A/N: Sequel to Leptos, set roughly two weeks after Leptos. Still unbeta'd. Don't kill me. Was originally supposed to be a one-shot but I just got so damn long…

Warnings: Two-shot, deals with eating disorders, MentallyIll!Sasuke, contains mentions of shounen-ai.

Orexis

57…

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59…

60…

Breathing heavily, I let my upper body hit the carpet with a loud thud and dropped my arms to my side. I looked up at the white ceiling, my chest rising up and down. I winced slightly at the red hot pain in my abdominal muscles.

I wondered vaguely whether or not I should be doing this already. Whether or not I was normal for doing this.

I'd been released from the hospital this morning; the doctors satisfied that I had gained a decent amount of weight, the dieticians happy with the food plan they'd made with me, the shrinks content with my positive attitude towards "recovery". Despite my protests against being healthy of both body and mind, here I was, exercising like never before to lose the weight I'd put back on.

During my time in the eating disorder unit, there had been no mirrors, no time for exercise, no privacy. Nurses were a constant and became a factor of life in the ward. I was unable to exercise for their vigilant watch and fear of having more liberties taken away. Every time I needed to go to the bathroom, I needed to be escorted, a nurse taking me and listening in to my "activities" to ensure I wasn't purging. If it was bad before, then I'd made it worse.

Furious at my predicament and the fact that I was being made to gain weight because they were ruining everything that I'd put my blood, sweat and tears into for months, I'd started nicking holes into the drip. I'd hated it with a fiery passion.

Once the nurses had found out that I'd sabotaged the drip the white dress security was upped and privacy became a foreign concept.

Pushing my bangs away from my sweaty face I sat and crawled my way over to my bed. I wanted to rest before my next round of sit-ups to ease the aching of my muscles. Being unable to exercise for so long had left me much less fit than I had been before the hospital - Another thing that made me angry. These people had rendered everything I'd done useless, and what for?

Pulling my sheet up to my chin, I sighed shakily, my eyelids drooping slightly as a heavy tiredness set in. At the back of my mind I knew, logically, they'd only meant to help me stop what they'd perceived as dangerous behaviour, but I didn't need help. I needed to do this.

I looked over at my clock. A few minutes past 7 o'clock. After Itachi had picked me up this morning, he'd dropped me off and gone straight to work. I knew that he had wanted to stay behind and made sure I'd eaten, being it my first day back home and all, but time was money and my brother was pushing the limit with taking time off work. But I'd been given the obligatory You'd- better-have-eaten-by-the-time-I-get-home speech and the stern I-will-make-sure look, which, for Itachi, would have to suffice.

I felt bad that he took off so much time from work to visit me at the hospital. I knew he didn't have to and he shouldn't have had to.

Whatever I was feeling, it was a welcome relief to finally be by myself for longer than half an hour.

Ever since I'd been back I'd avoided the mirror (and the kitchen) and started exercising, trying to undo everything that had been done.

The doctors had said upon my release that I was at a satisfactory weight. And that irritated me to no end, I wasn't stupid. I could see the fat in rolls on my stomach, my face felt fuller and my thighs had returned to their grotesque size that I had pained to get rid of. There was nothing satisfactory about it.

I closed my eyes and made myself more comfortable in the bed, throwing my doona over my rapidly cooling body. I was pleased with my efforts for now. I'd just rest for a few minutes. My body was screaming for me to take a minute of rest, I was tired. Just for a few minutes.

What was supposed to have been a few minutes ended up being just under 12 hours. I berated myself silently, thinking back to this morning after being woken up by the shrill screech of my alarm, having unintentionally fallen asleep the evening before.

Slamming my locker shut and gathering my Biology textbooks in my arms, I headed off down the hall towards my classroom. Watching the scurrying and scampering of the students trying to get to their classes was like watching frightened animals try and escape from danger. They ran, they bumped, they stumbled, and they fell. For such a 'highly evolved' species we were strikingly similar to what we thought were lesser beings. It would seem that despite having been away for a while it was as if nothing had changed. A good thing.

"Hey, Uchiha Sasuke!"

I turned my head in the direction of the voice calling me, drawing my attention away from the others. A boy with a bowl cut and blinding white teeth bounded his way towards me with ease, the students around him parting like the red sea.

I tried to keep my grimace to a minimum.

"Lee."

