Broadwayphan: Hello and welcome to the first chapter of "Fictionally Impaired"!
The idea for this came mostly when I was bored out of my mind at work this
summer, but I knew I couldn't turn this into a reality (lol pun, you'll see)
without the help of some talented friend of mine.

Synonymous: HI! This is Synonymous Brian, author of 'I Kissed a Guy' which I
still can't believe is so popular... anyways, the very talented Broadway,
whose fic 'What Sarah Said' deserves a lot more attention then it's gotten,
is a good friend of mine and we decided to coauthor this plot bunny of hers!
This chap was mostly written by her with some edits from me, but I'll be
writing the second. I hope you enjoy and REVIEW! XD

Broadwayphan: Also be sure to read "Love Note" by Synonymous over here, friking
epic as hell!

Synonymous: XD XD thank you, so anyways, um, we don't own Death Note, if we
did, there would be much more yaoi moments and at least one make out scene
between L and Raito, but Broadway mostly owns Claire! XD I take some ownage
over her of course, but it was mostly Broadway's idea. So yeah XD

Broadwayphan: Why thank you! And Yes if we did own Death Note, do you think we'd
be sitting here writeing fan fiction about it? Also Synonymous owns the
bakery, I hear she's a hard boss to work for. LOL. Anyway we hope you enjoy
this work, we now give you: "Fictionally Impaired"!!

Pain.

That's all Raito could think of as he lay on the cold, stone steps of the
abandoned warehouse, his life bleeding freely out of the harsh bullet wounds
in his chest. Pain was the last thing he could feel, in his last fleeting
moments of consciousness. Pain from his wounds, pain from his loss, pain from
his…regret? He was not sure if that was something he was even capable of
feeling, at this moment all Raito knew was pain. Then, as if to seal the deal,
his heart gave a great jump and seemed to stop completely, as if a knife had
been stabbed right through it. The boy, for that was all he ever really was,
felt as though he was suffocating, it was as though his chest had been
crushed, squeezed the life out of...
He didn't want to give in to this pain, he never gave into anything, but he
couldn't resist the soothing coolness that seemed to be enveloping his whole
body. Raito suddenly felt incredibly… tired, his eyelids were oh so heavy.
He blinked once as his eyes began to close, or maybe his eyes were just
failing, he wasn't sure.

'I failed… It was all for nothing… all those years, all that hard work,
all those deaths, Raye Penber, Naomi Misora, Otousan, L… my one and only
equal. His death was for nothing.' Raito blinked once again and saw a
figure… a ghostly pale figure standing at his feet… death? No… the
posture was unmistakable, was it… L? Was he imagining this, was his brain
replaying moments from his life as its cells began to die from lack of oxygen?
Raito felt his world grow fuzzy, colors and objects blending and blurring
together and the outline of L's figure fading into the background. 'Its
all over, I can barely see him anymore… Dammit…' He didn't have time
to think more for soon all his brain knew was…Darkness.Crushing infinite
darkness, like the shade of L's endless obsidian orbs, he couldn't even
tell if he was able to feel anything. Raito knew he was conscious for he was
still thinking but, feeling? It felt like he was sinking, deeper and deeper,
yes, like sinking in the deepest valley in the ocean…

And then he had landed, softly, gently, on a surface, a soft, cool, slight
prickly warm surface. He felt relief take his heart as the devastating pain
and pressure was suddenly lifted.

Raito slowly blinked his eyes open and suddenly looked around wildly. Was
that blue? Did his surroundings just happen to change color? He sat up…wait,
he sat up? What? Didn't he just die? Looking down at himself, Raito realized
he now had his body back (what?!) and swiftly ripping open his Armani suit and
his scarlet soaked, dirty white collared shirt with it, he noted his perfect,
if slightly blood printed, chest, the bullet wounds were gone! What the hell?
What the hell? What the hell?! His head spun around rapidly, crazily, to see
where he was, and he finally began to posses the reason for the blue…and now
green.

"I'm in a… park? ...Huh?"

Indeed the self proclaimed God of the New World did seem to be in the middle
of a park, complete with pigeons, cyclists, and the distant sound of children
playing and screaming. He looked the other way and found there was a man
laying facedown next to him. Raito jumped back, startled, then realized….

The black hair…

The white shirt…

The blue jeans…

"L?"

"Mughh…"

Raito gasped, "He's awake…but he's…I'M…what is this? I killed
him five years ago! What?" he breathed.

