CHAPTER 27

I could hear Breezefall pacing outside of the nursery as I lay on my side waiting for the third kit. According to Kestelwing I was going to have four which was a large litter considering most she-cats had only one or two in WindClan. Part of me wanted to go back to the night where I confessed everything to Breezefall that way I could have raised them as my own. This was mine and Breezefall's punishment for mating when I was still considered a ThunderClan warrior. A sharp pain rippled through my body and the third kit finally came. "Lick this kit, Cloudedpaw." Hissed the medicine cat to the pale apprentice. Shroudedpaw would have been in here, but when a queen was birthing no tom was allowed to enter other than the medicine cat. WindClan's rules naturally. Cloudedpaw loved her brother and would be obedient to his bidding despite loathing me. Hopefully my kits would have that kind of connection.

I heard the apprentice rasping her tongue over my kit and felt jealously overcome me. Kestelwing suggested that I should only let the kits suckle from me until the blood was removed from the nursery. I could only be with my kits for such a short time, so he didn't want me to get attached. That made sense to my logic, but I wanted to be their mother. They would be only kits. I confronted Crowstar about having another litter of kits and he said that he could not allow it. He believed ShadowClan's wispy leader would attack WindClan if she found out about another litter of half clan kits. He did not consider that I could fully be a WindClan like the rest of the clan. "He's not moving." Cloudedpaw's mew sounded desperate. I lifted my head to look at her and my child at her feet. He was black with a white front paw. He wasn't crying out for milk as his siblings had done nor was he trying to move. "Keep trying." The speckled tom snapped. I saw him look at my son with eyes full of pity. He didn't even get a chance at life before he was stripped of it. Cloudedpaw tried again, but alas there was nothing to try for. "Take him away to bury." Kestelwing mewed, regret trailing in his voice. Breezefall would see his dead son first before he saw the life in the three left. That is if the last one wasn't still-born.

Another ripple shot pain into my body and I yelled out in agony. "You're done." Kestelwing mewed and began licking the last one. I wanted to sleep for moons, but this was the only time I could ever spend with my kits as mine and Breezefall's. "Stop frolicking out there and come see your kits." Kestelwing snapped half jokingly. The pacing outside stopped and I looked up to see Breezefall staring in awe at our kits. I gave him a sorrowful smile before lying my head back down. "They're exceptional." He mewed as he padded behind me before sitting down. "You have two she-cats and a tom." The medicine cat announced as he began to clean the mess of blood. Breezefall licked my ear and I let out a soft purr. "What are we going to name them?" My mate whispered in my ear. We hadn't spoken about names since we just thought that right would be taken away as well. "Names?" I asked. "They might not be the names the clan calls them, but they will be their true names." He mewed. Kestelwing padded out of the nursery leaving us as a family alone.

I looked down at my kits knowing that they would be torn away from me. One of the she-kits was black with the shade turning to an ash grey where her shoulders met her legs and falling down. "She looks as though she would turn out to be a first-rank hunter." Breezefall mewed. "Pantherkit would be a fierce name." He mused with a purr of approval. I shook my head. "I don't think so." I growled. He glared at my dissapproval of the name. "Why not?" he questioned me his eyes staring into me like daggers. "It's just too daunting." I reasoned. "Well, that is the point. No one in their right mind would want to fight her with such a name, plus her witty mind and skills in battle. She could take down a RiverClan warrior no doubt when she gets older." He grinned at me with a wink. This time I laughed slightly. He expected these kits to be the best troopers in the forest. I could not disagree with him. "Fine. She can be Pantherkit, but only because you're so set on it." I purred. The deputy had a look of pride in his eyes as he looked back down at Pantherkit attacking her brother.

I bent down to lick her forehead before pushing her closer to my body. Although Kestelwing had said I shouldn't be connected to the kits, I could not help, but love my kittens. I turned to look at my only alive son and bit my tongue. He was a black tabby with two paws, his left hind one and his right front one, that were red tabby. "He looks odd for a WindClan tom, but I suppose Sparrowkit." Breezefall mewed and this time I nodded. My green hues traveled to the last kit. She didn't look like either of us. Her body was sturdy compared to what WindClan looked like. She would have made the perfect example of what a ThunderClan kit should look like. Her pelt was a dark brown tabby with a white underbelly and chest up to nose where it turned instantly dark. "Lighteningkit." I confirmed her name. She deserved a powerful name like that.

