I am so sorry, but right now, I can't write. There is too much going on in my life right now. Socially, I am now just figuring things out. I am on the block schedule at my school, so we have four classes the first half of the year and another four the second part. And there are two lunches. In the first part I was with my friend in some classes, the morning and lunch. Now with my new classes, I only see them in the morning, and because of this I was left out of the loop when two of my friends broke up with their boyfriends. This made me very upset because no one was telling me what was going on.

Not only that but I was having some guy problems of my own. I told the guy I liked (we'll call him Allen) that I liked him back in December. After six weeks I decided that he was never going to see me that way and got over him, but during these six weeks, we became really good friends. After I told him I no longer felt the same way for two weeks everything was normal, we were friends and nothing more, even though I was starting to doubt that I really got over him. One night, we were talking on the phone when he told me he liked me. I realized he felt this way only because I did not want him anymore, the whole want what you can't have thing. So I waited. It took me about a month to gather up the courage to ask him out (in the form of a poem, that the best way I can get my feelings out). We talked later that night and he said it was beautiful and it meant a lot to him, but he couldn't. Why you ask? Because he has a girlfriend. Even though when I asked him that morning, whether or not he still liked me, he had said yes, but yet he has a girlfriend? Now I think his girlfriend is purposely taking up his time in the morning because I have not talked to him in four days and it is driving me crazy because we are still friends, but he is also my antidepressant.

In school, I am getting so much homework. I have an AP class so that is taking up my time, but I get the most homework from Spanish II. At least once a week, there will be a day that I will come home (3:10) and work on homework until I go to bed (10:30) with the exceptions of dinner and bathroom breaks and end up waking early to finish it. By the end of the week, I am out of energy and can just barely do my chores and do whatever homework I have on the weekend.

Also because of the problems above, I have been severely depressed. I am not very stable in the emotions department, but most days I can make it though okay. This winter has been hell. When I am not around Allen, I can get depressed easily. Allen makes me happy, without even trying on his part. I find it almost impossible to be upset with him around. With my friends, it does not happen often but I can get depressed, but with the new schedule change, I don't have my friends to keep me somewhat stable as much.

As far as when I will start writing again, I am not exactly sure when I am going to start writing. I may post a chapter during spring break, but my AP teacher said he was going to give us work to do, so don't count on that. I will start updating again when summer starts for sure. I am so sorry, but there is just too much to focus on Fanfiction right now.

Alexandra

P.S. Please don't review, I plan on deleting this when I post the next chapter and if you review now you won't be able to review later. If you want to commit PM me.