Esme

1907

" Doctor Cullen I was wondering if I might ever see you again?" He smiled generously at my childish attempts at being subtle.

"Well Ms. Platt, I had no idea you'd taken such an interest in my son Edward." My blush eagerly colored my face in loud shades of red. I was positively mortified by his incorrect assumptions. Edward was a very nice young man, devilishly handsome in a way, but he was a mere 5 years older than me. The only companionship I wanted from him was a friendship, I would never ask him to be my lover, unlike Doctor Cullen. Oh the passion I held for him in my young body! He was the Abelard to my Heloise, the Christopher Brandon to my Marianne Dashwood, the most charming, fantastic and splendid man I had ever met! It was truly a shame he was not married yet, however that small thought made me bless my broken leg twice. I never would have met him, if not for the injury.

"No Doctor Cullen I actually was referring to you yourself. You are a wonderful doctor, It would be a shame for our town to miss you so soon after acquiring your magnificent services."

He smiled again as we reached the open archway in the hospital's halls where we had to part ways, he had never gone into the sunlight around me. Most of the town suspected he was a vampire, but I thought it was just the bigotry of small town life, certainly Doctor Cullen was much too beautiful to be a child of the night, he had a skin sensitivity.

"I regret to inform you ms. Platt that my son and I will be moving on soon, I'm afraid we only stayed for your broken leg. I was originally only here for a conference that ended many weeks ago. Aside f\rom that I believe we have overstayed our welcome." It was marveling to me how he had seen through all their fake smiles and politeness so easily, I had known our entire town all my life and I still had trouble spotting the imposters. It gave me a secret shiver of joy to know he had inadvertently admitted to me that the only reason he stayed was for me, and concern for my medical condition.

"That really is an unfortunate turn of events Doctor Cullen, I wish you well on your travels though." I quickly turned away to run home. His hand caught my face sharply, like a slap, when I turned to ask him what I had done he was as far away he could get without being rude.

"I'm sorry ms. Platt but you should go." My heart smarted worse than my face with that remark.

"I'm sorry Doctor Cullen" He was by my side again in an instant, touching my face in excruciatingly gentle movements of his hand. Smoothing my rebellious curls behind my ear, he spoke so softly yet I felt my ears burning off with the tenderness of his words.

"Do not be sorry Esme, never be sorry for your fragility, never be sorry for your weakness." His hand came in contact with the sun, for just a moment, one beautiful, sparkling moment, when I belived his hand was actually glittering in the sun. It was the heat, I later thought, just a scalding day. In retrospect it had been so ardent that his touch had cooled me, his skin was not cold and hard.

1921

I awoke with a start as the baby began kicking. I had not dreamed of Carlisle for many years. It unnerved me that I was doing so mere weeks before my child was to be born. My nanny Amaria would always tell me that you only dreamed of someone if you were going to meet them again and while I desperately wanted to see the extraordinary man again I was sure he would be appalled by my condition. If he saw me living alone, pregnant none the less he might try to take me home.

I could not go home. I would not go home. They would not force me back to my husband. They would not force my child back to that monster. I would never let my child feel the pain of a beating. The devil would have to kill me first.

I felt strange as I stood up, there was a slight pain in my abdomen and a moisture between my legs, it wasn't odd I was tending to sweat more and more as the summer months got more intense though it was very uncomfortable.

I became worried as the pain intensified when I rose to get a glass of water. Before I even understood what happened I was on the floor propping myself up on my knees and palms. I had never experienced such agony, my stomach trembled with the force of contractions. I tried to tamp down my cries though I was sure I could be heard miles from where I was. My body trembled as though it were glass absorbing the impact of a boulder. I was sure my body would break apart from the sheer force of my quivering. I crawled to the door, not realizing blood fell from me until my hands were already clasping around the knob. My own screams deafened my ears. The door flew open, I sprawled onto the floor splayed in all directions.

