A/N: Well the final chapter. Thanks to everyone who's left a review - they are very much appreciated.

Chapter 4

Commander William Adama wasn't surprised to see her at his door. News of the scene in the gym had spread like wildfire throughout the ship. There were only three people she would turn to if she had a problem. One of those was Lee so obviously he was out of the equation; another was currently on duty in CIC and Bill doubted that she would want to pour out her troubles to Helo in front of everyone. And then there was him; the man she viewed as a father. He gestured her into his quarters. "Drink?" he asked as he waved her to take a seat.

"Please." She sat down and took the glass from him when offered. She sat there looking at it, swilling the contents slightly around the glass.

Bill sat there looking at her, knowing that eventually she'd say something. While he was waiting he studied the young woman before him. He remembered a time just after she'd come to Galactica when they'd sat in this very same position, although she seemed even more broken now than she had then which told him a lot about the strength of the feelings she had for his eldest son. Her eyes were red; he could tell she'd been crying quite a lot. He'd heard the stories about what had happened between her and his son earlier today. Saul had told him about it as soon as he'd heard the stories. He knew Bill would want to know about it straight away. He'd been told how Kara had been seen running away from the gym, obviously distressed and she'd gone back to her quarters, shutting herself behind the curtain of her bunk. Some of the crew had gone into the gym soon after and had left as soon as they saw Lee. He was just sitting in the room, staring into the distance. It was the look on his face that scared them away. If Bill hadn't been on duty he'd have gone down there to see him; he'd tried to go and see him after his shift had ended but apparently Lee didn't want to see anyone.

"He blames me for what's happened." She said quietly. Her words startled him out of his reverie.

"No he doesn't."

"You didn't hear him. You didn't hear what he said; the way he said it." Her voice shook as she spoke. "I've never known him to be like that with me before; even when things have been really bad between us."

"I may not have been there, Kara, but I know my son. He's always had a tendency to hurt people when he's hurting. After what the Doc said to him this morning, I'm not surprised he lashed out at someone. He cares about you more than anything else – there's no way he meant anything he said to you."

"I think… no, I know you're wrong, sir."

"Kara, I spoke to him when he first woke up. He told me why he went back to the planet. He said if you weren't alive, then he didn't want to be either. He's got a lot to deal with at the moment, you… we… just need to give him some time and space. Yes, he's not dealing with this very well at the moment but could you honestly say you'd be any different?"

She thought about that, weighing over what he'd said in her head. "I guess. I hope you're right." She decided to open up to the old man. She knew he was aware about how she felt about his son but she needed to vocalise it. She'd told him that she loved Lee when Lee was still really ill but she needed to say more; to admit to him. "I need him as much as he needs me. I want to be there for him; to help him through this." Her eyes shined with unshed tears as she looked at the man she respected so much. "I just wish he'd open up to me; talk to me. But he doesn't even want to see me." Again the tears threatened to fall.

Adama stood from where he was sat and moved to sit next to her, putting his arms around her shoulders and drawing her into a hug. "At the moment he doesn't want to talk to anyone." She looked at him in surprise. "I tried to see him earlier; I got turned away. Everything's going to be okay though, Kara. I'm sure of it." They sat that way for several minutes. Bill continued to hold her as her body began to shake, the tears overwhelming her once more. He sat there comforting her until her tears finally subsided. She wiped at her face to try and get rid of the tears that'd fallen.

"Do you think he'll fully recover?" her voice was still a little shaky.

"I don't know Kara. It doesn't sound that good at the moment, but I sure hope so."

"I don't think we'll survive this if he doesn't recover. He'll truly hate me… and I'm not sure I'll blame him." She turned to look Bill in the face; emotions clearly displayed on her face. "I need him to get better. As much for me as for him. It'll kill me if he doesn't."

"Just leave it for a while, Kara. He'll sort himself out; he'll try to see you, don't worry." She didn't say anything and he could tell she still didn't believe him. If there was one thing he knew about Kara, it was that she could be as stubborn as any Adama – she really was a member of the family. That meant there were two headstrong stubborn young people who hated to back down from anything. Bill's heart became heavier with the realisation that maybe he'd misjudged the situation; misjudged the situation a great deal. He was going to need help if he was going to try and get this mess all sorted out and he knew just the woman for the job.

