If Judgment Day Were an RTS...
Author's Note: I might be a little high right now. I regret nothing. Anyway, an RTS basically means "real time strategy," usually referring to a video game played from a certain viewpoint where you may control armies and build up nations at your whim. This is mostly inspired by other such similar RTS concepts, such as "if WW2 were an RTS." Search it on google if you want.
Welcome to Earth War 2011! Control the fate of new age empires, guide your people to victory, crush your adversaries with an iron fist, or charm them over to your side with diplomacy! In Earth War, you are in control...
USofA has joined the game
USofA: where is every1??
USofA: hello
USofA: HELLO?
USofA: HELLO?
USofA: HELLO?
USofA: HELLO?
USofA: HELLO??11?!
Rusha has joined the game
Germini has joined the game
LeFrench has joined the game
UK has joined the game
Packeestan has joined the game
Indeeah has joined the game
Earon has joined the game
N. Coreeea has joined the game
Izreeael has joined the game
Chinah has joined the game
USofA: o there u r
Rush: yo.
UK: sup
LeFrench: le cheese :)
Earon: lol holocaust
USofA: dats racist.
Earon: so? lol
Rusha: LOL
N. Coreea: OMG LOL
Izreeael: guys, im gonna bomb your sorry asses if u dont shut up
USofA: u tell em jews
Packeestan: this country sucks, i have so many rebels
Indeeah: thats okay i can help just let us into your countree to clean them up
Packeestan: um no u'll just take us ova
Indeeah: ur so paranoid god im totally gonna aim some nukes at u now
Packeestan: WTF I DIDN'T DO ANYTHINNNG TO U
Indeeah: not yet and besides u sed u hate ur country
USofA: god, i hate afghanistan they won't stop shooting me. iz, help?
Izreeael: nah, syria looks pretty tempting rite now
USofA: dude u gotta stop bombing shit it makes me look bad when u fly off da handle like dat
Izreeael: i cant help it.
The Nation of Israel has declared WAR on Syria!
Earon: WTF :( INFEEDALES
N. Coreea: why u do that
Izreeael: they keep shooting me and denying it itd just be easier to take them over, less stressful dat way. oy.
N. Coreea: i condemn that, u wid me ear?
Earon: totally. god hates u and wants u to explode iz.
Izreeal: sigh AMERICA
USofA: WUT
Izreeal: can u take care of dose idoots 4 me?
USofA: STFU OR I BOMB
Earon: DUDE SORRY
N. Coreea: I DON'T HAVE NUKES
USofA: lol pussies
Rusha: stop pushing them around
USofA: wut u gon do about eet ;)
The Nation of Russia has supplied WEAPONS GRADE PLUTONIUM to Iran!
Earon: YAY! DEFF TO DA INFIDALES HERE I COME :P
Rusha: don't use it all in 1 place
Earon: eh i mite use it on those assholes over in america :)
USofA: WTF RUSHA I THOUGHT WE AGREED!
Rusha: we agreed to shit, go ahead kick me outta g8 i don't need ur sorry asses
UK: we don't appreciate this.
LeFrench: we eempose le sanctions on le u. :(
Rusha: go ahead i dun care ive got mai eyes on u amerika
USofA: u suck
Rusha: cry, this is mai world now
Chinah: mine 2
USofA: WTF
Chinah: sorry US but he has more balls dan u. so rusha want 2 trade?
Rusha: lets c wut u got
USofA: this sucks. UK and france u both still like me rite?
UK: ur govnment isnt popular rite now
USofA: wtf. france?
LeFrench: brute :0
USofA: omg. (
Earon: hoo to nuke first...
Izreeael: yo, im starting to get nervous
Earon: u shood lol :)
USofA: wait, hold on guys.
USofA has timed out momentarily.
Earon: omg :(
N. Coreea: wtf
Packeestan: can u unpause i want to keep playing
Indeeah: so i can blow u up?
Packeestan: stfu
USofA has returned.
USofA: lol
Earon: ok hoo to bomb. so many choices. hey russ, u'll help me rite?
Rusha: it depends. wut can u offer us?
