Chapter 4: Smile!
Disclaimer: You know the drill.
A/N: Last chapter! So sad! Oh…I'm writing a really big story so be on the look out for that. It probably won't be up for awhile, but…hey forewarning never hurt anyone.
Thanks to all who reviewed! I hope you enjoy!
ENJOY!! (Man, am I redundant or what?)
After a moments' hesitation Sam nodded to Daniel who got the message. Gesturing silently to Teal'c, he led the big man out of the tent and back into their own. They always shared a tent…as did Sam and Jack. Nobody ever talked about why it was like that. They just accepted it and swept it under the metaphorical rug; hidden from anyone's prying 'less-than-friendly' eyes.
Once Sam was sure they were gone, she gently pushed the colonel back onto his sleeping bag. He didn't fight her and merely allowed her to adjust the pillow under his head. He opened his mouth to thank her when his voice died in his throat.
Sam tentatively laid down beside her CO and settled against him. He was on his back, staring at the blank expanse of canvas above him, surprised. She was turned on her side one arm wrapped around the colonel's torso and her head tucked against his shoulder.
"Carter?" he questioned softly.
"Body heat, sir." Sam quipped. In all honesty, she didn't have a good reason for doing what she was doing other than it felt like the right thing to do. And Sam highly doubted that feelings were a viable argument when faced with a court martial. In fact…feelings are what had caused the whole mess in the first place.
"But I'm not cold." Jack said slowly. 'Why the hell is she doing this? She can't…she doesn't…no. Stop it! She doesn't feel the same way about you! She's only taking pity on you.' His thoughts stung him, but he knew they must be true. Carter definitely did not return his oh-so-inappropriate feelings…did she?
She snuggled deeper into his side and smiled into his shirt. "Yes, sir." She said quietly.
"Carter?" he asked again.
"Yes, sir?"
"You're really here, right? I'm really here?" his apprehension crept into his tone and she pulled away slightly. Turning on his side to face her, he propped himself up on his elbow so that he was looking down at her. It would be so easy to just lean down and…Jack mentally shook himself. He shuddered…if he ever did that Carter would kick his ass.
Sam's eyes looked earnestly up into Jack's, gleaming seriously. "Yes, sir. You're really here. I'm really here. This isn't another dream."
"Yeah…that's what all dream-people say." He muttered.
Sam smiled. "I promise this isn't a dream, colonel."
"You promise?" he eyed her in mock consideration. "Well…I'm not sure I can take your word for it." Jack inwardly kicked himself. 'What the hell are you doing? Your 2IC…Sam…is lying pressed against you and you decide now is a good time to flirt? You've lost it! You've finally misplaced all those damn fries! Off your rocker! Ah, hell…'
Sam kept her face carefully passive, but inside she was shaking. 'Oh, Holy Hannah. What am I doing? This is bad…bad idea! Bad! Ah, geez…he's so damn close. If I just reached up…No! No! Bad!' Despite her self-deprecating rant Sam found herself returning his carefree smile.
"Then what can you take for it, sir?" Her eyes twinkled mischievously.
Jack remained silent, just staring into her familiar blue eyes. Warm blue eyes that had been transformed into agony muddled grey ones only moments ago. Jack shook his head slightly. No…it had all been a nightmare. A really horrible nightmare. Carter was fine. She was here and she was fine. No blood…no broken bones…no imminent death.
Sam watched the internal battle in the colonel's eyes. He was staring at her, but she had a feeling that he wasn't seeing her. She started to reach up to touch his face, but decided against it. They were already breaking countless regs by doing what they were doing.
"Sam?" the sudden use of her first name and the slight urgency in his tone caused her eyes to snap worriedly to his.
"Sir?"
His eyes roved over her face intently for a minute, noticing the attractive flush growing in her cheeks. Jack sighed and laid back down, unconsciously moving closer to Sam, effectively closing the distance between them. He stared sightlessly up at the tent surface again.
"It was bad." His voice was hushed and Sam's heart clenched.
"Do you want to talk about it?" She asked quietly, following his gaze to the "ceiling."
"You don't wanna hear it." Sam's eyes snapped to his face at his bitter tone.
"Why not?" Sam struggled to keep her voice light. She wanted to hit him. She really did. She wanted to yell at him to let her in; to talk to her.
But, she couldn't do that. He was her superior officer…he could only ever be her superior officer. She had no right to demand that he confide in her about anything.
Jack shrugged awkwardly. "Because it was bad." He repeated his earlier statement.