Now, for all intents and purposes Lee was a nice guy, a loyal friend, but he was an impossible morning person. While some people, namely myself, required at least two coffees and a cold shower to just stay awake before noon, Lee was a boundless source of pep from the moment he woke. An energetic Lee and a 9 AM Biology lesson were pushing it. I needed coffee.

"I haven't seen you around lately! Gaara said you weren't feeling well?" He asked curiously, coming up to walk beside me. I pondered upon his meaning behind Gaara said you weren't feeling well. What exactly had been said? How much did I want people to know? Not much, ideally.

Looking at him in the corner of my eye, he looked innocent enough, of course he was, Lee wasn't a malicious person. I suddenly felt very grateful for Gaaras' ability to tell the truth without telling the whole truth.

Reaching my classroom, I reached for the door handle and nodded.

"I was sick," I conceded tonelessly, trying to subtly hint that I needed to get into class by edging closer to the door. I hadn't been sick in the usual sense of the word, but it was the only plausible story that was consistent with both Gaaras' story and the fact that I'd been in the hospital. And at this I felt a little bit of dread creep in at the thought of facing the other students.

How many people knew how much? Being from "that family" already gave me enough stares, the last thing I needed was "oh that's that anorexic guy". The gossip mill in high school was worse than a weekly entertainment magazine.

Nonetheless, Lee raised a hand in goodbye.

"Well you're looking much healthier now. Goodbye Uchiha Sasuke!"

And he was off, trying to beat the bell to the gym.

Sighing, I pushed down the dread that was building up in my stomach and entered the classroom. I didn't particularly feel any joy at facing my fellow classmates and pretending that I didn't notice the burn of their eyes on me, but nonetheless I kept my head up and forward. Upholding my composure. There's nothing wrong, there's nothing wrong. Everything has been and is normal.

Out of my peripheral vision I could see a familiar head of red hair and a bored face that never seemed to change.

Sitting down next to the red heat, I plunked my textbooks onto the table. I didn't know how awkward things were going to be or if they would be that way at all. Gaara was smart and more importantly quiet. He was probably my best bet for normality. An ironic thought, as Gaara was the strangest person I knew.

"…Gaara."

"…Sasuke."

My brain hurt. Two hours of the finer details of photosynthesis followed by an extra two hours of the ins and outs of The French revolution was overload. Way too much information, so little time to process.

Stepping out of my classroom and into the wild jungle that was the school corridors any thoughts of chlorophyll melted into green ooze as I joined the swarm of students. The pitter-patter of footsteps and the fervent chatter morphed into a dull hum, grown boys and girls sounding like buzzing bees.

Listening to the noises, I tried not to think too much about the looming period of time between 12:50 and 1:30. Lunch. Dread. It's fine.

I'd never before dreaded lunch like I had today. Before the hospital when everything was fine and everyone thought I was fine, it had been easy to be like the others. No one noticed or cared if you only ate half your sandwich, forgot to bring your lunch, or sipped only on your diet coke. The plausible lies and deceptions that could be told and swallowed were endless. It had been easy before.

I had no doubt that I would now be under the watchful eyes of my friends, classmates, fellow prisoners, whatever you wanted to call them. Visiting my room at the hospital, calling on the phone, visiting my house, it had been called caring. I called it being a pain in the ass. I didn't need to be spoon-fed by the people who were supposed to be my peers. I felt a sense of dismay at being watched like an animal in every part of my life.

Slinging my bag strap over my shoulder I walked resignedly to my destination: The Cafeteria. Because everything was normal. And I was "recovered". And I was normal. That's why I was going and that's why I was going to sit down and be normal with my normal friends and classmates. Because nothing was wrong. Yes.

Seeing Kiba and Neji (always so prompt) at the "usual" table, I headed towards it and sat myself down, sitting opposite the two boys. I tapped my fingers on my knee anxiously, although I shouldn't really be anxious. The boy with the wild and dark hair took in my appearance, looking surprised to see me.

"Hey, Uchiha - "(we weren't the greatest of friends)- "long time no see!" With this the boy, leaned over the table and clapped me heartily on the back, grinning toothily.

Unfazed by his awkward show of affection but relieved at his warm greeting all the same, I raised an eyebrow and grabbed my apple from my bag, muttering a "Hey" in reply, but he was already off hollering at someone across the room. Bored and familiar with such antics I studied my apple. Green. Round. Firm. 75 calories.

