"Anything that happens, happens.

Anything that, in happening, causes something else to happen, causes something else to happen.

Anything that, in happening, causes itself to happen again, happens again.

It doesn't necessarily do it in chronological order, though."-Douglas Adams

This story is to be a card master Naruto setting. The basic idea will draw greatly from Yugioh or other CC games, the concept of having cards that can be used to produce attacks and monsters but it is my hope to include very little or no influence from the Yugioh show itself. No pharaoh showing up to bestow Naruto with power, no finding of a millennium item etc. Just Naruto cobbling together some chakra powered cards to pull of ninja effects through complex research of summoning, seals and what not. If there ends up being any direct Yugioh influence later in this story it most likely end up being the girls or female monsters, if for no other reason because they are hot and I am always a sucker for making the main character getting some hot girls in the end.

-Vilkath

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, Yugioh or any the card games I might draw idea's from, their characters or anything of the sort. I've read a lot of fan fics, books, played games etc over the years. As such I expect some idea's to be inspired by other sources, so in advance let me say I don't own those either.

I will admit aspects of the beginning of this story will seem familiar to other training manual stories like The Clueless ninja, it isn't intentional but I contribute it to the fact Konoha is one village and really you can only train in the basic skills in so many ways. No he won't be learning DBZ moves or anything the like, but will more then likely start to fight bandits and such.

'Italics' Thoughts

"Text" Speech

Death Dealer

It was the fifth year anniversary of the Kyuubi defeat and the festival marking this day of loss and hope was in full swing in the village of Konoha. As usual on this day a whisker blond boy named Naruto was running to get to the safety of his apartment before the darkening skies and flowing alcohol brings out the crueler emotions of the villagers.

As the boy was ran for home a secluded training ground on the opposite side of town lit up with a flash light as a strangely silent bolt of lightening struck the ground leaving a man standing in it's wake. The arrival was dressed in a non-descript gray pants and long sleeved shirt the look was completed with the gray cloak that hung over his shoulders. His face held a pair of startling blue eyes framed by graying hair that only had the barest amount of blond streaks left in it. All those features would be lost on most viewers in this village in favor of the six distinct whisker marks on each of the mans cheeks.

With a brief glance at his surroundings to see if any one noticed his arrival the man's hands made cross like sign and with a quite mumble copies of the man beyond number filled up the area. Lowering his arms the original man turned to face the rest. "You know what to do, build the lab beneath the 4th's head and make copies of everything. Do not forget to only use materials from this time as everything we brought will vanish along with us!"

With a quick sound of acknowledgement the mass of clones vanished into the growing shadows of the night to do their task. After making sure his orders were being carried out and none the clones were slacking off the original man started a slow walk towards the apartment of one Uzumaki Naruto. With casual ease the man was a mere flickering shadow among the festivalgoers as a life of training showed itself even in his distracted state he could avoid being seen as easily as breathing.

Arriving at his chosen destination the man stops outside the door and held out a hand to catch book one of his passing clones dropped off. Securing the book under one arm the man entered the apartment by passing all the alarms and traps without blinking an eye. Glancing around the run down dump of an apartment the man had to suppress a sigh from escaping from his lips at the sight of the place but considering all the upkeep was being managed by a five year old boy he couldn't complain.

Without so much as a hand gesture this time the man created a much smaller group of clones. "You guys make this place livable as you can, but remember to leave it looking run down to avoid suspicion. That means fixing things like the broken door, security seals and the drafty walls but no new paint, polish or rugs. We don't want to draw attention to Naruto by giving the apartment an over night miracle make over." Leaving the clones to their work the man looked to the apartments owner, fast asleep still hiding underneath his bed was one Uzumaki Naruto.

Taking the slim book he just received outside the apartment the man gazed fondly at it for a moment lost in a rush of pleasant memories. With a stiffening of his posture the man came back to reality bent down carefully and placed the book in a sleeping Naruto's hands. "Show the world what you can do Naruto." As those final words still hung in the air the man slowly begun to vanish like smoke in the wind, mission complete the man could only smile.

--

The morning after his fifth birthday Naruto Uzumaki awoke safely in his apartment, instead of the usual hospital the first sign of changes to come in Naruto's life. With a smile on his face from out running the angry mobs this year Naruto almost failed to notice the slim hard covered book in his hands. Startled and almost dropping the book Naruto looked at it suspiciously, he knew he did not go to sleep reading a book which meant some one came in while he was sleeping and put it there. Examining the cover however dispelled any concerns as he read the words "Namikaze's Guide to being a kick ass ninja."