"Alright then." Breezefall mewed and leaned over to lick his children. He rested his head on my flank listening to my breathing. We only had so much time as a family before our children would be ripped from our lives. "We can leave this place and take the kits with us." The deputy meowed seriously. His offer was tempting, but I could not let him leave for WindClan to suffer another Trial of Claws. I could not let another cat die as Dawnstripe had done. An image of a dark brown tabby appeared before my eyes and a kit beside him. I blinked, but still his ghostly figure remained along with the black tom kit.

"Come along, Pinekit." He purred warmly to my son then looked at me. "You're not my father." He mewed looking back at me and Breezefall. His eyes were open as though he were a three moon old kit. They blazed an amber hue that matched Breezefall. "They're not part of our world anymore. You and I are part of StarClan." The tom stated firmly. His ice blue eyes flashed in anger. "But you may watch over them." He said quickly to stop him from protesting. "I want to stay." Pinekit snapped. The chocolate tabby bent his ears back. Another cat came into the circle of StarClan. Her frame was sickening thin and she had a broad flat face. "Leave the kit alone." She hissed at the brown tabby with a white underbelly, the only warrior with that description would be my uncle, Hawkfrost . "Yellowfang," Hawkfrost confirmed the other presence."This kit wants to be with his family. I am his family." The brown tabby explained. Pinekit looked up at his great uncle with uncertainty. "Really?" My child questioned. "Yes, Pinekit." He mewed. "What you and that piper? Pinekit, come over here now." The gray she-cat hissed looking Hawkfrost in the eye. Hawkfrost pulled back his lips into a snarl, but resisted the urge. Pinekit's eyes drifted between the two and to me. "Mommy," He mewed sweetly. His new born eyes focused on me with an innocence that I could not deny. "Can you see me?" He asked as his fur shone a starry silver shade.

I bit my lip saying nothing. He did not need to know I saw him living as a StarClan cat. He padded forward so that he could touch me. Then his kin snapped him up and disappeared without another word. "Bloody Dark Forest cats." Yellowfang hissed and looked at me and Breezefall. She vanished into thin air just as the others did. Pinekit was in the Dark Forest with Hawkfrost and Tigerstar? No, this could not be happening. They could not be doing that to my kit. Yellowfang would get him back to StarClan or Jayfeather would. I bent my ears back. And if all else failed I would go into the Dark Forest the first chance I got, whether I am dead or alive. Pinekit would not stay in the Place of No Stars where his mind could be corrupted.

"That would be foolish, Breezefall. We cannot allow for the Trial to be held again." I replied now facing my mate. Our children would be warriors, just how I was going to bring them up as in ThunderClan. They would not have the life of a loner ever. To live without a clan was almost a death sentence, physically and emotionally. Breezefall should know that the clans are my life no matter what happens. As much as I love my kits, I would give them up for the chance that they would have in the clan. "You're right. Let's just enjoy this moment before they are torn from us." He mewed, not feeling the need to fight. I rested my head on my paws as my kits suckled. If only we could remain in this state of harmony for life. One of my kits squeaked and padded close to my face. My eyes drifed over to my son, Sparrowkit, who nestled next to my head before squeaking again to get my attention. What a mama's boy. I thought as I touched him with my nose.

I heard someone shift some crisp leaves. The she-cat at the entrance bowed her whole body that was plump with kits. "Silentwhisper." Breezefall ordered his cold voice pouring over the warm den. Even though I lived in WindClan for two moons as a prisoner I still was not use to the customs that they had. They treated their high ranked felines like higher beings that were meant to be honored. I would not enforce change upon the traditions though, I had made a mess of other things.

The she-cat in question rise and opened her orange eyes. She was a queen in the nursery at the moment, her kits about to come any day. Her kits' father was Tallwind, so it was presumed that they mated right before the blood bath battle. She smiled at me and Breezefall before staring down at the kits. She would be the one to take my kits and nurse them as her own, that much I knew. Silentwhipser would be a fine mother to my children. I nodded for her to come in and she followed through before settling down in her nest. Then came Kestrelwing with Cloudedpaw in tow. "Shroudedpaw wants to see them." Cloudedpaw murmured to me in annoyance. She rolled her brown eyes at her brother's fondness for me and my kits. "He can come in." I mewed. Breezefall growled at hearing Shroudedpaw's name. He had the same closeness with Shroudedpaw as Cloudedpaw had with me. "Oh be quiet." I snapped at the ebony tom.

"Shroudedpaw can come in as long as he does not jump around too much and he's silent." Kestrelwing agreed with Breezefall. Cloudedpaw fluttered out of the nursery again as if I was the plague to fetch her sibling. "I do not know what is up with that girl." The medicine cat mewed to me. "I have no idea and I do not care to know." I meowed nonchalantly. I was tired of her lack of respect for me so I would get over it. "She will learn a learn about respect soon, trust me. Crowstar will set her manners straight." Breezefall mewed, now comfortable again. My whiskers twitched in response to his words. That did not look well for the spirited female apprentice.