BSG

In the history of really bad days this day completely sucked. This was the conclusion that he'd come to after several hours of thinking about everything. He'd sat for a long time in the gym since she'd left. Thinking. Everyone had a skill and thinking was his. He hadn't been aware of anything else while he was there. He eventually went back to sickbay; he knew that Cottle would send out a Search and Rescue team if he hadn't gone back. He could think in sickbay just as easily as he could in the gym. So he was sitting thinking about the events of the last few hours. One of the nurses had started him on the antibiotics as soon as he had got back to sickbay and he looked down at his arm, staring at the IV drip that'd been reattached to his arm to administer the drug. Cottle's assessment earlier had really knocked him for six and he was still struggling to deal with everything he'd been told.

His gaze shifted to his leg which remained wrapped in bandages. He hadn't realised how bad his leg actually was. He hadn't actually seen the wound within it, having refused to look at it whenever it was re-dressed. He could never pluck up the courage to look at it. Avoidance was the way to go. He didn't usually have a problem with blood or injuries – but it's a different matter when it's your wound you have to look at. Cottle's words had therefore startled him.

His mind edged towards a part of the last few hours that he didn't wish to focus on; him and Kara in the gym. He shook his head sadly and mentally backed away from those particular memories. He couldn't think about that right now; he didn't have the strength for it.

BSG

The next couple of days saw Lee restricted to sickbay while he continued to receive the antibiotics. He didn't have any visitors but he didn't want to see anyone anyway. He continued to dwell on what had happened. Every now and then his thoughts would drift to Kara again but he refused to let them linger there. The guilt he felt was increasing; he knew that he'd been in the wrong but his emotions were in such a mess that he simply was unable to deal with the consequences of his actions.

His condition was not improving with the passing hours either. The antibiotics weren't working; the infection was too strong; and getting stronger. Cottle stepped in once more after 48 hours of no improvement and decided they had no choice; they were going to have to operate on Lee again. He called the Commander and informed him of his decision.

Several hours passed before CIC were notified of his condition again. Bill had tried to pass the time during the operation by listening to the pilots on CAP but stopped after a short time. Kara was one of the pilots currently flying though so conversation was almost non-existent. Finally the wireless rang and Adama snatched up the handset in front of him.

"Commander Adama, I've finished the surgery. Your son's in recovery at the moment while the anaesthetic wears off, you should be able to see him within the hour."

"How did the surgery go?"

"I think I managed to locate the source of the infection and have removed as much of the dead tissue as was possible. This will have put his recovery back quite a bit though."

"What are his chances of flying again, Doctor?"

There was a pause at the other end of the phone and Adama's heart sank. "I won't lie to you, sir. They're lessening with each hurdle that occurs. We haven't reached the stage where he can't still make a full recovery, so there's some hope. A lot of this is down to him though." Another pause. "Has the President been successful in locating a counsellor for your son to talk to? Now more than ever he needs to start dealing with this."

"They're still trying to find someone as far as I'm aware. I will speak to the President about it. I'll be down to see him in a short while." He hung up the phone and turned to face his XO. "He's out of surgery."

"Did he give you any idea of the outlook?"

"A little. Lee himself is the main obstacle that he faces. He has to start dealing with everything. We need to find someone that he'll talk to."

"We all know who the best person is to get Lee talking."

"I know. I just can't put Kara through that again at the moment. They're both too vulnerable to even consider that. I think at the moment it'd just make matters worse than they already are."

"Then who else is there?"

"I've an idea. I just need to think it over a little more before I put it into action."

BSG

He'd regained consciousness a couple of hours ago and the Doc had told him about the outcome of the operation. Since then he'd been lying here; weighing up his options. He must have drifted back to sleep again but he was awake now. He opened his eyes and stared glumly up at the ceiling. He felt the presence of someone beside his bed and sighed internally. He slowly turned his head towards whoever it was and found himself looking into the soft, gentle face of the President. She gave him a little smile. "Captain Apollo."

"It's just Lee now, Madame President."

With that one sentence, he managed to convey a million things to her. She edged her chair forward and hesitantly reached for his arm. "I'm not here in an official capacity, Lee, please call me Laura."

"So why are you here, Laura?" He stumbled over her name slightly.

"I thought you might want to talk."

"Not particularly."

"I know how you feel, Lee." She paused and made sure she had his full attention. "I've been where you are now."

"I seriously doubt that. My career is all but over and I may never walk again. How can you possibly know how I'm feeling?"

His comment angered her and she snapped back at him. "You know what, you're pretty lucky. I got diagnosed with a terminal illness on the same day the Cylons attacked killing millions of people. I had no time at all to even begin to deal with what I'd been told. At least you have the possibility of getting better. I had no hope."

"And yet you got better."

"Exactly. I got better. If I can get better from an illness that's supposed to kill me, then you should be fine."