"How are you Sasuke?" Neji. Always sounding so polite, yet speaking as if he knew something no one else did. Of course he knew something. My unfounded paranoia would have me believe that everybody knew.

I knew it sounded irrational, but it was a thought, a feeling that I couldn't ignore. I could feel the eyes of everyone. Their whispers of schoolyard gossip became jeers and taunts. Their giggles became snickering and laughter was targeted directly at me. At least in my mind anyway. Somewhere I knew it was ridiculous, but it was small.

"Fine. And yourself?"

Neji nodded, clasping his hands together. Perfect posture. Although calculating and a quiet guy, Neji was an old family friend. Our families had known each other forever.

"Not too bad, thank you. Got much work to catch up on?"

An arm thrown around my shoulders and a body slamming itself next to mine abruptly interrupted any answer I was about to give. Frowning at being caught off guard, I gingerly plucked the arm from my shoulders and released it none-too gently. I glared at the idiot with no sense of personal space.

"Sasuke! You're back!" came the loud voice in my ear and the beaming face just inches from mine. Predictable Naruto who was anything but predictable. A paradox within himself. Relinquishing my hold on my apple I pushed his face away and increased the intensity of my glare.

"Clearly."

As if to spit in the face of my efforts of pushing him away Naruto threw his arm around my shoulders again and ruffled up my hair, grinning as he did so. Shoving him hard enough to get him off me, muttering about Blond Idiots as I did so, I fixed my hair, ignoring the chorus of laughs that came from the table. Shikamaru, Gaara and Chouji had joined us. They had Physics together, their teacher finding sadistic pleasure in grilling them until the last minute of class. Physics was death in the form of a school subject.

Satisfied that my mop didn't literally look like a mop, I scowled at Naruto and picked up my apple again. I wasn't really pissed off at him; in fact this wasn't particularly different from our normal lunchtime antics. He'd throw food at me, I'd hurt him, he'd throw meat atmy food, I'd hurt him, He'd tackle me, I'd hurt him…This was normal. This was easy for everyone, no awkwardness. An easy path into the routine I wanted.

I chewed absentmindedly on my apple, listening to the conversation that had started between Naruto and Kiba, previous actions forgotten.

"…And so he asked, 'Did you do last nights homework questions, Naruto?'" The teen continued, putting on a deep voice in a poor impersonation of his teacher. He emphasized his character by wiggling his eyebrows up and down in a ridiculous manner, earning him some snorts from the members of the table.

" And I was like 'What, after working 5 hours and studying for today's History test?' I mean shit, half the time I think they think we don't have other classes!"

"Yeah, no kidding man," Kiba replied, picking his teeth with a sharp fingernail "Kurenai gave us an assignment two days ago and wants it done tomorrow. Crazy talk."

"Damn straight," came the lazy slur from the other end of the table. Shikamaru lifted his head up from his folded arms and rubbed his eyes. I'd never met somebody in my life that was such a sloth. Loyal and strangely loveable, Shikamaru was a good friend. Just hopelessly lazy, that's all.

Taking another bite of my apple, I nodded along with their sentiments. The pressure from school was incredible and everyone felt it. I put my elbow on the table, resting my head in my hand. I inspected the apple for any bruises I may have missed, just in case it needed thrown out. I kind of wanted to throw it out. But 75 calories would be okay, right?

"I feel sorry for you, Sasuke."

Looking up, Chouji was talking to me through a mouthful of potato chips. What did that comment mean?

"Why's that?" Stoic.

"Well, I mean you've got like 2 weeks worth of work to catch up on. That's gotta suck."

I shrugged, relieved (stop being so paranoid idiot). "Can't do much about it. It'd be good to get it out the way though." I again bit my apple. Chouji just nodded and like myself, returned to his food. I looked around at my tired and sluggish friends - Post class brain meltdown was settling in.

Suddenly, breaking the silence, Naruto sneezed. I grimaced and shimmied a good foot away from him, crinkling my nose in his direction. Yuck.

"You're not sick are you?" I asked, my voice laden with distaste. I waved my hand in front of me as if there was a bad smell, attempting to avert the course of his potential sickness away from me. Naruto looked offended.

"It's just a cold! I don't have AIDS." he sniffed, pouting like a child scolded. "Woman," he added as an afterthought.

I didn't care. I made a disgusted face and maintained my distance, putting my school bag between us as a (terrible) barrier. "I don't care. Don't give me your germs."

