Disclaimer (That I've neglected to mention so far): I Do Not Own Fullmetal Alchemist. If I did, then it would probably turn out like this crappy fic XD

In a world where i update my stories...

"Psh!" Edward scoffed. "Like there's any place for that."

There lies a change that could effect the FMA universe forever (Ok, not really)

The group huddled together in fear. Above them, the nonexistent clouds rumbled. Blood fell down as rain, washing down the streets, drowning everyone as they went past. The sky became darker than midnight, and the moon crashed down to earth. The dead got up from their graves and walked freely on human soil. Guns shot in all directions. Fire sprang up in all the buildings. The apocolypse came forth on the country of Amestris.

Haha! Just kidding.

POOF! Everything was better and nothing happened. There was one of those awkward pauses.

"Ok," Mustang said. "That was weird." Suddenly, a letter fell down from the sky and managed to slap the colonel in the face. Don't ask, I don't know.

Dear Roy, if you think that was bizarre, just wait for the events that will take place later on! MWAHAHAHAHAHA! PS: My brother says to give him back his girlfriend.

Sincerely, That Little Voice In Your Head

Everyone peered over the colonel's head to read the letter.

"Does the little voice in your head normally send you letters like this, colonel?" Hawkeye questioned.

"Not normally..." he responded. "And what does it mean? How does it know if even stranger things will happen later on?"

Just then, another letter fell from the sky.

Dear Roy, Because I said so.

Sincerely, That Little Voice in Your Head

The Flame Alchemist twitched. "Show yourself, you coward!" As if in response, lightning flashed and struck the ground just several feet from where Mustang was standing. He jumped to the side in shock. A voice from the clouds boomed.

"I have no physical being for your world. " It spoke. It's voice was female, and young sounding. Maybe in it's early teens. "I speak from another place. One close, but yet so far from this universe."

"How is that possible?" Edward yelled out, speaking to the sky. "Where exactly are you?"

"I am on the border between your world and the world beyond. You people might call it 'The Gate'. But from where I come from, we call it 'The Fourth Wall'".

"'The Fourth Wall'?" The many questioned in unison.

"The Gate?" The Elric brothers cried simultaneously. "Does that mean you're the truth?"

"Hell no!" The voice cackled. "I'm what the people beyond call 'The Author'! I control everything that happens where you are."

The group was shocked.

"Impossible!" Hughes called upward, dubiously. "There's no way-"

Roy Mustang gets soaked by a tiny rain cloud.

FLOOSH! Water flows down on the Colonel, dripping from his ebony locks, and carelessly falling down his severely ticked face. It soaks his gloves, his uniform, and just him in general, rendering the Flame Alchemist useless. Above him, a tiny storm cloud grmbled,

"Ok, I'm convinced!" Hughes proclaimed. "But what are you doing here now? Why have you decided to finally make an appearance at this time?"

"It's simple, Lieutenant Colonel Hughes." The voice responded boredly. "To let my readers know that my hiatus (A/N: Never formally told, but I haven't updated in a year, so...) is over! 101 Ways To Bug the Colonel is back!"

"No..." the still drenched Mustang murmured in horror. "You mean that 'IT' will continue? They will go back to tormenting and embarrassing me in every way possible again?"

"Yes."

"WHY?"

"Because that's how humans are. They enjoy getting twisted entertainment out of someone else's misery. I believe the correct term is 'schadenfruede' (A/N: yes, we are sick, we humans XD)."

There was no response this time. Everyone realised that what this strange entity was saying was true. The Human race is most definetly cruel.

"Ah, so you've found wisdom in my words. Then I guess my job here is done. Farewell, dear Amestrians. Shall we meet again soon."

A flash in the sky signaled that the voice, or, The Author, was gone.

"So," Fuery started, "is that it?"

Roy Mustang is randomly Pimp-Smacked by a complete stranger.

SLAP! Mustang cursed as the figure ran away. The group sweat-dropped. Things were going back to the evil way they were. Finally. They had been bored, ayway.

Yes! I'm back! Things are going to be different, and probably more random from here on. You can probably tell from this chapter, since it's longer in comparison to the others. You know, I started this story when I was 11 years old. Now, 2 years later, I'm older, and probably not much wiser. in fact, I think I lost more brain cells. Anyways, 101 Ways to Bug the Colonel is back in business! Leave a request and I might consider doing it, accounting on the quality of the request. Thanks for staying with me, my fans! Arigatou and Sayonara!

Review~!