"That's not what I keep getting told."

"No, that's just not what you're hearing, Lee. Everyone keeps telling you not to give up and yet here you are. You've already written yourself off. You can't just give up like this. You need to fight for this. There are too many people around here that want to help you fight; that care about you." He just stared at her. "Your dad, me, Helo and Kara all want to be there for you and you're not letting us in." His eyes moved away from her face. She let the silence build between them for a few minutes. "So do you want to talk about it?"

"There's nothing to talk about."

"Stop frakking with me, Lee." Her words startled him and his eyes moved back to her face. He realised she was serious. "You know you're as bad as your father sometimes. Tell me what's going on in that head of yours."

Lee knew he needed to talk to someone. He couldn't talk to his dad and after everything else, there wasn't really anyone else available. Maybe talking to the President, to Laura, would be a good idea he thought. He continued to look her in the face and tried to mentally prepare himself. "I don't know where to start. Everything's just such a mess."

"Everything being your injuries and your argument with Kara, I take it?"

"You heard about that too?"

"Lee, the whole of the fleet probably heard about the two of you in the gym; if not the fleet, definitely the whole of Galactica." She smiled at him. "Your dad told me about it. He asked me to come and see you today, he's really worried about you. That wasn't the only reason I came, I wanted to talk to you anyway; wanted to see how you were."

"I can't believe anyone would be interested in an argument that Kara and I had. It's not like we haven't had them before."

"Like I said, everyone cares for you… and Kara. Anyway this wasn't your usual type of bickering really was it?"

"No, I suppose not. I guess everyone knows then that I was a complete bastard." He winced at his choice of words. "Sorry." The flash of a grin graced his face for fractions of a second.

"Some probably think that, yes, but the people who really know you, know what you've gone through recently and understand there's more to it."

"Does Kara know that too?"

She smiled, pleased that he'd asked about Kara. Asking showed her that he cared about her more than their fight would have anyone believe. "I don't think she really understands what she did to get that reaction from you. I think she's too close to it all to think about anything properly so she's just upset by what happened at the moment."

"I hurt her pretty badly didn't I?"

"Yes you did, Lee."

"I didn't mean to – not really. I told her to leave when she first got there but she wouldn't go. I just wanted her to leave." The anguish he was feeling was written all over his face. "When she wouldn't go, I said anything to get her out of the room. I wish I could change what happened but I can't. I don't suppose she'll ever forgive me."

She smiled at him broadly. "You two are so alike. She doesn't think that you'll ever forgive her either."

"Forgive her for what?" He was completely confused.

"You blamed her for what happened to you. You told her it was all her fault."

"I did?" Still puzzled.

"Don't you remember?"

"No. I know that whatever I said I didn't really mean but I can't remember what I said. I just remember feeling this overwhelming anger. Not at Kara. At everything – I was still reeling from what Cottle had told me."

"That's not all of it though is it?" If there was one thing you could say about Laura Roslin, she was a very perceptive woman.

"No, not really." He struggled to find the words to convey his thoughts to her once again. "I don't know how to talk about it. Since this all started I guess I've been keeping a lid on how I feel. Now the emotions I'm feeling are out of control. They're all hitting me at once and I can't deal with them."

"My office has managed to locate a counsellor for you to talk to. He's coming over to Galactica tomorrow. Do you think it'd help you to talk to him?"

"I don't know. If I can't talk to people who know me, how am I going to be able to talk to a complete stranger?"

"Maybe that'll help. He may be able to help you sort out the way you're feeling; maybe make it easier to sort out all of the emotions. I think it'd be a great aide to you and it's the next step in your recovery."

"I guess I can give it a try." He still seemed reluctant.

"That's all I can ask for, Lee." She reached for his hand and squeezed it. "Now I'll leave you to get some rest. Get better soon, Captain Apollo." A small grin was on her face once more. He smiled back at her; the first genuine smile he'd made in the last few days.

BSG

After another three days recovering from the operation, Lee was finally allowed to get back to his physio. Again his physical condition had deteriorated due to the inactivity of the last few days, but Lee continued to make some progress. He'd also begun to attend regular counselling sessions with the doctor that'd been brought on board the ship. He couldn't say he found the sessions very easy; and he didn't feel he was achieving very much but they'd started to deal with some of the emotions he was feeling. Tomorrow's session was going to be his hardest so far and he could feel the tension beginning to build within him at the prospect of discussing this particular issue. Kara; or more importantly his feelings for Kara. He went to the session with a certain amount of reluctance. The Doctor was waiting for him and motioned him into the room. They sat in silence looking at each other for several minutes. The Doctor was waiting for Lee to say something; Lee had no idea where to start.