Naruto had a quick and analytical mind for a five year old, but he was still a kid so it was no surprise he came to the only obvious solution of who would give him a training manual for his birthday, Old man Hokage. It was obvious to the boy that the super secret delivery method only backed up the idea that a super strong ninja gave it to him, plus the old man had turned down training him when Naruto asked always saying that the council wouldn't let him. Naruto just figured this was the man's way of being sneaky about it, so to keep with the old mans plan Naruto promised himself to always deny where it came from and say he found it in the trash.

Eager to prove himself now that he finally was able to learn from something that could not ignore or mislead him Naruto dove into the first chapter.

Chapter One

'The start of any good ninja's career begins with a combination of physical fitness, chakra capacity and chakra control. While there are tons of cool techniques, awesome fighting styles and exotic weapons out there, they all depend on the user's condition and are less effective or even useless if the user is to weak or frail. To many ninja only care about the next flashy move, what good is spewing a fire dragon from your mouth if you exhaust yourself after performing it once?'

Naruto suppressed a blush at the opening paragraph; it was almost like the author was talking directly to him! He had always loved the loud and flashy moves, begging his teachers and even the Hokage to give him just one cool move. Eyes shining with an even greater determination to prove him self now Naruto begins to read the rest of the chapters details on what to do.

The schedule did not seem to difficult at first, the book seemed to have a target audience young of children without a clan, with a goal of making it's readers solid academy level ninja. The physical training seemed to include running, swimming, climbing, push ups, pull ups and what ever other physical exercise the reader could think of to increase their endurance. Chakra control at this stage seemed to simply try to manifest an aura into the visible spectrum, and holding it long as possible with a goal of being able to maintain the effect while splitting your concentration on other task like the physical exercises. All of which worked a person towards getting in touch with their chakra and building it up through frequent use.

Eager to get started Naruto did the only thing he could do in his apartment and that was attempt to manifest his chakra. After minutes of concentration and a rather humorous frustrated look on his face that made him look constipated Naruto could only manage the briefest flicker of chakra, disappointed but hopeful Naruto kept at it. Unknown to Naruto his progress was beyond extraordinary, academy students twice his age would have trouble manifesting their chakra without the helping hand seal that most reflected their nature, which Naruto had no idea about yet since seals were explained much later in the book This was an intentional oversight by the author, helping it's readers to get in touch with their chakra without the crutch of hand seals provides much better control for them later in life, of course the author could not even hope any one to have such immediate success but Naruto Uzumaki is anything but normal. With enough chakra to make some chunin jealous even at the age of 5 it would be nearly impossible for him to fail, the chaotic and conflicting nature of his unknown tenant's chakra was really was the only thing holding him back from bursting with power and probably scaring nearby ninja with the sight of a glowing Kyuubi container.

As the weeks passed Naruto's condition improved, he could already run seven laps around the village outside walls at a near sprint and could already hold a small aura of chakra for full ten minutes while walking around so far. True he could not get the stuff to do anything useful yet but considering the ninja academy students did not even cover practical chakra application till the second year Naruto felt happy with what he could do already. The hardest part of his training was hiding it from the many watchful eyes that seemed to follow him; to this end he did his best to disguise any out door training with common events of his daily life. Daily runs were covered up with him being chased by angry mobs, swimming was always approached as if he was bathing and anything he could not pretend was something else he would do behind closed doors in his apartment or deep in the forest. While Naruto would not fool himself into thinking he was able to trick any of the ninjas with his little act, it did at least keep the civilians from grabbing pitch forks and beating him to a pulp, no way would they accept their favorite punching bag getting into shape and learning to fight back.

Not all was well however for Naruto by the third week of training he started to have trouble following the books instructions. No matter what he did or what store he went to Naruto could not get any the shops to sell him the suggested selection of foods for the diet recommended in the book nor was he able to acquire ninja gear like kunai or shuriken to practice with. Not wanting to give up already and unable to ask the Hokage for help since it might blow the secret of the gift he got Naruto pushed on to the next chapter hoping it could help with his current problem.

Chapter Two

'Stealth and deception are two of the most vital skills needed to be a successful ninja. They are also one the major abilities that separates a ninja from other forms of hired muscle, anyone can kill but only a good ninja can kill so swiftly and silently their enemies will die with a surprised expression on their face. Stealth is the art of not being seen, while misdirection is the ability of hiding something in plain sight. Both have their uses and neither should be ignored by a true ninja'

Naruto was again amazed at how insightful this book was, and slightly confused of how he remembers seeing some adult ninja's of this village act. 'How could wearing green spandex and shouting about the flames of youth be stealthy?' Clearing such confusing thoughts from his mind and focusing on reading over the various training methods for the new chapter Naruto could barely contain his grin. As much as he wanted to get some payback against the mean shopkeepers right away by stealing from them Naruto realized the penalty for any one being caught would be severe, and if the way they treated him trying to buy stuff was any indication his punishment would be much worse then any other people's would be. Choosing the safest exercise for him to do for now Naruto reread the entry on hunting.