Naruto just grinned, similarly uncaring. He shuffled his bum closer towards me, holding out his arms and making kissy faces.

"Aww, c'mon Sasuke, where's the love?"

"Touch me and I'll break your face," I warned, narrowing my eyes at him in a fierce glare. The group laughed at our behavior and I rolled my eyes. We were not sunshine and daisies but it was all in good fun. Despite our ups and downs and no matter whether we were friends, lovers or bitter rivals we'd known each other too long. Our bond had yet to be broken. Amazingly so, actually. There was a lot of bad blood behind us. I often found it strange we weren't enemies.

"You wouldn't do that to me, " he countered, "You'd break a nail." And finishing with that argument he stuck out his tongue. Always the mature one that Naruto.

"Idiot." Biting off the last of my apple, I chucked the remaining core in a rubbish bin a few feet away from me. It went in. Perfect aim Sasuke, perfect aim.

Kiba and Chouji were laughing at something new and Gaara looked confused. I raised an eyebrow at the red head, trying to keep up with the rapid pace of lunchtime conversation. What's so funny? He raised his in return. I wouldn't have the foggiest.

Out of the corner of my eye I could see Naruto staring at me, a frown on his features. I knew what he was frowning about and it pissed me off. As unwelcome as his presence was during those first few days at the hospital Naruto had made it his personal mission to monitor my progress and be as inspiring as possible. And when I say inspiring I mean irritating and infuriating. The ED unit didn't need cheerleaders. I frowned at the fact he was making what I put into my mouth his business.

I didn't acknowledge that I knew he was staring though. I wasn't happy with it but I didn't need to get into a conversation about this. Not here. Not now. Probably not ever. I saw how my friends were dancing around the issue of the reason for my absence, how their eyes would flicker briefly to me, watching me eat. A subject too early to get into, a sensitive subject they must have supposed. It is, I thought to myself bitterly, but they didn't have to know that. They weren't supposed to know. If it were up to me none of this would have happened.

I suddenly felt very annoyed. At Naruto. At everyone. For holding back words, for trying to be delicate, for dancing around what they really wanted to say. It was stupid.

"I'm going to the library," I announced, standing up and fixing my tie. Waving nonchalantly I turned and left, ignoring the blue irises burning into my back. Stupid idiot, it was none of his business.

Throwing my red tie to some corner in my room, I shook off my blazer, placing it on the back of my computer chair. I wasn't what I'd call the cleanest person but I wasn't going to leave a 200 dollar blazer lying on the floor either. That's where socks and less expensive clothes go.

Sighing I sat on the edge of my bed and rubbed my face wearily. School had been an effort of epic proportions, I was hoping what was left of the day would be better than it had been.

I'd stayed after school a couple of hours studying. There was a lot to do, I'd have to dedicate every lunchtime to catching up for the next two weeks, not to mention after school. Not that that was much of an issue. In fact it was to my advantage. It gave me a reason to get away and not have my eating habits watched.

Yet at the same time it pissed me off royally. I didn't need to go to the hospital like some degenerate there was nothing wrong with me. And because of the actions of a bunch of uneducated idiots I was backwards in both schoolwork and weight loss.

I was in my final years of schooling. This was the last thing that was helping. Everyone says do well, succeed, be the best but their actions let you down.

I looked at my watch. 5:43 pm. If I went down and made dinner now I'd be done by the time Itachi was home. If I'd made enough mess it would look like I'd eaten too. Sounded like plan. But what kind of person plans things like that?

Getting up from my bed, I walked across my room, dismissing the thought. Holding the door handle I was about to turn it when I heard the front door slam shut. I froze. Was Itachi already home? I checked my watch again, a subtle nervousness settling in. He was early. An hour early.

"Sasuke! Come downstairs, I got us some dinner."

I bit my lip, unsure. He would have known I was home by my shoes at the door. I had to go down there and make it look like everything was all right and nothing was wrong. Because what kind of person was afraid of eating? I just got of hospital because I said everything was alright so I had to keep it up. But I didn't want to go down there. A part of me says not to go, and the other, more rational side of me told me to stop being an idiot because it was only food - A side that was unfortunately weakening. My stomach rumbled.

"Sasuke?"

"Coming," I yelled back. I shouldn't be this weird about it. Quickly doing some math in my head I counted that out of my 500-calorie daily limit I had 425 left to consume. Unless Itachi had bought salad there was almost no chance of a take-out meal being less than at least 500 calories. I could cut down the meal.