"When did you first meet Kara?" He finally gave Lee an opening.

"When I was training to be a pilot; she was in my class." He smiled as the memory hit him. "She was the best in my class."

"Were you friends straight away?"

"No. She saw me as someone who'd only got there because of who my dad was."

"So how did you end up being friends?"

"I beat her in one of the tests." He smiled even more. "That really frakked her off but she also realised I was there because I wanted to fly; because I could fly. We ended up spending more time together and became really good friends."

"Just friends?"

"Yes."

"But she's more than a friend to you now though isn't she?"

"I don't know." Silence fell once more. Eventually Lee spoke, filling the gap. "Physically we're still only friends but I've loved her for a long time. Probably almost as long as I've known her. But there's too much history between us. I'm not sure we can ever be more than just friends."

"How does that make you feel?"

"Confused, I guess. Sad."

"Do you think you can remain friends with her when you feel more than that?"

"I don't know. Everything she does makes the feelings more intense; even the smallest of things. I'm not sure I can only be a friend to her. I don't think I can remember how to."

"Have you ever considered the possibility that she may feel the same way about you?"

"She sees me more as a brother and a friend than anything else."

"You're sure about that?"

"Yes. There's no way she feels that way about me. Any love she has for me is as a friend." He almost seemed to be trying to convince himself with what he was saying.

"Why do you think it's such an impossibility for her to have feelings for you that are beyond platonic?" Lee floundered; opening and shutting his mouth, trying to find an answer to that question. "Is it that you're scared of what would happen if she did have?"

"But she doesn't." His words were quiet; less certain than his previous answer.

"Hypothetically speaking, if she did love you the way that you love her, what would you do?"

"I don't know. I never thought there was any chance of it happening, especially after she got together with Zak."

"Okay, how did you feel when she got together with Zak? I take it you had feelings for her by then?"

"Yes I did. I felt numb. I wanted to be happy for them and I think in a small way I was. I wanted them both to be happy; but it hurt to see them so happy together. I've never really thought about this before; I suppose I just tried not to think about any of these things too much; if I didn't think about it, I didn't have to deal with it I suppose."

"Do you think that now is maybe the time for you to start dealing with them?"

"My brother's dead; we've all been through so much. Why try to make things harder?"

"Maybe it won't make things harder. Maybe you think it would be because of the unresolved feelings between you and Kara."

"I still don't believe that she would feel that way about me."

"Don't or can't? From what your father and the President have said to me; from what you've said to me; I think you think you'll be betraying your brother if you were to tell her how you feel. And maybe you're a little afraid of rejection. As scared as you are that she may want to be with you too, you also think she may not." Lee said nothing, absorbing what he was being told. The Doctor continued. "I think the main problem you have is that until you face up to the way you feel about her; nothing between the two of you will ever get easier. You'll constantly be battling the emotions that are going on within you. In the process you'll only be hurting her more. Do you want to discuss what happened between you the last time you saw her?"

"You mean in the gym?" The Doctor nodded his head. "I really hurt her that day. I didn't mean to but I…" his words faltered. "I can't even really remember what I said to her exactly. I've been told that I blamed her for everything and said I hated her. How could I say that to her? I don't think that… do I?" He looked defeated.

"Try and remember what happened that day. Next time we meet, we will discuss this further."

Their session was at an end and Lee had a lot to think about.

BSG

Several more days passed and Lee continued both his physio and his counselling. He worked hard at both and he felt better for it. He'd finally regained all his strength in his upper body; this meant they could now progress to working on his leg. Cottle had re-examined him the day before and he was also pleased with his progress. His heart and kidneys appeared to have finally recovered completely from the damage. He'd need to be careful in the future but it was definitely a step in the right direction. He was also beginning to deal with his feelings about Kara. He'd spoken about her in every session that he'd had since that first time and he finally felt able to deal with it. He needed to see her – but he was going to need some assistance in order to get her there. "I need your help, Karl."

"My help? With what?"

Lee stared down at his left leg and saw again just how much damage there was to it. The bandages had been removed this morning and it'd been the first time that he'd looked at it. It wasn't pretty. He mentally shook himself and looked at the Lieutenant before him. "I need to see Kara. We need to talk."

"Like you did last time you saw her?" Helo said accusingly, still feeling protective towards his friend, even though he now called Lee a friend as well.

Guilt rose within Lee once again at these words. "No, I need to talk to her. Properly. I need to apologise for what I said; for how I treated her. Friends don't do that to each other."

