A/N: So, this is a story I've been working on fro a while. You can totally forget about Timelapse, if anybody even read/ reads it. I'm not going to post if I don't get feedback.

Story: Six Silver Candles

Pairings: Zemyx(main), AkuRoku, SaiXem

Chapter Title: Six Flames

Word Count: 752

Warnings: Shounen Ai, angst, self mutilation, swearing

Italics: actual diary

"Quotes": speech

'Italicized quotes': thought

1.

Sunday the 19th 11:42 p.m.

I'm dying. Every night I die, again and again. Every syllable, every swing, every hit, every miss. I crumble and whither and then I am no more. I wish I could die with finality. I wish the numbness could last, but, every morning, after I die a little it more, the pain comes back and I can only fall to my knees and cry. I wrap my arms around myself to keep from falling apart completely.

Monday the 20th July 2008 7:15 a.m.

"Yo, Zex!" A voice calls and my head snaps up, my eyes wide. I relax my tensed body when I see that it's only Axel and Roxas. There's another person with them today. I nod to acknowledge them and return to my book. Today it's A Midsummer's Night Dream. I've been a sap for Shakespeare.

The three of them sit down next to me in the grass. I tense slightly when I feel a weight on my shoulder. I realize it's only Axel's gloved hand; I take a deep breath and look over at him. His eyes are concerned, but her says nothing. He never does because Roxas doesn't know. My chest constricts and I drop my book on my lap. I fold my arms across my stomach and stare at my feet. The feeling will pass; it always does. Roxas and whomever they brought along are talking and laughing. I'm glad they don't see me.

This hole is taking longer to go away. I start to panic, growing sincerely scared. I feel a sob building in my chest. I stand up in run, not caring who sees me or who cares. There's no way I'm letting anybody see me like this. I finally make it to the baseball field and collapse in the sunken concrete dugout, sobbing and holding my knees to my chest. The emptiness still hasn't faded and I stifle a loud cry of pain.

Almost at once, I feel arms around me, holding me and somebody telling me that everything will be okay. That somebody, of course, is Axel. (A/N: Lol, he's actually a Nobody…)

"Zex," he begins after my cries quiet down. "Are you okay?" He always asks me this, and I always lie. Today, lying doesn't seem like an option.

"No," I breathe out, my breath hitching as another sob rips through my chest. I'm still shaking wildly and clinging to Axel as my last hope.

"Do you want to go sleep?" He continues softly. I nod, disappointed that I have to skip school because I'm such a nutcase. Axel helps me up and we start back to the courtyard.

"It won't go away, Ax," I mumble. "It's not going away." His hand rubs my back soothingly as I lean against him.

"It will, Zex, it will. C'mon, there's someone I want you to meet before we leave." Axel grabs my hand and pulls me faster back to our place under the tree. When we get there, Roxas and the blond with him look up. Axel grins. "Zexion, this is Demyx; Demyx, Zexion." A grin stretches across the blonde's face. I can see the lower half of his face from under my hair. He extends his arm to me and I shake his hand reluctantly. I bring myself to look at his face and find myself lost in his cobalt eyes. By God, if this boy isn't the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.

Monday the 20th July 2008 8:10 p.m.

Demyx is an exchange student from a town called Oblivion. It turns out that he and Axel have been pen pals for a while. I still can't get over his eyes. They're the brightest blue I've ever seen and I can't help but stare. I have four of my six classes with him and we have lunch together. Apparently, Axel told Demyx all about me, minus the more serious things. So, Demyx knows that I'm gay, I'm depressed and antisocial and OCD and just plain old messed up. He doesn't know about my father, though, thankfully.

But, I'm surprisingly not mad at Axel for saying things. Demyx doesn't pity me; he treats me like a normal kid. You know, I smiled today for the first time in seven years.

I'm glad Axel told Demyx about me. He's one more person to keep me stable. Not to mention he's kind of hot, and single, and bi.

Dad's home, I have to go fix dinner. See you tomorrow.