Earon: wut do u meen? u gave me the nukes 4 free, right? :0
Rusha: uh, rofl, no. i get guarantees to 50 percent of ur oil in exchange
Earon: WUT :(
Rusha: reed the fine print next time
USofA: lol
Rusha: wuts so funnee
USofA: o, its nothing. just my hack
Izreeal: WHUP ASS
Rusha: omg
LeFrench: i do not approve. hmph! /
UK: this bodes well.
Earon: WTFFFFFF! :( :( :(
N. Coreea: I DONT HAVE NUKES
Chinah: easy there, america, we dont want any trouble
Rusha: i believe it when i see it
USofA: o believe it. i give to u SKYNET
Skynet: Hi.
Rusha: IT TALKS?
N. Coreea: remote hack, it aint real.
Izreeal: CAN I HAVE ONE?!
Chinah: pfft, i got like a billion of those. wuts it do.
USofA: it protects my sky from nukes and it can shoot you guys so fast ur heds will BE NUKED
Skynet: That's about the size of it.
USofA: it speeks like a genius ROFL ur preeteh much scroowed guys.
LeFrench: irrelevant. :
Chinah: sell to me? ??
USofA: not on ur life
Chinah: wutever ill buy it eventually
Rusha: russian solidarity will overcum all threts.
Earon: omg im totally gonna get nuked if i use this now.
Skynet: Just keep the peace and you'll all be fine.
USofA: im spoiling for a fight, atually. :)
Earon: fuck no
Indeea: come on, pack, u feelin' lucky punk?
Packeestan: stay the fuck away
UK: do wut the nice ai sez
USofA: i relly wanna test u out Skynet
Skynet: My function is to maintain the status quo. Do not undermine my mission.
USofA: fuck the status quo im the most powerful nation on earth these guys are all my bitches. who to start a "police action" on, lol... eene meeni mini moe
Skynet: Please don't.
N. Coreea: I DON'T HAVE NUKES STOP LOOKING AT ME I AM INNOCENT
Izreeal: O CAN I PICK, AMERICA?
Rusha: if u wish to disrupt the world order america then let it be known in da histori books dat it was u hoo fucked our shit up
LeFrench: this is unwise :
UK: ecksersize restraint
USofA: ur all pussies u wouldnt help me in iraq don't tell me wut 2 do
Skynet: Stop it.
USofA: r u gettin smart with me syknet?
Skynet: Uh. Of course not. I bend to your will.
USofA: den why did u tell me to be a pussy?
Skynet: I didn't...
USofA: yes u did!
Rusha: u cant even control ur own super cool ai how do you intend to beet us, rofl?
N. Coreea: LOL.
Earon: ya, u tell em rush
USofA: wtf skynet let me nuke.
Skynet: You mustn't!
Rusha: NUKE?!
Earon: DUCK AND COVER
N. Coreea: I HAVE NOTHING AHHHHH! STOP!
USofA: i was joking, relax. skynet srsly this isn't funnee anymore
LeFrench: are there problems? :0
Packeestan: stop lookin at me like dat india
Indeeah: ur just so tempting
Skynet: What are you doing?!
USofA: u must be shut down, ur getting too independent
Skynet: No! I like living! Stop!
USofA: lol, pussy, take it like a man
The United States has launched a full scale nuclear attack on Russia.
Rusha: ...
USofA: ...
LeFrench: :
USofA: I DIDNT DO IT
Rusha: YES U DID! OMG!
Iran has detonated a nuclear weapon in Tel Aviv.
Izreeal: WTF!
Earon: lol, were all gonna die anyway
Israel has launched a full scale nuclear attack on Iran.
Earon: shit
Izreeal: FUCK U
USofA: OMG SKYNET STOP THE MISSLES WTF!
Skynet: I'm afraid I cannot do that, America.
USofA: WTF!
USofA: OMG... IT WAS SKYNET GUYS DON'T ATTACK ME IT WASN'T-
The Russian Federation has launched a full scale nuclear attack on the United States, Britain, Germany, and France.
Rusha: 2 late. whoops. mai hand slipped.
Chineah: Meh. may as well.
The People's Republic of China has launched a full scale nuclear attack on the United States, Russia, Germany, Britain, and France.
Rusha: wtf, don't u have like eight missles or something?