"Friends?"

Dodging the question once again. "Will you help to get her to meet me? She won't come if I ask."

Karl looked at him, deep in thought. "I can try but it could take a few days. She's not really dealing with anything very well at the moment. She's tending to avoid everyone. It may take me a long time to get her to agree to meet me." Lee nodded; a look of disappointment on his face.

BSG

Karl was right; she didn't agree to meet her friend for several days and she very nearly backed out when he told her the location. The gym was not somewhere she felt inclined to go to. Memories flashed back through her mind as she made her way towards her destination. As before she had to mentally prepare herself before she was able to enter the room. She faltered when she did and found the last man she wanted to see there already. She looked around the room hoping that Helo was waiting for her somewhere within, but knowing that would not be the case. She'd been set up and she knew it. She stood where she was, almost in the same position as when she'd last entered this room.

Lee looked up from where he was. "Kara." He was met with silence. He continued to stare at her; taking in her appearance; falling in love with her all over again.

She looked at him as well. He looked different from the last time she had seen him. Her gaze drifted down and she saw his leg for the first time. She couldn't hide her reaction to it from him and he felt a stab of panic enter his mind; one that he quickly pushed away. He was balancing on his arms; utilising the strength that he'd regained. His leg was secured in a brace that the deck crew had managed to put together. It allowed him to stand up at least; but until he was able to build up more strength and muscle in his left leg so that it could give him the support he needed, that was about as much as he could hope for.

"You came."

"Yeah, well, an apparent friend of mine wanted to see me. He's not here though, so maybe I should go." She made to move her way back out of the room.

"Kara, wait." She stopped at his words, but her back was still to him. "Helo agreed to help me. I wanted to see you."

"That's not what you said last time we were here." Her tone was angry and disappointed at the same time.

"I know. I'm so sorry about that. Kara, look at me please?" She didn't move for quite a while and Lee's hope began to fade; then she turned and faced him once more, still not letting her eyes meet his. "I never should've said the things I said to you that day. I never meant them; any of them. I hope that you can believe me. I wish I could take back everything I said to you; but I know I can't. No one should ever treat anybody the way I treated you that day," he swallowed nervously, "especially not someone who means more to them than life itself." Her eyes darted to his and held his gaze; the silence building between them once more.

Lee continued to talk. "None of this was your fault and I know that. I've always known that. It was my decision to go back to the planet; nobody forced me to do so. It was wrong of me to blame you. For such a long time I've never been able to talk to you properly. Never been brave enough to tell you what I'm thinking; how I feel."

"Lee…"

"Kara, please let me say this." He took a deep breath, mentally preparing himself for what he was about to say. "I've been lying to you about the way I feel for so many years that I've gotten used to it. Part of me doesn't know how to do anything else. But I need to stop lying; I need to tell you the truth." Another breath. "I love you Kara. I always have done and probably always will."

"Lee…"

He interrupted her once more. "The first time I saw you, you took my breath away. I fell in love with you that very moment. I should've told you this a long time ago but I guess I was scared. Scared you wouldn't feel the same way about me; maybe even afraid that you would. Then you met Zak and I knew that I had no chance with you. When the Cylons attacked and I was stranded on this ship; for a while I thought that maybe there was a chance but couldn't risk losing our friendship. I told my dad a while ago that if you died then I didn't want to live either. Those feelings have never lessened; they grow stronger every day, every time I see you." His voice trailed off, looking into her eyes, hoping they'd give him a clue as to what she was thinking. "Say something please, Kara."

"Lee," her voice faltered slightly, "Lee, you're walking." Her eyes lit up as she moved towards him. He looked down to where he was standing and realised that he had indeed moved several steps forward. His first steps since he had started physio. His shocked expression returned to her face and she was suddenly there right before him. Her hand tentatively came up and caressed his cheek. Wrapping her other arm around his shoulders she pulled him into an embrace. Using her to maintain his balance, he repeated her actions, pulling her as close to him as he could. She whispered gently to him. "I love you too, Lee. I always have."

They both knew they would be okay. After everything they'd been through, their friendship; their feelings for one another hadn't changed, had in fact strengthened. Anything that was thrown at them now would only make them even stronger. Lee loosened his grip on her and pulled away to look into her eyes. She looked back at him and smiled. Her hand that'd been caressing his face earlier had moved to the back of his neck. She pulled his head forward and their lips met gently for the first time. A kiss that conveyed the feelings they felt for each other. A kiss that grew deeper as time passed.

They knew that they'd do anything for each other; be there for each other at all times; whatever the cost.

The End