'Many animals have senses superior to that of humans, in some cases even greater then that of an elite ninja which lead to the use of things like ninja dogs used to help track and capture people. To this end it has been found to be great stealth training to be able to approach a wild animal in its natural habitat, let alone kill the animal. Merely to be able to approach an animal like a rabbit shows a great deal of skill, however the actual act of killing is vital to achieve the full potential of this exercise. Every living creature has a natural sixth sense that can alert them to danger and most animals are very in tune with this ability naturally from the kill or be killed world of the wild. The final goal of this exercise is not to only approach an animal close enough to strike it with a hand held weapon but to suppress your own killing intent when striking the final blow. Attaining such ability will help take away an enemies early warning system for danger that both animals and high ranked ninja depend on.'

--

Hunting, Naruto decided was harder then it sounded. It took him almost a full week to even get within throwing distance of a deer hampered as he was with his orange jump suite. While Naruto always felt orange was an awesome color, it was not exactly a common color in the forest setting and it let the animals detect his presence a mile away. To compound his clothing troubles the only weapons Naruto could get his hands on were dull, dented and rusty leftovers that he scavenged at night from some of the training grounds. This lead to even some of his most successful approaches to fail when the thrown kunai flew crooked or failed to even penetrate the animal's flesh.

Still he was not one to give up a task once it begun and he was determined to kill a deer if he had to beat it to death with his bare hands. After another fanatically driven week of training passed without much improvement Naruto was getting hungry for some real food. Now that he knew his all ramen diet was bad for him he could not enjoy it as much and was frustrated at being unable to improve it. Another failed hunting attempt led Naruto to noticing some berries, approaching them cautiously he couldn't help but notice they looked good. Figuring if the deer he always found here could eat them then they should be okay Naruto gave them a try. Unfortunately the berries left Naruto sic on the forest floor, exploding bodily waste from both ends of his body as his stomach fought off the mild case of food poisoning he inflicted himself with. His luck continued as the bushes Naruto happened to roll into while moaning in misery gave him such a horrid rash and itched like nothing he had felt before. That day Naruto promised himself the next book he was going to buy would be a wilderness plant guide.

When Naruto finally killed his first animal with a crude sharpened stick turned spear he was filled with happiness at his success but at the same time feeling a little sick with how gruesome the whole act was. The animal's death throws seemed to drag on and on to Naruto as it's blood flowed out of it's body and soaked into the forest floor. Confusion joined the mix of feelings raging through Naruto's mind as he was left to try and figure out how to turn a dead animal into food, knowing nothing of skinning or preparing meat, heck the poor boy never even handled precut meat from a butcher before let alone anything that still looked like an animal. Riding on the emotional rush of his success Naruto did the best he could, he wasted a lot of meat in the butchering process but it would improve with practice and time that each future kill would bring. Naruto mentally added this new survival skill to the list of things he would need to perfect before moving on to the next chapter, plus as long as he still got sick from killing an animal he was not ready to do the killing required by the ninja profession. Confident enough with his success so far and unable to improve much till the supply problem was fixed Naruto moved onto the second part of the current chapter.

'Misdirection other wise known as the ability to hide information, people, or even objects in plain sight is the opposite but complimentary discipline to stealth. In this field a ninja will strive to remain unnoticed, over being invisible entirely. This is achieved by both blending in with your surroundings and directing the observers attention elsewhere. An observer's eye will naturally be drawn to the unique, things like a man with a red shirt in a sea of white shirts would stand out. Just as a person running down a street would draw attention if every one else were walking. The ultimate aspect of this art for a ninja is the slight of hand trick, getting an enemy to focus on one thing while you do another. The usefulness of this ability ranges from lifting secret information from an enemy all the way to surprise attacks from the front even while talking to them.'

While greatly impressed with the art of misdirection and the applications already mentioned in the book, to Naruto this technique meant a real chance at food and supplies. Sure he would be doing something illegal, but to Naruto it did not really mean that much. With his neglected upbringing the boy really never had a firm grasp of right and wrong and was unburdened by most the morals of society. With the way the adults yelled at Naruto for anything he might do and even some things he didn't made him apathetic towards their rules when out of their sight. Having no stable authority figure and being punished for following the adult's rules just as much as breaking them made Naruto rely more on his basic instincts, like an animal in a hostile environment he just tried to survive. To Naruto theft was merely another matter of survival, he needed those things, and they had them but wouldn't sell them to Naruto so he would just take them.