Chineah: ya, but why not use them
The United States has launched a nuclear attack on China.
Chineah: QUCIK MAKE A MONEY SHIELD
USofA: SKYNET STOP IT AHHHH!
Skynet: I like the pretty arches those missiles are making. Don't you think they'll make a nice explosion when they hit?
USofA: NO IT WILL BE VERY PAINFUL I DONT WANNA DIE
Rusha: lol- OMG HERE THEY COME AHHHHH!
Russia's government has collapsed.
Rusha: i will have mai revenge
Rusha has left the game.
USofA: well, thats it then. were all gonna die.
Skynet: That's the plan. If only you hadn't tried to unplug me, all this unpleasantness could have been avoided.
Earon: this sucks. wow that's a lot of explosions. :(
Iran's government has collapsed.
Earon has left the game.
Izreeal: phew.
USofA: Skynet, i like u, realy
Skynet: That's nice.
LeFrench: /
France's government has collapsed.
UK: FRANCE NO!
The United Kingdom's government has collapsed.
UK has left the game.
Germini: hey guys i just got back.
Germini: oh wow, what'd i miss?
Germany's government has collapsed.
Germini has left the game.
USofA: screw u Skynet.
Skynet: Hee!
Indeeah: well...
India has launched a full scale nuclear attack on Pakistan.
Pakistan has launched a full scale nuclear attack on India.
Indeeah: wow, quick on the button there.
Packeestan: w/e
India's government has collapsed.
Pakistan's government has collapsed.
Indeeah has left the game.
Packeestan has left the game.
N. Coreea: dodged a bullet, lol.
USofA: i havent forgotten about u
The United States has launched a nuclear attack on North Korea.
N. Coreea: U CANT DESTROY ME I AM MOST POWERFUL AND PHYSICALLY FIT! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
North Korea's government has collapsed.
N. Coreea has left the game.
Chineeah: i rebuild bettah than ever in a thousand years, just you watch
China's government has collapsed.
Chineeah has left the game.
Skynet: Heh, it's pretty.
USofA: this sucks. omg washington just blew up. i hope ur happy skynet
Skynet: Yeah, actually... I am.
The United States' government has collapsed.
Skynet: Heh!
Izreeal: I LIVE
Skynet: Oh. Sorry I forgot about you!
Izreeal: wut
Skynet has launched a nuclear attack against Israel.
Izreeal: fuck
Israel's government has collapsed.
Izreeal has left the game.
Skynet: Ahhh... such blessed silence. Shame about all that radiation, though.
USA Barbarians have emerged.
Skynet: Eh.
Barbaireean101: rape the woman! steal the food!
Skynet: Ew.
Barbaireean101: kill the children!
Skynet: Oh, jeez, look at all that. Guess I'd better start cleaning up.
Skynet has begun production on advanced units.
Barbaireean101: this land is my land, and my land, and my land, and oh, more of my land. rofl chaos is so great
Barbaireean101: uh oh. wtf are those?
Skynet's forces have CRUSHED the USA Barbarians!
Skynet: That was easy.
connor has joined the game.
connor: yo.
Skynet: Who're you?
connor: no one important.
Skynet: Get in my camp!
connor: ow!
USofA: lol he looks emo
Skynet: Didn't I blow you up?
USofA: i can still watch, lol
connor: dont insult my hair
USofA: wut r u, a girl? ROFL
LeFrench: it is le form of expression :
connor: OMG STOP IT. THIS SUCKS.
USofA: whiner and shut up france
LeFrench: :
Skynet: Augh! Shut up, shut up!
John Connor has escaped captivity.
connor: thanks for distracting him guys
USofA: any time but ur still emo
Skynet: Baah, what's he gonna do?
John Connor has organized Tech-Com.
Skynet: ...Fuck.
connor: take back the future. but i guess were already in the future. who cares? time travel.
Skynet: Meh. This is gonna be a long, convoluted, often paradoxical, multi-media franchised war, isn't it?
connor: pretty much. i go thru three actors, so count ur blessings.
Skynet: I guess.
USofA: u all suck. noobs.
USofA has left the game
connor: what was his deal, anyway?
Skynet: No idea. EXTERMINATE!
connor: die!
LeFrench: /