"What happened?" L asked, in that same monotone voice that the auburn
haired boy remembered so well, as the supposedly dead detective meekly pushed
his upper body up with his arms. "Where am I?"

Raito didn't know how to react; he wasn't exactly happy that his former
rival had seemed to be resurrected along with him but, he couldn't disregard
him or leave him… "Ryuuzaki." L's head snapped in the direction his
name came from. His eyes widened slightly when they fell on Raito, then
narrowed in a look of bewildered shock. The younger man felt a slight tremor
run through his body as those intense, endless, dark rimmed ebony orbs, that
he thought he would never see again, fixed their calculating vision on him
once more. That bloodless face, that sharp nose and those firmly set lips; it
was all just as Raito remembered it.

"Raito…? But you're…"

"Dead? So are you Ryuuzaki."

L's face darkened "Oh right, how could I have forgotten? You don't seem
as happy as the last time I saw you Raito-kun."

Raito rolled his eyes, was he seriously going to go on about this?

"Look, I know I killed you, and to tell you the truth I don't regret it,
but we have to figure out what the hell is going on here before we can afford
to get at each other!"

L raised an eyebrow. While he knew Raito was right, he couldn't help being
furious at him for not only killing him and not regretting it, but also
expecting him to just forget about it? Put it aside like it was no big deal?
He didn't think so. After all, he knew the young man was Kira, but
nonetheless

"And what do you expect me to do Raito? Just shrug it off like it was
nothing?"

"Wha -No, but just help me figure out what's happened to us!"

"And then what? You manipulate a Shinigami to kill me again after you have
no more use for me?"

"No! Will you shut up! I couldn't kill you if I wanted to. I don't even
have the Death Note with me!"

"Oh and you don't have any hidden pieces of it on you either?"

"What?" Come to think of it, Raito did have that one last piece of the
Death Note hidden in his watch, but he couldn't let L know that. "No of
course I don't!"

"I find that hard to believe, Raito-kun!"

They continued scream at each other, not realizing the small crowd of people
gathering at a distance to watch their odd spectacle, until finally a man, a
Caucasian man, stepped forward and tapped L on the shoulder.

"Um…is everything alright here?"

L blinked. The man was speaking Japanese but with an, American accent?
"Y-yes everything's fine but, could you please tell me where we are?" he
asked in English.

The man raised an eyebrow, "Boston, Massachusetts…are you sure you're
ok? Your clothes are covered in blood!" he exclaimed, pointing at the
younger male.

"Yes, we're fine, thank you." L answered for Raito as he rose to his
feet. "Raito-kun, lets get a move on we don't want anymore unnecessary
attention."

Raito sighed as he got to his feet "This isn't over."

They walked briskly away through the park attracting a couple stares, and
even a laugh from a couple on a park bench.

"What could they be laughing at?" L wondered "I'm used to the stares
I get when I go out in public but…laughter? That's a first."

"So where did that guy say we are Ryuuzaki?"

"Boston, Massachusetts. Located on the north east coast of the United
States of America"

Raito rolled his caramel eyes "I could have guessed the last part. So why
do you think we're here?"

"Oh no ideas on that Raito-kun? I thought you were such a genius?"

"Look can you just chill out? You can afford to be mad at me later!"

L didn't seem to be listening. He stood on the curb of the busy, traffic
filled street they had just come to, staring across the way, dark eyes wide.

Raito followed L's eyes across the street until they landed on the colorful
object of his fixation: "The Yahaira Athanasios Outacite Innocenia
Bakery." '

That's some name,'

he thought before making his outburst,
"Oh no way! We are not going to go get some sweets for you until we figure
out what's going on! Do you even have any money HEY WAIT!"

The traffic light had turned green and L had already begun to trot across the
street in the direction of the bakery, Raito exasperatedly groaning as he had
no choice but to follow.

Claire wiped off the counter for what felt like the
hundredth time. When you're stuck working the slowest shift of the day at a
bakery, there's not much else you can do. Leaning against the shelf of
brightly colored candies, she sighed, this was SO BORING. It felt like it had
been forever since a customer even came in, or maybe she just had short term
memory. Either way the only reason she hadn't put the gun to her head yet
was the thought of the big paycheck she would get in an hour when her shift
ended. She was an average looking otaku, with ordinary brown hair and ordinary
hazel eyes, slightly overweight and pudgy with a face exploded in red acne.
Although, if it weren't for those last two features, she could've been
considered pretty.

Claire sighed and looking up out the window, saw something that caught her
eye: two men running across the street, one in a bloody suit, the other in a
white three quarter sleeved white cotton shirt and blue jeans.