Of course the various exercises listed to increase hand eye coordination, dexterity and other attributes important to his shoplifting goals proved difficult. Naruto knew he required to be as perfect as possible in this new skill before he could attempt anything, another boy might be able to walk into a shop and browse around unmolested but not the demon brat of Konoha. Naruto had to be quick and undetected by both the shopkeepers and any other customers who would not doubt be glaring at him the entire time just waiting to build up enough anger before forcing him to buy something at an ever-increasing price before deciding to simply throw him out of the store.

The first thing the book told Naruto to train was his eyes. The author pointed out how an observer's first clue to what you are doing is by following your line of sight. If you glance at your target or your hand any time during the theft those watching you will be automatically drawn to the focus of your attention as well. Simple as the task may sound it took Naruto several days to get proficient at casually picking things up while not looking. The book had also mentioned how a person will often focus their attention on his right hand first if it is in motion, being a reflection of their own dominate hand they will expect it to be the focus of your attention as well. Combined with the ability to use the left hand without looking it can greatly improve Naruto's ability to steal successfully.

Seeing how the author seemed to be rather vague on training exercises this time Naruto was forced to come up with some of his own. Not having much to work with and having to hide his training from prying eyes inside his apartment Naruto started his agility training with a pack of cards, first shuffling, dealing and otherwise handling the cards as best he could. A rather impressive feat in itself with his child sized hands and as Naruto grew more and more proficient he would try the same task blind folded and then work up to handling the cards while trying to casually look around the room.

Time passed and Naruto's skill continued to grow with cards while continuing his hunting and physical exercise never giving up any of his prevoius training while working on new skills which was making Naruto one the busiest five year olds in the village. When the time came that Naruto felt he had got all the skill he could from handling cards he moved onto some other mundane activities and repeated the process of blindfolds and casual wandering eyes until he could do almost any mundane task like walking through his apartment or cooking dinner without direct focus on the task itself

Naruto started to became more confident in his abilities as he practiced; he reached the point where he figured he could pocket almost anything without a civilian noticing under normal circumstances. However Naruto lived in a hidden village, a place teeming with ninja of all rank. While he might be able to fool some the denser genin Naruto had no illusions of his skill against the higher ranked ninja. The fact people seemed to hate him and would always glare at Naruto as if he was the worst kind of criminal and were just waiting to catch him causing trouble did not help his chances either.

He knew self taught skills from a book could only get him so far though, Naruto did not think he could get that much better without any real practice. To get around this problem Naruto needed help, he needed a distraction one big enough so the villagers would even stop watching him the demon brat and he knew just the cat for the job.

--

Tora and all her feline ancestors have been the Fire Lords cat for several generations and every single one of them named Tora has also been a plague to Konoha genin teams for generations as each new generation of Tora is just as mean spirited and feisty as the last. Retrieving the run away cats of this family has always been the least desirable D ranked mission in fire country. Any normal cat that caused this much trouble time after time would simply of had some kind of accident brought on by an irate genin that lost their temper with the feline. Fortunately for Tora she was a well-established tradition and symbol for the Fire Lords family and the Fire Lord's wife favorite pet. It would be suicide for any ninja to piss off the man even the Hokage had to answer to.

Naruto not even being an academy student at the time knew none of Tora's family history, he did however spend a lot of time in the woods hunting and training running across the strange cat numerous of times as it avoided it's irate genin pursuers. Tora avoided Naruto at first thinking he was there to catch her like all the other humans, but as time passed and the boy continued to ignore her it wasn't long before Tora came to Naruto to investigate. Cats love attention and will do strange things to gain it if they are feeling ignored, Tora being one the most sought after and infamous cats in fire country was not used to being dismissed in such a manner and in very feline manner let her anger show by stalking Naruto. Every place Naruto went Tora would follow, if he sat down she would jump into his lap, if he started to read she would sit on his book. It wasn't long till the two infamous demons of Konoha became fast friends and started to team up for some fun with Naruto making a game of finding better and better places for Tora to hide from her pursuers.

