Summary: Goku's got a problem that he needs help resolving.

Warning: Spoilers for those of you who haven't watched/read much.

Disclaimer: I own nothing, I just borrow.

Goku POV

I've got a problem and I really need some help, but I guess to get good advice I need to explain things from the beginning.

First off, everyone thinks I'm a complete moron, but I'm not. I let them think that. Yeah, I still fight with Gojyo, eat tons like a wild animal, and say stupid things, but I do that on purpose. This journey can be a real downer and the guys need someone to lighten the mood. I mean really, youkai try to kill us every day and most nights. Wouldn't you be depressed?

So, on top of not being as stupid as they think, I'm also a lot more perceptive than they realize. Of course, I see the façade they put up, but I also see the truth underneath. Gojyo goes to bars, gets drunk, and womanizes because of his issues with his mother. In truth, he doesn't like any of those women. He's in love with Hakkai. Hakkai smiles all the time because his past still hurts so badly that if he didn't smile he wouldn't be able to stop crying. He doesn't believe he deserves Gojyo because of his past crimes, but he's starting a new life and coming to accept that maybe he can be forgiven. I think they are truly happy together. The only reason I can find for them to still be "in the closet" is Sanzo. He is an enigma all on his own. Of course, he knows about Hakkai and Gojyo, but his inability to handle personal relationships and commitments, well, fucks everything up. That jackass needs to come out of his damn shell. I mean, yeah, we've all got baggage. You're not unique with your murdered mentor and fucked up childhood. Gojyo's mother used to beat him and tried to kill him. He's only alive today because his brother saved his life by killing his mother. Hakkai murdered so many youkai he became one, and became horribly traumatized when his girlfriend/fiancé/wife (I still not quite sure which) committed suicide in front of him, with his knife, because she was raped and impregnated by a youkai. And, I can't remember anything before being imprisoned in a mountain. Which, from the whispers I've heard, was for about 500 years. What the fuck was up with that?

Sorry, I've digressed. I have a little trouble staying on track when I get really worked up. Where was I? Oh yes, Sanzo and his inability to accept that Hakkai and Gojyo are together. Well, maybe he's in the closet too. Personally, I don't think he even realizes he's in the closet. He's so fucking far in the closet that it would be easier to get him out of a black hole. Which brings me to my problem. I've seen his glances in my direction. I'm all for jumping into bed with him. Gods know that's been on my mind long enough, but I'm afraid being direct will scare him off. He's got no clue that he's been looking. He can't even deal with Hakkai and Gojyo and that doesn't even involve him. There's no way direct will work. It will have to be slow and subtle.

I considered giving him a pair of handcuffs. I'd say something like, "They're for when I've been bad. That way you can lock me up and do whatever you want to me. You won't have to chase me with your fan. You'll be able to hit me wherever you want: head, back, …bottom." I would love to say that to Sanzo, but I don't think it would go well. He would hit me with the fan, and unfortunately, it would probably be in the head. That's probably not subtle enough either. Gojyo wouldn't be able to stop laughing if I said something like that, and I doubt Hakkai could keep his smile he'd be so shocked.

I just don't know what to do. I'm worried I'll never figure out the right way to approach Sanzo, and I'm starting to get really frustrated. You know, that kind of frustrated, and it doesn't help when I try to take care of it myself.

Please, PLEASE, PLEASE help me. What should I do?

So, I could just let this chapter stand on its own, but poor Goku! I have no ideas for how to resolve Goku's problem. If you want another chapter, I need suggestions. Otherwise, this is it. (If I don't get any good ideas in about two weeks, I'm changing the status to complete.)