadn't happened, and they were back at Shiz again. Just for that moment, everything was perfect.

"Let's sleep, my sweet," murmured the Witch, standing and drawing Glinda to her bed. The mattress was hard and old, and it reminded the Witch of their trip to the Emerald City. They huddled together as the storm raged outside, and for that night everything seemed promising and wonderful again.

The next morning they wandered Colwen Grounds together. Glinda's face was drawn and lined with worry, and the Witch felt partially responsible. Glinda shouldn't have to worry about Munchkinland and the arrival of the Wizard; that was the Witch's concern. Yet every blurred mark of graffiti seemed to distress Glinda more, and the Witch finally decided to find out what was wrong.

"Glinda, what is it?" asked the Witch, reaching out to stop Glinda's movement.

"You asked me if I thought we were under a spell," replied Glinda, her eyes darting around the garden.

"I asked you a lot of things. It was the heat of the moment; I was upset. Pay it no mind."

"No, Elphie, you were right."

The Witch peered at Glinda with concern. "I was?"

"Yes. It is me in here, hidden beneath the veils of finery. I don't often let it show, but I'm not as dumb as I seem. I know what Nessie's death means. I know that now Munchkinland's fate is in the hands of the Wizard. Perhaps I shouldn't have sent Dorothy to him. If he is in charge of all of the horrible things that have happened, as you believe that he is, then I have fed her to the lion."

"Oh, Glinda," sighed the Witch, running her hand down Glinda's arm. The gown that Glinda wore today was decidedly less frivolous than the one she had appeared in, and the Witch recognized it as Glinda's way of acknowledging their mutual respect.

"Yes, Elphie?"

"You may not be the good sorceress that everyone believes you to be, but you do have a good heart. You always have."

Glinda's eyes filled with tears. "No, I don't. I never told you, but I have done something truly awful."

The Witch raised one eyebrow, and Glinda wiped her tears away before they mussed her make-up.

"I met Dr. Dillamond on the way to Shiz, before I met you. My ama had gotten a rusty nail in her foot, remember?"

"Yes. That's the whole reason we roomed together in the first place."

Glinda nodded and bit her lip. "And Dr. Dillamond sat next to me on the train. He tried to be kind to me, but like a snob, I was rude to him. I didn't know who he was; I only saw him as an old Goat. But still, I should have known better!"

"Glinda, that was decades ago, it doesn't matter now."

Glinda shook her head, "No, it does. It does matter, because I've allowed myself to fall into that same level of snobbery all over again. I hadn't realized it until we spoke yesterday. I've let myself believe what all of those people say about me being good, and I haven't bothered to look at who I really am. I pretend to be benevolent and caring, but underneath it all, I'm just as awful as I always was."

"Galinda, don't cry," murmured the Witch, the old name slipping out by force of habit.

"I've tried so hard, Elphie," continued Glinda, her voice wavering, "to be worthy of you. Ever since we were together, I've tried to be more like you."

"Don't try to be like me. For Oz sakes, Glinda, don't do that."

"Why not?" Glinda's face softened, and she looked up at the Witch adoringly. "You're brave. You don't compromise yourself to get what you want. You don't submit willingly to the life others have planned out for you."

The Witch swallowed hard. "I'm not all that. Don't put me on a pedestal, Glinda. Neither of us will survive that."

Glinda took one of the Witch's hands in both of hers. "You're not on a pedestal, Elphie. This is what it feels like to be loved."

"L-loved?"

"Yes." Glinda smiled at the Witch and ran her thumbs over the green hand that she held. "From before we were together the first time, until now, I've never stopped loving you."

A blush tinted the Witch's green cheeks. She thought every day of the past she and Glinda had together, yet neither had verbally acknowledged it since they had been reunited. Both had accepted the fact that their affair was a thing of the past, better left alone. And now Glinda was admitting that her feelings were unchanged.

"It's too late, Glinda," whispered the Witch, turning her hand to squeeze one of Glinda's. "You have Sir Chuffrey and your volunteer work. I have Liir and Nanny to look after. You change everything for good, and I-"

"Don't you dare say it, Elphaba," interrupted Glinda. "I know that you like to think of yourself as a dissenter and a rebel, but you're not. You're just changing things the only way that you know how."

The Witch brought Glinda's hands to her mouth and kissed them softly. "I never stopped loving you either, you know," she promised.

"I know," replied Glinda, smiling softly.

They turned around and walked silently back to the house. Maybe they couldn't be together like they used to be, but at least they had the present.