Nonetheless I made my way down the stairs and into the kitchen. Although I was nervous about eating in front of Itachi, I was more nervous of how he would react if I were weird about it. Eyeing both my brother and the white plastic containers in caution, I took a seat at the kitchen table and folded my arms on the table, trying to look nonchalant. I'm sure it was working. So far this was routine.

"I got you your tofu steak and rice. Is that alright?"

"Y-yeah…" I felt bad. He probably thought he was doing me a favour by not making me cook.

Clutching my fork, I opened the lid and set about playing with my rice, twirling the white grains along the metal. How many calories were in here? 400, 500, 600, 1000? How much exercise would it take to burn it all off? I thought on these things, the thoughts coming into mind aggressively. Without knowing the amount of calories they seemed immeasurable. And I had a calorie limit. I had to stick to it. I couldn't go over the limit.

Why?

"So how was work? You're home early," I asked, trying to block out the thoughts.

"Yeah, not bad, not bad," he said after swallowing his food "All our images had been processed early, so there wasn't any point in hanging around."

I nodded, putting about a small amount of rice into my mouth, chewing slowly. 50 calories?

"How was school?"

I crinkled my nose, as one usually does when talking about prison at home. "It was okay. Boring, mostly."

"Got much work to catch up on?"

I nodded, again playing with my food. Raising my glass to my lips, I took a gulp of water washing the dry taste of plain rice down my mouth. I didn't even want to touch the tofu steak. It was covered in sticky black sauce. Without making the food myself I didn't know the calorie content, the fat content, the amount of salt used, if any. I could be eating a ridiculous amount of all of the above without knowing it. It seemed like too much of a risk.

We sat like this for a good 15 minutes until Itachi had finished his meal and I'd had enough mouthfuls to waver around my remaining 420-calorie mark. Which of course looked like I'd barely touched it.

I was beginning to get irritated. I wish I knew what I was eating so I didn't have to make myself look like an idiot around rice.

Nonetheless I pushed the plastic containing the rice away from me, I was finished. And I knew that Itachi wouldn't just accept it (I did feel bad that he'd wasted money on me like that), hence my nervous waiting for the verbal onslaught.

Getting up from my chair and covering my "leftovers" in plastic, I'd hoped I'd escaped the assault and he hadn't noticed, that his mind was somewhere else. No, that would mean I had some semblance of luck.

"Is that all you're having?" He asked as soon as I'd put it in the fridge, looking at me with an annoyed expression. We'd been through this song and dance before.

"I'm not hungry, I had a big lunch. I'll eat it for breakfast, okay? I need do my homework now." Edging towards the stairs, I'd hoped that was enough, and that he'd believe it. Or at least let it slide.

No such luck. He was too astute for that. Damn.

"Please don't treat me like I'm an idiot, Sasuke. I'd like you to eat that."

I got annoyed with this. What had I just said? I didn't appreciate being treated like a child who was trying to sneak off to play before eating all of my dinner. Folding my arms over my chest I narrowed my eyes, a look that let him know I was unimpressed. Feeling pressured, I put myself on guard.

"I'm not hungry, alright?"

"Don't start," he sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose and rubbing his eyes. Don't start what? He didn't need to get so stressed out. I was fine, I was healthy. Healthy according to his standards anyway. I was fat, fat, fat and I didn't need all that food. Couldn't he see that he was ruining everything I'd done today?

Restriction wasn't as easy as it looked. It was a nightmare.Your mind is telling you not to eat, you can't eat; you're too fat already. But your body is screaming at you to put something in your stomach, to give into the cravings, the smells of the cafeteria, the sight of food. Your thoughts are plagued with the thought of food, how much your mind will let you get away with, how many calories are in that, and oh god I want just one bite.

And he wanted me to just sit and down and eat, like it was so easy. I just couldn't. The guilt at eating almost anything is tremendous. It wasn't easy at all.

"Don't start this again," he repeated.

"Don't start what again?" I asked, getting angry, the pressure rising. "I said that I wasn't hungry, alright? Just get off my back."

"I know you said you weren't hungry, I don't believe you," he replied. Outwardly he sounded quite calm but I'd known him long enough to know that he was probably as equally frustrated as me. For very different reasons of course.