"No way!" A wide smile spread across her face and her eyes widened, "No
way, this has to be a coincidence…"

But as the two men approached her mind quickly dropped that idea. They were
both screaming in what Claire was sure was Japanese, and the man in the suit
actually was Japanese!

"Oh my God, these guys went all out!"

The two men burst through the door and walked up to the counter. The man in
the suit with the brown hair hissed something at the other man, which he
seemed to ignore.

"Excuse me miss," The man in the white shirt asked. He had deep black
circles under his eyes like he hadn't slept in days. "But it seems I only
have Japanese yen to pay with. Will this be acceptable?"

Claire felt her eyes widen, were these guys for real? She couldn't stop the
grin spreading widely across her face.

"For you guys, I'll put in something for free…L!"

L's whole body went rigid. He quickly glanced at Raito who equally looked
bewildered.

"Um, excuse me?" L asked, keeping his voice as cool as possible.

"Oh you guys are cosplayers…right? Raito Yagami and L from Death
Note..." she said, suddenly feeling rather embarrassed.

Raito's eyes went wide "How do you know my name?! And "Death Note."
What the hell?"

"Wow you guys are great, really in character!"

Raito and L stared at each other and started whispering in Japanese.

"What do you mean we're "from" Death Note? The Death Note is an
object not a place. Furthermore how has the knowledge of such a thing come to
you?" asked the raven haired detective.

"Oh ok, I'll play along. "

"Look we're not asking you to 'play' with anything!" Raito snapped,
"Just tell us where you found out about us!"

Claire paused, "Are these guys crazy? Um, you know the anime or the manga
'Death Note'? You two are the main characters."

L raised an eyebrow "Explain."

Claire was taken aback "Uh…hold on a sec I may have a manga with me…"
She reached into her bag and pulled out the first copy of the series. "See,
here it is."

L took the book between his thumb and pointer finger to examine it.

"Ratio this looks like you on the cover. Who is this 'Tsugumi Ohba' and
'Takashi Obata'?"

"Let me see."

Raito snatched the manga from L and began leafing through it, pausing towards
the beginning to read.

"How do you know that happened!?"

"Let me see!"

"No!"

"Um, guys be careful that's my only copy…"

L turned to face her, "What is this?"

"The manga you guys are cosplaying from! Are you two crazy or just insanely
in character?"

"Look we're not crazy!!" Raito yelled "What do we have to prove
it?"

Claire looked at both of them, thought for a moment, then turned back to
Raito.

"Let me see your wrist."

"What?"

"Let. Me. See. Your. Wrist."

Raito hesitated, then put his wrist on the counter.

"You too!" she said to L who also obeyed

She pulled back their sleeves and gave a short gasp; the both had reddish
marks on one of their wrists. They were anything but new.

"The chain…" she whispered.

"Excuse me?" L questioned.

Claire didn't look at him; she instead turned to Raito and ripped the watch
off his hand.

"Let's see if this is the same too…"

"Hey wait a minute! What are you doing with that!? That was a gift from my
father!" The younger man yelled, unsettled as the otaku played with it.

She pulled the knob on the watch four consecutive times and saw the hidden
compartment pop out beneath it. On it was a scrap of paper with "Nate
Rive" written half in pen, half in blood on it.

"Holy crap." Was all she could say "Holy crap! This is insane! Insane!
I swear, I must be having one of those really nice dreams again where anime
characters visit me! But the chain marks, and the watch, and you're covered
in blood! Could it be that… You guys are…but how did you…and you're
both…"

"Out thoughts exactly" Raito said "Now can I please have my watch
back?"

"Do you think I'm stupid, of course not!"

"What?"

"You think I'm
gonna give Kira back his weapon? After what you did to poor L-chan?!"

Raito looked dumbfounded 'If she knows what that is I can't say I'm
surprised…but how did she know? Just from that manga?'

"I knew you were lying" L muttered to himself, then turned to face
Claire. "My… friend and I seem to be in a bit of a problem. You see
we're both dead, but you seem to think we both exist in some made up
universe. Either way you seem to know more about what is going on here then we
do."

"Well, "Claire began, "You're both dead in the manga too, sorry to
say but…" She paused, she must really be crazy to even think this but…
what if this really was real? If these guys were the real Raito and L then she
couldn't just leave them here. "Tell you what, I get off in a few minutes,
if you stick around you can come back to my place and stay there till we
figure out what's going on."