"I'm sorry, sir." Sam was at a loss as to what to say.
"Not your fault." He replied, still not looking at her.
"Please…sir." Her voice was soft and held a note of dignified pleading. "Tell me. Talk to me." 'Didn't you just agree that you weren't gonna do that?' she silently berated herself. 'That's outright insubordination.'
Jack turned startled eyes on her. She could barely see him in the dim light, but she knew him well enough to know he was still immersed in his internal battle.
"You were on a recon mission with SG-6." Jack said suddenly, holding her gaze. "Something went wrong. You came flying through the stargate alone." He paused knowing that if he continued his voice would break.
Sam nodded encouragingly. She knew that he was far from done. Against her better judgment she reached out and found his hand. She was mildly surprised when he didn't pull away, instead curling his fingers around hers protectively.
"When I say flying, Carter…I mean it. You hit the wall underneath the control room." His throat locked up again and Jack squeezed Sam's hand. He could barely see her face, but her concern was shining out of her eyes. "You were…hurt, Carter. Really hurt. There was blood and Frasier said your…" Jack trailed and rolled on his side again, his face level with hers…only a few inches separating them.
He cleared his throat. "Um…Frasier said that she couldn't move you…that your neck may have been broken." He finished roughly, his vocal cords tight. "And then…I was here. You were…here."
Sam's eyes roamed over his face as he spoke, noting the bitter, upset emotions coursing through his eyes. She held his eyes before ducking her head into his chest and taking a deep breath. He smelled like…him. That scent that was just him. The scent that wrapped around her comfortingly…that she often woke up missing when she realized he wasn't next to her. That was one of the reasons she was always secretly glad when they went on missions; she almost always got to wake up with him beside her.
She heard Jack's steady heartbeat and continued to stay silent. What could she say? 'It was just a dream' was way too cliché and held no comfort. 'Everything will be okay' was better, but still held no absolution. 'It's okay, I'm right here' was even better, but too intimate.
Sam almost laughed at herself. 'Too intimate? Yeah, like it gets more intimate than this. You're cuddled against him, major. You've crossed that line.' But Sam couldn't help but acknowledge that he hadn't pulled away. In fact, he wrapped his arm around her back, pressing her tighter against him. So…if he didn't return her feelings…why the hell was he doing that?
"Thank you." Jack whispered, his breath tickling her ear.
Sam tried to look up at him, but he kept her head firmly under his chin. "For what?" her muffled voice reached his ears.
"For being alive." 'God, that sounded stupid.' He kicked himself again. "For keeping my nightmares just nightmares."
"Your welcome." Sam was utterly taken aback, her voice slow and slightly halting. She realized what it had taken for the colonel to admit that. Wanting to ease his anxiety she took a deep breath and buried her face further into his shirt. "I guess I should thank you for the same thing, sir."
She felt his arm around her tighten in confusion. "Dreaming of me, Carter?" he tried to lighten the mood.
He felt her smile through his shirt. "Maybe a little." The sincerity and hint of…something…in her tone caused his heart to beat a little faster. A fact that he was sure she could hear.
"You wanna talk about it?" he parroted her earlier question.
Sam chuckled. "You got a few days?"
"For you, sure." He froze. What the hell did he just say? That was not supposed to have come out. He felt Sam's hand tighten on his.
"Thank you." Sam mumbled into his chest. He had meant that. There was no hint of sarcasm or disdain…just pure accepting honesty.
"For?" he prompted.
"Everything." Jack knew she was talking about a lot more than dreams.
"Carter…" he trailed.
"We shouldn't do this." Sam's voice was low; resigned.
Jack sighed, angry that they had been dealt such an unfair hand. "I'm running out of reasons why we shouldn't." he growled into her neck.
"Regulations--," Sam started, but Jack cut her off.
"Forget the regulations." His voice shook. "We deserve this, dammit."
"I know." Sam said quietly. All doubt that the colonel didn't return her feelings were eradicated from her mind. But, this couldn't be happening…could it? He wasn't honestly suggesting they break the rules? 'But…aren't I?' she realized with sudden clarity. She had been the one to get all cozy with him.
"They owe us a few favors, right? What with the whole saving the world thing?" he could hear the note of desperation in his tone. "Several times?"
Sam nodded her head, not trusting her voice.
"Seven years." He stated flatly. "I can't do this anymore."
Sam blanched. Was he saying that he was resigning? Quitting? Or was he giving up on them?
"Do what?" her voice was strangled.
"You know what." He replied softly. He gently eased her head back so that he could look into her eyes. They were wide, hardly daring to believe him.