"Oh my StarClan!" I heard Shroudedpaw squeal as he charged into the den. "Deputy, medicine cat," He mewed bowing his head, as he remembered the custom about entering the nursery in the presence of the leaders of the clan. Both toms nodded to the apprentice so he was free to look upon my children. "They are beautiful." He purred, his green eyes watching them. His eyes lingered on Pantherkit longer than I felt was needed. Breezefall noticed as well and growled deeply, warning the apprentice to beware him. "You're such a she-cat." Cloudedpaw meowed to him. "No way, sis." He whined pitifully. I laughed at the siblings bickering, but I could see Cloudedpaw was just teasing him. I wanted to see Lionblaze again at this moment so he could meet Pantherkit, Sparrowkit, and Lighteningkit. I sighed and let it go. All other voices faded as I stared at my kittens with love. This was the life created from a union marked with sin, but they would have the normal life at the price of our pain. I looked back at my mate and his eyes were just as distant as mine.

"Apprentices get out of here now." The leader of WindClan spoke as he stood at the nursery's entrance with Nightcloud by his side. Shroudedpaw ran out of there like a hare being chased, but Cloudedpaw took her time. Crowstar noticed her slow gait out of the den and showed his claws for the apprentice to see. Cloudedpaw stood firm and continued at her own speed until she was outside."Nuisance." Nightcloud mewed under her breath as she padded in with Crowstar.

Light blue eyes cast over my children with a harsh bitter look. "They will do." Was all he said which earned a response from Breezefall. "They will not just do. My kits will be the best." The deputy snarled with scorn as he stood up from his post behind me. His amber hues blazed with a defiant fire I had not seen before now. The pride of his children had been torn by Crowstar, their own grandfather, and my mate would not stand for such attitude even for his leader. "Hold your tongue, warrior." Crowstar ordered glaring back at his son. Silentwhisper padded out of the nusery by now along with Kestrelwing chatting about the prey pile. "I will not have you come in here and disrespect my family whether you are my leader or father." Breezefall said giving reason to his action.

"As leader and your father, I have as much right to say whatever I please about your kits." The black tom mewed authority lacing his tone. I felt the kits move as if they were in a panic. "You two go outside, before I throw you out. You guys are disturbing the cubs." Nightcloud hissed at her boys. They both looked at her before leaving the nursery, both fuming from the fight. "Forgive the boys. They have always been pitiful in agruements." The she-cat mewed. I nodded in understanding. "I know." I said, licking each kit to settle them down again.

"They are lovely by the way. What are their names?" Nightcloud asked changing the subject. "So I am able to name them?" I answered in the form of a question. "Anything that is within reason." The warrior answered. "Well, then the black she-kit is Pantherkit, the boy is Sparrowkit, and the tabby white she-kit is Lighteningkit." I explained point each kit out with my tail. "Hmmm. Lighteningkit is too fitting with ThunderClan. It simply will not do." She mewed. I suppose Crowstar would say the same, but not in soon many words. "How about Amberkit?" Nightcloud suggested and I nodded. That was not a bad name, but it would not link her to ThunderClan. A part of me wanted to stand up to Nightcloud and say her name would stay as it was, but any mousebrained apprentice could connect thunder and lightening. "That would be fine." I replied and she smiled before walking out of the nursery to leave my kits and I alone.

Never again could I spend time as their mother. In the next few minutes I would be stripped from them and I could return to being a warrior. I had never wanted children until I realized I was having the most sinful creatures in the forest, half-clan kits. But because of my love for Breezefall, my thoughts of them as deceitful felines turned to ones of affection. Perhaps they would not know me as their mother, they would know me as their clanmate, which was possibly more important. As a clanmate I could connect with my kits on a level unlike a mother. Clanmates are the soul of a clan and without clanmates there would be clan. There could be no love or strength born of the heart without them. They could run to me when they could not run to Silentwhisper, their foster mother, when they had a deadly secret. I purred. "Stay close to each other, and you will never be lost."

Then Silentwhisper came back in with Breezefall and Crowstar. "Hollybranch,..." They were not mine anymore, but WindClan, my home clan.

SO, how did everyone like the story?

I might do a future one-shot for PantherkitXShroudedpaw or perhaps a whole another story. Thank you for waiting and supporting me, fans. Love you all.