A/N: Okay, the people who actually reviewed the chapter want to see Emmett get in trouble, I will continue it.
Ps, The song is called The Difference between Martyrdom and Suicide is Press. By PATD.
Edward POV
We walked in and instantly noticed that something was wrong. There was a faint smell of beer under our noses. It was covered up by the very strong smell of Alice's vanilla perfume, which only made her angry at the fact that Emmett would be the only one stupid enough to use that stuff. Alice could be menacing when she wanted to.
"Emmett, me and Alice are home early! Where's Bella?" Alice rolled her eyes at my not-so-subtle question. I tried to locate his mind and came up with this:
Hi,
Barbie!
Hi, Ken!
You wanna go for a ride?
Sure, Ken!
Jump in!
Chorus:
I'm a Barbie girl in a Barbie world
Life in plastic, it's
fantastic
you can brush my hair, undress me everywhere
Imagination, life is your creation….
I tuned out before it got any farther than that. He was trying to hide something. And he only sang Barbie girl when it was something big. Don't ask me why, he just does. I found Jasper's 'voice' in my bedroom. He was listening to my CD's.
I went upstairs, ready to yell at him, and almost had a firm grip on him, when he thought, Wait! You don't have time to kill me! Emmett did something even worse! Go to his room. I let go of him and went swiftly to Emmett's room. What I saw really was worse.
Jasper POV
I really did not want to rat Emmett out, but he was ready to kill me! You saw it right? Er, well, not really saw. Emmett was going to get a mouthful. I was probably going to get beat up by him, once he found out that I ratted him out to Edward.
Emmett POV
This was not part of my plan! Edward was not supposed to come! Then I remembered that he has a freaky mind power thing where he can read minds. I launched into Barbie Girl once I realized that he was probably reading my mind right now.
I was glad I had covered the scent of beer with one of Alice's perfume. I would probably get shit for it, but it was the only thing at hand.
I was frantically thinking of places to put Bella while I sang an encore of Barbie Girl. In the closet wouldn't work. And neither would under the covers. Maybe behind the Plasma? Oh! The bed! I could put her under the bed! She would easily fit.
Just as I was putting my plan in action, there goes Edward ruining it.
"What are you doing to my girlfriend!?" He had a look of pure rage, so I decided not to push my luck.
"Uh, she was looking for something under the bed and fainted?" He didn't believe my totally believable lie. She IS Bella.
"Sure she was. So does that explain the smell of alcohol on her breath?" Shoot, I forgot that.
"She, uh, drank mouthwash?" Okay, that lie sucked.
"Give me my girlfriend." He put his hands out for Bella, and I handed her over. Right on time, when she landed in Edward's arms, she woke up. Perfect timing.
"Where am I? Why do I feel so dizzy? Edward? Emmett?" So many questions. It made my brain hurt.
"Emmett that would be your cue." Edward looked funny to me. He was trying not to scare Bella, but still trying to look menacing to me. Alice came storming through the door.
"Emmett! Why is my most expensive bottle of perfume half empty!?" I had to hand it to her; I never knew she had that pitch of a voice.
She looked so scary; I literally cringed from the thought that she was wearing stilettos, which hurt badly. Along with her vampire strength, she was horrible.
"Well, IgotBelladrunkandshesungasongandfaintedandIusedyourperfumetocoverupthesmell." They both pounced on me after setting Bella in the living room to watch something loud.
I am pretty sure my arm will come back.
A/n: Emmett is crazy, right? Sorry for ripping his arm out, but it had to end somehow. Jasper was there the whole time and managed not to get killed. Yay for him! Please review and I'll give you an Edward Cullen ice cream cone. Complete with fake fangs!
DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN THESE CHARACTERS! STEPHENIE MEYER DOES. I DON'T OWN THE ALPHABET, EITHER.