Sam slowly shook her head, never breaking eye contact. "I can't either." She purposely dropped the 'sir.'
"So…what do we do?" He was leaving it up to her. They could turn away from each other right now and give up…or they could turn their backs on the rules and give in.
The latter sounded much more preferable. To both of them.
"I don't want to pretend anymore." Sam chose her words carefully, the telltale prickling at the corners of her eyes warning her of the impending waterworks. "I…" losing her courage she stared pleadingly at him. "What do you want?"
Jack's eyes were shadowed, but his lips twitched. "I want…" he trailed off, moving his face almost imperceptibly closer to hers.
"What?" Sam prompted, her breath coming in shallow gasps.
"A chance." He finished. Before she could reply, he lowered his mouth and captured her lips in his. She responded immediately, reaching a hand up to cup his jaw. His hand cupped the back of her neck and pulled her closer, deepening the kiss. It was wonderful. Hard and passionate, but soft and lingering at the same time.
Sam reluctantly broke away when the pesky need for oxygen reared its head. Jack pressed his forehead to hers as both officers laid their heads on Jack's pillow. "Wow." He murmured, breath tickling Sam's lips.
"Hmm." Sam agreed, her eyes half-lidded, but bright.
"And you're…absolutely sure about this?" his hand smoothed over her back in slow, soothing circles.
"Definitely." Sam answered resolutely. Right then and there she swore that if anyone tried to take him away from her…she would kill them. Oh yes…definitely kill them. She didn't know it, but Jack had just promised the same thing.
"I…Carter…" he paused. He had to do this. He had to just get it out there and hope for the best. "Sam...I love you."
Sam froze in disbelief. Colonel Jack O'Neill, the man she had loved for seven years, was admitting possibly the most dangerous thing someone can ever admit. His eyes were unguarded as he looked into hers. She knew that he wasn't expecting a reply. 'Well, too bad.' She thought giddily. 'You're gonna get one.'
"Jack O'Neill." Sam started, smiling through her telling tears. "I love you too."
Jack's eyes fairly glowed with happiness. He had expected to be rebuked or at least to get a stuttered, 'I—I like you, but I don't love you.' But…no. Oh. Good. God. She loved him.
Moving faster than he had ever moved in his life, Jack pressed his lips to hers again. Sam laughed into his mouth. His little-boy exuberance was beyond adorable. Infectious, too. She returned the kiss with everything she had, pleased when Jack growled against her lips. She knew she was blushing furiously, but it didn't matter. He loved her.
He loved her. And she sure as hell loved him.
Jack rolled so that he was halfway on top of her, knowing this could go no further. Not with Daniel and Teal'c right there. Growling again, he smiled when he elicited a small moan from Sam.
Once again the need for oxygen overtook them both and they broke apart. Jack rested his forehead against hers, but did not move himself off of her.
"I can't believe I didn't do this before." He muttered, lips brushing against hers.
She shivered pleasantly. "Me neither."
"I can't believe this is happening." His voice was deep, husky.
"Me neither."
"I can't remember why we waited." Jack smiled, predicting her response.
"Me neither." Her voice was pitched low and slightly breathy.
"I'm sensing a pattern here." He quipped.
Sam laughed. "Me too."
Jack paused, gazing thoughtfully into her eyes. Her cheeks colored under his intense scrutiny.
"What?" she asked, surprised her voice managed to work at all.
"You're incredible." He murmured, pressing a chaste kiss on her lips.
Sam's eyes shone. "You're not so bad yourself."
He smiled and brushed gentle fingers through her hair, over her cheek, and down to her collarbone. "You deserve more."
Sam sighed. "No." she said firmly, clutching a fistful of his shirt. "We deserve this."
Jack smiled, willingly believing her. He lowered his lips to hers again. "I love you, Carter. A lot." He whispered against her lips.
Her lips parted invitingly, but before she could respond he kissed her again. He didn't think he would ever get tired of it.
Neither did she.
When he pulled back slightly she opened her eyes and met his warm brown ones. "I love you more than you'll ever know, Jack." She enjoyed the foreign feel of his name. She had a feeling she'd be using it a lot more.
Damn it felt good to be in love.
A sudden noise from the entryway of their tent caused them both to turn around.
Daniel grinned wickedly. "Smile!"
The flash of a camera illuminated the tent for a brief moment before two teasingly irritated voices rang through the night air.
"Daniel!"
The End
A/N: A little conspiratorial humor to end with. LOL. Please R&R!!