"I also said I would eat it tomorrow. Give it a rest, you're overreacting." He wouldn't have any of that. As much as I loved my brother he had an infuriating habit of taking the authoritarian role when he wanted to. The older Uchiha mimicked my stance, folding his arms over his chest. I stiffened in anger, this was getting ridiculous. Why couldn't he just leave me alone? We were both very stubborn.

"I'm not going to argue with you."

"Then don't argue with me." I frowned and edged further out of the kitchen. I could hear myself sounding childish and illogical because, in reality, how hard can it be to eat a meal? It shouldn't be, in reality, the ordeal that it is. But I couldn't stop the words spilling out of my mouth. I was just so angry that he was trying to make me eat that shit and couldn't he understand that I just can't? I couldn't.

He'd had enough, apparently. Throwing his arms up in surrender, he set about cleaning the kitchen, refusing to look at me, disappointment evident on his face. I didn't like that.

"If you want to starve yourself, fine, go ahead. I'm not going to baby you. I don't know what the hell you think you're doing to yourself but I'm not going to bother if you wont."

I shook my head, beginning to feel a bit uneasy. I felt great relief at the subject being a dropped – a victory – but felt terrible for my treatment of my brother. At the back of my mind I knew there was no malicious intent in his actions, but it was his well-meaning actions that caused the internal drama.

Feeling awkward and bothered I went back to my room. I felt guilty. Both at eating what I'd had and for adding to Itachi's stress. I didn't mean for the words to come out of my mouth like that, but I couldn't stop myself. It's like I'd gone on autopilot. I didn't know what to do to remedy the situation. I'd always looked up to my big brother and wasn't comfortable with his disappointment. My mind said it was the lesser of the two evils.

Not wanting to think, not wanting to feel, not wanting any hint of food to enter my mind, I started doing crunches, sit-ups, and push-ups, anything that my 4 walls would accommodate.

61…

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64…

Later that night, I was lying in bed, tossing and turning trying to fall asleep. Key word was trying. My sleeping patterns were all over the place, switching from sleeping too little to sleeping too much. The alarm clock read 11:37 PM and my body was showing no signs of fatigue. The adrenaline of exercise I suppose was still in my system.

There was a knocking at my door. Tap tap tap.

"Sasuke?"

The door opened, a beam of light from the hallway shining through and illuminating my room. I squeezed my eyes shut and pretended to be asleep. I didn't really want confrontation right now; I didn't know what he would say. I just wanted to sleep. I heard the soft thuds against my carpet getting louder as they approached my bed.

"I know you're awake." Damn. Opening my eyes, I looked at the wall in front of me, staying snuggled underneath my thick doona. I didn't want to look at him, I didn't know if he was still angry or not. He didn't sound too angry. But then again he rarely sounded much like anything.

A hand reached out and ruffled my hair. I relaxed, but still didn't chance looking at him. His and my way of indicating that I was sorry I guess. We weren't into I love you's and I'm sorry's and Please forgive me's. It just didn't happen and that worked well for us.

"I shouldn't have said what I did. But I need you to work with me okay?" Brief and to the point, Itachi didn't mince words. I didn't know what to say or what to feel, not quite knowing what working with him would involve. So I just nodded, that was the right thing to do.

Briefly glancing at him I saw him nod, dark hair shaking with the motion. He straightened his posture and headed again towards the door.

"Goodnight."

"'Night…"

The door was shut and the room was once again dark. Although we had just technically apologized and forgiven one another in a rather unconventional manner, I still felt troubled. Something had to change. Unless one of us was willing to change our approach, we'd still be ending up in the same situation. He yells, I yell, I don't eat enough, he gets angry, and I get angry.

It wasn't the first time this had happened over the last few months. I suppose he might have thought that being out of the hospital meant that I was normal again, that any peculiar habits were gone, that I was better. I began to loathe that word. "Better", like I was inferior or faulty. There was nothing wrong to begin with. I was doing what I thought was necessary. Was it really so bad?

I furrowed deeper into my bed and yawned. The pressure of school, of friends, of Naruto and suspicion, of Itachi and his disappointment, something had to change. I knew no one else would. Who in their right mind would say, oh no that's fine, you go ahead and only eat 500 calories a day we're fine and dandy with that, who cares if it's considered starvation? No one. Although I'm sure it would make my life a little easier if they would. I knew it was too heavy a restriction that I would never suggest that anyone else do, but it was somehow, irrationally, it was okay for me.

Things were going to change.