My neck burned with the cold touch that assaulted me. I had only felt one hand like that before. Amaria had been right.

"Carlisle" I moaned out his name in a desperate mewl. The hands working over me stopped for only a second, then he was working over me again. He picked me up gently in his arms of granite and brought me to the bed. I wondered absently where Edward was, he had almost never left Carlisle's side except when he was working at the hospital.

The cold air was refreshing as he lifted my nightgown to examine me.

"Ms. Platt I need you to push for me." My mind fogged over to the pain, I was barely coherent at all. I felt I would pass out if this continued for much longer. I could barely remember why I was even in so much pain.

"Mrs. Platt you need to push." I tried to remember who this man was, he hiked my skirt up to such an indecent length, He was not even my husband. Or was he my husband? Was I married? I couldn't remember.

"Ms. Platt." I was losing myself, my eyes fluttered close, eyelashes tickling my cheek.

"Ms. Platt." The noise was sharp, but I couldn't understand it, my body ached so horribly.

"Esme!" My body bowed into itself with the force of it's own spasm. I remembered now. I had to think clearly. My baby was going to come out. He wanted to meet me, he needed me.

Carlisle needed me too push.

My eyes flew open locking into Carlisle's golden orbs. I couldn't breath as he stared at me. The baby shifted causing another ripping pain through my lower abdomen. I forced myself to keep looking at him. I knew that given half the chance he would leave me again. I would not let him leave me. I screamed with enough force to rattle the walls. I pushed and pushed until I was sure my eyes were bulging and my sweat was drowning me. Carlisle lifted a small creature from under me. It was so tiny, so utterly small I couldn't understand it. The umbilical cord was severed and Carlisle cleaned the baby.

Afterwards he handed me my child, I couldn't breathe for what seemed like years. This small thing was mine, all mine. He was perfect. The most beautiful person I had ever seen even more stunning than Carlisle. It must have been impossible to love someone so much that you'd never even seen before. My child wrapped his tiny fingers around my pinky, they barely made it around once. He didn't even cry as I gently cuddled him. I was afraid I'd break him in my huge arms.

"Congratulations." The small whisper in my ear had my heart pounding. His affect on me was powerful, even after all this time. I was weak after he spoke my arms trembled under strain of holding the baby. Carlisle noticed and gently laid the baby in the crib next to my bed. I had just bought it last Tuesday, the nursery was in shambles I had thought I had so much time. Carlisle laid me down gently into the bed quickly cleaning me while inadvertently examining me. I caught his wrist as he was walking to the still open door. He must have let me catch him for I felt he was incredibly stronger than me. Now my pale hand was the one who looked tiny compared to his strong cold arms. I looked into his eyes and found the depths of centuries weighing down reflecting back at me.

"Please don't leave me. I need you here to help us." I pleaded desperately for him to stay, I was beyond my own embarrassment I was too exhausted to care. He didn't answer, didn't make any promises just gently pried my hand from his wrist and told me to sleep, so I slept.

When I woke up again I heard my baby's voice for the first and last time. He screamed and yelled and writhed in his crib. I saw a doctor leaning over him. Carlisle must have asked someone to fill in for him. I suppose it would have stung more had my baby not been dying. I rushed to the baby's side and waved my hands in a panicked rush.

"What's wrong with my baby? What's wrong?" He waved me away and tried to make me leave my baby.

"Tell me what's going on!" His tiny face was turning purple. He couldn't breathe.

"Why can't he breath? What happened? He was fine when Carlisle was here! What did you do?" I screamed at the man like a hell born fury. He was hurting my baby, killing my child. He had been fine until Carlisle left. It was all this man's fault that my baby was dying. I screeched and shoved him away from the crib.

I picked up my beautiful baby clutching him wildly to my chest. I couldn't let him die, my child had to live. He would live, he would be good. He's everything to me. He must live. He's mine all mine. He had to stay he couldn't leave me.

I was still holding him to my chest as the doctor told me to drop the dead baby.