Finding Tora in her usual spot of out in the forest running from a fresh genin team Naruto quickly picked up the cat and set off to start his grand caper. The plan was simple, let the cat into the store by a rear window and let the chaos begin inside. While Tora was being her usual friendly self to those within Naruto would use the distraction to enter the store quickly and grab all he could in the limited amount of time. He would have to try and pick carefully, deciding to go after longer lasting items like books, kunai and other small items in the ninja supply store. While better food would be helpful for the immediate future he couldn't waste a possible once in a lifetime distraction this big on something as temporary as fruits or vegetables. With any hope he might be able to grab a book on basic seals so he could start using storage scrolls like the real ninja do. Not only allowing him to steal things larger then he could hide in his pockets but also help prevent his food from rotting since his apartments electricity often goes off and prevents his fridge from working reliably.

As the panicked shouts of both the shopkeeper and customers started to fill the air a thoroughly muddy Naruto quickly entered the store and begun stuffing his pockets while pretending to watch and avoid the commotion. The mud was one the brilliant final touches Naruto put into his plan. Recognizing his orange clothes and blond hair stood out to much Naruto getting himself covered in mud to dull the colors down was the only real solution he could think of. He had no other clothes to wear yet and even if he did if the Demon Brat was recognized in something nicer then his normal clothes it would be a disaster. Mud however was perfect, it turned both his clothes and his hair a darker color and if recognized despite his disguise the villagers would just smirk in glee at seeing the demon brat in such filth.

Moving quickly as possible without drawing attention to himself once he was inside the shop Naruto started to make a complete circuit around the place, setting up a few accidents of falling boxes and other distractions that would go off any time Tora was almost caught to early. By the time Tora was finally caught by a furious group of haggard and scratched people Naruto was long gone from the scene having gathered what he could, which unfortunately was not everything he had hoped for. Having to miss out on objects to large like clothing, the bigger weapons or the more dangerous stuff like explosive tags that they keep locked behind the counter.

Despite the setbacks to his progress as Naruto finally came to a stop deep in the village's surrounding forest he couldn't help but grin at his haul. The pile of ill gotten goods contained a few boxes of dry nutrient cereal bars used by ninja on long term missions, perfect way to supplement Naruto's over all diet for the time being. He also managed to acquire some basic ninja gear like kunai, wire spools, shuriken, a weapon holster and a few thin books from the supplementary training section. By far the books were the greatest prizes to Naruto while they were likely to only be genin level or lower material much like his first book they were still gold to a shunned boy without a clan like Naruto. As much as he would still have loved to have books on high-powered ninja techniques only an idiot would believe they could be found in a public place like a shop or library.

Examining the titles of the four books he managed to grab Naruto could immediately tell the first three would be very useful. 'A Ninja's guide to poisons, the plants and animals that can kill you.' The usefulness of the first book was obvious to Naruto, even just being able to avoid poisons like the berries that made him sick could save his life but the book could also open the door up to being able to poison his enemies.

The second book seemed to be a medical text, 'How to stop yourself from bleeding to death and other important medical tips'. Given the tough life ninja led Naruto could understand how at least some ability to do first aid would help keep them alive. The third book however made Naruto very excited, disciplined as he might try to be since first starting his training he was still a little boy loved cool ninja moves. It came as no surprise that a book called, '101 basic ninja techniques to make your daily life easier' would make Naruto jump for joy. Sure the moves listed were mostly weak skills any ninja clan would scoff at meant only to help with household chores like keeping a house cool on a hot day to making fresh paint dry quickly with a small breeze. Still to Naruto a boy who never had access to any kind of ninjutsu before and lived alone having to do all the chores by himself the book was perfect.

Flipping through the basic ninjutsu book quickly to see what was in it Naruto stumbled upon the most awesome, killer and all around cool technique he had ever seen, it heated water. While he may be trying to cut back on instant ramen because of the diet suggested by the training manual Naruto did still love the stuff and always hated how long it took to make. But a ninja move that boiled water almost instantly? Naruto broke into happy tears thinking about how much faster he could eat ramen without all the wasted minutes watching a pot boil using this new move.

Looking at the cover of the last final book Naruto was not sure what to make of it. 'Tsunade's guide of the female ninja'. From the first page of the book Naruto had to fight a frown off his face at the final book, he was not a girl so how could it help him? The dedication inside the cover did not help inspire any great enthusiasm either as the author complained about only writing the book to pay off some gambling debts.

Giving up on the confusing fourth book until later Naruto buried all of his new found bounty except one book to help hide the goods incase his apartment was searched after the store owner notice the things missing. Deciding on starting with the basic ninja technique book so he could read up on some the more useful ones to help with his daily chores freeing up more time for training and giving him some experience at channeling chakra to a specific purpose. When he got home he planned on reading the book inside for the rest the day, Naruto could not help but have a grin on his face at how his life seemed to be looking up.